An infantile person is a person who does not want to grow up. What is infantilism and how to get rid of it

Good day, dear readers. Today you will find out the answer to the question, what kind of infantile person is this. You will know the definition of the concept of infantilism. You will find out what signs characterize an infantile man, woman, and also a child.

general information

Infantilism is immaturity, childishness, underdevelopment of the psyche.

An infantile person is a person who is dominated by incorrect behavior, the inability to take responsibility for his actions, the inability to make decisions on his own, the lack of a goal in life, no aspirations.

This condition implies that an adult has the behavior and character of a child. Infantilism is quite common in the practice of psychologists, leading to the emergence of other problems in the life of the individual. A person is able to fight this manifestation, however, he will need constant work on himself.

When mature people come into contact with infantile ones, one can cause irritation in others, which can lead to conflicts.

An immature subject cannot clearly perceive the people around him, does not know how to adapt to the prevailing circumstances, and will cause the people around him to be unwilling to communicate with him. An infantile person tries to interact with those people who, by their behavior, remind him of his parents. Otherwise, he risks running into conflict.

When there is a need for a love relationship, infantile girls and boys, first of all, try to find a person who resembles their father or mother, respectively. Often in such cases, the parents themselves choose the couple. As a rule, the chosen ones of infantile people are older people, socially successful. However, it must be borne in mind that biological parents may have a conflict with a person who, in fact, took their place in the life of an infantile personality. Often, it is the real mother or father that takes priority in the mind of the child, which leads to the breakdown of the marriage.

Causes

It is believed that infantility is born in the process of education, in the period from eight to fifteen years in the presence of adverse conditions. At the initial stage, it manifests itself in disobedience to parents, hysteria, manipulation, and an irresponsible approach to learning.

A bad example of infantile parents. The child copies their model of behavior.
Excessive guardianship, the inability of the baby to make decisions independently.
Imposing your opinion, your point of view on the little one, excessive control of the child's actions.
Parents who spend too much time at work do not have enough opportunity to raise a child. Often their influence is replaced by a computer, watching television, listening to music. In such a situation, the child develops the illusion of permissiveness, he understands that he can manipulate everyone around him.
There is an opinion that the school education system also negatively affects the development of the child's psyche. Today, within the walls of the school, all attention is concentrated on general education subjects, they do not focus on the process of education. The child is not explained what is bad and what is good. The lack of moral training leads to the consolidation of infantile patterns, immaturity.

Parents who exert severe pressure on a child in childhood, control his actions or surround him with unnecessary care, it is difficult to stop behaving like that as the child grows up. They see their baby in an adult and cannot change their behavior pattern. Parents can interfere in his personal life, get constant calls, express their advice. An infantile person is not able to resist such actions, he is afraid of independence and responsibility.

Characteristic manifestations

Infantilism can manifest itself in different ways in different situations. It can characterize the attitude to one's health, the creation of a family, to marriage. The thinking and character of an infantile person are practically indistinguishable from the thinking of a child. The immaturity of the personality is manifested both from a social and psychological perspective. The characteristic signs of infantilism include:

inability to make decisions without someone's help;
lack of independence;
unpredictability;
lack of desire to make adult decisions;
irresponsibility;
unwillingness to develop;
and selfishness;
dependent tendencies;
lack of life goals;
prone to addictions;
inadequacy;
impaired perception;
inability to adapt;
lack of social promotion;
difficulty in communication.

An infantile person can be identified by the characteristics of behavior.

Such people are in no hurry to answer for their actions, they will gladly hide behind the backs of friends, wives or parents.
The infant lives playfully. Such a person is fond of shopaholism, attend parties, hangs in computer games.
He is not able to conduct introspection, is closed on his personality. Because of this, there are difficulties in understanding other people, the realization that others may perceive the world around them differently.
Does not know how to take into account the interests of other people. This leads to difficulties in communication. It is hard to make new acquaintances, to make contact with people. The phrase "" is characteristic.
A person has no goals in life, he lives for today.
He does not know how to predict the future, make plans. Does not build strategies in behavior in order to achieve certain goals. He rejoices in the results that are able to satisfy his needs at the moment.
An infantile person in almost all cases is low-income, has difficulty finding a job, and there is no career advancement.
Looking at an infantile person, you can see a shade of irony or contempt, lowered corners of the lips.

