Various cool statuses. Cool statuses in English with translation. What will you find with us?

I study and work - combining the unpleasant and the useless!
I’ll blow your mind, drink some blood, shake your nerves, throw you off balance. In short, I will free your body from excess burden!
There's nothing more invigorating in the morning than your phone slipping out of your hands and falling on your face just as you're setting the alarm for another 5 minutes.
A husband without a wife is like an oak tree without a woodpecker.
Excellent students! Always let your C students cheat! And then, perhaps years later, they will hire you!

Help from a psychologist is, of course, good! But just yelling obscenities is much cheaper.
It's good to be a sock. You lie somewhere, people are always looking for you, no one goes anywhere without you. Plus, you have a second half. Bliss.
Everything that is not done before 30 must be done after!
If you are considered a camel, spit on everyone!
Some have cute dimples on their cheeks, others have a sexy mole above their lip. And I have mind-blowing bags under my eyes.

My ex asked me to give him farewell sex. I had to remind him that the best gift is a gift made with his own hands.
The water cycle in nature is when you wash your car, the water evaporates from it, turns into a cloud and the next day, bitch, it rains!
If you're nervous, pull yourself together... or give it to a good one!
As Russian scientists have established, fasting helps not only normalize weight, but also pay off your mortgage.
I’m one of those people who will post a photo of myself, look at it for two minutes, find all the flaws and delete it to hell.

That we are all about me, yes about me. Let's talk about you! How do you like me?
You can't tell a boring person that he is boring, otherwise he will start to find out why, and this is so boring.
If you don’t take a photo of yourself, no one will take a photo.
Dear Money!!! I really miss you. I promise to buy you a new wallet. If you want, you can invite your relatives from Europe or America. I won’t object - I’ll accept everyone!!!
My cat is like a Hachiko. And also zhratiko, sratiko and ssatiko, spatiko, oratiko, and it’s impossible to sleep at night.

So I’m wondering... they built a metro... they dug tunnels... and where is the earth that was dug out from there?
ANYONE CAN OFFEND A BOXER... BUT NOT EVERYONE HAS TIME TO APOLOGIZE.
- Dear, imagine... you are standing, and all around you are greenery, money... - I say again, I won’t go to the dacha!!!
Cocktail with mint leaves - mojito. And a cocktail with hemp leaves is hihito.
You said that dyed hair The cat left it on your bed and scratched your back through your clothes! Yes, I didn’t believe it for a long time either, until the dog left me with a hickey on my neck!

No matter how much bad things they say about me, I always have something to add. 113

Nothing limits your actions like the phrase “do what you want”... 84

Guys get jealous when they love you. Girls are jealous even when they don't love you. 85

Can't find an approach to me? Go around! 243 (1) - cool statuses

Comrade, let’s go check out the cash... 17

Nothing strengthens faith in a person more than 100% prepayment. 29

If you know exactly who is to blame, don’t give yourself away. 56

I'm going with eyes closed and a smile from ear to ear, towards future happiness, through a field of rakes... 125

From the statement: “How do I feel…” Crossed out. “How I did you all...” Crossed out. “You should all go to...” Crossed out. “Please grant me another vacation.” 37

Dear Money! I miss you very much. I promise to buy you a new wallet. If you want, you can invite your relatives from Europe or America - I won’t object. I will accept everyone! 38

I want chronic health, progressive happiness, recurring success, hypertensive salary, and an eternally pregnant wallet without the threat of miscarriage!))) 51

The best way To test a guy's loyalty - ask the sleeping man in the morning a question: "Will you go to yours or will you stay with me?" 76

According to statistics, the phrase “How huge he is!” Most often heard by a spider. 75

Briefly about yourself: Year of manufacture 1991, Mileage 20, Color light, Height 162, Lights blue, Documents on hand, Tuning present, Body not damaged, not rusty, Roof in place, but no brakes. All options, I start with half a turn. 65

You can't look in the mirror when you eat - you'll eat away your happiness. And when you drink, you drink. And it’s better not to hang a mirror in the toilet at all... 74

Sex is when he wants, erotica is when she wants, porn is when both want. 52

If you don't have the money to change your wardrobe, change your job! For the new team, all your old clothes are new. 38

Flowers should be for no reason... Happiness should be unique... The house should be warm... The weather - and it doesn’t matter what the weather is! But love should be mutual. 52

All people bring happiness - some by their presence, others by their absence) 74

What would I give to a person who has everything? I would punch him in the jaw. 21

If men knew what women were thinking, they would court twenty times more boldly. 46

Only nesting dolls can live soul to soul. 73

I need to call my mom and tell her where I am. - Hello, mom? Where am I? 55

The little boy was watching porn. I didn’t understand the movie, but I was sweating a lot. 30

The main thing is that they are waiting for you at home, and not waiting for you 60

Chocolate tastes twice as good if you can’t have it) 45

The Lord protects us all. But the shelf life is different for everyone. 55

I am protected by the great ancient Egyptian god of peace and tranquility - DANUNAH. 77

Every day those around me prove to me that life without a brain is real. 76

No one will die a virgin: life will fuck us all. 38

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free. Those who overcome their fears will become truly free.

