Instructions for guys on the first date: how to behave with a girl and where to go. What is a first date and what should you do on it? However, such grimacing creates new problems.
First of all, decide on the place where the date will take place. If it is warm and dry outside, it is best to arrange a meeting in the air: in a park, in a street cafe or on a lake. When it's cool outside, you can meet in a restaurant, in the same cafe, at home, go to the cinema. There are a lot of options, just choose what you and your companion will like.Step 2:
In addition, you can arrange a joint active holiday. Arrange a competition on roller skates, go to the rink, ride bicycles, sign up for some kind of competition. Grab some food, a bottle of champagne, and hike to some scenic spot.Step 3:
If you do not like to stay in seclusion for a long time, then together you can visit numerous exhibitions, sports competitions, flash mobs, a circus, after which you can sit for a while in an inexpensive cafe. Emotions will last for a long time, because your good impressions will be intertwined with the emotions of other people, but at the same time you will always be together.Step 4:
If you decide to invite a girl to the cinema, do not forget to carefully ask her which films she prefers, otherwise the date may not work out.Step 5:
If a girl about whom you know practically nothing agreed to a date, it is better to choose a place with neutral conditions for this, where you can learn more about your chosen one and not get into a mess. Although if you are risky, try and surprise the girl with something unusual.Step 6:
It is important, after you have decided on a date, to set yourself up in a calm romantic way. None of your problems and life difficulties should be reflected on your face, and even more so in your words. And it turns out that the girl just came on a date, and you are already loading her with your bad mood.Step 7:
After making the first contact, when you are sure that everything is going according to plan, give the girl original compliments. Just do not overdo it, otherwise the girl will suspect that you are not sincere with her. You can also bring her closer to you with the help of light, imperceptible touches during a conversation or a meal.Step 8:
Show the girl that her presence here and now is important to you, that this is not an ordinary meeting. Take care of her, ask about her opinion, about what she wants and so on. Don't create tension by prematurely thinking about what will happen after the date. Relax, immerse yourself in real communication. Everything else - later.Step 9:
When “later” comes, thank the girl for a wonderful date, spend slowly home, expressing a desire to see you again. This is a must if you really like the girl, otherwise some uncertainty may arise.Step 10:
In all cases, the main thing is to remain tactful, cheerful, attentive and prudent. Everything that happens on a date should be under your control. Good luck!After you have successfully met a girl, taken her phone number and correctly carried out the first telephone conversation, the next stage of seduction begins - a date with a girl. It is very important to understand what a "date" is. A date is a stage in your relationship with a girl. A date does not equal a date. You can go through all three dates in one meeting. And you can spend the first date for two months, meet during this time with a girl 10-15 times, and remain at the stage of the first date (for example, a guy meets a girl for two months, while not only not having sex with her, but not even kissed her; the guys who come to us for advice, this happens very often).
There are three stages of seducing a girl - three dates with a girl:
- First date. Smotriny, finding common interests and points of contact, the beginning of rapprochement.
- Second date. End of approach and kinesthetics (touch).
- Third date. Transition to sex and sex itself.
We teach our students to reach sex with a girl in three meetings. That is, we believe that going through the path of three dates in three meetings is a good baseline for our graduate. At the same time, our graduates with a number of girls manage to go through the whole process in one meeting.
Today we will talk about how to spend the first date with a girl.
What to wear on a first date?
Everything is simple here! You need to dress for the first date according to the same rules as when going out “in the field” in order to get to know a girl. That is, - "like a needle."
What to give on a first date?
Many beginners of dating and seduction believe that a girl should definitely give something on a first date. For example, a bouquet of flowers. Perfect nonsense! You don't have to donate anything. In the near future, there will be an article on our website where we will analyze in detail what and when to give girls. In the meantime, let's say that neither for the first, nor for the second, nor for the third date, girls need to give anything.
Where to go on a first date?
The best option for a first date is a cafe or a hookah bar. Walking or sitting on benches in the park is also suitable. But cafes are better. Its advantage is in a quiet environment and the ability to concentrate on each other. On the street, you and your girlfriend will be distracted by extraneous things - other people, all sorts of noise and interference. Yes, and it is better to look at each other in a cafe, sitting next to each other. It's a very big mistake to go on a first date with a girl in a movie or any other place where you can hardly talk.
In a cafe, it is advisable to order something to drink (tea, coffee, juice, water) and some kind of dessert (ice cream, cake) or a small portion of food (for example, pizza).
Hookah is better than a cafe. Hookah is very relaxing and creates a trusting atmosphere. Naturally, if you come to a hookah bar, you need to order a hookah and drink something. But you have to be careful with hookah - not all girls smoke hookah. Therefore, if you want to smoke a hookah with a girl, at the call stage it is best to ask the girl if she smokes it at all or not.
There is, of course, a universal option - to invite a girl to a cafe that has a regular room and a hookah room. And already on the spot decide which room you will go to.
The area in which the cafe will be located is very important. The best option is the city center. An exception can only be if you and the girl live in the same area. Then you can choose a cafe near you both. But only if it's a worthwhile cafe. If there are none nearby, go to the center! It’s a big mistake to choose a meeting place closer to the girl’s house if you yourself live on the other side of the city. If you are not from the same area, the meeting should be held on neutral territory.
Who pays on the first date?
