Psychology of married men in relationships with women. Male psychology in relation to a mistress. What to do if a feeling for a married man overtakes

Readiness for good relations, flirting, good sex is inherent in a woman, just like expectation. And for men, wrestling becomes a normal state. Consider what men like in a mistress (the material was collected by a survey method).

She delights and surprises!

NB! Be real. Do not skimp on grateful emotions.

She often laughs. I am very fond of it. I want to please my beloved, but she does not play along, but laughs sincerely, to tears.

It needs to be stressful for a guy to live a double life. He has a tough job, he has to play the manly husband while at home, and then he has to turn your attention when the time is right. Because his time is so blurry and his free time is short, give him space to come to you. Don't be so demanding if you haven't seen him in a week, don't get aggressive with him when he can't call you back when he promises, and don't try to strangle him when the two of you are together.

Why do married men have lovers?

A guy needs some breathing room, and if you give him enough space, it will make him crave you more. So keep yourself busy, meet other people or go out with your girlfriends. When he turns to you, he will appreciate that you are not such a demanding lover.

She has no complexes: no "uncomfortable, impossible, indecent."

She does not forget to praise and thank me, and we, men, really need it. "You are wonderful, I feel good with you" - a song for men's ears!

NB! The main thing - do not forget to leave him a winner, appreciate his successes and efforts.

She has a luxurious body.

NB! Watch how you sit or lie. Think carefully about the lighting and… makeup.

Never define relationships

And finally, being a lover means that the word "relationship" should not even be in your vocabulary. Since this guy already has a wife at home, being in a full blown relationship with you is definitely not on the cards. He can't give you the attention you need, so you should never even dream of having a "Conversation" with him. Defining a relationship with a married man is like taking your food to a restaurant. After all, you only embarrass yourself when he reminds you that you are just his mistress.

She is smart and insightful. I consult with her before doing anything.

The sign on the office door "15 minutes - technical break." This means that we spread out the mattress, closed the lock and indulged in wonderful love orgies on the office floor. And what didn’t work out for 15 minutes - so how do people know when we hung the sign?

NB! Some are touched by lovemaking without going to restaurants and listening to stories about Chagall's work.

These types of serious conversations will likely scare your boyfriend into thinking about your arrangement. So toss the word "relationship" and take your situation for what it is. You both provide each other with what you need for short moments of time, and if you require anything more than what he wants to give you, then maybe it's time for you to give up being a mistress and find an unattached a person who can fully dedicate you.

Why do men prefer married lovers?

Being taken out to eat in fancy restaurants, constantly showering expensive gifts and, when wrapped around the city for your dynamic personality and exotic looks, that's not all she cracked! Trust me sisters, if you ask the woman who used to play the Mystery Mistress, she'll tell you: be very careful what you want. A married man is a happy female holy grail.

She was depressed, at work - stagnation, disgust for her husband after childbirth, recovered. I saved her. Now, when I see a sad or tearful woman in the corridor, that's it! That's all I think about, and usually she doesn't leave her job unsaved.

I feel like a prince with her. I get ready, I shave, I pick up my belly, I straighten my shoulders. You won’t let the wind near such a one - he will immediately say that he is in a hurry, and leave. All of it is so tyu-tyu, fu-fu. Well-groomed, fashionable, mannered. I think who I am - a sofa mouse, and she - Oh! And wants me. I am for her a star from the sky ...

Options for the development of love lines

Skillfully maneuvering his initial defenses, skillfully playing with a wounded ego, and skillfully turning into everything that does not have his wife, intrigues the best She-diana Jones. Why do so many ladies meet an engagement ring and suddenly turn into this cunning hunter, ready to devour his prey, the second he lowers his unsuspecting head towards her burgeoning cleft? Two words: competition and challenge.

Why do women date married men?

When a person seems to have everything - loving wife, stable family, beautiful house And successful business- women can't help themselves to fall for all of it. Nothing can break the spell until we test the waters to see how excited the fish are about this split on the hook. Do not relieve him of any responsibility.

She is married, but I still hide from her that other women call me. Why would I lie if I don't like it. We have feelings and relationships. She sleeps with her husband. Can't be with me all the time, and when I have sex with other women, I still think about her. The mistress lets me know that she is jealous, I even like it. I deceive her, saying that I have one. And she pretends to believe.

