Different strategies of behavior with those who offend you. I am humiliated in any society

How to respond to insults from your husband, work colleagues, superiors, on the Internet, at school and other places? To answer this question, you need to find out how to behave in certain circumstances.

We live in an age of speed and radical change. People have stopped communicating, and if they do, it is only in their free time, which is becoming less and less. No, we are not talking about the fact that people do not talk, do not solve problems, labor issues. You can sit next to an employee for years, but still not understand who his family is, whether he has a wife, children. We are now talking about something else - people have ceased to understand each other. Everyone is in the position of a racer - for money, for fame, wealth, status, recognition, authority, etc. and in the heat of the chase, we do not notice important moments.

Let's remember the last trip on public transport - metro, bus, trolleybus, tram. Let's visually imagine the faces of the passengers - everyone looks in "their" direction, thinks about something and looks more like a bundle of "nerves". And it’s worth the slightest provocation - he didn’t sit down like that, accidentally stepped on his toe, touched his hand. A conflict immediately arises, moreover, more like a fierce fight between animals - screams, insults, humiliation, up to physical assault.

It is not in vain that the old people say that people have lost something important, a thin thread that contributes to complete mutual understanding and harmony. In the old days, things were different. And this is not a myth, but the truth. There were warm words, people supported each other, talked with neighbors, invited colleagues home for the holidays.

And how wonderfully solemn events were held - May 1, May 9 and other holidays. Tables were lined up in a row in the courtyard, covered with clean and white tablecloths, on top of which each tenant of the house brought something of his own, homemade and tasty. And what now - there is a feeling that people are trying to look for the worst words and expressions, they strive to make their counterpart as painful as possible, to strike in the very heart, to plunge a knife into the back.

How to understand - offend or do not know how to joke

Be that as it may, you should not assume that everyone around you is waiting to inflict insults. Fortunately, there is still Life on this planet, that is, people who are able to behave adequately and not be rude to their neighbors and others have survived. But still, there are moments when you do not expect anything bad, one of your colleagues says something that causes resentment, pain. But do not rush to draw conclusions. Maybe he didn't want to be rude? Or you misunderstood. How to figure it out?

1. Before you get offended, remember if this person has a reason to offend you?
2. Are his words really perceived only as a deliberate infliction of moral insult? Can they be attributed to an unsuccessful joke.
3. Does the person have a reason to insult you?
4. How a rude person behaves - aggressively or smiling sweetly. Does he try to make you look stupid in front of others.
5. And finally, the best method, but it concerns the clarification of relationships between close, familiar people. Talk to him and find out what you did wrong, what he wanted to say in his own words. You may be able to clarify the situation and put an end to your own doubts.

But even if it was a joke and not entirely successful, stop them immediately. Don't let someone put you down or insult you, even if it's in a casual tone. No one has the right to inflict moral pain.

Why people are rude: the reasons for the growth of aggression

Every day we ask ourselves what is happening to people. Why do they turn into a flock of animals, capable of tearing a person apart. The answers are given by experienced psychologists who study the interaction between people in society. Everything, as it turned out, begins in childhood. Yes, and what is there to be surprised. If someone raises their eyebrows, then they are clearly being disingenuous. All the blame for the aggravation of anger in society lies with adults - parents.

We don't have much free time. We are chasing earnings, we want to buy an apartment, it is better to equip it, buy a car, wear expensive clothes, go on vacation to the best places. What about a child? Even a fairy tale to read at night and then the problem is - there is no time. So that he does not demand attention to himself, we pay off - we give expensive gifts, sweets, then a car, separate apartments. As a result, a natural consumer grows up, into whose ears words about honor, dignity, good breeding, decency, respect for others, etc. were not whispered in a gentle motherly voice.

School. Here already there is a community of people of interest. And as soon as the child gets into a flock of small "animals", he immediately tries to adopt their habits. That's right - who wants to stand out from the crowd. You need to be with those who are more, so there are more chances to stay "alive". That is, children dissolve in the mass of rude people, since, unfortunately, there are more of them - after all, we are growing a society of consumers.