Remember the rule, who invites, he pays. Therefore, the bill on the first date, as well as on subsequent dates, is paid by the man. An exception can only be if the girl basically always pays for herself (sometimes this happens, although very rarely). Thus, if it comes to paying the bill and the girl says that she will pay for herself, you can refuse, but if the girl insists, then take the money, add your own there and pay the bill.
Or you can say, “Let me pay today, and next time you have coffee, okay?”. Thus, you will prepare a springboard for the next meeting.
What is the purpose of a first date?
The purpose of the first date is to get to know each other as best as possible, find common ground and common interests, determine whether you need to meet again, if so, to interest the girl as much as possible.
What to talk about with a girl on a first date?
You can talk with a girl both on the first date and on subsequent dates about absolutely everything. For more information on this topic, see other materials on our site. And here we add that it is very important to speak emotionally and with the soul. Girls are very fond of emotions. One way to express emotions is to tell something interesting beautifully and with feeling.
It is also desirable during the first date to find common interests and common ground. Find out who likes to do what, where he prefers to go, what he is interested in and enjoys. Later, this information will help us decide how and where to have the most effective second date.
First date touch
On the first date, it is important to make at least a few touches. We recommend that you do all of the following:
- Gently shake hands when meeting.
- During the conversation several times (at least twice) touch the girl as if by chance. It is especially good to do this during your emotional story about something.
- At parting, kiss the girl on the cheek (or better - on the lips; you can without a hickey).
How long is the first date?
The length of the first date is from 40 to 90 minutes. The optimal time is one hour. You, not the girl, should determine the moment of the end of any date (including the first one). When you realized that all the tasks that need to be completed for the first date have already been completed, you must decide whether this meeting ends or not. You have two options:
- Finish the meeting.
- Continue the meeting and thus start the second date.
If you decide to end the meeting (which most of the time you do), you can use one of the following formulas:
- Oh, it's been so long... It's so good with you that time passes too fast...
- I have to go. So many things to do today...
If you have already decided that you want to meet this girl again, then you can immediately agree on the next meeting. For example, you found out during a date that a girl likes to skate. And you love too. So, you can safely agree to meet on a second date at the rink. If the girl did not suit you, you can.
The transition from the first date to the second
If you decide not to end the date, then you need to start a second date and do what you are supposed to do on a second date.
We add that if the first date smoothly turns into the second, then it is very desirable to change the place. If you were walking, it is optimal to move to a romantic cafe. If you were in a cafe, but did not smoke a hookah, you can move to a hookah hall or another cafe where there is a hookah. If you have already smoked a hookah, you can move to a romantic cafe. You can also go to a pizzeria, karaoke, club, billiards, bowling, skating rink and many other places. You will need to do there what is supposed to be done on a second date.
If you decide that the first meeting must necessarily end in sex, then it is very important to move to the second place, and after a while (after 2-4 hours) to the third (and then, possibly, to the fourth). Movements are detailed here.
We wish you good luck and believe that everything will work out for you!
The first date is a touching and exciting moment in the life of any girl. Of course, I want the first date not to be the last and give rise to a long and wonderful relationship. That is why inexperienced beauties in pursuit of a dream make a lot of mistakes on a first date.
First of all, it is worth remembering that the young man liked the girl for who she is. If he likes quiet people, then he will never ask a girl band for a date. If he is attracted to bright girls, then he will not pay attention to the gray mouse. Therefore, the first and main law on the first date is to remain yourself. If in ordinary life a girl uses little cosmetics and wears what is convenient for her, then you should not come on a first date with a war face paint, like the American Indians, in a chic evening dress and huge stilettos. This is not just a way to surprise a man, but also to scare him away.
Be natural
But the reason for ending the relationship immediately after the first joint evening can be not only makeup and outfit, but also gestures, facial expressions, behavior, and incorrectly chosen topics for conversation. Therefore, before you go on a first date, you should read some tips. They will help prevent the same mistakes that many girls made on first dates.
The first step to success is to stop being afraid
Of course, the first date makes the girl tremble and worry. Some beauties cannot sleep and eat while waiting to meet their loved one. But don't push yourself too hard. Extra worries will affect the appearance of a young beauty. And this cannot be allowed.
It is important to remember that for a young man this moment is just as important as for a girl. Guys get excited, get ready and hope to please. The only difference is that men do not make long-term plans. Many girls already on the first date imagine how long and happily they will live with their chosen one, become a wife and mother. Men, on the other hand, most often make plans no longer than a week in advance. You should not talk about your dreams of a happy family life with the young man who invited you on the first date. Sometimes this makes the chosen one panic. Therefore, it is better to leave such conversations for another time.
Panic is not the best companion on a first date
The first date is the moment when you can get to know a man better, learn about common interests. This touching moment of acquaintance does not lose its zest even if the young man and the girl had known each other for a long time before the first date. This event is an occasion to discover a person from a new side.
If a girl prepares in advance for the first date, then this will add her self-confidence. It is better to think over your outfit, makeup, and also think about what plans you have for an upcoming date. Maybe you want a long-term relationship? Or is it just a hobby? Maybe a way to get distracted and find an easy relationship that will brighten up everyday life? Or something different? Depending on the goals, you can choose tactics of behavior.
How to choose the right outfit for a first date?
Everyone knows the old truth that they are met by clothes. Therefore, girls first of all think about what to wear to impress their companion. It is important to remember that the main secret of success is naturalness. A person who tries to be what she is not will fail.