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Most people lead their lives in quiet despair. Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever? Forever and ever! Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever? Forever and always! Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. Actions do not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. Every solution breeds new problems. Every decision creates new problems. Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. Generosity gives more than you can, but pride takes less than you need.

Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it Love lives forever. Love lives forever. The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep. The lion and the calf can lie together, but the calf cannot sleep. In a competition of love we’ll all share in the victory, no matter who comes first. In the competition of love, we all share in the victory, no matter who comes first. There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. There is nothing worse than stupidity. Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. Life is a wise man's dream, a fool's game, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cause every little thing gonna be all right. Don't worry about anything because every little thing will be okay. Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. Madness in people is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations and eras, it usually exists. Some people give and forgive, some people get and forget. Some people give and forgive, some people take and forget. There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. There is no cure for death or birth; All that remains is to enjoy the interval. Energy and persistence conquer all things. With energy and perseverance you can achieve any goal. Each of us bears his own Hell. Each of us is burning in our own hell. In literature, as in love, we are astonished at the choice made by other people. In literature, as in love, we are amazed at the choices of other people. Never complain and never explain. Never complain and never give explanations.

Are you the life of the party, a cheerful person, do you like to use VKontakte, ICQ or classmates? You can also amuse your friends on social networks by posting witty, cool status, which will make the most gloomy and serious visitor to your page smile. No sense of humor to modern man can’t survive: there is so much stress, problems and difficulties around. Make people forget about them at least for a while: let them smile when they visit your page. Here you will find the latest, constantly updated collection of funny, amusing, witty, cool phrases.

What will you find with us?

When you enter this section, get ready to laugh heartily and sincerely at the jokes collected here. The most funny statuses will delight you with their wit and novelty. We have a wide selection of the most unique phrases:

funny declarations of love for those who can appreciate subtle, romantic humor;
the most new cool statuses for pages on any social networks (updated daily);
witty statements with which you can express your own attitude towards life or even a specific person;
funny jokes on the phone.

If you haven't found it yet sayings for status are cool and funny, you very successfully wandered into this particular section on our website: you yourself will laugh heartily and amuse your friends with a funny statement displayed in your status.

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So being a regular user of our site is a pleasure, the opportunity to constantly update the coolest statuses on your personal pages on social networks. Smart, good jokes will always cheer up those who surround you and understand you: give them a smile - share with them cool status from our website.

Help from a psychologist is, of course, good! But just yelling obscenities is much cheaper.
It's good to be a sock. You lie somewhere, people are always looking for you, no one goes anywhere without you. Plus, you have a second half. Bliss.
Everything that is not done before 30 must be done after!
If you are considered a camel, spit on everyone!
Some have cute dimples on their cheeks, others have a sexy mole above their lip. And I have mind-blowing bags under my eyes.

The newest cool quotes and statuses

I always knew that I would grow into a professional hassle!)
Stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work, I text my boss: “Hey, ass with traffic jams, I’ll be late.” He answers: “Hello, I’m an asshole with traffic jams.”
To remove the red-eye effect, you need to wake up, sober up, and everything will go away on its own!
Relationships are when you are determined that a man will conquer you, and the man is also determined that you will conquer him.
Cats and women always do what they want. It's time for dogs and men to get used to it.
New funny quotes about life - Most often, after pronouncing the thesis “YOU LIVE ONCE,” I start doing such crap that the chances of surviving until the morning are sharply reduced.
There are two troubles in Russia - frost and thugs.
They talked enthusiastically for two hours about music, painting, and architecture. When he said that he was married, there was immediately nothing to talk about with him.
I'll go to Instagram. I'll see which stores have signed up for me today.
Today is exactly one year since I will go for a run tomorrow morning.
After a bottle of cognac, the conversation turns into an information leak.
If I decide to make someone happy, then nothing can save him!
Little tricks: using a rotary hammer is half the price at night if a two-tariff electricity meter is installed.
Can a decent girl live in a panel house?
A zero account balance saved me from a drunken confession.
From his loving eyes, she realized that she could take everything from him...
There is nothing worse in the world than distance. The distance between the button and the hole on jeans.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, lie down like a seal.
It happens that you are talking to a person, and he has this look: “The light is on, but there is no one at home.”
Friends are such people: either they eat, or they drink.
Boring? Selfies don’t make you happy and you want to eat and cry at the same time? Approach a man with the question “What’s between us?” The game has begun!
My erotic dream for this weekend: to sleep in all positions!
If a young man is shorter than you when you are wearing stiletto heels, replace him with someone else. Don't give up stilettos!
21st century: “Dear Grandfather Frost. The boy Vlad is writing to you. Please read this letter to the end. This is not spam, this is real opportunity earn..."
New cool quotes about girls - Last night I closed the window and saw a star falling. I made a wish. This afternoon I cracked my lip... I got the hint.
So you are born, grow up, study, go to college, then go to work, get married, you have children, you go out with them... And the grandmothers near the entrance are still the same!