These people don't bring beggarly little puppies to be led to the slaughter. No, in fact, a married person is well aware that he is a hot commodity. Many men admit that they like to wear wedding rings because they seem to attract more women your way! This woman is for everything that comes to her mind.

She recognizes the game and she's all fit and ready to play quarterback. Why would it seem happy man cheating on his sweet, supportive wife who patiently waits at home for him to finish his "late nights at the office"? This is the million dollar question! Many of you didn't like hearing the answers, but here it is, in black and white.

The mistress does not ask the question "Are you sleeping?" right after sex, because you can’t sleep, you need to get dressed and stomp into the kitchen to drink tea. How nice it is when no one rams you after sex with questions about buying a closet and a trip to the country on Saturday!

You can find an exotic mistress, with stretch marks and cellulite: you run your palm over the skin, as if over a reptile. Breast of the fifth size or ass of the fifty-sixth - why? We need variety! She didn’t like something or me, so he gave money for a taxi - and goodbye! My wife ate her whole brain, it’s a pity that it’s impossible to do this with her.

She laughs at his lame jokes while his wife resorts to rolling eyes and shaking her head. She tells him how gorgeous and powerful he is at every opportunity. It's easy for her to get around and not force bills, kids, and "honey lists" on him. She is ready to have wild, uninhibited sex with him whenever he asks for it. His friends like her better. makes him feel like a genius. Crouching around gives him a boost. She is hotter than his wife and that makes him feel hotter.

She is younger than her wife and that makes him feel younger. She always wants to have fun, even if it means bungee jumping off a bridge at midnight. The really sad part is, many wives could write this list themselves, and yet they still refuse to go out of their way to change and provide their husbands with a bit of Mystery Lady behavior at home! So why do "other women" fall for these apparently conspiratorial men?

I had a virgin. She lies like a log, blowing about a joint trip to the registry office, but I don’t tell her that I’m married. I teach everything (not philosophy, of course). I like to feel like a pioneer.

You do not bear any responsibility. He sailed and quit, the main thing is to never talk about feelings with his mistress, and if necessary, replace the word “love” with “tenderness for you”, “you turn me on”, “I think about you all the time”. Rolls.

Not afraid of commitment. She knows he just wants to have a good time. She wants to prove that she has what he wants, that his wife does not. She wants to feel loved, wanted and desired. He gives her luxurious gifts, takes her on a trip, and so on. he's gorgeous and she doesn't care about the consequences. Paul is amazing and she doesn't care about the consequences. She doesn't think she can do better. She is so naive that she believes that he really cares about her and may someday leave his wife.

Reasons for the appearance of a mistress

Deep down, she lets her know that he chooses her over his other commitments. bad, and that's all she wants from life. What happens when fun and games come to a screeching halt? It is almost impossible to spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex, communicate with them regularly, share intimate thoughts and feelings, and not develop an emotional attachment to them. Regardless of how or why it started, the end result is usually a couple of people who fall into a web of lies and deceit, in which both of them know that the ending can't turn out well.

Mistress makes me kinder. When there is no one on the side for a long time, I come home, yell, demand attention. And if I know that I screwed up, I come kind and sweet after stormy adventures. I will always find affection and strength for my wife in bed, and on weekends and on vacation I sometimes don’t even want to stroke her head.

Mistress is not ashamed to show friends. My wife is the mother of my children, I appreciate her, I understand her, but she has become stout, in companies she snatches a glass, makes me go home when I lie, breaks off in front of everyone. And when my "candy" enters the restaurant, all the men's jaws drop. Plays with me in everything. Together we are the most welcome guests. Happy and cheerful. Now there are few of them, everyone is jealous, and it’s good: it’s better than they regret when they see it with their wife.

Whether they are caught in an illegal affair by the spouse, one of them decides that they should confess their sins to the wife, or they split up on their own, it is a lose-lose situation for all involved. Nobody wins because in the end somebody will get hurt. Of course, there are those exceptions to the rule where the couple finally ends up in a legal relationship and the married man gets a formal divorce. However, can you imagine the thoughts that must have tormented the soul of a woman, every time her conquest requires telling her that he will be coming home late?

If we are in a car and my wife calls, my lover closes her mouth, stops scratching my back and turns the music down. It’s easier for me to turn off the phone, let everything rattle better, and she chirps or caresses me right at the wheel, covering her head with her coat.