It is generally accepted that on a date you must definitely wear a dress and shoes with heels. But that hasn't been the case for a long time. If a girl is confident in her ability to stay on heels, loves and knows how to wear dresses, then she can do it. But if a girl is much more comfortable in jeans, and she has never stood in heels, then the first date is not the moment for experiments. If a beauty constantly stumbles and falls because of high stilettos, on which she cannot walk, then this will only cause laughter.
Clothes for the first date depends on where this important event should take place. An outfit for a walk in the park or entertainment in an amusement park is significantly different from clothes for an evening in a cafe or restaurant.
Choosing clothes is an important aspect of a first date.
The second rule is convenience and comfort. From meeting a young man, enjoying a pleasant evening and conversation, neither tight shoes nor a tight dress should distract. Most often, such unpleasant surprises are presented by new things.
Girls like to buy a brand new dress and shoes for a first date. But in order for shopping to bring only joy, it is worth putting them on a couple of times to take a walk, for example, to a friend’s house or go to the store. Then you can learn about the nuances of the outfit that can ruin the evening.
Of course, girls want to appear seductive and sexy. Therefore, they rush to extremes and wear mini-skirts, dresses or blouses with a deep neckline, pick up bright outfits. You can not choose for this evening too frank and vulgar things. Otherwise, the young man may think that he has an easily accessible girl in front of him.
Clothing that hides the curves of the figure is also not an option. Yes, and overly strict suits set up more for business communication. You need to choose an outfit that will favorably emphasize the dignity of the figure and hide the flaws.
Dresses made of light, delicate, flowing fabrics are the best choice. They are feminine, moderately seductive and perfect for a romantic evening. It is important to remember that you can choose not only a dress made of a similar fabric, but also a blouse, which can be advised with tight-fitting trousers. You can choose shoes with low heels or ballet flats for this outfit.
If the choice was stopped on a dress, then you should not choose an outfit that is too chic. This choice should be made only if the date will take place in an expensive restaurant. A girl with a beautiful haircut and an expensive dress will look very strange in a youth cafe. Yes, and a young man may be afraid that he does not have enough money to fulfill the desires of such a beauty.
Any outfit can be enhanced with the right accessories. Do not choose a lot of jewelry at once. They should complement the outfit, but not draw all the attention to themselves.
A light scarf draped over the shoulders will look good. Such a detail adds romance to the image. A belt or a brooch is suitable for a plain dress, but you can pick up a beautiful bracelet for a blouse.
A rare girl can leave the house without a handbag. For a date, you should not choose a massive, heavy bag. A clutch to match the clothes is much better. If it does not fit all the necessary things, then you can pick up a medium-sized bag.
First date makeup
Makeup is the completion of the image. Therefore, such an important detail cannot be ignored. And again, you need to remember about naturalness. A large amount of cosmetics is not the best solution.
Makeup for a date. But if a girl in ordinary life is not used to using cosmetics, then you can opt for lip gloss. It looks very nice and has a pleasant aroma.
In makeup, accuracy is important. If there is no skill to paint with mascara, shadows or apply blush, then it is better to leave them for other times. It is important that the mascara is checked, does not spread and does not spoil the appearance of the girl.
Makeup is just an assistant that is designed to emphasize the beauty of a girl. He shouldn't be the main character. Just add and decorate.
Every girl has her own flair. Some have beautiful eyes, some have soft, sensual lips. It is necessary to emphasize this dignity, while hiding the shortcomings.
Makeup should be selected in accordance with the place and time of day chosen for the first date. Evening makeup during the day looks inappropriate and vulgar. Light shadows are suitable for the day.
Makeup is an important detail for a first date.
Evening makeup should be brighter than daytime. But even here you can not cross the line. Emphasis should be placed either on the eyes or on the lips. Otherwise, there is again a risk that the young man will feel that he has invited a girl of easy virtue on a date.
It is important to choose the right foundation for makeup. It should hide skin imperfections. Before applying the tone, it is best to use a primer. Girls, whom nature has endowed with clean and healthy skin, can use a base with reflective particles for makeup. Thanks to her, it seems that the girl glows from the inside. But that's only if the skin is not without flaws, then such a base will only aggravate the matter, make the makeup ugly and sloppy.
The base should be applied not only on the face, but also on the neck and décolleté. This is necessary so that the line where one tone passes into another is not visible.
For the first date, it is better to refuse false eyelashes. You can use them only if it is absolutely impossible to do without them. And in order to make the look attractive and interesting, you can use brown mascara.
Finishing touches on your first date look
The aroma cannot be ignored. He should approach the image that the beauty chose for herself this evening. Perfume is best tested before going on a first date. The fragrance should last for a long time, become part of the image. Floral scents work well for a first date.
Creating your image, you can not miss a single detail. Very often girls forget about nails. But it is precisely such a trifle as a manicure that can ruin everything. It is important that the nails are neat and well-groomed.
Complete your look with fragrance
It is best to put your mobile phone on silent mode. You can warn a friend and parents that an important meeting is coming. The fact that phone calls will be heard throughout the evening will not add romance.
first date hairstyle
The hairstyle should be matched to the outfit. The girl who makes beautiful curls and puts on jeans will look ridiculous. Or pick up a chic dress, beautiful jewelry, and collect her hair in a sloppy ponytail.
