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How is the memorial service. On the commemoration of the dead: memorial service, memorial prayer, parental Saturdays. Church funeral services

The custom of remembering the dead is found already in the Old Testament church (Numbers 20:29; Deut. 34:9; 1 Sam. 31:13; 2 Mac. 7:38-46; 12:45).
In the Christian Church, this custom is ancient, as ancient as the very basis on which the remembrance of the dead is performed.

Death is the completion of the earthly path, the cessation of suffering, a kind of frontier, beyond which comes what he has been going and striving for all his life. Whoever knew the truth and died in faith, he conquered death, together with the Risen Christ. The Church does not divide its members into the living and the dead; in Christ everyone is alive.
Love for dead relatives imposes on us, who are now alive, a sacred duty - to pray for the salvation of their souls.

According to Christian tradition, a wake for the deceased is held on the day of the funeral (on the third day after death), on the ninth and fortieth day after death. In the future, commemorations are traditionally held a year later, as well as on the birthday, death day and on the name day of the deceased. These days it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased.
Everyone who was at the cemetery and helped with the funeral is traditionally invited to the wake on the day of the funeral. Therefore, as a rule, commemorations on the third day are the most numerous. At the wake of the ninth day, it is customary to invite only close friends and relatives of the deceased. The memorial meal on the fortieth day is similar to the wake on the day of the funeral. On the fortieth day, everyone who wants to remember a person who has passed away comes.
It is possible to hold a memorial service both in the house of the deceased, and in any other place. Commemoration these days is consecrated by an ancient church custom.

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie in the church, so that during the first forty days of the newly deceased, they would be especially commemorated every day. The third and ninth days are especially noted, when, according to the teachings of the Church, the soul appears to the heavenly Throne, and the fortieth day, when the Lord pronounces a temporary sentence, determining where the soul will be until the Last Judgment. These days, you need to pray fervently for the deceased, and after these days, more often submit notes for the Liturgy and memorial service. Panikhida is a funeral service that can be performed both before and after burial.
Of particular power are the general commemorations of the dead, which are performed on the meat-fare parental Saturday (a week before Great Lent), on Radonitsa (nine days after Easter), on the eve of the Trinity and on Dimitriev's parental Saturday (Saturday until November 8). In addition, on three Saturdays in Great Lent (2nd, 3rd and 4th), the Ecumenical Church decided to commemorate all dead Christians in a conciliar manner.
The dead cannot pray for themselves, they are waiting for our prayers. Most of all, the soul needs them for the first 40 days, while it goes through ordeals and a private judgment is made. It is necessary in all, as far as possible, temples to order a magpie - a commemoration for 40 days, serve every day for a memorial service, commemorate at the Psalter, give alms and ask to pray for this soul. So, constantly remembering, with the help of the Church, you can beg your soul even from hell.

But commemoration in the Church provides special help to the deceased. Before visiting the cemetery, you should come to the temple at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the names of the deceased relatives for commemoration in the altar (best of all, if this is a commemoration at the proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased, and then as a sign of the washing of his sins dipped into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts). After the Liturgy, a memorial service should be served. Panikhidas that are performed on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays.
A candle set for the repose "on the eve" is one of the indispensable types of commemoration. At the same time, it is necessary to offer prayers to the Lord for the departed: “Remember, Lord, the souls (of) the departed (his) servants (a) of Your (his) (their names), and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven” .
Kanun - a quadrangular table with a marble or metal board, on which cells for candles are located.