She has a different mood all the time, I don’t have time to get used to it, emotions over the edge. It makes me angry, it makes me anxious, it calls me in the middle of the night. It turns me on so much!

What to do if a feeling for a married man overtakes

How can she be sure that the way she got it won't be exactly like she's losing it to someone just like her? The only way that former mistress can save your self-respect and move on with your life is to know the true meaning of forgiveness. First, she must learn to forgive herself for being in such a predicament, and secondly, she must find a way to force herself to forgive the person with whom she has spent so many precious moments. Time is our most valuable commodity.

She is the only person to whom I say "I'm sorry!". She's got that feeling dignity and noble manners, that I involuntarily kiss her hands. There are no more women like this. She reads poetry to me, tells me a lot of interesting things. I was very lucky that this woman allowed me to be near her.

I am proud and admire her. She has very interesting friends, you will not get bored with her. Songs with a guitar, trips, theaters ... I fly to her every minute, it seems to me that if she is not in my life, I will not be able to breathe.

We can't get it back once it's wasted and we can't buy more of it no matter how much money we make. The key is to realize that people make mistakes every day and that the only thing that can come from those mistakes is to learn from them. A woman who has made a decision in the past to be with a married man needs to do some serious introspection. What was it about her that made her attract someone who was already attached to someone else? What was real reason her bad choice?

What can she do from now on to ensure that the same mistakes are not repeated over and over again in the future? Here are five important steps you need to take to successfully move forward. What is going on inside your own psyche that has been causing you to act on this obsession over and over again? Find a solution. How can you ensure that this is not a choice you make again? Meet friends - old and new. When we are in relationships, we tend to neglect the people around us who truly care. restore old connections for support. Focus on productive projects. Now is the perfect moment to use all the time that has been freed up in your social schedule to do something that will improve your life. open new business, learn a new skill or profession, join a committee or take up a class. Working on yourself will benefit everyone involved, and the pain of broken relationships will be less difficult to manage.

  • Sorry.
  • The first step is to forgive yourself and to forgive everyone else involved in the situation.
  • No one was forced to act the way they did, and everyone played a part.
  • Do some introspection.
  • Why did you make the decisions that were made?
A woman should know that she should not be a victim.

My mistress is married. She doesn't load. Does not require marriage, does not ask for money. She does not need gifts - you will not surprise her with anything. Doesn't take flowers. It turns out absolutely disinterested feeling on her part. Once during a business trip, I managed to drag her to a trance party. All stoned, music boo boo boo. She was stunned, thanked, loved me after that day without stopping. Where did my strength come from? I've never had that happen again.

She controls her reaction and reaction to what is happening in her life. Her past doesn't need to dictate her future, and she can grow and improve from it. When she finds a way to love herself, only then will someone else be able to genuinely demonstrate their love for her.

Leila did not think to close her eyes when her maidens disguised her, but looked in the mirror because her beautiful cleavage, long thin legs and elaborate henna tattoos were gradually disappearing behind several golden, precious precious stones. Finally, long black hair, her beautifully painted face with high cheekbones and mouthful until only the eyes are visible.

My mistress has a separate apartment. If you only knew how convenient it is. And yet, she is warm-hearted, tender, trusting, beautiful, smart, open, generous, sexy, wild and homely - whatever.

She has a lot of different and interesting things on her body: piercings, five earrings in her ears, a tattoo, blue nail polish, she is shaved all over, sexy. Bag full of sexy toys. Creams, nozzles, whips. I've never been as good with anyone as I was with her.

She blinked nervously at the thought that this time she wouldn't feel her usual relief when she finally stepped out of her golden hull. King Xavyan Al-Ramiz, the man she had promised since childhood, suddenly decided to make her his bride after all the years he had consistently ignored her existence. Not only did Havian's long wait make her and her country misunderstand the future, but understandably Layla also felt personally humiliated.

Her life has passed - or rather passed - in an endless waiting line. She was the oldest in a long line of sisters. On the seventh attempt to produce a male heir, her mother died. Layla remembered very well how few of the traditional people of Hydaria could reconcile themselves to the idea that one day a queen would rule.

