How to politely say no to your ex. Not ready for intimacy. Reasons for refusal may be

What to do if an unfamiliar young man who you do not like wants to meet you on the street? Or a familiar guy fell in love and wants a serious relationship? How to politely send a guy off so that he is not offended and understands that there is no point in persisting. In our article, we have collected the most delicate, soft, beautiful, original and tough ways to say “no” to a man. You will learn how to properly refuse a young man on the street, via SMS. In addition, we will talk about the most common mistakes girls make.

Most instances merge after simple phrases:

"I'm not in the mood";
"I have a boyfriend";
"I'm married".

In the latter case, attentive men may notice the absence of a wedding ring. If it exists or if there is an imitation of it, then the matter is greatly simplified.

There are also more persistent guys who continue to pull the strap of communication, despite your refusal. In this case, you need to dryly and strictly explain to him that you are not on the way:

“Sorry, but you drive me crazy”;
"I just made it pretty clear that I don't want to get to know each other."

At the same time, it is important to behave culturally: do not break into a shout and do not be rude. This can provoke conflict. Just speak dryly, make a formidable expression on your face. These words and intonations are enough.

But there are some individuals who do not understand even such formulations. Worse still, they are often drunk. In such a situation, it becomes even scary. What if I tell him now, and he will hit or start insulting? To get rid of insolent, use proven methods:

Give him a fake phone number. But do not give the number of your friend or boyfriend, you can create a conflict;
Take his number and say you'll call;
Find the nearest security guard or police officer and ask him for help;
Say you're about to start screaming.

Several original ways

Sometimes just saying "I'm not in the mood" is not enough. The easiest way out of the situation is to respond harshly and rudely. But sometimes it can't be done. For example, you are in a good mood and do not want to spoil it, or the environment is not suitable, the people around you may misunderstand everything.

In such a situation, you can answer harshly, but at the same time you must observe culture and politeness. You can call the guy aside, explain to him in private that you are not a couple. The main condition for politeness is a smile and a quiet tone.

If this does not help, then you can use a few funny and original refusals, so you keep the culture of communication and send the guy off.

Family man. Tell us about your family (real or fictional). You have two, three, six children, a handsome husband and a loving family. And you can turn the persistence of the newly-minted gentleman into an insult:
- "Do you think I'm a slutty girl?";
- “In your opinion, is it permissible for a girl not to value her family, to cheat on her husband?”
Commercialism. Go straight to the conversation about money, find out how much he earns, where and by whom he works, there is an apartment and a car. At the same time, show contempt for his achievements: "Ford - nonsense, two-room apartment - f-and-and." As proof, demand to buy your favorite ring with emeralds.
Loquacity. Guys don't like stupid and talkative girls. What are you talking about with your girlfriend? Talk to a guy about the same topics: dresses, cosmetics, stupid guys, your beautiful mother. Seize the initiative of communication completely, do not let him insert a word.
Silence. Don't make eye contact, don't answer questions, or use the standard wording: "Yes," "No," "I don't know." An advanced method is to completely ignore its existence. Leave all questions unanswered, you can pick up the phone and pretend that you are talking to your mother or girlfriend. Realizing that he looks stupid, talking to the wall, the annoying guy will leave on his own.

hard options

Real case from life.

– May I meet you?

- Not.

“Where are you going, shall I accompany you?”

I am looking for a quiet place for the grave.

- What, why?

- I killed a man, I think to drip.

Some individuals do not understand either the first time, or the second, or the third. Sometimes a young man deserves a rude rejection because of his boorish speech or outright stupidity. To answer harshly and not run into a conflict, it is enough to say ordinary phrases, but at the same time turn on metal and irritability in your voice. At the same time, it is advisable not to insult him, not to give him negative assessments, and even more so not to swear.

How to correctly send off a friend or acquaintance who has fallen in love

The most difficult situation is when you see that . There are two main differences. First, you want to maintain friendly or warm relations with him. Secondly, you will still see each other, if the refusal turns out to be unclear, vague, then the courtship will continue. At the same time, simple politeness in refusing the relationship will not save. Because the relationship is not destroyed by rudeness, but by the fact that you do not like him. You need to send it off neatly, but clearly and clearly, and at the same time maintain his self-esteem.

How to make the waiver clear:

Don't pull. If you see manifestations of sympathy and courtship, then either immediately decide on a serious relationship, or cool the ardor of a friend. The longer you wait, the more hope your friend has. Then it will become much more difficult to achieve cooling of its pressure.
Don't flirt with him. Sometimes you use coquetry as a way to cheer up a man, maintain a relationship. But in the case of an acquaintance in love, this will warm up his hopes. Your refusal will not cause the proper result.
Be serious. Don't smile, but speak with warmth and love. In order not to offend, apologize to him, explain that you do not want to offend him. You can smile and joke after he says that he understood everything.

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We advise you to look free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women". You will receive a 12-step step-by-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for years to come.

The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.

How to make a refusal soft and tactful:

Retire. Of course, you can’t do this in public, and even more so with mutual friends. You can take him aside, or you can offer to take a walk together. As an option, explain yourself in personal correspondence on social networks.
Polite, but specific. Apologies and assurances of friendly sympathy can easily smooth the situation. But at the same time, it is not necessary to create the impression that you like him as a man.
Praise him, appreciate the friendship. You can not praise him in all respects, just say a couple of compliments. But friendship with him can be praised 100%. Remind him how you helped each other, how you overcame various problems together, how much fun you have to communicate.