We don't evolve culturally, but good examples of our parents, grandparents were goodies: Martin Eden, Jen Eyre, Don Quixote, Robinson Crusoe and other characters of popular works. What now? The maximum that young people are capable of is to watch a film on the Internet. But for the most part, children spend time in nightclubs, drink a huge amount of alcohol, smoke tirelessly, and fill themselves with energy drinks. You can’t look at their comments on the network without tears in a continuous obscenity, abuse and 5 errors in a word of 4 letters. It seems that Russian lessons at school are completely cancelled.

Being evil is fashionable! Yes, this statement is true. We have repeatedly witnessed a showdown in live broadcasts of classmates, students, young guys. Now there are a huge number of videos on the network - reports with a beating of a bad girlfriend, a classmate who did not like it. Violence breaks records.

Television, films. The main attribute of every house is a TV, a computer. Films with rude and boorish characters are constantly shown on it, because of which a cult of arrogance, aggression and enmity has arisen.

How to respond to an insult

And now let's move on to the analysis of specific situations that almost everyone faces without exception. After all, both close people - dad, mom, spouse, children, and strangers can inflict moral pain, insult. This is evidenced by the mass of unpleasant stories from school, institute, from work. What should be done in such circumstances? After all, few people are able to openly express aggression, much less defend themselves against rudeness and rudeness, which in recent years simply knows no boundaries. Advice is given by experienced professionals.

Humiliates and insults husband

As a rule, when a husband begins to offend and morally suppress, to speak insulting and humiliating words, a woman does not remain in debt. And so there are squabbles, quarrels, up to a complete break in relations. But this is not a solution to the problem. Why destroy the family, if you can find a way to suppress the aggression of the spouse. But first you need to find out why he does this.

Causes of the aggression of the spouse

He's just an evil person. Spoiled by his parents, demanding attention, he is not used to being denied something. You will have to either re-educate, or endure or break off relations. It is better to try to re-educate, but slowly, without breaking on the "knee".

There are accumulated problems at work. Talk to him, apparently you have a distrust, since he does not talk about his disagreements in relations with employees and superiors.

You are misbehaving. Pay attention, maybe your spouse still has a reason for dissatisfaction. Of course, insulting and humiliating is the last thing. But it also happens that, not knowing how to influence you, the husband lashes out with unpleasant words and expressions.

Are you tired of each other or he doesn't want to be around you anymore. Talk, find out the reason for his anger. If there is no passion and love that before, you are doomed to be annoyed. Try to get some rest separately. If this does not help, you are infuriated by his presence, and he - yours - get a divorce.

He got another one. This occasion will not keep you waiting long. He will definitely compare you with the one on the side. It is still fresh there, passions are blazing, he wants to plunge into a new relationship with his head. And here you are the same wife, in the usual dressing gown, with the usual conversations, dishes, etc. Here you need to choose - (which is very difficult) or let him go on all four sides, why endure insults and humiliation.

How to behave if your husband insults you

1. Try to pretend that you don't care about his insults. This is not easy to do, but you still need to try. Usually, uttering unpleasant words, a man is waiting for an answer - there must be a scandal. Maybe it's silly, but many people get pleasure from the heat of the relationship. And then a complete ignore - it turns out, there is no point in scolding, it does not give anything. No continuation!
2. Talk - maybe there is a reason. Find out the relationship, but try to agree in advance - without raising the tone. Quite often, such conversations help to align the union and not create the conditions for the development of a larger conflict.
3. Never be rude to him. It will only get worse - someone has to be smarter, someone has to give in. Then, when his passions subside, you will have a talk.
4. If you can’t talk, get away from his eyes, you can go to another room, or for a walk. Do not give him a chance for further insults and insults against you.

