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How to become an interesting personality for men. How to be always interesting for your husband. famous rules

Every girl wants to be desired. And sometimes it's hard to feel special. After all, a woman needs not only mutual sympathy from a man, but also respect. You need to impress them with everything: with your intellect, appearance, sense of humor and inimitable charisma.

Constantly learn something new

A person who strives for knowledge will always be an interesting conversationalist. How can a girl become an interesting companion for a man? Try to get more new information. Many people do not learn anything interesting for months, and it seems to them that nothing is happening in the world. But as soon as you turn on the TV to a news channel or find a scientific and educational program, the situation will change. Thousands of discoveries are made every day in the world. Some of them are significant, some are not. It will be impossible to remember everything and everything. But you can try to memorize some piece of information that will strike you the most.

Instead of sitting on social networks in public transport, it’s better to scroll through the feed of world events. You won’t be able to talk with men about what your girlfriend went to the disco, but it’s real to discuss raising the retirement age. Therefore, be interested in world events and try to find some interesting news every day.

Books are a window into the unknown world. With the help of literature, you can get to know human souls, get to know people's desires and needs better, and also get acquainted with interesting philosophical views. Don't know how to become an interesting girl for men? Then urgently download something from fiction on the Internet. Well-read girls do not worry about how to attract the representatives of the stronger sex. Ladies are confident in their intelligence, and they are not afraid to seem stupid to men. But flirtatious girls who read one book a year are very worried about what to talk about with guys.

If you decide to introduce yourself a good habit of reading, then try to take not only quantity, but also quality. No one is interested in talking about romance with you. So develop your taste. Read classics, fantasy and philosophy. Expand your knowledge base from art and music magazines. A person who reads a lot will always be a pleasant conversationalist.

Talk less about yourself

Ladies love to scratch their tongues. And whenever possible, girls start talking about themselves. How to become an interesting companion for a man? Talk less about your life. A man may only politely ask about how your day went or how your meeting with a girlfriend went. The representatives of the stronger sex are usually of little interest in what you talked about with colleagues at work or what you ate for lunch. Do not go into details that you would not be interested in hearing. Always imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor. Here you are talking about the new frying pan that you bought yesterday. Yes, the thing is good, but would you be interested if your opponent praised the pan? No. Stop sharing personal information and give it out in a very dosed way. Stop inserting phrases about what your mother or sister thinks about this or that about every successful and unsuccessful case. A man is talking to you, so answer him from your point of view, without dragging anyone extra into the dialogue.

Be more interested in your interlocutor

If a girl talks less about herself, what should she talk about then? How to become an interesting interlocutor for a man? Keep your interlocutor in the spotlight. Be interested in his life, work and love to talk about what they have succeeded in. Run out of conversation topics? Ask something about the guy's childhood or about his school years. Are you afraid that the question will be very personal? Do not be afraid. If the person doesn't want to answer you, they will change the subject. Always ask how the person is doing. This question today is as much a tribute to politeness as a standard greeting. And most importantly, listen with sincere interest to what your interlocutor is talking about.

Attention to appearance

How to become an interesting woman for a man? As you know, the representatives of the stronger sex love with their eyes. Therefore, you can become attractive to a guy simply by changing outwardly. Men love beautiful pictures. Try to be a cover girl. If you're overweight, join a gym and don't skip your workouts. Pay attention to hair and skin condition. Go to the hairdresser and beautician. Be sure to get a manicure and pedicure. Revisit your wardrobe. Throw out all the old and stretched things. Get some new dresses that show off your figure well.

Only stupid girls think that guys don't care about looks. No young man wants to see a fat scary girl next to him. Ask any representative of the stronger sex, he wants to see a supermodel next to him.

A person who loves himself stands out from the surrounding masses. A confident person who has no doubts about the correctness of his decisions and actions is interesting to others. How to become interesting for men? The girl should think about how to become interesting for herself. A lady should not be afraid to be alone with herself. A person who loves his society and is interesting to himself will be interesting to others. Sit quietly for 30 minutes and think about how you feel and what you think. Believe me, you shouldn't spend all your free time shutting yourself off from this world with a phone screen or music. Mind your own business without playing songs. Learn to fall asleep without ritually scrolling through your Instagram feed. Only when you can find activities and thoughts that are interesting to you will you be transformed for the world around you.