She loves me so much that I don't think that's possible. She shines her love on me, does not let me breathe without her name. She is the only one. I really haven’t slept with my wife for two years, I live only for the sake of the child, so that my daughter grows up and begins to understand me. This woman is the truth of my heart. For the first time in my life, I love so much. I don't need anywhere, nobody anywhere and never. I ask myself: “What do I not have?”, And I myself answer: “I don’t have IT, and, therefore, there is nothing.”

Every time we have with her is like the first. She dresses sexy herself, flirts, and then plays that I take her. He never sticks first, walked, went to a cafe, played backgammon. For her, the main thing is not sex, but the road to it. Says that size only matters in size contests. Thank God, everything is fine with me, so when I still get to her, she screams and cries. Sometimes I have other women, besides my mistress and wife, usually when there is no time for marriage dances to dance or a very accommodating and passionate one comes across. No man will refuse this.

Women usually scream or swear, cry or moan, and my mistress is silent. I like it. I will stay with her for a long time. But she saved me from the opinions of other women who had settled in my head. Pulled out all the complexes. We have fulfilled all unfulfilled dreams in sex.

My woman immediately warned me that we would not have any common dates and holidays. She said that she could only give our meetings two hours twice a week. My wife and her husband have no idea that we have been in love for ten years.

Frankly, I don't know what to add to these statements. Believe me, I didn’t come up with a single word, sometimes I almost fainted, hearing (and watching!) HOW men talk about their mistresses ...

Chapter from the book by Natalia Tolstaya “Beloved or mistress. The Road to Calvary".

Natalya Vladimirovna Tolstaya- well-known Moscow psychoanalyst, candidate psychological sciences, TV presenter, journalist and writer. Her advice is followed by the entire metropolitan beau monde - businessmen, actors, pop stars, politicians and athletes.

More about this. Books by Natalia Tolstaya:

1. Natalya Tolstaya "Duel with treason" -M. Astrel: AST., 2008.

2. Natalia Tolstaya, Semyon CHAYKA "Between sex and love." M., Astrel: AST., 2008.

3. Natalia Tolstaya “Men's misfortunes. I cry with his tears." - M., Astrel: AST., 2010.

4. Natalia Tolstaya "Wife, mistress, beloved." , M., Astrel: AST., 2010.

5. Natalia Tolstaya "This weak stronger sex." , M., Astrel: AST., 2011.

6. Natalya Tolstaya "Male betrayals: war and peace." , M., Astrel: AST., 2011.

7. Natalia Tolstaya "Love: from dusk to dawn." , M., Astrel: AST., 2011.


A significant part of the female population completely refutes the possibility of a rendezvous with a married man, considering such relationships to be initially deadly for the soul and their own pride. But there is a lot number ladies not only allowing such a development of events, but also purposefully striving for just such a scenario. Throwing hypocrisy and feigned pride, you can understand the very essence of the phenomenon.




The psychology of a married lover compares favorably with the behavior of an inveterate bachelor or a conscientious family man, therefore it lends itself to a full analysis by a sober-minded lady. Most of the wives who own experience they learned the problem of triangular ups and downs, the main reason for the husband’s infidelity is considered to be the polygamy inherent in them (popularly referred to as “furious with fat”). In fact, the root of the problem may be hidden behind a screen of psychological disorders.





Psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress outlines behavior model gradually. The first experience of forbidden communication programs a man to constantly monitor the speech, movements and places of possible deployment of his mistress. The city in which the married hero lives with his mistress, day after day turns into a map with minefields. A man tries his best not to fall under the arm of his wife in the eyes of his passion and vice versa. For some guys, this kind of situation gives some positive results: the brain calculates moves in advance, attentiveness increases several times.


There is a more common this moment kind of unfaithful men - "stray" young married lover. His psychology of betrayal is quite simple - the wife confronted the fact of her own pregnancy, and the marriage was already formed around the existing heir or heiress. The strength of such bonds is rather doubtful. A man, backed up to the wall with his tummy, sees in the missus rather an overseer than a faithful soul mate. Therefore, the appearance of a light and cheerful outlet on the side is a completely adequate reaction.



Many girls who have gone sailing on the river "marriage" with precisely such rights often place all responsibility for the appearance of the baby on their spouse. But pressure in the form of barbs or jokes only leads to the desire to gain balance, the girls on the side in this case are a means to gain the missing dominance. Psychology married man, having a mistress, is distinguished by its stable condition. A disadvantaged individual, finally having the opportunity to receive dosed outbursts in intimate life without accompanying moralizing or blackmail, notes improvement well-being, a surge of energy and aspirations, as well as an influx physical forces.