How to respond to bullying at work

We spend most of our lives at work. And, of course, no one is immune from problems in the relationship between employees. Therefore, you need to prepare in advance for the fact that unpleasant situations will arise. How to solve them. Well, do not leave after every quarrel or offensive words from work. Believe me, the next place of employment will be no better, if you don’t know how to cooperate, communicate with society, sit at home and complete orders from the Internet. But you should understand that in this way you will be deprived of normal, human communication and will very quickly get tired of loneliness, monotony and routine. Work from home should be done only under the circumstances. And it's time for you to gain your mind and learn how to respond to insults from colleagues and superiors.

Try to remain silent. This is especially true of situations on the roads, in public transport, in crowded places. In order to control yourself, you need to think carefully, you need to draw the attention of others to offensive language addressed to you.

If the situation arose at work, among classmates and colleagues, silence can play a cruel joke. This is a kind of signal to the offender - you can continue to behave like this and further, and nothing will happen for it. Therefore, it is categorically impossible to remain silent in this situation - put the aggressive comrade "in place" and no longer allow him such behavior. Repeat again - answer the same way, draw everyone's attention to his behavior. Let everyone see how disgusting he is in his ugly behavior.

Before responding to rudeness, you should understand with whom you are in conflict. And think about whether your answer is worth losing your job, your student ID. But even in this case, a self-respecting person should at least do something to stop the insults. At least to talk, as a maximum to involve third parties and not allow the offender to inflict a moral blow again.

Try to "understand" the offender. This situation concerns those who have been offended by management or a person on whom much depends. Yes, it is not easy, but you need to do this “procedure”. Approach the offender and talk as if you understand that he had no idea of ​​offending your person. Indeed, in most cases this is what happens - a person cannot always understand that he did something wrong, said the wrong words, or said too much in a fit of anger. It is necessary to give time - let it “cool down” and have a conversation. Remind him that you yourself have often found yourself in a position where reluctantly insulted someone. The main thing is to realize your guilt, identify the causes of the conflict and put an end to mistrust, doubts and quarrels.

How to respond to online harassment

The World Wide Web The Internet is the worst place ever! In it you can run into such insults that the mind is incomprehensible. And they can offend for no reason. It’s just that there are such “idiots” who spend all their time on social networks and strive to insult someone. They even have the nickname "troll", and they "troll" people, cause conflict. What to do in such situations for those who did not even think of entering into an argument with anyone?

1. Don't waste time on fools and don't make contact with them. They are waiting for this! Otherwise, their activities are simply meaningless. Do not answer - it will go crazy, suffer, that is, get "what it deserves." And you have only one thing left - to laugh at him and not pay attention to his short-sighted, stupid actions.
2. If the abuse continues, contact law enforcement. There is an article that brings trolls to justice, causing a clear insult to the honor and dignity of a person.

How to do it:

• take a screenshot, fix the moment of insults;
• try to collect as much information about the troll as possible;
• work with an experienced lawyer;
• write a statement to the authorities and attach everything that you have from the evidence and information about the offender.

How to respond to bullying at school

In childhood, we hear the first unpleasant things addressed to us. No one can get around this situation, especially those who do not know how to defend themselves steadfastly. We remember our school years with affection, but as soon as moments with humiliation and insults from classmates, high school students arise in our memory, our face immediately darkens. Experts say that children's grievances are experienced by people very hard. Often they accompany a person until the end of his days. What to do to stop bullying at school:

1. Try not to pay attention, but only once. Repeated humiliation must be answered. Talk to this person and ask what he wants from you. Perhaps there is a misunderstanding between you that needs to be cleared up.
2. It is not possible to resolve the issue peacefully - try to answer. As a rule, boors are sure of their impunity. They create more noise around themselves, although in fact they are cowards by nature. Answer rudely, but do not turn into the same idiot. It does not help, he has gathered a group, they continue to put pressure on you - talk to your parents.

Important: never be shy about asking your parents for help. School problems can have serious psychological and mental consequences. They must be stopped, and the offenders must know - for every rude word there is another word!