What you need to know about funeral

In addition to the daily commemoration of the dead at the services of the daily cycle, the Church has established a number of funeral commemorations. Among them, the first place is occupied by the requiem.
Panikhida - memorial service, Divine service for the dead. The essence of the requiem lies in the prayerful commemoration of our deceased fathers and brothers, who, although they died faithful to Christ, did not completely renounce the weaknesses of fallen human nature and took their weaknesses and infirmities with them to the grave.
When performing a memorial service, the Holy Church focuses our attention on how the souls of the departed ascend from the earth to the Judgment to the Face of God, and how they stand at this Judgment with fear and trembling and confess their deeds before the Lord.
"Calm down" - is sung during the memorial service. The physical death of a person does not yet mean complete peace for the deceased. His soul may suffer, find no rest, it may be tormented by unrepentant sins, remorse. Therefore, we, the living, pray for the departed, we ask God to give them peace and relief. The Church does not anticipate from the Lord the all-just judgment of the mystery of His Judgment on the souls of our deceased loved ones, she proclaims the basic law of this Court - Divine Mercy - and encourages us to pray for the departed, giving full freedom to our heart to express itself in prayerful sighs, to pour out in tears and petitions.
During the memorial service and the funeral service, all worshipers stand with lit candles, in commemoration of the fact that the soul of the deceased has passed from the earth to the Kingdom of Heaven - to the Non-Evening Divine Light. According to the established custom, candles are extinguished at the end of the canon, before singing "From the spirits of the righteous ...".

Days of remembrance of the dead.

Third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.
For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her to those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house where the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul, on the other hand, walks in those places where it used to do the right thing. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him, the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul, which appeared before the face of the Just, is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the deceased.
After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. For this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the enjoyment of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How busy I am in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too would be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas, poor me!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. With fear and trembling the soul stands before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. The prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of God, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.
After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - for earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until the Last Judgment. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They blot out the sins of the deceased and ask his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed holidays are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with at least a hearty commemoration of his loving relatives and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

Ecumenical funeral service (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away from the age of faith, who have been honored with a Christian death, as well as those who, having been overtaken by sudden death, were not sent to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The requiems performed at the same time, indicated by the charter of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Saturday is meatless. Dedicating the Meat-Feast Week to the remembrance of the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for her living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all genera, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death. and pray to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers, and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the Church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all who die in the faith. And communion with them through prayer, prayerful commemoration of them is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all the dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of the salvation of man, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is alive.” ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church dedicates to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. St. Basil the Great, who compiled the touching prayers for the Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord, most of all, on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Holy Forty Days. On Holy Forty Days - the days of Great Lent, spiritual feat, the feat of repentance and doing good to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemoration on the appointed days of those who have departed from this life. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church to commemorate the departed also for the reason that no funeral commemorations are performed on the weekly days of Great Lent (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, forty-mouthed), since there is no daily full liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the dead is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of Holy Forty Days, the indicated Saturdays are singled out.

Radonitsa. The basis of the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas' week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. Thomas Sunday, on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration after Holy and Bright weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of commemoration is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).
Unfortunately, in Soviet times, the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after an earnest prayer for their repose in the temple - after a memorial service served in the church. During the Easter week there are no requiems, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Paschal week, litanies for the dead are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

Dimitriev parental Saturday- on this day, a commemoration of all Orthodox killed soldiers is made. It was established by the holy noble prince Dimitry Donskoy at the suggestion and blessing of St. Sergius of Radonezh in 1380, when he won a glorious, famous victory over the Tatars on the Kulikovo field. Commemoration takes place on the Saturday before Demetrius Day (October 26, old style). Subsequently, on this Saturday, Orthodox Christians began to commemorate not only the soldiers who laid down their lives on the battlefield for their faith and fatherland, but together with them for all Orthodox Christians.
The commemoration of the deceased soldiers is performed by the Orthodox Church on April 26 (May 9, according to a new style), on the feast of the victory over Nazi Germany, and also on August 29, on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist.
It is imperative to commemorate the deceased on the day of his death, birth and name day. The days of commemoration should be spent decorously, reverently, in prayer, doing good to the poor and loved ones, in thinking about our death and future life.
The rules for submitting notes "On repose" are the same as for notes on "Health".

It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The Church performs the main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), a note with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be taken out of the prosphora, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy cup and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest good that we can give to those who are dear to us. Here is how the commemoration at the liturgy is said in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before being separated from real life, only did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayerful vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in deeds of love for God and neighbor), - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for the sins they have committed, without losing, however, the hope of relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and good works done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergy brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church daily brings.

REMEMBER OF THE DEAD

P why do people die?

- “God did not create death and does not rejoice in the perishing of the living, for He created everything for existence” (Wisdom 1:13-14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with both hands and words, considered her a friend and withered away, and made an alliance with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wisdom 1:15-16).