Gossip less

Men love serious conversations. They do not like stupid gossip about how stupid Natasha is and for what reason Olya broke up with Maxim. How to become interesting for men? Stop spreading gossip. At least limit their number in communication with a man. The less you transmit unverified information about your environment, the more seriously the interlocutor will take you. Talk to the man about books, movies, or the latest news. The less you talk about your friends and condemn them for their actions, the better.

Don't run after a man

No man will ever appreciate blind admiration. If you show a man that you are interested in his candidacy, always say what it is that attracts you. No need to make another person an idol. And if the young man does not reciprocate? How to become interesting for men? Don't run after the person. The person who will be interested in you will find a reason and an opportunity to meet with you. From time to time, meetings should be initiated by you, but for the most part, the initiative should come from a man. If the representative of the stronger sex is not too interested in your candidacy, then you should not be killed by him. There will always be someone who can appreciate you.

Sometimes, in a conversation with pleasant people, you involuntarily notice the glazed look of the interlocutor, in which it is clearly visible that he does not care about what you say to him, and in order to get rid of you as soon as possible, he pretends that someone is calling him and moves away . It's a shame. But the interlocutor is not at all to blame for the fact that you are so boring and not interesting, all the blame is on you.

If nature has deprived you of charisma, you will have to work on it yourself.

Develop new skills

Make sure other people find you interesting. It will make you feel useful in any situation. So get started. It doesn't matter what interests you: cutting and sewing courses or NLP.

That way, there will always be someone who will need you, whether it's a transgender buddy who is embarrassed to go to women's clothing stores and asks you to make him a dress, or an aspiring businessman who needs a person who understands psychology.

Show a passion for knowledge

When you quote someone else's opinion, interest in you drops sharply. Why communicate with a person who repeats the text of some well-known book, voices boring dogmas, etc. Would you yourself be interested in a person who simply repeats your words? It is much more interesting to communicate with a person who seeks and generates new ideas, shares his unique experience. Such people are drawn to, such people lead the seething crowds of revolutionaries. Therefore, when reading even such an interesting person as, try to think over every word, and not yell that he is a genius. Try to explain and express what you read in your own language.

Tell a good story

By the way, lovers of unnecessary research conducted another one, in which they found out that women love males who can speak beautifully and interestingly. Indeed, a very livable skill.

Surely you have a grain of doubt, and you, remembering your tongue-tied tongue and lack of imagination, have already decided to leave this talent for later. Take your time, it is enough to have 3 stories for all occasions. Let it be a real incident or a fucking anecdote from the "Town" with its own interpretation, as long as it is not a prehistoric fact from the frescoes of the Chinese Qin dynasty, written by the ancient philosopher Fu Baian. Therefore, recycle each story, add your own to it and rehearse like a real stand-up artist before the performance. However, all this is written in the above link.

Listen and show compassion

This idea was popularized by Dale Carnegie in 1936 with the release of his bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People. He wrote, "You can make more friends in two months showing interest in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you."

Therefore, listen carefully to others and treat their problems with some compassion in order to understand their motives and actions. Few of us are really good at this - selfishness makes it difficult to delve into human problems, but when a person meets a sincere and interested interlocutor, he involuntarily treats him with more reverence than a simple acquaintance or even comrade. After all, we are all, in fact, weak creatures, and we need a person who could understand and accept us.

Ask good questions

At the party, even if everyone is quenched to the point known as "people in the plot of the movie "Bitter"", try not to talk too much about yourself, even if you really want to be remembered. It would be much better to drag the interlocutor into a deep conversation about their lifestyle.

Ask, as necessary, of course, about their priorities, find out how people live and so on. Try to listen to the answers, and not ask for show, then just as thoughtfully discuss what you hear, without trying to offend the person. By the end of the evening, you will be remembered as one of the most interesting conversationalists they have ever met along the way.

Feel free to ask seemingly simple questions and don't try to look like a know-it-all or your ignorance will come out.

Say what you think

With people who do not express very, very boring, even if it does not even coincide with other points of view. But you will be remembered thanks to your firm position.