Formulations. The most important thing is to choose the correct wording for the “main phrase” so that the refusal is not offensive.

In order to "sweeten the pill" you can make a young man. This will help build relationships.

How to send a guy off by correspondence or SMS?

The easiest way to refuse a pen pal is to write a message on the Internet (in classmates or VK) or SMS. You save time, you can refuse with one phrase, and failure does not bring discomfort. There are two failure strategies.

Polite, but long refusal. You can pretend to be a busy person, you work two jobs, have children, and your life is constantly something going on. Over time, he will get tired of it, and he will stop pestering you. But another outcome is also possible - he will understand that you are making excuses and a “serious conversation” will begin.
A quick but polite rejection. You can choose another tactic - to refuse quickly and immediately. At the same time, it is desirable to maintain cultural and politeness of communication:
- “I liked talking with you, but we are not suitable for each other”;
- “I’m not in the mood for meetings and relationships, I’m sorry”;
- “I have already found a young man”;
- “I figured out myself and realized that we are not a couple.”

How to say no to an ex boyfriend

The most common mistake is a hard and abrupt rejection. Or vice versa, too soft and unstable. Choose the golden mean - a quiet, cold conversation, complete indifference and insensitivity. It will be difficult if you, but still retain sympathy for him. Then it is better to refuse at a distance, by correspondence or SMS.

To give weight to the refusal, you can argue it. List what you don't like and why you decided to end the relationship permanently. Does he not take care of himself, is too harsh with your loved ones, does not compromise? When he starts to assure you that he has changed, explain to him that it's too late.

You can not go to the individual and criticism. This will cause unnecessary emotions and lead to a quarrel. Build polite communication, a clear rejection in your head, and follow that plan. Try to avoid irritability in your voice. In order not to get angry yourself, do not get involved in discussions of cause and effect. They explained their position - said goodbye and dispersed.

Common Mistakes

According to psychologists, girls make 3 classic mistakes when they refuse a guy.

Lack of specifics. Girls often try to be polite and keep a cordial relationship. But at the same time, politeness and sympathy for a person are confused with abstract allusions. Speak directly, explain how you want to see the relationship with him.
The opposite behavior. That is, send the guy off and after a minute wink and smile. This creates the impression that your refusal is just a joke. In this case, the guy will begin to achieve with double perseverance. Often this mistake is made with friends and acquaintances. I would like to continue friendly relations, to make amends. As a way to keep relationships, they choose coquetry.
Play for time. This applies not only to delaying the “serious conversation”, but also to refusals like “I don’t have time right now.” Such formulations relieve you of excessive attention for a while, but later the situation will return to its previous course.
Harshness and insults. Girls make such a mistake when the boyfriend does not understand half-hints and polite refusal. Why ruin a relationship with a person? Maybe your paths will cross, and it will be useful to you. What if you like it later? It will be very difficult to build relationships after a rude rejection.

The relationship between a man and a woman is always an unsolved mystery. There are many questions here, but few answers. No wonder there is a catchphrase "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus." We are inhabitants of different planets, we think differently, we also perceive everything differently, but we cannot imagine life without each other. But, as life practice shows, mutual feelings do not always flare up between them. At the same time, it is very important not to hurt his feelings, not to violate his self-esteem.

There is no single answer to the question of how to politely refuse a guy to meet, since each person is an individual, and it is impossible for everyone to apply the same template. The main thing is to very delicately make it clear to the young man that you are completely different people and do not suit each other. Consider the fact that by offering you a date, a man already feels certain feelings of sympathy for you. Never switch to rudeness and aggressiveness, because male pride is extremely susceptible. Such behavior in the future will leave its negative imprint on his future relationship with the female sex.

How beautiful it is to refuse a guy in a relationship

If you are one hundred percent sure that you do not want to have any romantic relationship with a person, you need to tell him about it right away, without playing on his feelings, without encouraging him. You need to explain to the young man that you are flattered by his attention, but, unfortunately, there can be no relationship a priori. Tell him that he is a good person, a friend, but nothing more. The main thing is to convey to him that you do not have any romantic feelings for him. In no case do not flirt or flirt when talking.

Even if a man is not attractive to you, you should not tell him about it in the face, especially since you should not list all his shortcomings. Men are very susceptible and painfully endure such a negative attitude towards themselves. And having offended a person, you, thus, can permanently insecure him, which in the future will give a negative result in relations with the female sex.

One of the few options on how to refuse a guy without offending him is to say that, unfortunately, your heart is occupied with sincere feelings for another person. Or just try to offer to introduce him to a friend.

How to refuse a guy an offer to take a walk

If we are talking about a completely stranger and unfamiliar person, then in this situation you should not particularly “bother”, just say: “Sorry, I'm in a hurry.” Such a short, informative, “duty” phrase will surely save you from dating.

It doesn’t matter how and where you met the guy, but banal circumstances occurred - he liked you, and, unfortunately, to put it mildly, he didn’t really like you. He invites you to take a walk, but you don’t have a mutual desire, but you don’t know how to refuse a guy so that he is not offended. Naturally, we will look, at the very least, ridiculous when, on an offer to take a walk, we will say: “Sorry, I have a soulmate.” If you look, so far the man does not offer anything concrete. So, what reasons would be appropriate, and how beautiful it is to refuse a guy in this position:

Fatigue. You may say that you are very tired at work or school, etc.
Employment. Here the field is not plowed for your imagination - you can be busy from morning to night at work, you promised your mother to come help with the housework, your girlfriend to go to the doctor, etc.