To understand the question of mortality, it is necessary to distinguish between spiritual and bodily death. Spiritual death is the separation of the soul from God, Who for the soul is the Source of eternal joyful being. This death is the most terrible consequence of the fall of man. A person gets rid of it in Baptism.

Although bodily death after Baptism remains in a person, it acquires a different meaning. From punishment, it becomes the door to paradise (for people who not only were baptized, but also lived pleasing to God), and it is already called “dormition”.

What happens to the soul after death?

According to Church Tradition, based on the words of Christ, the souls of the righteous are angels on the eve of paradise, where they stay until the Last Judgment, waiting for eternal bliss: “The poor man died, and was carried by angels into the bosom of Abraham” (Luke 16:22). The souls of sinners fall into the hands of demons and are "in hell, in torment" (see Luke 16:23). The final division into the saved and the damned will take place at the Last Judgment, when “many of those sleeping in the dust of the earth will awaken, some to eternal life, others to eternal reproach and shame” (Dan. 12:2). Christ in the parable of the Last Judgment speaks in detail that sinners who did not do works of mercy will be condemned, and the righteous who did such works will be justified: “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matt. 25 :46).

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What needs to be done these days?

Holy Tradition proclaims to us from the words of the holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of the test of the soul after it has departed from the body. For the first two days, the soul of a deceased person is still on earth and, with the Angel accompanying her, walks to those places that attract her with the memory of earthly joys and sorrows, good deeds and evil ones. So the soul spends the first two days, on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, the church commemoration of the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God, is timely.

Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. The soul stays in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. With fear and trembling, the soul stands before the Throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge for the repose of the soul of the deceased with the saints.

After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends to the Throne of God for the third time. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she was honored by her deeds. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They ask for the forgiveness of sins and the placement of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. These days the Church performs requiems and litias.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and intercessors to Him, intercede for mercy on the deceased. Commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day crying of the Israelites about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, acceptance of a special Divine gift, for receiving the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. So, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive from Him the tablets of the Law only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the wilderness. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration of the dead on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of God, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.

On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church by submitting notes for commemoration at the Liturgy and Panikhida.

What soul does not go through ordeals after death?

It is known from Holy Tradition that even the Mother of God, having received notice from the archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, bowed down before the Lord, humbly implored Him that, at the hour of the departure of Her soul, she would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but so that the Lord Himself would receive Her soul into His Divine embrace. It is all the more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them, and do everything to cleanse the conscience, correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for a person; for God will bring every work into judgment, and every secret thing, whether it be good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

What is the concept of heaven?

Paradise is not so much a place as a state of mind; just as hell is suffering resulting from the inability to love and non-participation in the Divine light, so paradise is the bliss of the soul, resulting from an excess of love and light, to which one who is united with Christ fully and completely partakes. This is not contradicted by the fact that paradise is described as a place with various "mansions" and "halls"; all descriptions of paradise are only attempts to express in human language that which is inexpressible and transcends the human mind.

In the Bible, "paradise" refers to the garden where God placed man; the same word in the ancient church tradition called the future bliss of people redeemed and saved by Christ. It is also called the "Kingdom of Heaven", "the life of the age to come", "the eighth day", "new heaven", "heavenly Jerusalem". The Holy Apostle John the Theologian says: “I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. Iya, John, saw the holy city of Jerusalem, new, descending from God from heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven, saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them; they will be His people, and God Himself with them will be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death; there will be no more mourning, no outcry, no sickness, for the former has passed away. And He who sits on the throne said: Behold, I make all things new... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; to the thirsty one free of charge from the source of living water... And he (the angel) lifted me up in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, holy Jerusalem, which descended from heaven from God. He has the glory of God... I did not see a temple in him, for the Lord God Almighty is his temple, and the Lamb. And the city has no need of either the sun or the moon for its illumination; for the glory of God hath illumined him, and his lamp is the Lamb. The saved nations will walk in its light... And nothing unclean will enter into it, and no one given over to abomination and falsehood, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life" (Rev. 21:1-6,10,22-24 ,27). This is the earliest description of paradise in Christian literature.