Loose hair is a good option. Light curls add romance and tenderness to the image. This hairstyle has been trendy for many years now.
Do not use a lot of foam and hairspray to create hairstyles. Otherwise, it will be scary to touch the hair. They will look sticky and dirty. Yes, and the smell will be appropriate. Not everyone likes the smell of hairspray.
Don't overdo your hair
Don't overdo your hair. You can be a little careless. But don't go over the edge. A chic hairstyle will cause a lot of trouble: throughout the date, the girl will think about how her hairstyle does not deteriorate. And too careless will leave a young man with a bad impression of the girl.
A hairstyle should not only emphasize style, but also not distract from a good time. Hair should not get into the eyes and stick to the lips, the hairstyle should not cause a lot of concern.
Place for a first date
According to etiquette, it is customary for the girl to choose the place for the first date. But these days, few people remember this rule. Therefore, most often a young person independently chooses the time and place. But still, you should not agree with any option.
Very often dating takes place on the Internet. Because the first date becomes a surprise. The place for such a date should be an embankment, a cafe or some kind of institution where there will be a lot of people. Maybe this person is not who he claims to be. Then a large number of people around will become a guarantor of safety.
If the girl is nevertheless offered to choose a place, then you should not choose expensive restaurants and theaters, because the young man may simply not have enough money. Few of the men are ready to talk about their financial insolvency, because a break in relations can be a salvation from the current situation.
Some young people offer to spend the evening in an expensive restaurant on their own. But it is worth remembering that such a place, like a theater, dictates its own rules for appearance. You can’t come to such an institution in your favorite and very comfortable tracksuit or jeans in combination with a T-shirt. You have to choose a dress. But not every dress can fit. Most likely, you will have to go to the store to buy. Not all girls can afford this.
The location of the meeting plays a big role.
If you have a date in a place that requires you to look expensive and luxurious, but there is no money for it, then you can slightly adjust the choice of a young man. For example, by saying that you don’t want to spend the first date in noise. But a walk or rest in some other place, on the contrary, will contribute to acquaintance.
A good place for a first date is the cinema. If a girl and a young man do not yet have common topics for conversation, then a film watched together will easily solve this problem. After the film is completed, it will be possible to discuss the plot and the acting of the actors.
Choose a movie together. Most often, young people make concessions and invite a girl to a romantic comedy. Such films not only cheer up, but are able to create the right atmosphere. After the main characters of the film finally get their well-deserved happiness and merge into a kiss, the audience also wants warmth and love.
Surprisingly, horror films are often chosen for the first date. Sharp moments, intense music create a special atmosphere when you want to feel someone nearby who can protect. It is in horror films that you can casually touch a man, take him by the hand, explaining this with your fear. Men in such cases feel like real heroes, even though there is no real threat.
Most often, a cafe is chosen for a first date. But it is important to remember that a date is different from meeting with girlfriends. On a date, you should not order a three-course lunch or dinner and chew throughout the time. The young man will get the feeling that the girl is not interested in him, and she came to this place only to eat.
When ordering, you do not need to choose expensive dishes. Even if a young man decides to invite to this place, this does not mean that his budget can afford any order. It is better to choose something neutral and inexpensive. Don't order hot. It is better to do with a salad and a drink or a cake and tea.
Scenes in films look very romantic when a girl "steals" food from a man's plate. But only in real life very often such cute flirting can push a man away. It is better to save such games until the relationship reaches a new level. While the girl and the guy are still poorly acquainted, the young man may feel not only indignation, but also irritation.
Behavior on the first date
A carefully crafted image is only part of the success. How the first date will go and whether the second and third will follow it depends on the behavior of the girl. Sometimes character can overshadow even external flaws. Some girls are so open in communication that they outshine everything around. Proof of this are some Hollywood handsome men who fall in love with ugly, but sincere and charming girls.
Some girls believe that the first date must be late for twenty minutes. This will make a man guess and look forward to the appearance of his beloved. But you should not take such advice to all girls without exception. If some men are excited by the expectation and make them even more interested in the girl, then other men will be annoyed and angry. If a man values his time and considers tolerance the courtesy of kings, then a date that started late will be hopelessly ruined.
It is better not to make a man wait for 15-20 minutes. If you cannot avoid being late, then it is better to call your man and warn him.
Sometimes girls try to find that stereotype of behavior that will help impress any man without exception. But, unfortunately, there is no such stereotype. Behavior depends on the girl herself and on her chosen one. Therefore, only naturalness will help to achieve success again. A girl can pretend on the first date and play a different role, but the deception will be revealed if the man wants to continue communication. It is impossible to hide a lie for a long time.
Every girl wants to impress
You don't have to be ashamed to be yourself. If a young man asked for a date, then he saw in the behavior of the girl something that attracted him to her. Even if the first date does not work out, it is only a new experience and an impetus to continue the search. It is much better to find a man who will accept the girl for who she is.
Although there is no single stereotype, there are still a few unspoken rules that will help make the evening enjoyable. First, you need to go on a date with a good mood. The sad person who expects to be entertained on a date will fail. Maybe there are men who are attracted to sad and gloomy ladies, but still most expect communication and close acquaintance from the first date. Nobody wants to be a clown.
Overconfident and overbearing women scare men. This is good in the workplace when you need to competently manage staff, but not on a first date. Such an event becomes an occasion to allow yourself to relax a little. But you should not play the role of a completely defenseless and weak girl. Those ladies who have tried such tactics of behavior on a first date say that young people can use such a girl.