A man strives to match a well-groomed mistress. Wife's favorite pies are swept aside, and baked meat is only welcome. Such is the psychology of a married lover. Mistresses have a very significant difference from wives - they have their own, rich life, they have a separate social circle, unfamiliar affairs and successes. The wife, on the other hand, always tramples under her feet, takes care of her family and children, grumbles about her mother-in-law and colleagues. You can always put pressure on the missus or demand marital debt, while the mistress can fly away at any moment on vital matters. A moment of no influence gives any man a feeling of ardent thirst, attracting more and more.


There is also an option when married lovers and mistresses meet. The psychology of these relationships goes beyond a simple craving for novelty. A married lady does not just go down to adultery, she gives a particle of her own soul to her lover, taking it away from her family.


For women, the bonds of marriage are not empty words, even in the case of a fictitious union (by calculation or contract). Several factors can make a girl decide on a forbidden relationship:


  • Dissatisfaction with one's own libido. Often, apparently well-off married couples hide a deep conflict of sexual temperaments. If a woman has a more active position and aspirations for a regular sexual life and does not receive a response from her husband, thoughts about an additional place of intimate unloading gradually mature in her psyche.

  • The husband's sexual coercion also leads to a search for a more suitable partner. In a situation where a spouse pushes forward his own hidden fantasies with an onslaught, not caring about the emotional calmness of his missus, he runs into a wall not only of misunderstanding, but already of hysterical jitters. The best solution for most women is the presence of a married lover. After all, the existence of a spouse completely frees from any obligations to the boyfriend.

  • Lack of quality attention from the faithful. Without having an emotional dialogue with their spouse, women most often become isolated in own complexes and resentment, attention from a strange man feeds their ego.



The psychology of a married lover in relation to a married mistress is built on quite tangible supports. Chief among these is complete customization. new passion to your own fate. A married lady, in fact, is a universal cocktail that gives pleasure and confidence in male capabilities, and at the same time does not show a destructive passion for ringing. The most pleasant bonus is the complete harmony in terms of matching in time. A free passion over time will demand more attention to itself, and a married one approaches the issue more deliberately, calculating all possible options.


The complete absence of trivial promises and vows qualitatively saturates the relationship of married lovers. The psychology of both parties is such that wild delight and the desire to suppress a partner are absent.


Due to favorable harmony, communication with married woman complemented and clean external factors. Such a lady completely rejects exits to crowded places, does not require pretentious parties, frisky races or spa resorts. The list of expenses of a married man is qualitatively reduced and easily fits into the family budget, especially if the legal spouse scrupulously controls it. Also, men are disposed by the looseness of married mistresses.


An animal interest in the forbidden ripens on both sides, giving an intimate connection a "delicious" spiciness. The psychology of a married lover is built on all the same classical laws - when your own missus constantly talks about age (both in public matters and in bed), the ego requires the satisfaction of the most ambiguous desires.

In some situations, for single mothers, a married lover becomes a lifeline. The psychology of women with years of loneliness puts forward a whole list of positive aspects of this phenomenon. Lawful husbands often disappoint with their tyranny in relation to their spouse or child, so a married lover will not take educational initiatives towards the child, and will not toughen the atmosphere in the house. Rare visits also look tempting - a single mother does not often manage to set aside an hour or two for herself, so such a partner will not issue ultimatums.


To help in material terms, women believe, it is a married lover who can help. The psychology of a man who has known the complexities of everyday life is such that he is easier to compromise, you have to ask him less often, a casually thrown phrase or a sigh causes such a partner a reflex developed in life together with his wife.




Over the past three decades, a different trend of such relations has been widespread. Many girls dream of finding a well-equipped man; most often, a married lover suits them as an admirer. They plan to conquer such a partner, to conquer him. As a result, he will file for divorce from his missus. Thus, young and excessively ambitious ladies want to get not just a win, but a universal jackpot.


The appearance of a young or more experienced woman in the life of a spouse in most cases testifies about stagnation in relation to the married couple. Psychologists advise sort out at the core of the problem before embarking on drastic measures and sanctions. Family life is not just a laborious and painstaking business, but also an ubiquitous one. Any man needs frequent bursts of seething passions that would allow him to balance the emotional world with the outside.



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