In order to make sure that you are dealing with an infantile personality, pay attention to his relationship with his parents. If they are equal, a person shows concern, then this is a good sign. If the parents show strong guardianship, invade the subject's space, impose their behavior, then there is an infantile personality.

In men

Let's look at what an infantile man is, signs of such a condition.

The person is incapable of action.
He has egocentrism, obsession with his own personality. He considers himself a leader in any situation. When problems arise, they shift the blame to others.
Inability to independently serve themselves in everyday life. Such a husband cannot do housework. It seems like a tragedy for him to wash the dishes or do the cleaning.
Such men spend a lot of time playing games, they can spend hours on the Internet.
Often he chooses a woman who is older than him, counts on parental care. If such a chosen one meets, the person remains a child forever.
A man does not achieve great success in his career, often works in a low-paid place, does not strive for anything.
There may be no hobbies, the ability to self-development.

Among women

Let's look at what an infantile, not matured woman is, signs of such a condition.

The image of a little girl is created, which makes men want to take care and protect. Often, experienced men who have achieved a lot in life choose such frivolous, spoiled women for themselves, because they allow them to relax and change their usual way of life.
Such women dream of meeting a young man who would take on the role of daddy. Looking for a potential groom, they are looking for a courageous, wealthy partner.
An infantile girl finds herself in extreme situations, in bad stories, she constantly needs to be rescued.
Such a young lady is more characteristic of a sports type of clothing, often reminiscent of children's outfits, more sequins, rhinestones, prints.
Such a woman, as a rule, has many friends. She is cheerful and energetic. The social circle is represented by people who are younger than her. Men with such a woman are never bored.
An infantile young lady in reality may not be such. Such a pattern of behavior may be a forced measure. A girl manipulates her partner in this way, she can pretend to be offended when, in fact, she is very angry, deliberately sheds a tear, and shows a sad mood. She can pretend to be confused if she doesn’t know what she wants, easily makes a man believe that he is in charge, that without him she will be lost, will not survive.

Infantilism in children

This state is quite consistent with the development of the child's psyche. If you pay attention in time to the relationship of the child with his parents, then you can trace the beginnings of the development of adult infantilism:

the baby can constantly evade responsibility and obligations, while the parents indulge his desires;
in the life of the child, interest in games prevails, and not in learning, parents encourage him.

Teachers may indicate the possible development of immaturity when a student in class:

more engaged in games;
restlessness is present;
cannot concentrate on any business;
emotional instability;
immaturity and hysteria;
such children distract others in the lesson;
they do not complete tasks;
communicate mainly with those who are younger.

Such kids suffer from neuroses, become closed in themselves.

How to help a child

It is important to notice the presence of infantilism in the behavior of the child in time and begin to act.

Always consult with the opinion of your little one, find out what he thinks about a particular problem. Discuss the family budget together. It is important that the baby feels equal, feels that he is also responsible for making any decisions.
Parents can artificially create difficulties in a child's life so that he learns to overcome them.
The kid can be given to the sports section. It is believed that sport allows you to strengthen a person, make him more purposeful and responsible.
Make sure that the child has communication with peers and with people who are much older than him.
No need to make a decision for the baby, no need to generalize it with yourself. The child must know that there is a "mother" and there is a "he".
If the little one made any mistakes, it is necessary to work on them, analyze his actions, and realize how everything can be corrected. It is important to explain to the child what is good and what is bad.
In the case when parents are not able to independently influence the change in the behavior of the child, they turn to a psychologist for help. A specialist can add medications to general therapy that improve memory, brain activity and concentration.