On the first date, you do not need to tell the guy about all your problems. Even if the boss scoffs at work, someone from the family gets sick, or your beloved cat disappears, such a conversation should be left for a friend. She knows a relative, and a cat, and a boss, and therefore she can sympathize. On the first date, the relationship between a man and a woman did not reach the level where one could sincerely feel sorry for each other.
You need to try to maintain a positive attitude throughout the date. If a young man is joking, it is better to support him with laughter. Even if his joke doesn't seem like a masterpiece. This behavior may be from embarrassment or fear. Still, young people are sometimes embarrassed no less than girls.
Too modest or strict girls can push a young man away, undermine his self-confidence. If a man throughout the date tries to find a common theme with a girl who sits and stares blankly at one point, then there will hardly be a second date.
The first date is a great time to get to know each other better. It is believed that only women like to talk. But in fact, men love to tell just as much as women. Because a girl can win by asking questions. You can show the young man interest. And at the same time, learn about it as much as possible. Along the way, you can tell a little about yourself. Just do not turn a date into the evening of your confession and tell your whole life from birth to this evening. There will be time for a detailed story about myself.
When a man talks about himself, he tries to show his best side. Therefore, he will tell the girl such stories that will show him as a real hero. Men, like women, love with their ears. For this reason, he will expect praise for his behavior. A girl can admire the actions of a man. But it is only important to observe the line and not crumble in epithets about the beauty, masculinity and mind of a young man. Otherwise, he may adopt such behavior as trying to suck up and please.
Facial expressions play an important role in a girl's behavior. And this is not only a smile, although it is, of course, very important. You need to smile as often as possible, but not without a reason. Otherwise, the girl will look strange. If a young person tells a sad or touching story, then you need to show sympathy or other feelings caused by the story with facial expressions.
Of course, speech should be complemented by gestures. But just don't gesticulate too much. This applies even to those girls who in ordinary life are used to waving their arms and emotionally telling any stories. Firstly, on a first date, this behavior can frighten a young man and make him think that he has contacted an unbalanced person. Second, it's just not safe. In the heat of the moment, a girl can break or break something. It will not add romance to the evening.
Common mistakes on a first date
The first date is the moment when the main impression is formed about a person. Some girls allow themselves some missteps in clothes, hairstyle, makeup or behavior, arguing that everything will be at the highest level on the second date. But only there may not be a second date if the young man was disappointed on the first.
Girls choose clothes that are too revealing or overdo it with makeup. Such an approach can put the beauty in an unfavorable light and lead the young man to the idea that this girl is in search of an easy, non-committal relationship.
Girls try to be what they are not. Not every actress can carefully play a fictional role, and for girls who are far from theater and cinema, this is completely difficult. At some point, the real character will definitely be noticeable. Perhaps he would have liked the man, conquered him. But the fact that he is being deceived is repulsive.
The girls burst into praise. They praise themselves or their chosen one, but they do it so often and frankly that such behavior causes a negative reaction. The girl wanted to paint her virtues, but instead put herself in a bad light. Or she wanted to praise the man, but instead she created the image of a crazy girl in love who is ready to follow her chosen one to the ends of the world.
Girls talk too much and do not give a man the opportunity to talk about himself, his opinion or his vision of history. Of course, the whole meeting cannot be silent. But you need to give the man the opportunity to speak.
The main thing is not to make mistakes
The girls are trying to find out the size of the man's income. Men do not forgive such an oversight, because after it they begin to think that the girl is not looking for a lover, but simply a person who will be ready to pay all her bills. Perhaps the girl did not mean anything like that. But that's just to explain this to a man will be difficult.
The girl is trying to show her sophistication in novels, and therefore talks about all her relationships and how and for what reason they ended. Such stories cannot serve a good purpose. If a girl wanted to make herself an advertisement, then she will achieve the opposite result. No man will be pleased to feel like one of many, a new pawn in a huge list. Men, like women, dream of being the one and only in the life of a loved one.
Girls, in pursuit of sincerity and naturalness, talk about their shortcomings. Of course, the ideal person has not yet been created, everyone has their shortcomings. But they should not be the topic of conversation on a first date. A young person may have the feeling that there are too many of them. Or that they are so obvious that it is impossible to hide them, so the girl decided to tell about them herself. It would be better if a man finds out about them later and on his own. Then they will not be so painfully perceived.
At the end of the date, the girl independently invites the young man to the second one or asks when the new meeting will be. Although these days women have received a special share of independence and in some matters not only caught up with men, but also outperformed them, men are used to the fact that they still make a second date. In addition, a young man may think that the girl is already in love with him. In most cases, the young lady does not want the guy to have such an opinion about her.
Some girls are so shy that they cannot look their chosen one in the eye. Therefore, they hide their eyes, consider the environment, their manicure or outfit. A young person can interpret such behavior in his own way. For example, he may decide that the girl did not like him, because she does not want to look at him. But it's also not worth watching.
Should you kiss on the first date?
The first date differs from all other meetings with young people in that this evening you can show the level of your sympathy. Some psychologists believe that girls should never show their interest in a man on a first date. You can only demonstrate a small level of interest, but nothing more. Otherwise, in their opinion, the young man will assume that he has an accessible girl in front of him.
