How to teach your man to be more affectionate, attentive and romantic. Teaching your husband to be more affectionate and attentive: the science of tenderness step by step

I found this article online. Is it really written by a man? What do you think about this? How do you like the article in general?

How to tame a man

I can understand, and I am quite calm about when a man and a woman part because of different life values, principles and interests. After all, too different values can be difficult to combine. But part of the conflicts and breaks occur because of the inability of women to "steer" men, and the second part - because of male irresponsibility and unwillingness to grow up. We will talk about the second part a little later, in other issues and articles, today we will discuss the psychology of men, similar to the psychology of dogs. Let's talk about how we, men, will like it and how to keep it. Men are very easy to manage, and basic knowledge and skills can be mastered within a month, well, a maximum of two.

Often my wife asks me about male logic and male psychology, which she does not always understand.

How to please a man, how to keep him, and how to make a man fall in love with you?

How to ask a man about what a woman wants, and most importantly, how to ask and demand so that he does it, and does it with pleasure?

How to make sure that a man does not look around, at least in the presence of a woman?

How to tame a man and how to marry a girl?

Naturally, I am an “interested person” and I try to answer in more detail how a man needs to be controlled, in a particular case, by myself.

Recently, my beloved and I went to a cafe, and she asked:

What are you, men? How do you think and how best to communicate with you? How to please a man? And, most importantly, what should be done, and what should not be done, so that a man appreciates and respects you?

Then I said:

Yes, men are generally simple, and in many ways similar to dogs. - Then he gave her a few comparisons. She laughed for a long time, and then asked:

Why haven't you written an article about it yet?

And so every day, for many weeks, she came up and asked:

Did you write? Have you already written an article about how men are like dogs? You wrote?

Wrote, wrote...

1. Almost all dogs and men are the same in that they love affection and attention. They love to be stroked, “pulled behind the ear”, praised.

Dogs, when their owner comes, run out to meet him, wag their tail, and climb to be stroked. Or, when one of the owners is seen on the street, with joyful barking and wild wagging of the tail, they rush to him with all their dog joy, just to jump on light trousers with their shaggy, heavy paws and lick the owner from head to toe, while receiving a portion of affection and attention. Almost all dogs and men are like that. There are, of course, distrustful even to the owners of the dog (again, you need to understand “why”) and to the wives of men, but there are few of them. A man came home, it happens that he brought booty to his wife in the form of food, salary, bride price, some gifts, boasting of his real, and, sometimes, “slightly” embellished exploits. After that, of course, he really looks forward to being stroked on the head, hugged, told how they admire him. If a woman smiles at a man, hugs him, rejoices at what he brought, listens to his boasting, then a third of family problems can already be considered resolved.

This is not at all an obvious rule of communication with men, and according to my observations, women, especially young ones, do not always meet and hug a man with a smile when he comes home. And, most importantly, not at all because he is offended by him, but because he does not understand how important this is!

Well, I did not meet him every day, but every other day, what is important in this? Well, I didn’t hug you today, I’ll hug you tomorrow, what’s important here?

Important, very important. Periodically I observe the same situation. The dog ran away from the owner, and it's time for the owner to go home. He starts chasing the dog. Finally, he caught her, or the dog itself approached the owner. What do different people do next? A not very wise owner will break loose on the dog, start beating it, scolding it. After all, he is late, and the dog does not want to go home. Next time he will run after the dog twice as long. A wise owner will pet the dog, maybe even give something tasty, after she ran up to him. The next time he only calls her, and the dog is already running towards him.

How simple in theory, how rarely this rule is consistently observed.

2. Dogs love to follow doable and understandable commands. Men love to fulfill feasible and understandable requests for their beloved.

Dogs expect commands from their owners, and the commands must be doable for the dog and easy to understand. Of course, with prolonged training, the dog understands the owner perfectly. But, in the beginning, you need to give simple and easy-to-follow instructions for the dog.