But, in fact, everything in life is not as simple as we want it to be. Of course, there are times when he seems to have explained everything to a person in a popular and intelligible way, but he does not understand, or does not want to understand. Continues to persistently seek you and your attention. How to refuse a guy to meet in this scenario? Try to choose a tactic that would annoy your fan. Maybe his eyes will open, if not his ears.

We looked at some classic options for politely refusing a guy. Naturally, each of us must decide for herself how best to get out of such a piquant situation, relying on our knowledge, intuition, life experience, female wisdom, delicacy and tact.

In a woman’s life, situations often arise that require her to be able to say “no”. Moreover, speak firmly, in a tone that does not tolerate objections, realizing your own decision as the only correct one in the circumstances.

Such a step is especially important on the part of the fairer sex, when the latter is subjected to the onslaught of an unsympathetic, even unpleasant man. In today's article, you are offered practical advice that can help you properly and without serious consequences to refuse a gentleman further communication.

When you say “no,” stay friendly and as tactful as possible.

You understand that by refusing a man, one way or another, you still hurt his pride. Therefore, if you do not want to run into innocence in the form of insults and in some cases - guys are different - assault, discard rudeness and contempt.

Be decisive in this matter.

You do not need to commit violence against yourself, being in the company of a person unpleasant to you, to whom you experience indifference or, moreover, disgust throughout the evening.

Women make this mistake quite often if, for example, the acquaintance happened almost “blindly”: by phone or on the Internet. Better, finally seeing a man, having talked a little and not feeling the slightest interest in him, make it clear to the interlocutor that there will be no continuation. This is even more relevant in the case when a person is not liked already during the period of communication preceding a possible date.

You should not give a man false hopes.

Do not respond to a meeting proposal with phrases like “come on later,” “I can’t, I’m not ready yet,” “I’ll think about it,” “we’ll see,” etc., etc. Remember: by delaying the inevitable denouement, you create problems for yourself. It is better to put an end to this story in one fell swoop, without giving it further development.

Be sure to state the reason for the rejection.

The fan will certainly want to hear it, and he has the right to demand an explanation from you. Here you can turn on your fantasy: come up with a plausible reason, for example, “I already have a young man”, “I basically don’t start office romances.” By the way, do not be afraid to say directly that the man does not like. Just do it loyally, softly or by way of hints, half-joking (“only “nerds” in my taste) so as not to offend the annoying representative of the stronger sex.

It doesn't have to be a whole tirade.

The refusal should be extremely brief, but capacious and it is desirable not to cause additional questions.

Watch yourself from the side if the word “no” with all the accompanying phrases does not work on a man, and he continues to attack you.

Probably your speech and your behavior do not match. Most women flirt with members of the opposite sex unconsciously, without noticing it themselves. Flirting gestures include licking parted lips, a furtive glance from under your eyelashes, shaking your hair, winding a strand around your finger at the time of a conversation, a languid smile, a bright color of lipstick, etc.

If the fan is being overly persistent and all of the above suggestions have not worked, try the following steps:

Ignoring.

Having refused once according to the rules, stop paying attention to the person at all. See through him as if the man were not there; do not answer questions and do not keep up the conversation when he starts a conversation with you; immerse yourself in a book (or pretend to) or put on your headphones. At the same time, keep an indifferent, even cold expression on your face. Such maneuvers are guaranteed to work, because it’s not in vain that they say: “He who kills with a word finishes with silence.”

Lie from three boxes to the importunate gentleman to yourself so that once and for all discourage him from pestering you. Tell him about your terrible addictions (“I drink, smoke, go to haunted places”), if the representative of the stronger sex gives the impression of an unspoiled, cultured intellectual, and, conversely, about your abstruse hobbies and interests (“I listen to Mozart, read Stendhal and Flaubert, I adore opera and avant-garde") in the case of a man belonging to the category of broken and narrow-minded subjects.

Go on a date.

Yes, yes, go to a meeting with a boyfriend, listen to his fiery requests! But become an artist for one evening: play the role of a girl who is far from the ideal of a fan. Put on what came to hand, give up makeup, do not build a chic hairstyle on your head, and at dinner start a conversation about your illnesses or about the coming apocalypse, and always in a mournful voice. You will not see an annoying fan again!

Offer friendship.

If a person is really in love with you, he will agree to this option. After all, the latter will allow a man to freely communicate with you, to recognize you. You will gain a faithful comrade who will console you in difficult times, and share your joy with you, and give practical advice. Gradually, you are likely to get used to this person, see his positive aspects, feel sympathy for him, and maybe something more. Psychologists say: the strongest love (not falling in love!) Grows out of friendship. Good luck to you!

Nadezhda Ponomarenko

The ability to say “no” is just as important for a girl as mastering the basic skills of applying makeup, combining colors in a wardrobe, and preparing a more or less hearty dinner. And if you can still somehow manage without the latter, then, having no idea how to refuse a man and not ruin your relationship with him, you can seriously complicate your life.

Giving a turn from the gate to an annoying passenger who sat down on the next seat in public transport is one thing, but refusing a date for the son of a mother's friend is already completely different. You can’t dismiss him like an annoying fly with a strong word or a magazine. You won’t get off at the next stop and disperse like ships at sea - you will meet again and have casual conversations about the weather. Classmates, classmates, work colleagues, neighbors and acquaintances - denying intimacy to these men, like it or not, but you have to show tact.