Sex after the first date
The question of sex after a first date is even more controversial than the question of kissing. Everyone should decide this question on their own, because the answer depends on the situation.
Sex on the first date does not form the basis for a long and happy relationship. Most often, after a joint night, the relationship ends. If the intimacy occurred on the first date, then in most cases there is no reason to appoint a second.
Many men regard themselves as hunters. For hunters, it is not so much the prey that is important, but the process of the hunt itself. And the more difficult it is to get the desired goal, the more it is valued. Men complain that girls don't let them show their talents these days. Girls like to charm their chosen ones. But men also want to go the way when he turns from a handsome stranger into the main man in life. But instead of long courtship, the girl immediately invites her to her place or asks for a night with a young man. Game over.
If the purpose of the date was sex, and not a long-term relationship, then you can not deny yourself. But you just need to take care of contraceptives in advance.
Some girls can't fight their desire on the first date. But at the same time, they don't want to appear too accessible. They want to continue the relationship, but at the same time not restrain themselves. In this case, you can play one amusing game. The girl must make the man himself want intimacy and dream about her as the most desired event in life. At this time, the girl turns into an innocent prude, who usually does not allow herself this, but this man impressed her so much that she is not able to restrain herself.
Do not exclude sex after the first date
It is worth adhering to some rules that exist for sex on a first date. First, you need to take care of the place. It is best to choose a hotel room. Neutral territory will allow you not to feel constrained. Yes, and at home, a man can afford a little more and hurt the girl.
Although sex happens with an almost unfamiliar man, you still need to take care that your partner is pleased. And for this you do not need to be shy about talking about your desires. Maybe a man wants to try the same thing as a girl. But men just don’t know how to read minds, so they may be embarrassed to offer.
In no case should you forget about contraceptives. Random relationships can cause a large number of undesirable consequences. You need to think about this in advance.
After intimacy, many couples don't know what to talk about. They feel awkward, because they tend to quickly turn away from each other and fall asleep or leave. In the event that there is a desire to continue the relationship, you need to take the initiative into your own hands.
A good way out of an awkward situation is a foam bath. Relaxing in warm water will allow you to relax and talk. After intimacy, a man and a woman can touch on topics that they would have been embarrassed to talk about a few hours ago. They got closer. But at the same time, not yet close lovers or friends. Therefore, it is worth keeping stories that can discredit or make a young man think badly about a girl.
A good wine or champagne will help you relax and talk without embarrassment. Fruit will be a great addition to the drink.
After sex, you need to tell the man how good it was. Men, like women, love compliments. And if they are sincere, then this is especially nice. You can choose a few moments that you especially liked and highlight them.
Sometimes a man and a woman continue their relationship even after having sex on the first date. They are so good with each other that they continue and continue to meet. And sometimes it even leads to marriage. But such cases are very, very rare.
Most often, men insist on sex. But their hints or even open offers do not always mean that they want such a continuation of the date. In some cases, this is just a test of how available a woman is. If a girl simply agrees to intimacy with an almost unfamiliar man, then most of the opposite sex will refuse to continue the relationship. According to polls of sociologists, not only conservatives and bigots do this, but even liberated men. They believe that if a woman so simply agreed to intimacy with him, then she can just as easily agree with another man.
More often than not, not having sex on the first date will not be a reason to end the relationship. But if this did happen, is it worth worrying about? It's not scary to lose a man who only needed sex. After all, it became possible to find someone who wants a serious relationship.
After the first date
Not every first date ends with intimacy. And that means reading some tips on how to end a date the right way.
It usually ends with a short walk, during which the conversation and stories continue. If the date ends in the dark, then there is a great opportunity to take a walk with a young man in the light of the lights of a big city. This will only contribute to rapprochement and conversations on exciting topics.
It is customary for a young man to see his girlfriend off after a date. Before parting, you need to thank the young man and report that you liked the date.
Although it is difficult, but you need to try to overcome your fear of a first date with a young man. Fear is the main enemy, because of which girls make one mistake after another. You need to convince yourself that if something goes wrong on a date, then this is not a disaster. Life provides many opportunities. And if something didn’t work out, then it’s just not the right person.
A date is a way to get to know each other better and get as many positive emotions as possible. Positivity always helps to find happiness.
Olga Kuznetsova
A psychologist and linguist by training, she currently teaches languages. And he is looking for his soul mate.
Once I was in a relationship with a wonderful man and was happy. And then everything collapsed. Not immediately, of course, but more on that some other time. Of course, I was worried. And for quite a long time. And then I decided it was time to create a new relationship. And about a month ago I registered on a dating site.
There was a time when I listened distantly about my friends' endless failed attempts to "find something decent there." They often complained that their first dates with "amazing men" ended up being their last. Therefore, starting this stage, I tried to foresee, if not everything, then a lot. And to my surprise, every time everything went well!
1. Be real
Remember ads? A girl comes on a date and accidentally hears a young man waiting for her say to someone on the phone: “No, I haven’t found it yet. After all, I'm looking for the real one! The girl quickly changes her appearance, becomes "real" and makes an excellent impression on the young man. Who would have thought that everything in life is exactly like that?
From personal experience
Every time I was going to a meeting, I tried, let's say, not to gather. Already on the first date, I realized how right I was! I was met by a slightly immersed in work problems man in a sweater and jeans. It would be nice if I came in an evening dress or in a sexy blouse with a luxurious neckline!