A man also likes to do something for a woman. But for this it is desirable that:

First: her requests were feasible by a specific man without undue stress, so that they were understandable to him.

Second: you need to say them out loud repeatedly, if so, 500 - 700, and not think that the man will guess to do something himself.

An example of both points: no need to ask your boxer friend to help with higher mathematics, and mathematics to fill the face of a bored, annoying neighbor. This is usually understandable. When it comes to not so obvious things, then a mistake on a mistake. For example, sometimes it is useless for a man to demand that he do home repairs himself if he does not know how and quietly hates it. It is better to direct his energy to earning extra money for repairs. Another mistake is when a woman expects a man to listen and "just chat with her", like her friend, about problems. Do not expect from a man, as from a girlfriend, that after talking about his problem, he will sympathize with you, and will not give you advice with real recommendations on “how to fix the situation.” Because he is a man, he has such a nature, he gives advice, he loves to do it, but he can talk just like that, heart to heart, if you just discuss something with him. If you complain, then resign yourself to the fact that you will hear a question with specific suggestions on how to help you and a bunch of recommendations to boot? In general, study the psychology of men, at least a little.

Well, just a female hit. I always wonder where women are taught to think that men themselves will guess what is important for a woman? Well, he won't guess, he won't guess. Well, he will not understand on his own that a “broom” is important for a woman, unsuitable even for sweeping the floor, which she calls a bouquet of flowers. If, of course, you tell a man that flowers are very important to you, then gradually he will begin to give them. According to my wife, it takes about 714 repetitions for a man to remember something and start doing what a woman wants him to do. Again, if she censors this regularly, persistently, but at the same time in a calm voice, but without screaming, tantrums and manipulation. Do not think that men do not understand this, therefore, there are women whom their husbands, as they say, wear in their arms, and there are those who cannot achieve anything from a normal man. Start respecting yourself and your needs, then you will be able to achieve their fulfillment from us.

Of the most frequent things that a man “should guess”, but does not guess:

He must guess to give a woman flowers,

Think of marrying her

Talking and wooing her after he got her

Help her with household chores

Protect from his parents

Take more care of your hygiene, cleanliness in the house, etc.

In general, fuck all this from us, do not be shy. Talk about it, censor it calmly and confidently, when a man understands what is important to you, he will do it with pleasure. In the first years of my life together, I could not understand why all this hype around flowers, and now I am happy to give flowers to my wife, she is so happy! How can I now deprive myself of the pleasure of being a hero and a breadwinner, hmm, you can’t wait.

In general, study male logic and how to tame a man, and your man himself will not understand how he will start caring for you more, and then pampering you.

3. Dogs love all kinds of toys, especially for which they can run and hunt, etc. Men also like to play all sorts of games and toys for which, or with which, you can run and hunt.

Many men's games for women are: "Well, just real stupid!". Indeed, in many of them, men hurt each other very much (boxing, hockey), or do something that can be done much easier and cheaper, fishing, for example. Or they do such "meaningless" things as lifting the barbell back and forth, or throwing their arms and legs forward with a cry of "yayayay". - I understand it all. However, I ask you to be gentler with men.

Without games, dogs and men quickly grow old, become dumb, become very boring, fat and lose interest in life and in their only woman. Therefore, no need to interfere with men's games. It is better if a woman encourages them. Well, I'm not talking about if she is interested in them and even slightly involved in them. Such a woman immediately becomes several points higher than other women. This is just the answer to my wife’s question “How to make a man fall in love with you and marry him?” Throw a stick a couple of times on the weekend so that the dog can bring it back, ask about your partner's car, listen carefully and memorize the name of the "innards of the car" - and you are out of competition. My wife is interested and understands, like me, investments, she can listen to me for hours, and often asks questions to which I myself do not always know the answer, or may notice something that I did not see. She is interested in what is interesting to me, which means she is interested in me - and, for this reason alone, she is out of competition.