Parents whose children are humiliated need to communicate with the child more often, to have frank conversations. Pay attention to whether your beloved child has become withdrawn, nervous. If it happens that he abruptly fell out of love with school, does not want to participate in school events, spend time with classmates, does not have friends in the class, one should be wary. He has very serious problems. The child hides everything, talk to his teacher. In any case, do your best to clarify the situation and take action.

In cases where the conflict at school is associated with a group of very aggressive teenagers behaving threateningly - do not be shy, do not be afraid - write a statement to the police, since insults for such "types" are only the beginning, then the moment of assault may come.

How to respond to insults from your wife

Paradoxical, as it seems to someone, the situation. The wife humiliates and insults her husband. You will laugh, but this happens quite often. This can happen both publicly and alone with your spouse. The first is a rare case, the second is all the time. Of course, what man wants to admit that he is under the yoke of a fragile woman - no one! The reason for this behavior may be:

1. You made a bad deed, changed. She may have forgiven, but she has not forgotten and is unlikely to forget! At every opportunity, it will remind you of your sin and continue to insult and humiliate.
2. She grew up a spoiled, inadequate girl, her parents indulged in everything and encouraged her ugly behavior.
3. From the very beginning, the man did not make it clear that he was the head of the family, and she was the keeper of the hearth, creating comfort. But this does not mean that a man has the right to humiliate his wife.
4. Your significant other is too tired from the endless circle of duties. She simply cannot withstand physical exertion and cannot wait for your help. She has no other choice but to express humiliating words and insults at you - this is how she gets rid of accumulated negative emotions. Help her, participate in family life, especially if there are children.
5. A man has stopped paying attention to his wife, he no longer sees a woman in her. Yes, worries and troubles play a cruel joke on a woman's appearance. Give her rest, let her clean herself up and remember her other destinations.
6. The wife grew up in a family where her parents had the same relationship - her mother humiliated and covered her husband with offensive phrases. Now he copies his former life and projects it onto his relationship with his husband.
7. Your wife is jealous of your children. You began to spend more time with them, although she deserves support, communication. She is also annoyed by the fact that a softer, compassionate daddy attracts children more than an overbearing and strict mother.
8. Problems with the hormonal background. Negative behavior of the spouse can also be observed during diseases associated with the endocrine system. During pregnancy, during illnesses, she simply does not control her behavior. An appeal to the doctor is required, and in the case of pregnancy, patience to the husband.

What to do if a child is abusive

Building relationships with children is not easy. As soon as he reaches adolescence, the desire for independence immediately arises. Children want to break away from their parents and show that they are able to solve their own problems, to find contacts with the outside world. It is this world that most often becomes a provocateur of the negative behavior of the child. A small person's own "I" is being formed, and the biggest mistake of parents is a misunderstanding of the situation. The fact that their child does something without them, ceases to ask permission for all actions, to share the innermost, simply does not fit in their head. This is how conflict situations arise. What to do?

1. First of all, forget that your child is your property. First of all, you have produced an individual, not a free app!
2. Do not lose touch with your child. Do not stop close contact for a day - chat, talk, share secrets (available).
3. You do not need to indulge the child in everything - fulfill only those requests that you can afford.
4. Good deeds should be encouraged - your child honestly deserves it. If something is wrong - talk, blame, but do not pretend that nothing happened. He should know that any negative offense entails punishment.
5. Help them to realize their desires, participate in his aspirations, support him with support and let him know that you believe in all his undertakings, talents and opportunities.

The main thing is to look for common ground and conduct a dialogue with the child, husband, wife. Be not only a parent, soul mate, but also the best friend of your beloved child, husband, wife. And it is desirable that you maintain friendships for life - and this requires constant work.

All for now.
Sincerely, Vyacheslav.

There are various situations in life. It happens that a conflict situation has occurred with a person and you have been insulted. It must have happened to everyone.