It's amazing, but what I chose from my entire wardrobe absolutely corresponded to the place, time, my interlocutor, and most importantly -. Which significantly influenced the course of the entire meeting, because it allowed us to immediately be on the same wavelength. After all, we both came in what we feel comfortable walking, sitting, communicating. And it was so natural! In general, I recommend.
Although, perhaps your favorite and most comfortable outfit is just a sexy blouse? Well then, go ahead!
But remember: the “take me now” war paint and erotic outfit are more suitable for searching for dubious adventures, and not for your soulmate.
You may ask: what about the advice that a woman should first of all be attractive? Yes that's right. The question is: who do you want to attract?
For your potential husband, most likely, your femininity and inner beauty, which modern men notice perfectly at first sight, will be attractive. And attraction at the level of the basic instinct will leave your relationship at this level and, most likely, forever.
2. Smile Sincerely
The smile of the Mona Lisa will not suit us. Sometimes men fall into a strange stupor from such "female tricks" with a claim to the notorious mystery. A Hollywood smile with all 32 teeth will not suit us either. Psychologists have long explained why.
The only requirement for your smile: it must be sincere. You ask, how can you smile at a stranger, and even sincerely? Just think about how sincere you are now! You are sincerely glad that you came to the meeting, and here he is, already waiting for you, and you are really happy to see him, aren't you?
And I’ll tell you one more secret: there is nothing worse than a polite smile on a first date. Think for yourself, what can she say to your chosen one? Personally, I see something like this interpretation: “Well, it’s very nice, of course, that you came, but I’m so polite, and that’s why I smile at you so politely. I'm sure you already liked me, because I'm so polite.
From personal experience
To successfully use this technique, it is enough to create a special high mood inside yourself, which I like to call "quiet delight." Why is it quiet? And why the excitement? On the one hand, you do not gush with uncontrollable emotions, on the other hand, you do not exhaust your interlocutor with disturbing thoughts about your inner trouble. That is, we are looking for a golden mean.
If your delight is quiet, then it can be contained, but it is still present. He inevitably declares himself from time to time and first of all breaks through in yours, in a smile. And your smile is really joyful and sincere. Because at this moment you let your inner sun out.
A sincere smile disarms and disposes to itself in a special way. It forms a space of trust in which your interlocutor falls.
Using only this one technique, you will go most of the way towards each other in one date.
3. Keep it simple
Take things lightly. Experience shows that a person who is too fixated on the result, the chances of achieving it are sharply reduced. It's inexplicable, but it's a fact. Although, perhaps, the whole thing is in excessive tension. She doesn't decorate. And our task is to present ourselves in such a way that a person wants to see you again. Or even more than once!
It is also important not to try to show only your best sides. This will allow you to see the different reactions of your potential partner and see if he will be able to cope with your small shortcomings in the future.
Surprisingly, men also react positively to such openness. They also have something that they want to hide, there is a fear of spoiling. Realizing that you allow yourself not to be perfect, they themselves relax a little. And we remember that the main thing is to create an atmosphere of trust and comfort.
From personal experience
Basically, I tried to be the same as in life, to behave as usual, including allowing me to be imperfect. And this gave us the opportunity to immediately get to a different level of communication than the standard scraping with mutual bows.
For example, when I was 15 minutes late, I simply apologized and explained the reason without wringing my hands. And then she sincerely rejoiced at the calmness and loyalty of her interlocutor. And she was so happy that he noticed this joy. And she mentally gave herself a plus, seeing how he inwardly drew himself up from the feeling of his generosity. And then he told me that this happens to him, and finally relaxed. By the end of our communication, we already knew that both were imperfect. And if you look closely, it is this knowledge that creates a feeling of greater closeness.
Men love girls with whom it is easy to breathe, with whom you don’t have to build anything out of yourself, follow your every word, gesture, in other words - strain. Don't stress men out on the first date. After all, if they were in search, it means that someone before you already strained them very much!
4. Don't be afraid to ask
But ask about what is really important or interesting to you. Psychologists say that people love to talk about themselves. And it's a sin not to use it! Seeing your genuine interest, a man cheers up and becomes more calm.
Plus, while he's talking, you can look into his eyes for a long time, putting any feeling you want into him. Your look can be alluring, thoughtful, mysterious or perky, intriguing, with a twinkle! But most importantly, he must be open and friendly. For me personally, the last option was enough.
It is also on the first date that it stands, which will pave the way for your future relationship. Do not be afraid to discuss with the interlocutor the purpose of acquaintance, ask him what he expects from communication.
Tell us about yourself too. And here you are not talking about what you expect from the person himself or from the relationship in general: “You should be (hereinafter the list of 48 items) and then I'll marry you!" Talk about what attracts you to the prospect of continuing to communicate with him. If it's hard to tell a potential partner about it, tell it to yourself. Let a clear picture form in your head. By the way, this will help you keep the dialogue in the right direction.
From personal experience
Openness and mutual interest allowed us to talk enthusiastically throughout the meeting. No forced pauses, no awkward silences, no need to think hard about what else to ask.
And for difficult cases, there is one little secret, which I call the “hook loop”. Suppose you asked a question and received a detailed answer. And you notice that your interlocutor is frantically looking in the back streets of his own brain for what to ask you now. Help him out! Start talking about yourself by answering the same question that was asked of him. He will have time to silently admire you (I personally always say smiling). And there will be time to figure out what to talk about later.