Of course, if possible, games that are not as stupid from a woman's point of view as others should be encouraged. For example, encourage playing football, business, investing, science rather than computer games, watching football on TV with a bottle of beer, and hanging out in the yard with friends until night.

4. The dog loves to lie down in his kennel, and lie down. And they do not like a leash, especially a short one. Give your partner free time and personal space.

The dog cannot run continuously, it needs periodic rest. Likewise, a man cannot work, play or even communicate with his only and beloved woman all the time. He needs to be alone. Lie down on the sofa, etc. Give yourself and him the opportunity to be alone, and after a while he will come running to you bored, joyful and satisfied.

Dogs don't like leashes, especially short ones. And if they are not released at all without a leash (chain dogs), then they become overly vicious, and they become underdeveloped intellect. However, there are many dogs that walk without a leash, and at the slightest call of the owner, they happily run to him.

So are men. They do not like it when women put a leash on them, especially a short one. Where did you go, where was you, where did you spend the ruble, why did you say this, say this, don’t say that, if such questions and instructions go on continuously, then you want to run away from the leash.

However, there are men, or rather their women, to whom men gladly return and ask themselves how to help, etc. This is the position women should aspire to. How to do this is the subject of a separate article.

5. The dog loves bones and other delicious foods.

Everything seems to be clear here, but a few comments. Even if everyone in your family agrees that the woman mostly cooks, this does not mean that the man does nothing. My wife cooks herself, but she f*cks me to go to the store to buy groceries, cut and peel vegetables, and wash dishes. Involve a man more actively in cooking, and do not complain.

And the second remark, do not overfeed the dog, that is, the man. The sooner you pay attention to this, the better and much easier. Losing 20 extra pounds is a hundred times harder than not gaining weight at all.

6. The most important thing is that if dogs are not brought up, they can become completely obedient, and climb onto the sofa with dirty paws, grab food from the table, bite their owners and their children, etc.

Almost everyone knows that puppies, especially large and fighting dogs, must be severely beaten even for the hint of trying to bite or growl at the owner or family members. Please note that not even for a light bite, but simply for growling at the owner, it is necessary to beat the dog. If this is not done, then she may

Lightly bite you. And then a little more
then the child happens
it is impossible to do anything, and all that remains is to put the dog to sleep, which, with a different upbringing, would bring only joy to the owner.

So it is with men, especially with strong and aggressive ones. Even a hint of disrespect for a woman should never go unnoticed. Today you ignored a slight hint of disrespect, “swallowed it and pretended that it would resolve itself”, tomorrow it may manifest itself in a greater form. And then it remains only to break up with a man who, with a different treatment, would carry you in his arms all his life together. And, of course, the stronger the male character, and the less he was brought up in childhood, the more attention should be paid to this. If you do not pull a man in this matter, then think about whether you can live happily with him. Maybe it's better to give it to another woman, and take a less aggressive and strong man for yourself.

How many girls dream that men become attached to them. And for this, many choose the only available weapon - to be themselves. Naturalness, of course, is a wonderful feature, but there are many tricks on how to disguise unpleasant traits of your character. And now we will tell you in detail how to tame a man.

Whatever men say about gender equality and the desire to see a strong chosen one nearby, they love to save and care. Source: Flickr (Alexey_Tsyganov)

Which girls easily conquer men

An important condition is to have your own personal life. Plunging headlong into someone else's, the girl becomes depersonalized, becomes obsessive. A passionate and working woman will command respect. If you talk about something with a passion, even if the topic is fashion or travel, a man will appreciate it. He must understand that when parting, you will always find something to do and will not shed tears at night. This shows that a woman is not affectionate and does not put a man above herself.

Important! Friends play a big role. It is useful to leave a man from time to time and have fun with friends.

A woman without unnecessary expectations and dreams, who looks at things soberly and does not expect anything beyond from a man, enjoys every little surprise. The golden rule works - the less you wait, the more you get. And men see this when, for example, in the eyes of a girl at the first meeting, the desire to get married and give birth to three children is reflected. Thus, the girl will subconsciously wait for certain events, which will not allow the man to show his imagination.