Not knowing how to politely refuse a man, women often make such mistakes. Source: Flickr (greta_marlene)

How not to refuse a man if you don’t want to ruin your relationship with him

1. Show intemperance and rudeness.

Of course, you are already tired of his obsessive attention and have every right to personal space. But any insolence is unacceptable. First, because you are a girl. Do not spoil your image in the eyes of other potential boyfriends. And, secondly, think about it: since he chose you for the role of the object of his adoration, then he has at least one quality that deserves due respect from you - good taste.

2. Get personal and focus on his shortcomings.

The fact of refusal in itself is a serious blow to pride, which can for a long time discourage a guy from approaching girls closer than a cannon shot. Therefore, do not exacerbate the situation and try to honestly explain what the matter is. Believe me, if this is not a narcissist in front of you, then he himself is well aware of his shortcomings.

3. Regret.

If you are dealing with an adequate and sane guy, then pity is the last thing he would like to read in your eyes. Trying to regret and console, you will only make it worse - his manhood will be trampled on.

Not knowing how to politely refuse a man, women often make such mistakes. After that, many of the object of sympathy turn into an object for mockery and ridicule. A wounded male ego is a serious enemy, so it is better not to fight with him.

How to mitigate rejection and get dry out of the water?

If you are worried about how to politely refuse a man, prepare phrases that will help steer the conversation in the right direction in advance. There can be many options here, the main thing is to follow the basic 3 principles:

1. Speak persuasively.

A frank conversation is, of course, not a business report, but any of your words should sound just as confident and clear. Often men do not accept refusal just because it sounds completely unconvincing.

It is interesting! Psychologists assure us that how we speak matters more than what we say. Verbally (that is, through words), the interlocutor perceives no more than 15% of the information. The remaining 85% are read through non-verbal signs - intonation, voice timbre, body position, facial expressions, gestures, etc.

It is very difficult to convince a guy that you are not on your way if you use all kinds of female tricks during a conversation. You don’t need to straighten your curls, cross your legs, show off your neck and wrists, play with a shoe - in this case, the boyfriend will certainly regard your “no” as “yes, but later.”

Another taboo is to invade the intimate zone of a man. No need to try to sweeten the pill with touches, hugs and friendly kisses. Before starting a conversation, make sure that the distance between you is at least 50 cm. Otherwise, on a subconscious level, your actions will be perceived by a man as a game of cat and mouse, and then do not expect him to leave you alone.

2. Don't feed on promises.

When choosing the right phrases before refusing a guy, immediately cross out sentences with something like this:

"I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet."
"Let's not now."
"Let's not rush things."
“Perhaps I will think about it,” etc.

It is unlikely that in this way it is possible to cool the feelings of a man in love, rather, on the contrary - these words will only provoke him. It is not easy to refuse, but by delaying the moment of truth, you will bring even more torment to both him and yourself. Do not know how to refuse a person without offending him? Be honest with him, at least as far as your real intentions are concerned. Lying for good in this case is the worst thing that can be.

Try to be polite and sensitive, but at the same time categorical and inexorable - this is the only way you will be able to protect your personal space and not offend the guy. Source: Flickr (CEBImagery)

3. Provide a good reason.

The question of how to politely refuse a guy is easier to solve if you manage to argue your decision. Do not leave him at a loss and explain what the matter is, then you will have a much better chance of maintaining a friendly relationship. The main thing is that this reason should be:

respectful;
believable (banal excuses are no good if you really don’t want to offend him);
neutral (did not depend on him and had nothing to do with his personal qualities).

How to refuse a man so as not to offend him? Choose one of several options:

"I never have an affair at work, sorry, but it's a matter of principle."
"I'm sorry, but my heart is not free."
“You are really very good, but I only like calm homebodies, what can you do,” etc.

There can be any number of such reasons, it all depends on the specific situation. The main thing is that they correspond to all three parameters, which were discussed above.

Important! Psychologists know how to refuse a guy without offending him - start a phrase with a compliment. It should be sincere and touch on some strength of character, not appearance. So, one can note his courage, determination, determination, strength and assertiveness - in general, everything that can be considered a manifestation of masculinity.

Here is what you can say in response to a confession: “I am really amazed at your courage, not everyone can talk so openly about their feelings. Only truly strong men are capable of such an act. Sorry, but I already have a young man and I am sure that such a wonderful man like you will also soon have a worthy girlfriend.

How to deal with a rejected man after an awkward conversation?

As a rule, one episode of a showdown is enough for the guy to no longer return to this issue. But if you had to deal with a particularly persistent boyfriend, then you won’t be fed up with words alone - you will have to back them up with real actions. Here's what you can do to cool the ardor of an assertive gentleman and at the same time not ruin your relationship with him:

1. Ignore.

You've explained everything and you've been as accurate as possible. Now you are not responsible for his experiences. Do not try to be nice, fawn and try to compensate for his hurt feelings with your attention. Reduce your communication to a formal level. Be kind but detached.

2. Show your chosen one.

If you really have a young man, let him show himself to the eye of an admirer in love a couple of times. Everyone around should know that your heart is busy. If you don't have one yet, ask a close friend to play this honorary role. After all, it is one thing to impose your society on a defenseless girl, and quite another to risk facing an angry man one on one.