And instead of learning tons of abstruse topics, lean on what you know and what you understand. Then there will be no awkward pauses, misunderstandings, and other awkward moments. Although, of course, you should avoid those awkward moments when everyone talks about zucchini, and you start about felt boots.

read a lot

Increase vocabulary and add knowledge. This is an absolutely indisputable fact, so it is difficult to find an area in which reading would not be useful.

Among other things, they can replace teachers, travel, and even college education. After all, it is not necessary to travel all over the world to know how people live on the other side of the world. A book is a door to other, even distant worlds.

By the way, an interesting fact: people who read a lot of science fiction are better at empathizing and understanding others.

And don't limit yourself to books. Various blogs, online magazines, articles are also useful to read. Another thing is that some of them contain complete heresy.

Don't hide your sense of humor

Tell me, with whom would you prefer to communicate: with a boring boring specialist in all spheres of life or with a cheerful and witty patient who does not stick out his knowledge? It seems that the answer is obvious. So draw your own conclusions: it makes you feel better than even a promise to give an interest-free loan. In addition, wit requires at least some presence of brains, which means that you are automatically ranked as smart and reasonable.

Spend time with interesting people

Your environment has a huge impact on your personality. If you are in the company of boring, disgruntled or overly serious people, then most likely you will soon become as unpleasant as they are. Therefore, try to choose the one that is close to you (some are comfortable among bores), and ideally it can make you even better. And while you are spinning in a company that does not appreciate you, you are simply degrading. You yourself understand who and when influences you badly, don't you?

Therefore, challenge yourself and others, look for "your" people, because everyone has a "starry own person" with whom it is good to communicate, hang out, share their worldview and outlook on life. The guarantee that you will find people who interest you and who are interested in you is almost 100%, you just need to start looking for them.

The authors of The Rules, Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider, revolutionized America when they demanded that women once and for all forget about meeting men first, calling themselves, making dates. The main idea of the book can be expressed very briefly by one of those very famous rules: "Let the man lead." Today we publish the part that concerns the already established relations.

Rule #26 Even if you are engaged or married, you still need "rules"

Ideally, we should follow the "Rules" from the minute we first meet a man until the moment he says he loves and wants to get married. But if you were unfortunate enough to know about The Rules before reading this book, we offer you the best thing to do right now. It is better to follow the "Rules" now than not to follow them ever.

But if you never knew about The Rules, don't feel like you need to completely change your relationship with your fiancé or husband. For example, if you were the initiator of the relationship, calling him, asking him out on a date, and doing other things in order for the relationship to work out, he will always expect something like this from you. He does not have to worry about marriage - he knows that he has you. After all, you tell him this with every word and gesture. And a man gets used to taking you for granted. You may have made things worse by initiating sex and/or romantic dinners. You asked him about your feelings, asking him to spend less time at work or with friends and more time with you. Sometimes you even think that he has an affair on the side.

If you didn't follow the "Rules" from the very beginning of your relationship, then your husband may not pay attention to you, be rude or treat you badly. Are you guessing:

- Is his behavior the result of bad upbringing or is it related to his past?

Perhaps it is. But we think it's all your fault. You didn't follow the "Rules". A man has never had to treat you like the girl of his dreams. A man who is absolutely indifferent to his wife or girlfriend changes dramatically when he meets a woman who follows the "Rules".

There is no place for violence in a relationship according to the "Rules", you were difficult to win, a man had to work hard, and now he considers you the most beautiful and beautiful woman in the world, even if you are not. For him, you are a real treasure.

Do not despair. Start following the "Rules" immediately, and he will certainly notice a change in your behavior. And then he wants you more.