When choosing a dinner, you can do harm and insist on your favorite restaurant, but in global matters you need to give in to the male mind. If you don’t like his decisions, you can gently and unobtrusively change them.

Advice! With the decision of a man on an important issue, you must agree. In extreme cases, you will have to look for a compromise, but you can not put ultimatums.

An interesting feature of the ideal female character, according to many men, is the reluctance to throw a tantrum at the moment when it is really fair. The absence of screams for wrongdoing surprises men so much that a woman immediately goes into the category of unpredictable, interesting and outstanding. And such a lady is always more likely to tame a guy.

Important! The ideal girl is always feminine.

Whatever men say about gender equality and the desire to see a strong chosen one nearby, they love to save and care. A steel lady in straight trousers may and will attract attention, but will not tame a man. He will feel unnecessary with her, and it is contraindicated for a man to doubt himself.

The feminine lady is strong enough morally, but sometimes she needs help. She speaks in a calm voice and laughs pleasantly. Such a girl gets along with the guy's parents and his friends, never rude to anyone, does not condemn or discuss. She would rather give a man the opportunity to intercede for her than go on the rampage herself.

The image of the "fatal" lady

The appearance of a girl must always be impeccable. This does not mean that you need to visit the solarium, nail salon and hairdresser weekly. Just be neat and clean. Since the concept of beauty is subjective, elementary hygiene will help.

Advice! Any girl looks attractive if she takes a shower every day and keeps her nails in order.

Light dresses, knitted sweaters, medium-heeled shoes should be added to the wardrobe. A very important detail is perfume. An unusual pleasant smell is very well remembered and the next time you meet a man will definitely remember you. It is advisable to leave the hair loose, not cut off above the shoulder. Light curls or neat hairstyles collected at the back of the head will do. From accessories you need to choose small handbags of a clear cut (not baggy). Decorations should not be flashy. Makeup is always light, not defiant - the best way to tame a guy.

What tactics to choose

Men definitely appreciate good manners. They are repelled by grumpiness, irritability, hypocrisy and gossip. Even if someone hurts you on the street, it is better to generously forgive. In this situation, most likely a man will rush to protect you and will respect you even more. If you shout at the culprit, then your companion will think that you are rude.

You can not focus on the shortcomings of a man, wanting to correct them in this way. Women's tactics are always invisible and unobtrusive. You should not try to show yourself smarter than a guy, even if it really is. It is better to leave him the leadership in his favorite area and demonstrate his knowledge on another topic. So, if you are both financiers, then let him “teach” you something, and then show off your knowledge of a related topic.

It is interesting! Men prefer those women who, in addition to the main needs, can also satisfy those that are beyond the power of other ladies. This is one of the best ways to understand how to tame a husband.

As a rule, a man will never leave a woman with whom he gets everything he needs. However, it is almost impossible to give everything. This also harms relationships, because then we begin to desire something else. There should be no indulgence, but the desire to give what most women cannot give will help a lot in taming a man.

Attracting a man is not an easy task. It is much more difficult to keep it, and even more difficult to tame it once and for all. Source: Flickr (Adam_Patrick_Murray)

How to take care of your inner beauty

Therefore, you need to make sure that a smart man has something to talk about with you. To do this, you need to read, meet interesting people, study. The rich inner world captivates the guys and makes them want to meet. This is how the process of taming happens.

It is not necessary to know everything, there is enough knowledge in your field, hobbies and awareness of a man’s hobbies. It is important for a woman to have a stable system of values and principles. “I don’t know what I want” is not coquetry, but uncertainty. You need to respect yourself and not go against your own rules. If you believe that sex is inappropriate on a first date, then by stepping over yourself, you will feel disgusted with your act and thereby ruin the relationship.