Feelings that we cannot reciprocate can bring a lot of unpleasant emotions. This is always a game on the edge and when the cards are revealed, not everyone manages to maintain good relations. Try to be polite and sensitive, but at the same time categorical and inexorable - this is the only way you will be able to protect your personal space and not offend the guy. Well, if nothing comes of it, and the relationship is completely ruined, don't worry too much. In the end, your own peace of mind is much more important than other people's fantasies.

Refuse men like a noble lady

Hello dear girls! We all sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to say “no” to a person. The right words do not always come in time, and most often the refusal looks rude or unreasonable. Of course, it is impossible to prepare for any situation, but today I would like to talk with you about how to refuse a man with dignity. After all, by your refusal, you can not only lower his self-esteem, but also forever discourage the desire to approach girls.

To begin with, I propose to think about why you refuse. Quite often, I became a witness to situations when a girl says “no” with words, but shows “yes” with her whole appearance. Therefore, you must clearly understand why you want to reject this or that offer of a man, whether it is an invitation for a date or a conversation about intimacy.

I do not recommend you to play "impregnability". Girls think that the more you refuse a man, the more he will strive. If you say no for these reasons, then be extremely careful in your expressions.

First, not all guys take hints. Secondly, you may be considered frivolous or too flighty, because today you are not, but tomorrow you are. Especially do not get carried away with such tactics, being in a long relationship.

One of my acquaintances tried to refuse a married man an offer to meet, but all the time she was looking for an opportunity to see him and shoot her eyes. She just wanted to play a game of flirting with him. But the man did not understand why she refused him, and she herself constantly sends non-verbal signals.

If you decide to reject a man’s offer, then do it clearly, distinctly and accessible. Do not hesitate, do not fawn, and do not try to justify your refusal. But how to do it competently and beautifully, so as not to offend a man, we will now find out.

How do girls usually act? They just send them to hell, sometimes even rudely and uncivilized. If you do not want to seem tactless, then your refusal must necessarily contain a compliment to a man, not just his appearance, but masculine qualities.

If you don't know how to compliment guys, it's okay. Read the article “How to compliment a man” and you can always find the right words in any situation.

So, your refusal should consist of a compliment, a short explanation of your negative answer, and a supportive phrase. Let's take a look at an example.

For example, a guy came up to you on the street and offers to meet you.

The first option is to simply ignore him or say “I don’t see the point in communicating, goodbye.”
The second option: “You must be very brave, since you are not afraid to approach girls on the street. Sorry, but I already have a young man, but I am sure that such a brave and self-confident man will definitely succeed in finding a worthy girl.

Agree, the second option looks much more polite, tactful and correct. The guy realized that you were not ready to communicate with him, but he did not have self-doubt, he would not think that something was wrong with him.

So in sex, you also need to be able to refuse correctly so that there are no further problems. If you have a stranger in front of you, then the answer will be approximately the same as above: you are so straightforward and frank, but I only do this with my loved one, I have no doubt that such a confident man will be able to find what he is looking for.

Common Mistakes

Coarseness. This is the most common mistake girls make. Under no circumstances should you be rude, call names or get personal. No matter how hard it is for you to communicate with a person, even if he does not understand your refusals at all and continues to bother with his attention, never allow yourself to switch to insults.

Most likely, this is your first and last meeting, why make a scandal out of it? Try to remain polite and cultured in every situation. Remember that you can always resort to the help of humor. This is especially important when dealing with a loved one.

Blurring of the phrase. Sometimes it is difficult for girls to immediately and directly refuse a handsome guy, for example. Therefore, the girl does not say “no” directly, but beats around the bush. You need to be direct, specific and to the point. What do you want to say to a man: let's stay friends; I need a break now; we need to break up.

Try to speak directly. So, one of my girlfriends could not directly refuse a guy money. She could not say a clear “no”, so she kept coming up with some phrases.

Divergence of behavior and words. I spoke about this above. When a girl says "no", but with all her appearance continues to show interest in a man. Read the article Breaking Relationship with Your Lover. Of course, there we are talking more about married women who have decided to get distracted on the side, but for sure you will find many useful thoughts for yourself.

What does your rejection phrase usually look like? Have you ever heard a rejection?

I wish you patience and self-control in any situation.

5 reasons to refuse a married man

What to do if the chosen one is married? Leave as far as possible. And the point here is not in morality and human rumor, but in common sense and the notorious instinct of self-preservation.

Of course, we girls have the right to make a mistake and to make our own choice, and we also remember perfectly well that you can’t order your heart ... However, the position of a healthy nervous system suggests the most correct decision regarding married men - to refuse. And that's why:

He only thinks of himself.“We stole a few hours from life to spend them together. Just you and me, ”may sound romantic, but in practice it turns out to be quite traumatic, predictable and hopeless. "Do not use such strong perfume - the wife can smell." "Let's better to you, and not to a restaurant, so that no one, God forbid, sees." “I’ll bring you a gift for March 8 in a couple of days, okay?” "Don't be upset, baby, you yourself understand everything." Almost every married man repeats this "mantra" with various variations.

Further more. Over time, your romantic evenings turn into listening to endless complaints about your wife and children, your mother-in-law and the unresolved housing issue. What kind of fireworks and magical sex are there when it is hard and hard for him, the unfortunate man? You have to listen and understand, so as not to injure once again the tender male soul, so pretty battered by a bitch wife and a cruel life. Are you also worried, interested and worried about something? “Be patient a little, baby, everything will be decided,” we hear in response. That's just decided most often in favor of legal marriage.