How to overcome infantilism as an adult

To become psychologically stronger, to get rid of infantilism, it is necessary to act.

It's time to realize that you are an infantile person. A person must decide to change, to do it of his own free will, and not under pressure from others.
It is important to learn to take responsibility for your actions, stop shifting it onto other people's shoulders. It is time to understand that in your life there is no longer room for helplessness and weakness.
You need to solve your problems on your own. If there is a difficult situation, then you can turn to your loved ones for help. But minor difficulties need to be solved by yourself. If something seems too complex, it can always be broken down into smaller tasks.
If bouts of infantility are observed at turning points, it's time to work on self-confidence, ideally with a qualified specialist.
You need to find your way. Learn to analyze your actions, choose your favorite thing. If necessary, change the type of activity, place of work to one where the results will be more tangible, which means that there will be an incentive to change and grow up the career ladder.
Deliberately create a situation for yourself in which it will be necessary to make a decision without anyone's help. For example, get a job where you will be given some responsibility.
You can ask your loved ones not to show unnecessary guardianship and prevent infantile behavior.
You can get a pet to take responsibility for someone.
You can act in a radical way, change your usual comfort zone, move to another city or move to a new job.
Seek help from a specialist in the case when you can’t cope with your infantilism on your own. The psychologist will point out the qualities that hinder your development, give practical advice on how to overcome them.

It is believed that a person who was not taught to be independent in childhood cannot get rid of infantilism without the help of a qualified specialist.

Now you know what an infantile personality is. You have found out for what reasons infantilism can develop, and how it manifests itself. As you can see, both men and women are affected by this condition. In the case of the former, they are more condemned by society, it is enough to compare the concepts and daddy's daughter. A man with such manifestations is unable to create a family, unreliable in economic terms. The independence of women is normally perceived, a man happily takes on the role of a caring person, confirming his status as a leader.

Marina Nikitina

What is infantilism and what are its causes? This is childishness in the behavior of an adult, the so-called emotional immaturity. If for children whose personality is just being formed, this is a normal trait, then for an adult it is unnatural to be infantile.

Adult infantilism

It is good when an adult is able to perceive the world as joyfully, easily, openly and with interest, as in childhood.

So who are these infantile people? This is when a person (personality) behaves like a child, when he has fun, plays, fools around, relaxes, “falls” into childhood for a while.

In a conflict or anxious situation, a person uses an unconscious return to children's behavior patterns in order to protect himself from excessive worries and experiences, to feel safe. This is a psychological defense mechanism - regression, the consequences of which are infantile behavior. After overcoming the external or the person again returns to normal behavior.

Infantile girl runs with balloons in her hands

The problem arises if infantilism is not a situational manifestation, but a delay in the development of the personality. The purpose of infantilism is to create psychological comfort. But infantilism is not a temporary protection or state, but habitual behavior. Infantilism is the preservation of behaviors corresponding to the age period of childhood in an adult. In this case, the question inevitably arises of how an adult can stop being a child and grow up emotionally.

In infantile personalities, the emotional-volitional sphere deviates in development. Man-Child does not know how to make decisions, control emotions, regulate behavior, behaves like a dependent baby.

When others say to an infantile person: “Don’t act like a child!”, They provoke advising behavior in response. The Man-Child will not ask the question: “Am I really acting like a child?”, will not listen to criticism, but will be offended or angry. Many articles have been written about how to get rid of infantilism for a woman or a man. But people with a similar temperament are not inclined to study such literature or heed the advice of loved ones, because they consider their own behavior to be the norm.

An adult, consciously or unconsciously, chooses a childish style of behavior, because it is easier to live this way.

Causes and forms of infantilism

The phrase said by a parent to a child: “Don't behave like a child!” sounds paradoxical, but this is how adults teach children to strive for independence and responsibility. Parents should urgently take action if they notice that an infantile child is growing in the house. How to help him grow up and raise a full-fledged personality, you can understand on your own, knowing the origins of the problem.

