Husband changes how to behave: advice from a psychologist

Every woman, getting married, dreams of love and family happiness. But there is nothing permanent in this world: we change, relationships change. It's good if love turns into a habit of being close to your soulmate. And it is impossible to imagine life without him, because he became dear and close.

However, there have been changes, and suspicions of her husband's infidelity were confirmed. You feel a strong shock. First of all, this is a powerful blow to pride and self-esteem. Negative emotions are overwhelming. Many questions arise: why, for what, how and so on. You have to decide how to live on, how to behave when your beloved husband is cheating.

Work with your emotions. What happened causes the most powerful and destructive emotions for your health. One wave of the hand or a call to calm down does not get rid of them. Emotions and feelings should be worked out. Anger, resentment and many other negative emotions are bad advisers. If you manage to speak out and cry, it will become easier. You can write everything on paper and then burn it. Try not to close up. Life goes on. Pay more attention to parents and children. Set a time limit for suffering. Tell yourself: "I will grieve for two days, and then think and decide." After the indicated time, it will really become easier, and the decisions made will be more adequate.

What can't be done? Psychologists do not advise throwing out pain, grief, resentment on the head of an unfaithful spouse. The effect will be negative. Requests and prayers, insults and accusations will not have any result. Therefore, do not rush with showdowns and threats of divorce. As far as possible, be reasonable, do not allow actions for which you will be ashamed later.

Analyze the current situation. Think and answer the questions, do you want to maintain a relationship with this man, are you able to forgive him. Are you ready to end the relationship and put the years spent together out of your head? Or are you overwhelmed by the desire to avenge the humiliation experienced? Every woman makes her own choice in this situation. But we must not forget that hasty decisions and actions can be erroneous. Including .

Divorce- the first decision that comes to my wife's mind. The pain and despair caused by the betrayal of a spouse cause a desire to leave. It should be remembered that divorce will not bring relief. Infidelity and divorce are too difficult a test for a woman. Of course, everything will pass, time will heal, but what will be the consequences of this step? Divorce is often the biggest misfortune in a woman's life. Therefore, make the decision to part with your husband with a clear head.

Desire for revenge will not bring satisfaction. They, as a rule, have a destructive effect on the soul and human health. Cheating in revenge with a casual partner in order to arouse the jealousy of a man is a mistaken step for a woman. Which will lead to the fact that you will ruin your reputation and humiliate yourself not only in the eyes of your ex-spouse, but also the people around you.

Maintaining marital relations with a cheating husband is a very difficult choice. With the betrayal of a still beloved man, you will have to realize that you did not know the person with whom you lived together for many years at all. He is different and not your property, he is capable of doing things that you will not like. From now on, it will be difficult for you to trust him and in many situations you will have to rely only on yourself.

The painful question, who is the woman with whom your husband cheated, will not give you rest. But do not look for information that discredits her, and do not ask your friends about her husband's mistress. How can this help you? Do not try to meet with her and sort things out, do not make a scandal when you meet her. It is very difficult, but your inappropriate behavior will work against you. Don't compare yourself to her. Yes, she is younger and prettier, but you are wiser and stronger. Maintain your self-respect. That's who you need to sort things out with, so it's with your husband.

You need to talk to your husband. Calmly talk about what happened. Do not break into a cry and do not turn the conversation into a banal scandal with accusations of infidelity. Here it is important to hear your spouse: what he thinks about the crisis in your life and what he is going to do next. After all, infidelity is a crisis of marital relations. You will never be the same now. Find out how the infidel feels about what happened. Perhaps he repents and considers treason a mistake. Or he has a serious and long-term relationship on the side. Does he want to save his family or go to his mistress. Only then will you be able to make the right decision and think about how to proceed.

Understand and forgive. If it was an accidental betrayal or a fleeting hobby, then you are likely to accept his repentance, forgive your spouse. But forgiveness is hard. After all, it will be necessary to live on and never seriously or jokingly remind of the betrayal of the future. Otherwise, you will poison the life of yourself and your husband. It is difficult to believe in the sincerity of feelings that have changed a person. Suspicion and surveillance will torment and will not bring peace and will only worsen the situation.

It also happens that everyone around you knows about the long-term connection of your faithful with his mistress, and you did not even suspect. Perhaps the spouse values ​​\u200b\u200byour family very much, and is afraid of losing, and does not even consider his mistress for the role of his wife. Do not rush to issue an ultimatum or put out the door. With such actions, you will push him into the arms of his mistress. Pause and let him make an informed decision. If he decides to stay with you and save the family, then you have to seriously work on yourself, on your relationship with your husband. Starting from scratch is a good message, but it can be very difficult to implement. But you are a woman, the keeper of the family hearth, and it is you who will have to restore everything that was lost and destroyed.

Love triangle. If your spouse does not want to break off relations with his mistress, then you find yourself in a situation of a love triangle. For the wife, this is humiliating and is associated with difficult experiences. And it's very comfortable for a man. As soon as a conflict or some kind of difficult problem arises in the family, the man leaves for a while to his mistress. And such relationships can last for a long time. Many women resign themselves and wait for their husband to calm down, come to his senses and decide. Here to make a choice, and the decision is yours. But think about what caused this situation. Answer the question, what role and what place did your husband take before the betrayal in your life. After all, often in the first place are children, work, career, and then the husband. Sometimes he simply does not have a place in a modern family. And there will always be another woman in whose life he is in the first roles.

How to behave in this situation? You can put an ultimatum and demand to make a final choice. But are you ready for the fact that he will not choose you? Many women are afraid of this and silently endure the constant betrayal of their spouse.

Prudence and self-esteem will allow you to adequately pass all the tests. If a man prefers to go to his mistress, try to maintain friendly relations with him, especially if you have children. Hatred has a detrimental effect on the health of any person. Take care of yourself for a future happy life and move forward. According to statistics, only 5% of men leave the family and after a while half returns to the family.

health care should be your most important task. What does cheating mean compared to a lifetime? All the negative feelings that a wife has to endure when a loved one cheats provoke many female diseases. Do not dwell on your suffering, do not cherish it, find funny moments in this situation, save friends and expand your circle of interests. Life goes on. They love the strong, the beautiful, the wise. It is impossible to give an exact answer to the question of how to behave with your husband during infidelity. Every situation is different. The advice of psychologists in this article will help you avoid mistakes. The decision is up to you, try to be prudent! And we wish you happiness!