Always second. No matter how much your chosen one says that you are the first in his soul, but he goes to bed with her, spends the weekend with her, and her children bear his last name and call him dad. The facts are inexorable. And you get all sorts of nicknames a la “razluchnitsa”, “destroyer”, “bitch”, and, of course, “a decent woman would not do that”, “would be ashamed”, “what kind of upbringing” and “no conscience”.

Not all good men were taken apart before us. The truth is that married and unmarried men practically do not differ in merits and demerits, except that the former has a wife, and therefore additional responsibilities and chores. So before you rush into the abyss of empty promises and your own disappointments, take a closer look, perhaps among your entourage there is a young man without a ring on his finger who knows how to compliment, bring coffee to bed, give gifts and have intimate conversations. In addition, in such a relationship, there are much more chances of becoming the only woman for the beloved man. A significant plus.

Relations with a "married man" do not add health. In order to feel great, look and realize in life, a woman needs to sleep well, have a good rest, feel secure and confident. A married man cannot give it. A priori. Of course, the constant adrenaline rush from the tormenting questions “What if someone finds out?”, “What next?”, “When will it end?”, “Why doesn’t he call?” for a while they add shine to the eyes and increase activity. But not for long. This is followed by apathy, depression, insomnia and other unpleasant symptoms that clearly do not contribute to feeling full and happy.

Doubtful luck. Although psychologists and life experience show that men get divorced extremely rarely, but this happens. And this is where things get interesting. It turns out that the man had problems with his wife not only because she was a bitch and hysterical, she didn’t give life and married herself on a “flight”. It becomes obvious that our prince is a rather mundane creature who loves TV, beer, men's gatherings in bars and saunas, does not earn so much, and from this he pays a little alimony and a loan for a car. Only now the whole truth is being revealed: he has arthritis, an allergy to the sun and problems with erection. And the worst thing is that now you have to endure all this, understand and forgive. Why? Yes, because it was you who led him astray, took him away from his family, and now you owe him. In truth, one can doubt the need for such a "gift of fate."

So let the men live with those whom they married, get out of the crisis of family life by their own efforts, and not at the expense of the love and devotion of another woman. We will choose those who are ready to take full responsibility for their lives and actions, and do not rush about between two fires, making both themselves and everyone around unhappy.

How to correctly and beautifully refuse a man

Women tend to think that men are the stronger sex. Partly so. But, sometimes there is more vulnerability and resentment in them. They are only stone blocks in appearance, but at heart they are little boys who are afraid to hear “no”. But they will have to hear this “no”. And your task is to make sure that they swallow this pill without too much bitterness.

This technique gives great results if you meet an aggressive and assertive man. For them, all the veiled words will mean that their actions must be even more assertive. "No" should sound short, not in raised tones, but with metal in your voice. Naturally, without insults, sarcasm and attacks towards the fan. A cold "no" and perhaps in a circle.

Frontal attack sounds understandable, convincing and categorically. You can just say "no" without adding anything to it. Maybe with a little explanation.

For example: “No, I can’t come”, “No, I have other plans”, “No time”. And do not forget to completely remove flirting, coquetry and affectation. Do not react to provocations and do not get fooled by dragging out the conversation. You can listen to claims and suggestions, but do not mind, do not ask clarifying questions, but simply say “no” again.

This is the softest technique of refusing a fan. Your "no" should be followed by "I'm sorry." For example, "I'm sorry I gave false hope", "I'm sorry, but I already have a boyfriend", "I'm sorry, but I'm not that girl."

The essence of the technique is that a woman should listen carefully to a man, showing her empathy and awkwardness, but at the end be sure to say “no”.

This technique will help to refuse a man whom you have known for a long time. Suppose this is a childhood friend who looked after you at school, and now, after 10 years, the same fire of feelings flared up in him. Tell him about yourself. Everything that we experienced during this time: about my husband, about my parents, about friends and work.

Tell him in such a way that he himself understands that there is no place for him in your life.

Once is an accident. Two is a coincidence. Three or more is the rule. This is exactly how this tactic works. You need to deduce a pattern in the fact that your union is labeled "no". For example, you are married, live in another city, and your mother will not accept him. It is difficult for a man to fight on three fronts at once. In his subconscious, a pattern will be strengthened in the unreality of relations with you.

And even if he moves to your city, achieves the location of your mother, and the husband moves, because it’s not a wall, then the subconscious mind will tell him that other three reasons will immediately grow.

This technique is especially suitable for rejection: a man older than you, superior and wealthy.

“Call me in an hour, oh better tomorrow. No, I can't tomorrow. Let's meet next week, shall we? Sorry, it's going to be busy all week. How about in a month? Again, I can't. You know what, but call me "never". Yes, never. Are you tempted to call me "never"? - approximately such a dialogue should sound. And a man should hear and understand him. Reschedule meetings, pull the "cat by the tail" as much as you can. The man himself will get tired of this uncertainty. And a smart man is well aware that this temporary delay is nothing more than a veiled refusal.

This technique is suitable for communicating with assertive fans who do not tolerate objections. But over time, they can simply dry out on their own.

You can't always knock on a closed door. On top of that, they won't get a straight rejection and they won't feel knocked out.

You can give a fan one slow dance, but during it explain to the man that your future life will be without him. Give him something you can afford to take away the feeling of desolation and failure from his heart.

If he says: “I either have everything or nothing,” and that’s great. So you will be freed from the dance, but he made the decision. Even more than that, he refused to dance with you.