When reading the descriptions of paradise found in theological literature, it is necessary to keep in mind that many Church Fathers speak of the paradise they saw, into which they were raptured by the power of the Holy Spirit. In all descriptions of paradise, it is emphasized that earthly words can only to a small extent depict heavenly beauty, since it is "inexpressible" and surpasses human comprehension. It also speaks of the "many mansions" of paradise (John 14:2), that is, of different degrees of blessedness. “Some (God) will honor with great honors, others with less,” says St. Basil the Great, “because “star differs from star in glory” (1 Cor. 15:41). And since there are “many mansions” with the Father, some will rest in a more excellent and higher state, and others in a lower one. However, for each of his "abode" will be the highest fullness of bliss available to him - in accordance with how close he is to God in earthly life. “All the saints who are in Paradise will see and know one another, but Christ will see and fill everyone,” says St. Simeon the New Theologian.

What is the concept of hell?

There is no person who is deprived of the love of God, and there is no place that is not part of this love; however, everyone who has made a choice in favor of evil, voluntarily deprives himself of God's mercy. Love, which for the righteous in paradise is a source of bliss and consolation, becomes a source of torment for sinners in hell, since they recognize themselves as not participating in love. In the words of St. Isaac, "Gehen torment is repentance."

According to the teachings of St. Simeon the New Theologian, the main reason for a person’s torment in hell is an acute feeling of separation from God: “None of the people who believe in You, Vladyka,” writes St. Simeon, “none of those who were baptized in Your name will endure this great and the terrible severity of separation from You, Merciful, because it is a terrible sorrow, unbearable, terrible and eternal sorrow. If on earth, says St. Simeon, those who do not partake of God have bodily pleasures, then there, outside the body, they will experience one unceasing torment. And all the images of hellish torments that exist in world literature - fire, cold, thirst, red-hot furnaces, lakes of fire, etc. - are only symbols of suffering, which comes from the fact that a person feels himself not involved in God.

For an Orthodox Christian, the idea of hell and eternal torment is inextricably linked with the mystery that is revealed in the divine services of Holy Week and Easter - the mystery of Christ's descent into hell and the deliverance of those who are there from the dominion of evil and death. The Church believes that after His death, Christ descended into the abysses of hell in order to abolish hell and death, to destroy the terrible kingdom of the devil. Just as having entered the waters of the Jordan at the moment of His Baptism, Christ sanctifies these waters filled with human sin, so when He descends into hell, He illuminates it with the light of His presence to the last depths and limits, so that hell can no longer endure the power of God and perishes. St. John Chrysostom in the Paschal catechumen says: “Hell was grieved when he met you at the bottom; grieved, for he was abolished; grieved because he was ridiculed; grieved, for he was put to death; grieved, for he was deposed." This does not mean that hell no longer exists at all after the Resurrection of Christ: it exists, but the death sentence has already been passed on it.

Every Sunday, Orthodox Christians hear hymns dedicated to Christ’s victory over death: “The Angelic Cathedral was surprised, in vain you were imputed to the dead, but the mortal, Savior, ruined the fortress ... and freed all from hell” (liberating everyone from hell). Deliverance from hell, however, should not be understood as some kind of magical act performed by Christ against the will of man: for those who consciously reject Christ and eternal life, hell continues to exist as the suffering and torment of God-forsakenness.

How do you deal with grief at the death of a loved one?

The sorrow of separation from the deceased can only be quenched by prayer for him. Christianity does not see death as the end. Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it. Man is created for eternity; in paradise he was nourished by the "tree of life" (Gen. 2:9) and was immortal. But after the fall, the path to the tree of life was blocked and man became mortal and corruptible.

But life does not end with death, the death of the body is not the death of the soul, the soul is immortal. Therefore, it is necessary to see off the soul of the deceased with prayer. “Do not betray your heart to sorrow; move it away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget about this, for there is no return; and you will not do him any good, but you will hurt yourself... With the repose of the deceased, calm the memory of him, and you will be comforted by him after the departure of his soul ”(Sir. 38:20-21,23).

What to do if, after the death of a loved one, the conscience torments about the wrong attitude towards him during his lifetime?