Show that his wants and needs mean a lot to you. Make surprises, unexpected dates, give gifts. The idea that a man should pursue a woman is partly a stereotype. It is true, but without reciprocal attention, a man will think that he is simply unimportant.
Don't make fun of him. Values, ideas and attitudes are important components of every person. And everyone has their own. Even if he firmly believes in the impossibility of sex before marriage, respect this. Contradictory views can be corrected, but not all thoughts can be changed. It will simply change the essence of a person. And by mocking any, even the most bizarre idea, you devalue the very personality of a man.
Give compliments. Another stereotype that women should not praise men has long been worn out. Everyone loves praise, and men even more so. Celebrate his merits, but do not overpraise, and everything will be fine.
Don't impose. Perhaps one of the main rules that many break. Let the man be the lead player. Let him at least think so.
Remove criticism. Modern women know how to change Windows and fix a faucet, so they don't need help. Even if they allow a man to fix something, they immediately jump in with advice, which in fact turns out to be criticism. Don't give him a reason to doubt yourself.
Do not Cry. This does not apply to some sad events or days when excessive fatigue takes over. It is enough not to throw tearful tantrums every day and, if possible, give positive.
Be sincere. It is important for men to trust. To give the opportunity to feel completely safe next to you is how to tame a guy seriously and for a long time.

Attracting a man is not an easy task. It is much more difficult to keep it, and even more difficult to tame it once and for all. We hope these tips will help you attract attention and lure a man without compromising your personality.

GOOD PREPARATION IS HALF THE JOB

“Well, here it is again!” You sigh wearily. But wait, wait, we'll explain! Firstly, the female psyche is more flexible than the male one. This means that it will be easier for you to take on the additional role of a sex teacher. Secondly, it is about your own safety, and in the literal sense. “For girls, the line between“ very pleasant ”and“ unbearably painful ”is rather thin,” explains Alexander Roitman, a psychologist, psychotherapist and sexologist, “so you have every right to control the actions of a partner. Be direct about everything you feel.”

And here is the first piece of advice: be frank about all your desires and feelings. Unexpected, right? Rubbish, no thanks! Your appeal should sound soft, but at the same time specific, without ambiguity, because men do not understand hints. And here a problem arises: medical terms in bed sound formal and cardboard, mat - rude and vulgar. How to be? Come up with your own, intimate language peculiar only to your couple. Pick up cute or funny words for everything that is involved in sex, and never take them out of the relationship, so as not to devalue. Yes, at first it will be funny to pronounce them, but then you get used to it.

TRUST AND VERIFY

But stating a desire out loud does not necessarily mean being heard. In order for the seeds of enlightenment not to wither, they must fall on fertile soil. In other words, we cannot do without trust in each other. “Having said:“ Be gentle with me ”, you will tune in to the right wave even a man with whom you are not yet familiar,” says Alexander
Roitman. “But still, for the realization of most desires, intimacy is needed, which appears within six months of a relationship, and very bold ones may take two to three years.” How to understand that you have reached the desired state? You will feel: your partner will not judge you, no matter how strange the proposal you make. And you yourself will not think badly of him because of his frivolous fantasy. Do not want to wait six months to liberate yourself and your loved one? There is another way to relieve the awkwardness. “Sex is a game, and if your relationship in bed is built on it, you are more likely to teach a man to give pleasure,” says Roitman. “Flirting, metaphors, humor all help to break down the barrier that makes it difficult for you to talk about desires.” If you want to know more, read the book Sex in Human Love. It was written by Eric Berne, an expert on the games that people are passionate about.

Popular

A friendly atmosphere will also play into the hands when you give a man valuable indications for the future. “After sex, tell me how good it was for you, and offer to supplement the program with a couple of new “numbers” next time,” says Valeria Aginskaya. - Use the phrases “I want” and “I like”, avoid negative language and complete the criticism with another praise. For example: “I am very lucky to meet such an understanding partner as you.” In this case, your words will not be perceived as a claim.