“I can’t, but my friend will accept your offer with pleasure.” A little pandering, replacement of the soloist, and the trick is in the bag. Perhaps you can really arrange the privacy of a single girlfriend with a great male specimen.

When refusing a man, no matter how you decide, remove all female things from your arsenal. Don't provoke him. Men tend to hunt and conquer. Do not lure him into your traps if you really want him to get away from you. Any of your coquetry will keep him on a leash. If you use all the female charisma, then you need this fan and the topic of rejection is not in front of you.

Friendship with his entourage

An excellent tactic, for example, is to ask a married man about his wife. And not just ask, but praise her, say that she is beautiful and smart. Invite a man to visit with your wife and say that the husband has long wanted to meet them.

Compliment - Refusal - Compliment

If you met a man in social networks, and in person he turned out to be completely different, then give him a portion of compliments with a mandatory refusal. For example: “You are a wonderful person, but, unfortunately, nothing will come of it with you, but I am sure that you will find a worthy mate for yourself.” Without unnecessary sweetness, but with the obligatory stroking of the "fur".

If the above points did not work and the boyfriend turned out to be persistent in excess, then you can try:

Ignore. Look through it as if there is no admirer, as if you are looking through glass at the street. Turn on complete indifference, you are not just deaf and dumb, but men are not. And remember the phrase "he who kills with a word finishes with silence." If a man did not understand anything the first time, then you will have to finish him off.
deceive. Don't have a boyfriend? Then "borrow" it for a while from a friend, and demonstrate it to a fan. Better if the "loan" is a boxer. No children? Say that four are sitting at home and asking for food.
Spend an evening with him. Do you want an evening? Give it to him. Just be the opposite of his girlfriend. Let a friend come with you, because she is lonely. Let mom, grandmother and neighbor call all the time. Let your school friends meet - they are all drug addicts and alcoholics. Cursing, spitting on the floor, wearing scary clothes and not washing your hair. It's all exaggerated. But you need to arrange a "chic evening" somewhere in this vein.
Offer friendship. "I will always be your friend." If it suits him, well, give it to him. Maybe fall in love?

How to refuse a man in a relationship

If you are a woman, you have already faced the following problem many times: how to politely refuse a man when he asks for a visit, invites you on a date, or asks for your phone number.

You don’t always want to go on a date, you don’t always want to give an extra reason for a relationship if you are sure that you don’t like this man and you don’t want to have any serious relationship with him. At the same time, you do not want to seem rude, offend a person, especially if he is your old acquaintance.

There are several ways in which you can politely and tactfully let a man know that you do not want to have any further serious relationship with him. You can check out some of them.

Be direct and open, but kind

It is better to say right away that you do not want the development of further relations. Here you can refer to anything - you have a fiancé, you are not ready for a relationship, a man is not your type, etc. It is better to immediately tell the whole truth (well, or almost all) than to give a man hope for the future.

Come up with some nonsense

Quite ridiculous stories often help, which make it clear to a man that you are not interested in him. Describe a situation in which you will be directly involved. Let it seem strange to your fan, but he himself may refuse to venture to invite you on a date. Some girls even go for the following trick: they tell something terrible about themselves, they say, they drink a lot, smoke, walk, etc. This discourages any desire for a normal man to pursue you.

Polite refusal without hesitation and doubt

Use your best efforts to give a polite denial in an acceptable manner. At the same time, your words should sound confident, without manifestations of indecision, otherwise the man will regard this as an attempt to play with him. Do not be rude in your refusal, do not be harsh, but be firm in your intentions.

The shortest failure

In some cases, a very brief waiver helps. You should not even tell any stories, compose fables. Just say that you can not meet a man right now or give your phone number. Sometimes the interlocutor may be offended, but this will not be for long, since you have not done anything wrong to him.

Last phrase rule

Remember that the last phrase spoken in a conversation is always remembered best. Therefore, with the last sentence, you should make it clear to the man that you are really sure of your refusal. Your phrase should not end with such expressions: "Well, I'll think about it" or "Everything is possible, but not now", etc. If you really do not want attention from this or that boyfriend, as politely as possible, let him understand this. The same applies to those cases when you do not want to offend your old friend who is in love with you. You should not give him hope with such phrases if you do not want to meet him. Let it be painful at first, but then he will definitely establish friendly relations with you.

How to refuse a man and not spoil the relationship with him?

The correct solution to the question of how to refuse a man and not ruin relations with him lies in the reasons for the “delicious situation”. So you have to look for the best way out when you like a man and you don’t want to spoil your relationship with him at all. But the time for intimacy has not yet come (due to moral principles or other circumstances). Rejection is also inevitable if a man does not evoke a response in you, however, respect for a person or social status requires special tact and prudence in actions.

In addition, “throw into the pool with your head” is not worth it when:

the man already has another lover or wife;
he is a collector of love affairs;
does not share your views and values;
is a slave to bad habits.

It is quite natural that a woman does not want to humiliate herself with unworthy connections. But a man who sincerely loves and respects her will make an effort to rise to the desired level, but will not demand a “lowering the bar”.

How to tactfully refuse a man, “without burning bridges behind you”?

It is much easier to achieve understanding if you speak with a person in a language that he understands, or rather, focus on a value system that is understandable to him. So, a man interested in a career can explain his refusal by being busy at work, and a connoisseur of family values \u200b\u200bwill be more understandable arguments in the form of related cases. In this case, there will be no unpleasant "draft", and there will be a chance for new attempts.