The causes of infantilism lie in the mistakes of education. Therefore, few people already ask themselves the question of how to get rid of infantilism in adulthood, considering their behavior and worldview to be the norm. The main mistakes parents make are:

overprotection, that is, the suppression of the child's initiative, when he could not take responsibility for himself and, accordingly, could not learn self-control,
lack of love and care in childhood, which the individual seeks to make up for as an adult,
early adulthood when a person does not have time to be a child,

Treating an adult like a child is also the reason for the development of infantilism in him. A person takes everything for granted, more and more confident in the correctness of his own behavior. Before you ask yourself how to deal with infantilism for a woman or a man, you need to know how and in what this character trait is manifested.

Infantilism manifests itself as follows:

Laziness. Inability to arrange life, unwillingness to serve oneself (cook food, wash things, and so on), shifting household duties to relatives.
Dependency. An infantile person may not work, live at the expense of relatives, or may go to work, but have no desire to work.

Young infantile people laugh

Egocentrism. The Man-Child believes that others are obliged to satisfy needs, to try for him, forgetting about himself, while he himself does not think about others. Such individuals are ungrateful, and the good deeds of others are perceived as proper behavior.
Passion for games and entertainment. An infantile person is drawn to fun and carelessness. Shopping, beauty salons, chasing gadgets, hen/stag parties, nightclubs, discos, entertainment centers, all kinds of games (gambling, computer, and so on).
Transferring responsibility. Decision-making, fulfillment of duties and other responsible activities, the person-Child shifts to relatives.
Disorganization of life. An infantile person has no plans, he does not set himself goals and objectives, does not know what the daily routine is, does not think about accounting for money.
Unwillingness to develop An infantile person does not see the point in development, because everything suits him anyway, he lives in the present, not analyzing past experience, not thinking about the future. Adults behave like children when they want to remain children, do not want to grow up.

How to overcome infantilism

You can be infantile only when there are close, loving and caring people nearby, on whom responsibility is shifted.

If in the relationship of two adults one person behaves like a Child, the second takes the role of his Parent. When an adult is so immersed in the role of the Child that it takes over his personality, he should turn to a psychologist or psychotherapist. Because the inner Adult is not able to overpower the inner Child, and outside help is needed.

They get rid of infantilism, realizing it as a problem and engaging in self-education.

You need to learn to be responsible, organized, independent. However, for people who are too insecure and tense, infantilization is sometimes extremely useful. For example, in psychological support groups there are even special courses that involve creating an atmosphere of general trust, fun and emancipation. Adults are taught to be liberated, based on the behavior and character traits of children.

And also self-educate in yourself:

activity,
accuracy,
thrift,
prudence,
thoughtfulness,
and other qualities of a mature personality.

Tips on how to get rid of infantilism in adults:

Find an interesting job which assumes responsibility for other people. If the work is pleasant, it is easy and pleasant for a person to take responsibility. Find serious tasks, set intractable tasks, come up with strong-willed tests.

Infantile girl blows bubbles

Get an animal. A helpless animal will become a "child" for an infantile person, he will have no other choice but to become a Parent for him. The role of the Parent involves organization, punctuality, care, responsibility, problem solving, and meeting the needs of a helpless being.
Create conditions when there is no other choice but to grow up. Living on your own, away from caregivers and parents, or moving out helps you mature quickly. Also, a person becomes an adult when he has a family and children.

Being frivolous is easy, but being able to stand up for yourself, overcome life's trials, and provide the conditions necessary for survival on your own is difficult. Being an adult can be learned through education and self-education.

March 22, 2014, 14:37

Today, many are looking for the definition of the word infantilism. Since the problem of the presence in the appearance or behavior of traits characteristic of the previous age stage, a delay in the development of the personality, has become too relevant today. Preservation of childlike qualities in a person and a lag in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere.