The voice of conscience accusing of guilt subsides and stops after sincere heartfelt repentance and confession before God to the priest of his sinfulness towards the deceased. It is important to remember that with God everyone is alive and the commandment of love applies to the dead as well. The deceased are in great need of the prayerful help of the living and the alms given for them. The one who loves will pray, do alms, submit church records for the repose of the dead, strive to live pleasing to God, so that God will show His mercy on them.

If you constantly remain in active concern for others, do good to them, then not only peace will be established in your soul, but deep satisfaction and joy.

What to do if a dead person is dreaming?

Dreams should not be ignored. However, one should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer for her, because she herself can no longer do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate God. Therefore, prayer in the temple and at home for the departed loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

How many days are mourning for the deceased?

There is a tradition of forty days of mourning for a deceased loved one. According to the Tradition of the Church, on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will stay until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, an intensified prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is designed to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, to keep from being actively involved in previous worldly affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.

Who is the newly-departed and ever-memorable?

In the church tradition, the deceased person is called the newly deceased within forty days after death. The first day is considered the day of death, even if the death occurred a few minutes before midnight. On the 40th day after the disciple of the Church, God (at the private judgment of the soul), determines its afterlife until the universal Last Judgment prophetically promised by the Savior (see Matt. 25:31-46).

The ever-memorable is usually called a person after forty days after death. Ever-memorable - the word "ever" means - always. And the ever-memorable is always remembered, that is, the one that is always remembered and prayed for. In funeral notes, sometimes they write “the ever-memorable (oh)” before the name, when the next anniversary of the death of the deceased (s) is celebrated.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Does it need to be baptized?

The farewell kissing of the deceased takes place after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss on the whisk placed on the forehead of the deceased, or kiss the icon in his hands. They are baptized at the same time on the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral?

After the funeral of the deceased, the icon can be taken home, or left in the temple.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the temple and order a funeral service in absentia, as well as order magpies, memorial services and pray for him at home.

How to help the deceased?

It is possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you make frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good to work for the Church in memory of the deceased, for example, in a monastery.

What is the purpose of commemorating the dead?

Prayer for those who have passed from temporal life to eternal life is an ancient tradition of the Church, sanctified for centuries. Leaving the body, a person leaves the visible world, but he does not leave the Church, but remains a member of it, and it is the duty of those who remain on earth to pray for him. The Church believes that prayer facilitates the posthumous fate of a person. As long as a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death, this possibility disappears, only hope for the prayers of the living remains. After the death of the body and a private judgment, the soul is on the eve of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the brief earthly life was lived. But much also depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - up to their complete justification.

Can the dead be cremated?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults and spread as a norm in a secular (non-religious) society during the Soviet period. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased, at the slightest opportunity to avoid cremation, should prefer the burial of the deceased in the ground. In the sacred books there is no prohibition to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications of Christian doctrine for a different way of burying the bodies - this is their burial in the ground (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59-60). This method of burial, adopted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it by special rites, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - faith in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary sleep of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is the natural bed of rest and which is why the Church calls the deceased (and in the worldly - the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence.

The Gospel describes the rite of burial of the Lord Jesus Christ, which consisted in the washing of His Most Pure Body, putting on special burial clothes and being placed in a tomb (Matt. 27:59-60; Mark 15:46; 16:1; Luke 23:53 ; 24:1; John 19:39-42). The same actions are supposed to be performed on the departed Christians at the present time.

Cremation may be allowed in exceptional cases, when there is no way to bring the body of the deceased to the ground.

Is it true that on the 40th day the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie in the Church. This is a daily enhanced commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until a private judgment that determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order a longer-term commemoration in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order a commemoration in several monasteries and temples (their number does not matter). The more prayer books for the deceased, the better.

What is eve?

Eve (or eve) is a special square or rectangular table on which stands the Cross with the Crucifix and holes for candles are arranged. Panikhidas are served before the eve. Here you can put candles and put products to commemorate the dead.

Why do you need to bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various products to the temple so that the servants of the Church commemorate the dead at the meal. These offerings serve as a donation, almsgiving for the deceased. In the old days, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th), memorial tables were laid, at which the poor, the homeless, orphans were fed, so that there were many prayer books for the deceased. For prayer, and especially for almsgiving, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is alleviated. Then these commemorative tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the ecumenical commemoration of all Christians who have died for centuries with the same purpose - to commemorate the dead.