Here are five suggestions

Don't call him at work so often. Calls should be short and businesslike. ("What time is the movie?"). Do not call to say that you are bored and want to have sex in the evening. He should be calling you to say something like that.
Don't initiate sex, even if you really want to. Let him be the man and the aggressor in the bedroom. Biologically, it is the man who should pursue the woman. If you start to initiate sex, then deprive a man of masculinity. Act like a Rules girl on a first date. Be flirtatious. Flirt when he tries to kiss you or bite your neck. And that will turn him into a tiger.
Dress better and sexier. Men do not like to see a woman in a dressing gown at home. Wear tight jeans, miniskirts, brightly colored shirts with low necklines. Use perfume, do makeup. Wash your hair often. Pretend you're on a date.
Conduct yourself independently. Always come or go. Don't sit on the couch waiting for him to return. Do not load him with stories about the events of the day, your problems and pain. Make plans with friends, kids and neighbors. Go to the cinema and shopping malls. Just walk. And this will make him dream about how to snatch at least a minute of your precious time. He'll want to kiss you in the kitchen if he feels like you're about to slip away. He will go crazy when you start talking on the phone in his presence - he will want you to belong entirely to him. This is what happens when you start following the "Rules". He will feel that he will never get tired of you. He will start calling you from work to arrange a dinner at a restaurant or a weekend trip. This is what you need. Men love independent women because they give them freedom. They like to stalk busy women. It's interesting and exciting.
Find yourself a hobby. Most men prefer to spend Sunday watching TV with beer. Some take work home and sit at the computer all day. Women get lonely when their men don't include them in their plans and don't pay attention to them. You should not nag a man and demand that he give up hobbies, friends and work just because you are bored. You will get more attention if you are busier than him. Play with your kids, go for a run in the park, buy a membership to a fitness club. This will not only keep you occupied, but it will also help you stay in shape and be more attractive. He will think about what other men will think when they see you in a swimsuit. This is very helpful for relationships. This will make the man turn off the TV or computer and spend time with you. You can do charity work, read a book or play sports.

Find your own activities! The main thing is independence and employment. And then you will not hang around a man, complaining that he does not pay attention to you.

Alas, following the "Rules" sometimes implies loneliness (even if you are married and have children). Be glad it's not forever!

Why does a man lose interest in a woman?

Let's consider such a situation. You have been together for a long time, you know and understand each other well and feel that a man’s interest in you is declining. Relations somehow fade, gradually fade away, lose their former liveliness and passion. A man no longer looks at you with admiration and does not lust as before.

At the same time, you do everything for him, please, and dodge this way and that, but he doesn’t seem to appreciate it and shows less and less reciprocity. How to be? Is it possible to return and maintain his interest?

The good news is yes, it is quite possible. To do this, you have to stop doing what you were doing, namely dodging for him this way and that.

Sounds weird, right? Let's figure it out.

A bit of science. Think about the Coolidge effect, about the attractiveness of new women ready for fertilization. What happens to men at this moment? They see a possible reward in front of them (the opportunity to reproduce and pass on their genes), but there is a high level of uncertainty (it is not certain that this woman will choose it). When a man knows that a reward may await him ahead, but it’s not a fact that he will receive it, a very important neurotransmitter, dopamine, begins to be produced in him. Dopamine induces motivation, encourages men to act in exchange for a possible reward, gives an incentive to develop events, keep going forward and try.

Gambling is attractive to men for about the same reason: in them, he can get a reward, but this is not certain, there is uncertainty. Therefore, dopamine is produced, which makes you try more and more.

And for the same reason, men are attracted to women who promise a reward by their appearance or behavior, but which they do not possess or do not fully possess.

From this we can conclude: if a man knows you inside and out, if he knows that you will not get away from him, that you are completely dependent and subordinate, that he will always have a delicious dinner and royal sex at the snap of his finger - he becomes interested in you. Because everything is too predictable and he will receive his reward anyway.

That is why in a relationship with a man it is worth maintaining a certain level of uncertainty in order to stir up his interest and maintain the level of dopamine.

How to remain a mystery to a man

So you are a woman, he is a man. You have something of your feminine that he is not interested in. He has something of his masculine that you are not interested in. In addition, there are some common topics that are of interest to both of you. So the recipe is quite simple:

Have and observe your own interests and hobbies;
Connect on common topics that interest you;
And disagree on topics that you are not interested in.

On the one hand, he is not interested in your hobbies, and on the other hand, he is curious that you have something of your own and you are not fully known to him in some way. He does not know about you in your area of hobbies, does not know what is going on with you there. This is the very degree of uncertainty and mystery.