The meaning of the word infantilism in a figurative sense is characterized as a manifestation of a childish approach in various areas of life, an inability to make informed decisions and an unwillingness to make commitments.

Signs of infantilism:

Egocentrism. Obsession with oneself, inability to understand and feel the state of others. An egocentric person cannot realize that others can think and see the world around them differently. He is sure that everything is created only for him, and others are obliged to satisfy his needs. The inner world of others is uninteresting to him.
Dependency. Inability or unwillingness to serve themselves. This is more typical for men, for example, in the family they refuse to do housework, arguing that they bring money into the house. It turns out that such a man plays two different roles, at work he is responsible, and at home he is an infantile boy.
Game orientation. Most of the leisure and material resources are spent on the game. The most popular games for an adult child include constant gatherings in bars, discos, shopping, and the acquisition of technical innovations.
Inability to decide on one's own. Decision-making requires will, and an infantile person prefers to live without straining, choosing a path with less resistance.
Unwillingness to take responsibility for one's life and actions. The easiest option is not to decide anything yourself, shifting this mission to others, and often such people are surrounded by an infantile personality.
Lack of plans for the future. The life of an infantile personality is an endless “now”, so you don’t have to worry about health and finances.
Inability to self-knowledge and self-esteem. What happens in life is not comprehended, therefore it does not pass into experience, remaining an ordinary event. Infantile people do not learn lessons from life.

In psychology, infantility is considered a quality acquired through upbringing.

Causes of infantilism:

Most parents block the independence of the child with their distrust. Not trust, control, severe punishments for wrong actions and the child’s desire to do something in the future disappear forever.
With their phrases and actions, parents convince the child that he is a loser, he cannot be entrusted with anything, others do better, and as a result, suppress his will and feelings.
Great guardianship on the part of parents who, through the child, are trying to satisfy their ambitions.
The parents love the child. As a result, the self-esteem of the child rises very high, along with the confidence that everything in life can be obtained without effort.
Divorce of parents. While the parents understand each other, the child feels unnecessary to anyone. He often does not understand what is happening and takes the blame. The child becomes isolated and begins to live in his own world, where he is comfortable, and the real world frightens him.

Infantilism is characteristic of both sexes, but in men it is much more common. Such people do not have a family for a long time and live with their parents. A life partner may appear at the insistence of parents who are tired and can no longer support and serve their grown sons. When children are born, the care of them and the house, as well as the maintenance of the family, falls entirely on women's shoulders. The "breadwinner" withdraws himself, spends all the time in front of a computer or TV.

Women's infantilism also exists. Infantile women spend time in clubs, casinos. They shy away from having children, creating a family, housekeeping. Their financial issues are first dealt with by their parents, then by sponsors.

In the modern world, there are more and more people who do not strive for great achievements, but prefer to live at the expense of others. What is infantilism? First of all, behind this concept lies inability to take responsibility for the events that occur in life. There are more than enough reasons for the development of this character trait at the present time. People literally lose the ability to focus on the main thing and become more and more lazy. Having become accustomed to spending time idly and constantly resting, it becomes increasingly difficult for a person to make efforts in order to do something for others. Infantilism often develops in a family where the only child grows up. Over time, he gets used to the fact that his parents are trying only for him alone, and begins to take any manifestations of care for granted.

Signs of infantilism

By what signs can you determine that a person is infantile? In most cases, they are literally conspicuous, because they look very noticeable.

Selfishness

The most important sign of infantility, which is constantly manifested in the behavior of such a person. A strong fixation on one's experiences creates an excessive focus on what is happening inside. Selfishness is expressed in the inability to put oneself in the place of other people, in the inability to experience empathy. A characteristic feature is such a strong self-isolation, reaching the point of absurdity. Own desires seem to be the most necessary and significant, while the needs of others do not matter at all. It is very difficult for such an individual to explain anything, since he is concentrated solely on his thoughts.