Be it random insults or specific ones. With colleagues at work, or in a friendly company, or with a stranger in a store. Most often insulted intentionally, for some purpose, for example, trying to offend, humiliate, or show that the offender is better than you.

Insult- this is always unpleasant, so you need to know how to respond to them. Those who do not know how to respond to insults can go into serious depression. Therefore, here it will be written about how to respond to insults.

First, in order to understand how to competently respond to an insult, you need to discard all emotions. Especially fear. Otherwise, the offender may feel that you are afraid and then he will continue to offend you more.

He himself experiences fear, but sensing yours, he will become impudent and rude more and more every time. Therefore, remember that you are strong when you are confident.

You may be offended to the core by phrases that you consider to be true. But it's not. So just make it clear to others. Start loving yourself, from your fingertips to your hair and your soul. There are no more like you. Remember this. You are unique. Nobody has the right to be rude to you. You are good at everything that gives you joy. You are smart. You are beautiful. Say nice words to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, admire yourself.

Well think about it, why do people try to offend people who are not like them? In fact, the answer is simple - people are afraid. They are afraid to look weaker than others, thereby insulting and humiliating you. Don't give up and don't let them insult you.

They try to appear stronger by humiliating others, but in reality, offenders are weak personalities.

Therefore, be smarter, be calm about unpleasant phrases addressed to you. remember, that this person is weaker than you and is afraid of simply being worse than you.

Nobody can insult you. If they directly run into you, for example, in a store, that you choose something for a long time, or you pay for a long time in line for a ticket, and they shout at you, then do not be silent! Approach the one who is yelling at you and ask: “Who gave you the right to talk to me like that?”, “Who am I to you so that you yell at me? You can yell at your wife at home or at your son!

Thus, you can force the offender to stir the brains. Maybe he will understand the fact that everyone has the same rights. And if your boss or colleague offends you at work, then give him the Constitution of the Russian Federation. Maybe next time your colleagues will watch the language.

It must be remembered that constructive criticism and insults are different things. So, as criticism implies assistance in eliminating the shortcomings of a person, and when insulting, a person humiliates someone else's dignity, while demonstrating his own. Therefore, there is not a drop of truth in insults and therefore you should not take them to heart and delve into yourself, thereby causing sadness and bad emotions in yourself.

Sometimes offenders use non-standard vocabulary, very rude phrases, in order to offend more. It happens that they use subtle insults, manifested through frank sarcasm, ridicule. In order to correctly respond to the words of the offender, you need to understand what insults are flying in your direction. For example, you do not need to respond to insults with direct obscene words, you can simply use the knowledge of neurolinguistic programming.

There are too emotional personalities that are not familiar to you, but landed in a public place. These can behave inappropriately and attack with fists. Therefore, if you sense that a person is not friendly with the language, then just ignore it. Why would you stoop to the same level. Yes, and the fight will definitely not lead to good.

It is best to calmly respond with an indifferent voice or ignore it. It turns out that you do not care what he thinks and says. As a result, he will quickly fall behind. There are situations when you can answer in the same manner as you are addressed. You are a leader, you love yourself.

For example, at work they tell you with a smirk that you are so ridiculous that you put on a rumpled shirt. You can respond in the same vein: “Thank you for your concern, and you have had bags under your eyes all week. What would that have to do with it?" And smile sweetly.

Interesting thing, when they try to give you a negative assessment of your appearance or your actions, try to thank the person. This will obviously baffle him and he will not find anything else to say. Major companies have weekly meetings. Usually the meetings look like this, when the boss gathers his subordinates and begins to scold, sometimes shout, etc.

For those who are not pleased and hurt to hear the boss scream, there is an interesting thing that is easy to do.

Just imagine that you went to visit a large aquarium, and your boss is a fish that does nothing but open its mouth. But not a single sound is heard.

This wonderful psychological thing will help those who are nervous about the negativity of their boss. After all, you can’t answer the boss with an insult or yell at him, but no one can stop you from not listening to him.