What foods can be put on the eve?

Products can be anything. It is forbidden to bring meat into the temple.

What commemoration of the dead is the most important?

Prayers at the Liturgy have special power. The Church prays for all the dead, including those in hell. One of the kneeling prayers read on the feast of Pentecost contains a petition "for those who are kept in hell" and that the Lord rest them "in a place of light." The Church believes that through the prayers of the living, God can ease the afterlife of the dead, delivering them from torment and honoring them with salvation with the saints.

Therefore, it is necessary in the coming days after death to order a magpie in the temple, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is removed from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the newly deceased. This is a feat of love for the fullness of the Orthodox Church in the person of a priest who celebrates the Liturgy for the sake of the people commemorated at the proskomedia. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What is Parents' Saturday?

On certain Sabbath days of the year, the Church commemorates all formerly deceased Christians. Panikhidas that are performed on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. On the morning of parental Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all formerly deceased Christians are commemorated. On the eve of parental Saturday, on Friday evening, parastas is served (translated from Greek as "preceding", "intercession", "intercession") - the following of a great memorial service for all the departed Orthodox Christians.

When are Parents' Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a fixed date, but are associated with the passing day of the celebration of Easter. Saturday meat-fare happens eight days before the start of Lent. Parent Saturdays are on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent. Trinity parental Saturday - on the eve of the day of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, according to the new style), Demetrius' Parents' Saturday takes place.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

Yes, it is possible and necessary to pray for the repose of the dead even after parental Saturdays. This is the duty of the living to the dead and an expression of love for them. The deceased themselves can no longer help themselves, they cannot bring the fruits of repentance, do alms. This is evidenced by the gospel parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). Death is not a departure into non-existence, but the continuation of the existence of the soul in eternity, with all its features, infirmities and passions. Therefore, the departed (except for the saints glorified by the Church) need prayerful commemoration.

Saturdays (except for Great Saturday, Saturday in the Bright Week and Saturdays coinciding with the Twelfth, Great and Temple Feasts), in the church calendar, are traditionally considered days of special commemoration of the departed. But you can pray for the dead, submit notes in the temple on any day of the year, even when, according to the charter of the Church, memorial services are not served, in this case the names of the dead are commemorated in the altar.

What other days of commemoration of the dead are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa, they share the joy of the Lord's Resurrection with the departed, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought the souls of the Old Testament righteous from there. From this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called "radonitsa", or "radonitsa".

Special commemoration of all the deceased during the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945. established by the Church on May 9. The soldiers killed on the battlefield are also commemorated on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist on September 11, according to the new style.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?

The main days of the memory of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and name day. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, relatives close to him pray for him, thereby expressing the belief that the day of a person’s death is not a day of destruction, but a new birth for eternal life; the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to other conditions of life, where there is no longer any place for earthly diseases, sorrows and sighs.

On this day, it is good to visit the cemetery, but first you should come to the temple at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (it is better if it is a commemoration at the proskomedia), at a memorial service and, if possible, pray at the service.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, Holy Spirit Day?

Sundays and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days of commemoration of the dead - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as the anniversaries of death and namesake days of the dead.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of lithium on your own, having previously purchased the appropriate brochure in a church or an Orthodox store. Optionally, you can read an akathist about the repose of the dead. Just keep quiet, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to arrange a "commemoration" at the cemetery?

In addition to the kutia consecrated in the temple, nothing is worth eating or drinking at the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this offends the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread “for the deceased” on the grave is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. It is not necessary to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

What is supposed to be eaten at the "commemoration"?

According to tradition, after the burial, a memorial table is assembled. The memorial meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The memorial meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo are boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. Also, according to tradition, they eat pancakes, sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be fast. A memorial meal should differ from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased.

Unfortunately, a bad custom has taken root to commemorate the deceased with vodka with a hearty snack. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. This is wrong, since the newly-departed soul these days longs for a special fervent prayer for her to God, and certainly not drinking wine.

Is it possible to place a photo of the deceased on the grave cross?