A man will not be offended by an indirect refusal, presented through a story or an anecdote that dots the “I” in a positive form, full of humor and cheerful mood. If this person causes sincere respect and has done a lot of good for you, you should use the form of a compliment when the partner is told how beautiful, attentive, etc., but relations with him are possible only in a brotherly or friendly way.

Often a woman herself does not know how best to act. In this situation, it is worth hinting that you need to think, or turning the situation into a joke (but always in a friendly tone). Funny and funny speeches will help the guy relax and tune in to a peaceful note, which will help delay the decision, carefully weigh all the arguments and your own feelings.

How to refuse a man, but sweeten the pill?

Looking for the best way to refuse a man and not ruin relations with him, first of all, you should not allow him to feel rejected, unnecessary and finally expelled from the world of his beloved woman.

But since any living soul deserves love and respect, the main thing is to try to cause as little pain as possible, sincerely empathizing with the one who has to be refused. You can dispel gloomy colors with the help of a compromise, when a person is offered some kind of alternative in the form of assistance in a particular business, joint work, friendly communication or organization of a new acquaintance.

In order for the guy who was refused to be able to save face, he should not have the feeling of a banal “excuse” because of your inarticulate muttering and fear of looking into your eyes. Also, the arguments will not be heard, and the guy will consider himself deceived with a large number of hastily spoken words. However, the girl should not feel guilty and long-windedly apologize, giving false hope. It is better not to exacerbate the situation by limiting yourself to a concise, brief answer.

If a girl plans to refuse a man so that he shows even more interest, and thereby “bind” the guy to her more tightly, it is worth raising not only her own “value”, but also the partner’s self-esteem. In this case, impregnability only strengthens desire. Here it is worth hinting at mutual sympathy and expressing confidence that the man will have enough tact and patience not to rush things. The delay can be explained by the desire to verify the depth of feelings and get to know the young man better.

How to refuse a man: A simple and effective way

From time to time, we all find ourselves in a situation where we need to refuse a person. Definitely tell him no.

But this rejection is not always easy. Sometimes, surprising ourselves, we say “yes” instead of “no”. Most often, such situations occur in communication with men. Especially when the relationship is just starting or when they are going through a crisis.

Women do not know how to refuse a man correctly. Not because they are reliable and ready for any concessions. Because no one taught them. There is a misconception that once you refuse a man, you can lose him forever. How many women have been ruined by this delusion! How many were forced to do something that they later regretted ...

Women, more than men, tend to give in and are sensitive to what others might think of them. With their refusal, they are often afraid to offend a man, hurt his pride. As a result, such good intentions bring problems on their heads. A woman too often says "no" guiltily and uncertainly. He tries to justify himself, offers to agree on a compromise option and remain friends. As a result, the man does not take her refusal seriously. And he tries with all his might to convince a woman, sometimes even to intimidate or insult. How to refuse a man correctly? There is one simple and effective way. Let's find out which one.

Often, women tend to think for a long time "how to refuse a man." They are tormented by questions: “How can he say this? What will he think of me? How will he react to my words? And this is one of the most important mistakes women make - they worry more about him than about themselves.

Believe me, you should not get hung up on the question of what will happen after your “no”.

Think about yourself—your desires, your opinions, and your expectations. You have the right to decide whether you want to meet this man, whether you are ready to negotiate with him and under what conditions, whether you need him. And no one can impose themselves on you.

If you value and love yourself, then the question of how to refuse a man will be solved very easily for you. You just answer no.

If self-love is not all right yet, do it. Calmly say no. No need to justify. Or vice versa - to blame: “How dare you offer me such a thing ?!” If you don’t want to offend a man with a refusal, simply say “no”.

If you doubt your resolve or are afraid to start making excuses, try to say “no” and leave. Especially if you understand that you can be persuaded to change your mind and force you to comply. Say that simple short word "no" and walk away.

Then you will not, with your guilty look, provoke a man to turn your “no” into a “yes”. After all, your confused face gives a man hope and excitement. And he thinks: "Nothing, nothing, I'll persuade her now." So, in order not to tempt a man once again, say the word "no." Pronounce it confidently and easily. And on this the problem of how to refuse a man will disappear by itself.

By the way, if you are required to explain, remember that you have every right not to give them. “No” is the magic word, it can protect you from problems. No wonder they say - no, and there is no trial. Learn to appreciate yourself and your desires. Don't be coaxed into doing something you don't want to.

How to politely say no to your ex. Not ready for intimacy. Reasons for refusal may be

Several original ways

hard options

How to correctly send off a friend or acquaintance who has fallen in love

How to send a guy off by correspondence or SMS?

How to say no to an ex boyfriend

Common Mistakes

How beautiful it is to refuse a guy in a relationship

How to refuse a guy an offer to take a walk

How not to refuse a man if you don’t want to ruin your relationship with him

How to mitigate rejection and get dry out of the water?

How to deal with a rejected man after an awkward conversation?

Related videos

Refuse men like a noble lady

Common Mistakes

5 reasons to refuse a married man

How to correctly and beautifully refuse a man

Friendship with his entourage

Compliment - Refusal - Compliment

How to refuse a man in a relationship

Be direct and open, but kind

Come up with some nonsense

Polite refusal without hesitation and doubt

The shortest failure

Last phrase rule

How to refuse a man and not spoil the relationship with him?

How to tactfully refuse a man, “without burning bridges behind you”?

How to refuse a man, but sweeten the pill?

How to refuse a man: A simple and effective way