If, after a vacation, your “beloved” colleague tries to poke you on the topic that you have recovered well, then agree with him with a smile. He can continue the conversation with the question, what will you do with the extra weight? Tell him that you decided to be fat and you like McDonald's food, and athletes do not inspire you.

How to respond to insults:

1. Most importantly, be smarter than the one who is trying to offend you.
2. Do not stoop to the level of the offender, do not yell at him, do not let direct insults - this will only aggravate the situation.
3. Remember that the one who offends you is already in a losing position. Such people need to be sincerely sorry, most likely they have already been offended by life.
4. Everyone has the same rights.
5. Answer in the same way.
6. You are a strong person.
7. Turn off emotions.
8. Love yourself.

Remember that there is no exact way to properly respond to insults. After all, it depends on the situation and on who offends you. But thanks to this article, you can understand how to respond to offenders.

In our time, cases of “humiliated and offended” have become more frequent. Children ask the question: “They are humiliated at school: what to do”? Change schools, go truant, get home-schooled? Or what to do if the husband humiliates - a close person who should protect, respect and appreciate? I think, in this case, it is worth considering whether the person next to you! In any case, humiliation cannot be accepted, it is a psychotrauma that can lead to serious disorders, to neurosis. Therefore, it is very important to learn how to respond to it correctly, while maintaining self-esteem.

Some in such a situation become isolated, simply retreat, “like an ostrich”, “hiding their heads in the sand”! Others snarl, rude in response, bully. The behavior of both those and others only exacerbates this difficult situation, a person develops inadequate behavior, cannot build communication with others. As a result - inferiority, "broken personality" - devoid of self-esteem, self-realization.

But there is a third way out, a wise, proven, path that has helped many get rid of humiliation and be, and not seem like a full-fledged person! Let's see what to do if you are humiliated.

Let's think logically: what is the purpose of a person, humiliating another? - To suppress your dignity both in your own eyes and in the eyes of others, to assert yourself in this way. Don't let the offender reach his goal! Be self-confident, moderately proud, do not stoop to his level: do not answer, try to maintain your composure. If you are self-sufficient, if you have good friends, close people with whom it is easy and comfortable for you, if you have hobbies, interests, your life is active and energetic - continue to enjoy all this, and treat the one who humiliated you condescendingly. You are one step above this man! Seeing that it was not possible to humiliate you (the goal was not achieved), this person will stop insulting you.

If this option does not suit you, you cannot wordlessly get away with the inflicted offense - do not be silent! Boldly, confidently look into the person’s eyes and answer in a calm voice. But! Whether it is at school, on the street or at home, no matter who is in front of you - a colleague or boss, the same age or older than you, be polite, do not allow rudeness on your part. You will see, they will no longer dare to humiliate you, because they humiliate people who are weak, insecure, timid. Show that you are a person, you should not be ashamed! And try to forgive this person, his aggression, because he just has deviations.

We wish you to adequately get out of any situation and not put up if you are humiliated!

How to properly respond to insults? There is no one in the world who has never been offended.

However, some look optimistic and satisfied with life, while others react painfully to other people's attacks and clog "in a mink".

Let's think about how to properly respond to insults and remain unconvinced?

Big bosses, school teachers, kindergarten teachers, employees of registry offices and housing departments, even ordinary janitors - all the time they strive to offend the innocent.

It is important to distinguish criticism (albeit in a rude form) from insults. A criticizing person will definitely name the facts, his claims are due to specific things and actions.

But the offender often becomes personal, descends to swearing, calling names, but this has nothing to do with your mistakes.

What to do if your boss insults you

In my life there were two opposite working collectives. Pleasant people gathered at the planning meetings of the first one, discussed successes, calmly expressed criticism, and supported those who did not succeed.

After the speech of the talented and calm leader, everyone was full of enthusiasm and set to work with redoubled energy.

At meetings of the second job, the boss constantly shouted, he considered everyone mediocrity and fools.