A cemetery is a special place where the bodies of those who have passed into another life are buried. A visible evidence of this is the tomb cross, which is erected as a sign of the redemptive victory of the Lord Jesus Christ over death. As the Savior of the world resurrected, accepting death on the cross for people, so will all the dead bodily resurrect. People come to the cemetery to pray for the dead in this place of rest. A photograph on a grave cross often prompts more remembrance than prayer.

With the adoption of Christianity in Rus', the dead were placed either in stone sarcophagi, and a cross was depicted on the lid, or in the ground. A cross was placed on the grave. After 1917, when the destruction of Orthodox traditions took on a systematic character, instead of crosses, columns with photographs began to be placed on the graves. Sometimes monuments were erected and a portrait of the deceased was attached to them. After the war, monuments with a star and a photograph began to prevail as headstones. In the last decade and a half, crosses have increasingly begun to appear in cemeteries. The practice of placing photographs on crosses has survived from past Soviet decades.

Can I bring my dog with me when visiting the cemetery?

Taking a dog to a cemetery for the purpose of walking, of course, is not worth it. But if necessary, for example, a guide dog for the blind or for the purpose of protection when visiting a remote cemetery, you can take it with you. Dogs should not be allowed to run over graves.

If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Pascha to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter canon is read. Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week they read the Acts of the Holy Apostles.

Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for an infant?

The dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for the forgiveness of sins, since babies do not have consciously committed sins, but they ask the Lord to vouchsafe them the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to bury someone who died in the war in absentia if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then he can be buried in absentia, and the earth received after the correspondence funeral can be sprinkled crosswise on any grave in the Orthodox cemetery.

The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in Russia in the 20th century due to the large number of those who died in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to the persecution of the Church and the persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, an absentee funeral is permissible.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an undead buried deceased?

Memorial services can be ordered if the deceased was a baptized Orthodox person and not from among the suicides. The Church does not commemorate the unbaptized and suicides.

If it became known that the buried person was not buried according to the Orthodox rite, then it must be buried in absentia. In the rite of the funeral, in contrast to the memorial service, the priest reads a special prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.

It is important not just to “order” a memorial service and a funeral service, but for the relatives and friends of the deceased to take prayerful part in them.

Is it possible to sing a suicide and pray for his repose at home and in the temple?

In exceptional cases, after consideration of all the circumstances of the suicide by the ruling bishop of the diocese, an absentee funeral may be blessed. To do this, the relevant documents and a written petition are submitted to the ruling bishop, where, with special responsibility for one’s words, all known circumstances and reasons for suicide are indicated. All cases are considered individually. With the permission of the absentee funeral service by the bishop, the temple prayer for repose becomes possible.

In all cases, for the prayerful consolation of the relatives and friends of the person who committed suicide, a special prayer order has been developed, which can be performed whenever the relatives of the person who committed suicide turn to the priest for consolation in the grief that has befallen them.

In addition to performing this rite, relatives and friends can, with the blessing of the priest, read the prayer of the reverend elder Leo of Optina at home: “Search, Lord, for the lost soul of Your servant (name): if it is possible to eat, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not put me in sin with this prayer of mine, but may Thy holy will be done ”and give alms.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa? What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes about the commemoration of suicides to the temple?

No, it's not. If a person, out of ignorance, submitted notes about the commemoration of suicides (the funeral service of which was not blessed by the ruling bishop), then he needs to repent of this at confession and not do it again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not to believe the rumors.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is a Catholic?

Private, private (home) prayer for a non-Orthodox deceased is not prohibited - you can commemorate him at home, read the psalms at the tomb. Churches do not bury or commemorate those who have never belonged to the Orthodox Church: non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral rites and panikhidas are composed taking into account the fact that the deceased and the buried person was a faithful member of the Orthodox Church.

Is it possible to submit notes in the temple about the commemoration of the deceased unbaptized?

Liturgical prayer is a prayer for the children of the Church. In the Orthodox Church, it is not customary to commemorate unbaptized, as well as non-Orthodox Christians, at the proskomedia (the preparatory part of the Liturgy). This, however, does not mean that they cannot be prayed for at all. Private (home) prayer for such dead is possible. Christians believe that prayer can be of great help to the dead. True Orthodoxy breathes the spirit of love, mercy and indulgence towards all people, including those outside the Orthodox Church.