CLOSE TO THE BUSINESS

It's not that hard to talk about your desires directly, right? Not?! Then body language will come to the rescue. A sex linguistics lesson is given by Valeria Aginskaya: “If you like what is happening now, start breathing more often. Step back a little, and your partner will non-verbally understand that they are doing something wrong. The parted hips and your movements towards you will show that you are close to orgasm. Do you want a young man to caress your nipples? Assume a cowgirl position, tilt your chest to his face, and he will reach for her purely instinctively. Without further ado, even such painful problems as the lack of foreplay can be solved. “You’ll have to set an example,” the sexologist advises, “say, try a body massage. Stimulate your lover's erogenous zones with your chest and belly, including your feet and head, but don't touch your penis or let your genitals be touched. Excitation is guaranteed for both of you, and the sex can be so good that the next time the partner wants to do something like that. But what you can try if a man is not prone to oral sex. During a blowjob, arrange so that he sees you in all its glory and his tongue is
near the strategically important zone. Show how excited you are with your hips. Let the man feel that you are enjoying the process, and not serving a labor service. So you will break the stereotype entrenched in his mind: "Cunnilingus as gratitude for a blowjob or as a way to bring a woman to orgasm." But what if the beloved does not allow you to touch his penis with your mouth (do you know such a person? Send him to our museum!)? Perhaps the partner is afraid that you will be unpleasant, and does not want to humiliate. And if this is not related to religious or cultural attitudes, you can convince him by showing him sincere pleasure from blowjob.

To attract a guy, many people think, is a simple matter, it is much more difficult to arouse his affection and love. And although there are no guarantees in this matter, psychological advice will help to tame a man and create the relationship of your dreams.

Good people get used to it quickly

A romance that has begun can end rather quickly, but it can also smoothly turn into a serious relationship and even marriage if your young man feels comfortable around you. If you are ready to provide him with care, good mood and pleasures based on something other than sex, consider that the job is done - he is yours.

Men's psychology is not as complex as women's, and yet it cannot be called primitive. We reproach the guys for having an “animal” attitude to life, but is it so bad if it is thanks to this trait of them that it is easier for us to make our chosen one truly happy?

If for happiness a woman needs the feeling that she is loved, and confidence in the future, and daily manifestations of feelings - which in itself is a difficult task for her partner, then for men everything is a little easier.

Many admit that good sex and care are enough for them to be happy. Take advantage of this little frankness and try to give your loved one what he so desires.

In principle, everything is simple with the first point - either you are compatible in bed, or not. Find the golden mean between the constant " combat readiness» Satisfy your partner's passion with respect for yourself and your body. And you are fine, and the guy is happy.

Gentle care is always expected from a woman: find a way to distract him from difficult thoughts, take care of the nutrition of your loved one, about his well-being and appearance.

Unobtrusive and constant, even if a little like maternal, care helps a man to relax and feel " at home" in any place, if only his companion was nearby. No normal guy would think of giving up comfort and warmth, believe me!

Neither buy nor get

As taught the heroine of the film " The most charming and attractive»experienced friend:« That's in vain you said that you soak the gum in kerosene, now he will take it and soak it. And everything that he likes should be only with you - and neither buy nor get».

And rightly so, how to become unique in the eyes of your partner if you give out all the secrets?

In vain, girls try to teach guys how to cook delicious borscht according to their signature recipe, explain how to wash T-shirts and not get spoiled rags shedding on each other, where to buy his favorite cookies, etc. Do not reveal all the secrets! The mystery of a woman is not only what is on her mind, but also how she manages to do everything so wonderfully.

This works especially if you are looking for a way to tame a man younger than you. Excellence in career, strong-willed character and life experience is perceived by many guys as a painful challenge.

But in economic, domestic matters - please! - you will get an admiring glance and pride of your partner: What a fine fellow I have, everything can". Do not forget that "everything" for a woman through the eyes of a man is the ability to make his life easier and more enjoyable.