How to stay interesting on maternity leave

And for many women, first of all, it is necessary to learn to look after their own interests. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult and difficult, especially for moms during the maternity period, but it is still vital to free up time for some of your own hobbies or some communities or companies. The same fitness, dancing, and even Tuva throat singing is a huge positive factor, it will fill and enliven both you and your relationship.

Stay beautiful and interesting

It also makes a lot of sense to maintain at least some social activity, to maintain some kind of social interaction. If you are locked in some kind of your squirrel wheel, if your interests are primitive and from your personal you have only one girlfriend and series, then most likely you are not like a man - you yourself will not be interesting.

Create interests for yourself as a person, be proactive, do not completely dissolve in everyday life and relationships, have your own hobbies, look for those places where you can realize your interests, study information on exciting topics, meet and exchange experiences.

At the same time, you should not drag each other in your interests. Let it be your personal sets of experiences and development, let it be your own victories and your personal growth. Thus, you will be able to fill each other - you will remain a little unknown and unexplored for each other. That's when that male look, full of admiration and interest, will begin to return.

Yes, victories can and should be shared, but it is not necessary to immerse yourself in the details and the process. You can be happy for your man that he has won some kind of cup in sports, he can be happy for you that you have finished embroidering a picture with beads. And it is not necessary to love his sport or your embroidery.

Instead of an afterword:

Balance is important in a relationship so as not to go to the other extreme. If you have only your own values, your own life, if you don’t intersect anywhere and in anything, then the question arises - why then are you together at all? Why do you need this relationship?

Therefore, it is the balance that is important: on the one hand, your interests, your life are important, on the other hand, contact and intersect with your man. A mutual desire to be together is necessary, common interests and goals are necessary in order for the relationship to develop and be needed by both partners.

To understand how to be interesting for a man, let's figure out what interest is in general, and for example, take a couple that became famous not so long ago.

Interest is a manifestation of attention to something, someone. In our case, to a partner in . And what does she consist of - the one who wants to captivate and become a life partner? Like any person, it has three parts: body, mind and soul.

The most popular way to interest a man is to attract him with his appearance, forms. An entire global industry is built on this. Fitness, fashion, cosmetics, plastic surgery, diets - all this huge mechanism works thanks to one single desire of a woman (!): to lure the stronger sex.

But psychology is a very subtle thing, and does not like rough interventions with pumped up hips or silicone breasts.

It is also known that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Whether it is true or not is not so important, but the fact that they like to eat tasty is an indisputable fact. And now attention! How does your loved one feel when he is full? He loses interest in food. Do you understand? Satiated, he wanders his eyes in search of something more exciting than a juicy, fragrant piece of meat. And so it will always be. After eating, he wants to satisfy the strongest hunger - curiosity! ..

Therefore, we move on to the next method of how to be interesting for a man - with the help of the mind. For some reason, this property of the weaker sex is not favored.

Although those who know a lot about life, prefer the sexiest quality in a woman - her mind.

In ancient Greece, getters were famous for their ability to carry on a conversation and have an opinion about different areas of life. The powers that be came to them not for sex, but for communication. But here, too, there is a fine line - not to become a “blue stocking” expounding dry knowledge, but to have a cozy conversation in a sincere atmosphere.

And here we turn to the third part, how to be interesting for - spiritual qualities. Respect, love, creativity, mood. Men are more likely to pay attention to women who radiate joy. But as for the sublime nature, then there is a danger of "flying into the clouds", where to stay, not noticing earthly life and surroundings.

What am I leading to?.. The main secret of how to be always interesting for a man is the harmony of three components: mind, body and soul. The question arises: “If she skillfully develops all of the above in herself, why does she need someone?” And here we come to the main point:

how to be interesting for a man? - means to be interesting to yourself!

Outwardly, hobbies, inner world - to be satisfied with yourself. After all, if you think about it, in the attention of a man, a woman is looking for confirmation of her qualities, which means she doubts them.

As an example, Anna Mironova and Yakov Shtolman are the heroes of a detective series. What do they do to each other? - its self-sufficiency. Do you understand? The goal is not sexual desire, but the desire for personal self-development and support to make the chosen one stronger - that's the true one!

In conclusion - a little secret on how to be interesting for a man -

when a woman is passionate about herself and her favorite business, a man has no choice but to win at least a small share of her attention to himself.