The Church cannot commemorate the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, they were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, they did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in those blessings that He promised to those who love him.

Orthodox Christians pray at home for the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who have not been granted Holy Baptism, and of infants who have died in their mother’s womb or during childbirth, they read the canon to the holy martyr Uar, who has grace from God to intercede for the dead who have not been granted Holy Baptism. It is known from the life of the holy martyr Uar that by his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.

It is said that those who died during Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the ways of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does everything” (Eccl. 11:5). The one who lived piously, did good deeds, wore a cross, repented, confessed and took communion - he, by the grace of God, can be worthy of a blessed life in eternity, regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his whole life in sins, did not confess and did not receive communion, but died on Bright Week, can it be argued that he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven?

If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord terminates the earthly life of each person in due time, providentially caring for each soul.

“Do not hasten death with the delusions of your life, and do not draw destruction upon you by the works of your hands” (Wisdom 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).

Is it possible to get married in the year of the mother's death?

There is no special rule in this regard. Let the religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant matters of life, one must consult with the priest.

Why is it necessary to take communion on the days of memory of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased prepare and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of the sins related to the deceased, forgive him all offenses and ask for forgiveness themselves.

Is it necessary to close the mirror if one of the relatives has died?

Hanging mirrors in the house is a superstition, and has nothing to do with church traditions of burying the dead. Is it necessary to close the mirror if one of the relatives has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in the house where the death took place partly comes from the belief that whoever sees his own reflection in the mirror of this house will also die soon. There are many "mirror" superstitions, some of them are related to divination on mirrors. And where there is magic and sorcery, fear and superstition inevitably appear. A hung or not hung mirror does not affect the duration of life, which is entirely dependent on the Lord.

There is a belief that until the fortieth day nothing from the things of the deceased can be given away. Is this true?

It is necessary to intercede for the defendant before the trial, and not after it. Therefore, it is necessary to intercede for the soul of the deceased immediately after his death until the fortieth day and after it: to pray and do works of mercy, distribute things of the deceased, donate to the monastery, to the church. Before the Last Judgment, it is possible to change the afterlife of the deceased by intensified prayer for him and alms.

Elena Terekhova

When is a memorial service for the dead

- This is a prayer commemoration at which a memorial service is performed in the hope of the mercy of God and the remission of the sins of the deceased. Such services can be ordered on the third, ninth, fortieth day after death, on the birthday of the deceased.

If the funeral service is performed in the temple, you need to put a candle on a candlestick, which looks like a board with holes for candles. It's called "eve". There is also a small cross. Eve has its own meaning. It reminds that all the dead can hope for the Kingdom of Heaven and shine with divine light like wax.

Candles during a memorial service for the dead are not placed on the eve of the week before Easter. Because at this time believers pay all their attention to the events of Christ before His crucifixion. After parting with the body, the soul spends some time in hell.

On the fortieth day, the Lord decides where she will stay. Therefore, if the soul died in lack of faith and without repentance, the prayers of relatives are necessary for it. Until the fortieth day, we commemorate the deceased as a newly reposed.

During the funeral prayer, the priest censes, the deacon pronounces the words, the choir sings a memorial service. When a person dies, his relatives sometimes have many questions about his funeral. For example: "Can I order memorial service for the deceased if he is a Catholic?”, “Is it possible to order a memorial service if the deceased is not baptized?”, “What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral?”, “Is it possible to sing in absentia the deceased in the war if the place of his burial is not known? ”, “Why do you need to bring food to the temple?”

All questions have answers. Non-Orthodox can be commemorated in home prayer. But you can not order a memorial service for them in the temple. The unbaptized are also not buried in the temple, since they were not members of the Church, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ, did not partake of the mysteries of Christ.

If the deceased was buried without a funeral service, but he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the temple and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies.

Memorial services for the dead, those who died in the war and those buried in an unknown place can be served in absentia if the person was baptized. And the earth received after the funeral is sprinkled crosswise on any grave in the Orthodox cemetery.

Believers bring food to the temple so that the ministers of the church commemorate the dead at the meal. This is almsgiving, donations for the deceased. To have more prayer books for the dead, you can lay a memorial table for the poor, the homeless, orphans.

Take it, tell your friends!