Unwillingness to develop

Infantilism hinders every new undertaking. All because there is no desire to deal with difficulties, to take some action towards the desired result. The personality does not see any prospects for its growth and advancement. Often she has a desire to shift her problems to others. All this comes from the inability to cope with important tasks, to understand the essence of ongoing events. Adult children who have become egoists do not want to start an independent life, but prefer to sit on their parents' necks, constantly demanding funds for their maintenance. Unwillingness to develop is another sign of infantilism. It is much more profitable for an individual to continue to depend on someone than to take real responsibility for his life.

Inability to solve problems

Personality is lost at the first difficulties that arise. She is not at all burdened by the realization that she has to constantly shift her difficulties onto outside shoulders. What is infantilism? This is a lack of faith in one's own prospects and possibilities. A person gives up as soon as he is faced with a difficult task. It doesn’t even occur to him to think about how to solve this or that issue on his own. The inability to solve problems is a sign of infantilism. When an individual does not even try to focus on something important, his strength goes to inner experiences. At the same time, there is no outward action. It is unlikely that with such an approach one can achieve something truly significant in life.

No goals

The lack of aspirations for something nullifies any prospects. Even if opportunities do appear, it becomes impossible to take advantage of them precisely because there are no goals to which one should direct one's efforts. Strongly developed infantilism prevents you from successfully moving through life, perform normal actions. The personality eventually becomes so lazy that it is no longer able to act in accordance with the situation. If she has any concerns, they are related to satisfying her own needs. The more the habit is formed to always and in everything rely on others, the stronger the signs of infantilism appear.

Behavior inadequacy

Usually, an adult accomplished person performs actions based on his own ideas about life. If an individual still lives in the past and does not want to leave the child's perception, then his behavior will necessarily be distinguished by some inadequacy. There may be rudeness, intolerance, irritation or even obvious aggression in the conversation.

Infantilism in men

Especially young guys suffer from this: they fall into childhood and shift the difficulties that arise onto the shoulders of their parents. Very often, infantilism makes you lead a passive lifestyle and sit at the computer for days on end, devoting the best years of your life to games. In men, this can become a habit over time. Of course, such behavior cannot be called adequate and correct.

Infantilism in women

In women, the reluctance to grow up is manifested in the choice of addictive behavior. It is easier for them to relieve themselves of all responsibility and be weak, defenseless, led. Such girls are completely dependent on men, they themselves do not want to make any decisions. And although such behavior is often perceived by people as the norm, it significantly harms the development of the individual, does not allow her to fully reveal her potential.

How to get rid of infantilism

Such a character trait, of course, harms the individual, cannot lead to a successful outcome. In most cases, a long work on oneself is required in order to defeat the childish view of the world. How to get rid of infantilism? Let's consider in more detail.

Awareness of the problem

Any change begins with trying to understand your own mistake. You can’t change something for the better if you don’t strive to work on yourself. Honest recognition of your mistakes will help overcome children's perception of reality. Understanding the essence of the problem will help build promising steps, helping to deal with the situation.

Getting out of the comfort zone

First of all, you need to give up the thought of feeling sorry for yourself. Many people suffer because they try their best to avoid difficulties. It is absolutely impossible to do so. This approach only exacerbates the problem, and does not allow a timely solution to it. Stepping out of your comfort zone guarantees gradual acceptance of responsibility for your life and the events that take place in it. Gradually, new perspectives will open up, additional opportunities will appear. The stronger a person has developed the habit of doing nothing, the more effort will have to be made later.

Having a goal

Being single-minded can work wonders on its own. The individual gradually straightens his shoulders, begins to believe in himself. Thinking about how to overcome infantilism, it should be understood that this cannot be done quickly. First you need to decide what should be done first, and what things can wait. In any case, it is necessary to act, and not sit still.

Taking responsibility

A key moment that changes a lot in everyday reality. Taking responsibility for oneself significantly improves the quality of life, allows you to stop being a big child, for whom everything is decided by others. From this step begins the true maturation of the individual. Until you take full responsibility for all your actions and actions, there is practically no chance to improve.