He could humiliate a young girl for an immodest outfit, a chubby secretary for being overweight, and torture a colleague for half an hour for a crumpled tie.

Exhausted and tired, everyone took up work with reluctance, once a month someone was sure to quit “on their own”.

The easiest way to say “run from this job”, because nothing will change the boss. But not everyone can change lucrative positions like gloves.

However, if you correctly respond to insults, you will soon be able to earn his respect and stay in the team for a long time.

What is needed for that? calm tone, increased self-esteem, smile, self-esteem and understanding of the causes of other people's behavior.

The shorter your answers will be,all the better.

Do not get angry in response, put on a friendly face and forgive the offender in advance. After all, he is weak and primitive, and you are stronger, higher than him.

1. Get away from the situation. Work is not life, it's just work. You get money - not for nerves and complaisance, but for your skills, period.

But no one pays for your peace of mind, so take care of it. Limit contacts with unpleasant people. And after work, friends, children, wife, pets, a delicious dinner, your favorite series are waiting for you.

2. Turn on "ignore". Keep quiet and go about your business until the boss returns to a calm tone.

3. If the offender is inflamed in earnest, you can, hiding malice, thank him for his kind remarks.

He tells you: “Yes, you are probably crazy!”, You boomerang to him: “Oh, you noticed it very well.”

He: “Yes, I have never seen you more stupid,” and you: “Thank you, I appreciate all your comments. I will definitely work on myself." Smile sincerely, well, almost.

4. Consider the scale of the disaster. Is it so scary that a colleague in the heat of a dispute called you an ugly name? There is a war somewhere in the world, someone is always starving, stars explode, new planets are formed ...

On the scale of the universe, the words of some bungler are empty, zero. Should I respond to insults and worry?

5.The method of "aquarium fish" helped many of my colleagues. It is enough to imagine that the boss is talking and talking, and only bubbles come out of his mouth and only gurgling is heard.

Separate yourself mentally from it with aquarium glass and enjoy the view.

6. When they shout at you for no reason (in other words, when it is not necessary to delve into the meaning of words), strain your imagination and Imagine boss, say, giant hamster. Or a harmful monkey that escaped from the enclosure and steals bags from passers-by.

7. Draw air into your lungs and in one breath, exhaling evenly, say: "I would like you to be more polite to me."

Or " Let's get to the point: what specific claims do you have against me? It puts some people in their place, like an ice cold shower.

One of my university teachers managed to overwhelm the smartest students: instead of talking on tickets, she poured personal insults in a low, sarcastic voice. Yes, yes, there are such luminaries of science.

But my not the most gifted (but calm as a tank) classmate managed to pass everything on the first try. During the exam, he also quietly told her, “You are being unprofessional. Let's get back to the subject, shall we?"

8. It is very important to remind presumptuous bosses that slavery and serf labor have long been abolished.

If you are insulted, and you hear cries of “I demand”, “I order” and the like, try changing the tone of the conversation with a calm phrase: “So what kind of request?”, focusing on the last word.

9. The most important thing – don't show resentment, do not succumb to provocation.

Do not break into response reproaches and shouting, do not move your eyebrows angrily, and in general, do not give the offender a reason to see that you are hurt. And only then will you win.

If the scream is compressed into a lump in your throat, go to the toilet, turn on the taps and scream. And then wash your face, smile in the mirror, take a deep breath - and back again.

10. A few more magical phrases that put a person in his place:“Why are you trying to offend me?”, “Are you having an unpleasant day today? I understand, it happens”, “You seemed to me a different, more pleasant person”, “I didn’t expect this from you”, “Excuse me, are you finished? I would like to work."

11. Control your thoughts. Do not remember offensive words at night, do not invent theoretical answers, do not wish for revenge.

All this exhausts you, spoils your mood, but does not affect the offender in any way.

The most “vindictive” thing you can do is to live peacefully and enjoy the new day in spite of everything.