We really love it when others are interested in us, our life, our thoughts. Deliver this joy to your potential partner!
Especially if you see that your questions do not confuse him and do not make him want to hide somewhere. And at the same time, you can find out for yourself everything that seems important to you.
5. Believe in yourself
This rule should become an axiom for you. Self-love, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are the main components of your future success. And not just on the first date. These qualities form your inner core of a person who is stable in life. And they are the basis of your charisma and attractiveness. If you are the happy owner of this magnificent combination, feel free to set a date. The date will be successful!
And in conclusion, I would like to say: read articles, study trends, ask for advice, look for information. But first, listen to yourself! Your heart, your intuition will never let you down.
Be simple, real, sincere, ask, smile, believe in yourself!
In the exciting moments of the first date, you want everything to go perfectly. Therefore, it is so important not to make a mistake with the choice of entertainment and think it over before you go to meet your destiny.
To have a successful first date, you need to not only take care of your appearance, but also choose the intended meeting place, think over entertainment and remember a couple of topics for conversation. And, of course, not to make mistakes typical for such a situation - not to make the first date with you the last.
How to avoid a bad date
First mistake planning a date - to figure out whether they like it or not, based only on their own preferences. Be sure to consider the tastes of the second half. Try to learn more about them from conversations or correspondence: sooner or later, anyone tells in between times what is interesting to him and how he would like to spend time. Be careful, and you will not get into a mess by bringing a person with a fear of heights to the rides, and to the exhibition of the Impressionists - a tourist lover who is not interested in painting, who would be more than happy to take you to a picnic.
Second mistake- on the contrary, in everything to adapt to your partner. If your chosen one or chosen one skates well, and you last wore out in the 9th grade, you will feel awkward and constrained at the rink. Such dates are good already in the process of a relationship, when you know each other.
But now, the meeting place can no longer be changed, you are dressed and dressed up, your heart is beating in your chest, and you have in store an exciting conversation on a topic that is interesting to both of you. Where are you going?
10 ways to have an unforgettable first date
1. Walk. Just not banal, to the main sights of the city, and not boring, along ordinary streets. You can think over a route in advance related to what is interesting for the girl you invited, or for a young man if you are a girl and are thinking about a date. Take care also about the "lunch break" on a date - a long walk without the opportunity to eat can tire both you and the person going on a date with you. And prepare a fallback in case of force majeure - a walk in the rain is not always romantic.
2. Sports date. The advantage of such a date is that you will spend time actively, working “in a team”, and this is not only remembered, but also brings people together. But it is important to know your partner well and not make a mistake with the choice. The options themselves are not limited - a couples dance pass, horseback riding, match tickets, rollerblading or cycling, if you are sure that this is interesting not only for you, but also for your partner.
Important: Not all sports may be suitable for health reasons.
3. Extreme date. Suitable for those who like to tickle their nerves and do not hide it. Bungee jumping, a photo session in a terrarium, climbing mountains, flying in a hot air balloon, kayaking - all this will definitely be remembered for a long time.
Important: first, try to unobtrusively find out about the fears of the one you invite (phobias are different), so that instead of an unforgettable date, you don’t scare the unlucky extremal.
4. Restaurant. This option seems rather banal in itself, but you can furnish it unusually, taking into account the characteristics of your partner. For example, if a girl mentioned that no one had ever taken her to restaurants, you will pleasantly surprise her.
5. Cafe. A first date in a coffee shop is also pretty predictable, but things get a lot more interesting if your city has a large selection of different cafes. You can find extravagant options - for example, lunch in the dark or coffee in the company of cats.
Important: fear of the dark or allergy to cats will negate all the advantages of your idea. When choosing an unusual cafe, consider the individual characteristics of the partner.
6. Date at the cinema. Knowing what movies your partner likes, you can spend a very successful and not at all banal date in the cinema. Study your partner's preferences, so as not to lead a classic lover to art chaos about the complexities of bohemian life, I'm a comedy lover to a thriller with bloody scenes.
7. Date on the roof. Suitable for romantic natures, and lovers of the unusual, and fans of extreme sports.
Important: find a suitable roof.
8. Date in the park. You have a lot of room for maneuver. In summer it can be a picnic, in winter it can be a beautiful photo shoot (just don't freeze your partner or partner in the cold). Thrill-seekers can go to the amusement park, and romantics can look into the closed pavilions of flowers.
9. Date-competition. Suitable for gambling natures.
Important: follow the reaction of the second half, what you need right now - decisively beat her in billiards or pretend that you have been beaten, but on the second date you will certainly win back!
10. Date at your place. Why not? But it is also better to make it unforgettable. Take care that you do not have to painfully remain silent opposite each other, washing down the silence with not very good wine.
Ideally, you can combine several options - take a walk and go to the rooftop, go to a salsa class and continue the evening in a coffee shop.
Finally, remember one more rule of a good date. It shouldn't take too long! Otherwise, they will get tired of you, or you will get bored, and this is noticeable and creates an impression that you do not need at all. If the person next to you starts to look around, it's time to change the "entertainment program". It is better to disperse on a pleasant note of intrigue and fullness of emotions - unless, of course, the first date turns into something more on mutual initiative.
We wish you a pleasant time and find your love. Use tips for great dates and don't forget to press the buttons and