Animal care

Caring for a small creature, whether it be a kitten or a puppy, greatly raises in one's own eyes and improves self-esteem. Here already there is a need to enlist your own support so that the animal does not need anything. The desire to constantly hide behind the backs of the people around you will not help here. It is important to be able to discover additional opportunities in yourself, to take certain steps towards the desired result. Caring for a living being is indeed capable of eradicating laziness, apathy, and a sense of vanity.

Thus, in order to overcome infantilism in oneself, one must first honestly admit the existence of such a problem. Only in this way is it possible to correct a depressing situation. The more frank people are with themselves, the sooner they will be able to get out of this state.

Eternal children, dependent and naive, avoiding responsibility - all these are the characteristics of an infant. Infantilism is the result of the destructive. What kind of actions educate the infantile, who are the infants, how do they and those around them live? Let's figure it out.

Infantilism - personal immaturity, developmental delay, stuck in previous stages of development. An infant is called an adult or teenager with childlike features in behavior or appearance.

The infants lag behind in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere, they are not able to make serious life decisions, avoid responsibility, and react childishly to difficulties (whims, tears, screams, insults).

What about the relationship between adults and children exist? First of all, the social difference in positions is recognized, which means that children are pitied, they are forgiven a lot, they are not beaten, they do not wait for a constructive resolution, they do not demand anything important and they do not expect much - “a child, what to take from him”. So the infant puts on this mask so that they don’t touch him, don’t offend him, don’t sort things out, defend him, give way.

Both men and women are susceptible to infantilism, but it is more common in the former. Is there among your acquaintances a "child" of 30-40 (or 20) years old, living with mom and dad, sitting on their neck? This is a real infant. Overage children rarely start families, often tired parents begin to offer their child one or another option, but he is already fine: they will feed him, wash the dishes, wash and buy clothes. If the marriage can be concluded, then the role of mother falls on the shoulders of the wife. The husband plays the computer, eats, sleeps, sometimes works, but in family relationships he plays the role of a child.

Female infantilism is more often manifested in burning life, going to clubs, karaoke, casinos. Adult girls avoid having children, marriage, housekeeping. They are supported either by parents or "sponsors".

Infant or creative person?

Infantilism is often confused with. Non-standard, spontaneous people who love everything bright, unusual, new are called infantile. However, this is far from the case. Creative personalities have infantile traits (otherwise a person would not be able to use and create so actively), but they are not infants if this does not interfere with their life and relationships.

How to distinguish a creative person from an infantile one? The first, no matter how she looks, and no matter what she is fond of, is responsible for herself and other people, independently earns a living, pays her bills on time, does not forget to eat and take care of her appearance, knows how to resolve conflicts and discuss problems. Behind pink hair, a unicorn sweater and a cartoon lover may be the most responsible and diligent person you know. And for those around him, he is the best support.

The Infanta, on the other hand, always needs someone to take care of. He does not know how to keep track of time, his appearance, life. The Infante is not able to speak openly about his needs (let them guess), to provide for himself. He tries to remake people and refuses to work on himself and relationships. By the way, his wardrobe and hairstyle can be the most conservative.

Signs of an infant

Recognizing an infantile person is easy, because everyone knows how children behave. Here the infant seems to be an adult, but himself:

(there is only his opinion and wrong, only his feelings, needs and interests; the world revolves around his personality);
playful (the game is the leading activity in childhood, it also remains predominant in the infant, this means not only games directly or virtual space, but also clubs, bars, entertainment, shopping);
dependent (poorly developed in the infant, he follows the path of less resistance and life in pleasure, avoids solving problems);
irresponsible (categorically denies responsibility for their actions and life, shifts it to others (as a rule, these people are easily found);
insolvent (lives one day, does not think about the future, health and material well-being);
unable to evaluate and know himself (the infant does not know how to learn from the events that have happened and accumulate experience);
prone to dependency (inability or unwillingness to serve themselves).

Causes of infantilism

Infantilism is laid in childhood, when parents:

forbid the child to show independence, especially during the period;
do not trust the child, overly control and patronize;
severely punished for disobedience (manifestation of independence), which discourages the desire to try to do something yourself;
suppress the will, feelings and personality of the child (convince him of insolvency, criticize, compare with others in a negative way);
do not want to recognize the growing up of the child, let go of themselves;
force the child to realize the unfulfilled dreams and ambitions of the parents;
they cultivate the personality of the child, indulge him, bring him up as an idol of the family (a conviction is formed in superiority over others, permissiveness).

In addition, being stuck in childhood can be a defensive reaction, a way to survive. For example, the divorce of parents or a childhood lost for another reason can provoke infantilism.

In each person, according to, live a child, an adult and a parent. In the infanta, the conflict between the parent and the child reigns, which results in children's reactions of opposition.

How to get rid

To get rid of infantilism, it is not necessary to contact a psychologist. Sometimes his help is required, but we are talking about special cases caused by severe psychological trauma. Otherwise, you can adjust the behavior yourself:

Learn rationality. The infantile man lives. Make it a rule not to make decisions right away. Set a time limit (for example, 5 minutes) during which you must analyze the situation.
Learn to understand other people's feelings. Every day, force yourself to be interested in the opinions of other people, especially in controversial situations. You do not have to take someone else's point of view, but you must be able to hear and understand it.
Get rid of egocentrism. You are not the only person on the planet. You do not need to sacrifice yourself, but you need to develop a sound and. All social relationships are built on mutual respect and concessions.
Move away from the position of “want or don’t want”, get acquainted with the terms “should” and “should”. Each person has not only desires and rights, but also duties. Ask your family what responsibilities you have.
Before talking about yourself, take an interest in the affairs of another person, ask if he is tired after a working day, how his day went. Infantes talk more than they listen.
Learn to make decisions. Not only your own life will help in this, but also the events of films or articles, world current topics. Every day, analyze some case in relation to yourself.
Learn to plan your day, week, month, coming years. Make a to-do list right now.
Learn to set immediate and distant goals, determine your capabilities and ways to achieve these goals.
Prioritize with far-reaching perspectives. What do you want to become? What do you need for this? What do you need to donate? Every time you're torn between want and need, make a list of gains and losses for both. What ultimately outweighs the value, then choose.
Provide yourself with a stable source of income, rent a house, think about buying your own house (apartment). If you live with someone, make a daily contribution: clean, cook meals, help financially, etc.
Ask family and friends to help you grow up: to trust, not to rush to the rescue without asking, not to make decisions for you. You need to be in order to learn to take responsibility for your life. Close people are needed for support so that the infant does not drink himself or die in another way, but you need to stop living life for him. I have a toothache? The infant must himself make an appointment with the doctor and go to the appointment. Doesn't go? So, the tooth does not hurt so much. Delayed treatment, and the tooth needs to be removed? This is an experience. The main thing at such moments is not to attack others (“You see what you brought yourself to again”), but to support (“Yes, it turned out badly, but now you know what you need to do, and you won’t let it happen next time”) .
Get rid of romanticism, nihilism and cynicism. Realism is necessary for a productive life, but one can become a realist only through practice, through personal experience.

Forget old grievances, get rid of the fear of failure and criticism. Parents offended you because they themselves were deeply unhappy and. All people make mistakes. Ask people you know about their mistakes and the lessons they learned. Mistakes are very useful things. They help to develop, become smarter and more interesting.

The infantilism of a child is the fruit of the efforts of the parents. To recover, you need to separate from your mother and (or) father, and not so much physically (to move) and financially (find a job), but psychologically. Infantile people always hear the voice of a critical or protective parent in their head, even if the parent himself is not alive. As long as the inner parent persists, tension also persists, which means the desire to go into one's own world or reproduce old childish behavior patterns.