Conflict employee what to do as a leader. Signs that the boss is right after all. Conflict at work with the boss how to be

Misunderstanding between superiors and subordinates is not uncommon. And sometimes quarrels with management end in dismissal. According to psychologists, there are certain rules, following which you can resolve the conflict and not lose your favorite job. Let's look at some of the most common situations.

You don't get much

You have been with the company for 10 years. The boss hired a young employee and assigned him the same salary as yours. You think it's unfair, because your experience and dedication to the job was equated with the skills of a beginner.
You don't have to raise your voice to your boss to get a pay rise.

What to do? Do not try to take offense at a young colleague, do not insult him or plot him. Talk to your boss, calmly express your dissatisfaction. And instead of being indignant at the salary of a newcomer, it is better to ask for a raise for yourself and justify your request.

You are older than your boss

Sometimes your boss's attempts to lead you hurt your pride, because you already gnawed at the granite of science with might and main when he was just learning to walk.

What to do? You must follow the instructions in the manual. But if you feel that the boss is wrong about something, share with him the right decision, in your opinion. A good boss will always appreciate fresh ideas.

You've been sat down

For several years you have pursued the goal of taking a higher position. Recently, this place was vacated, but the boss did not take you, but some girl from the side.
What to do? Explain to the boss that you have reached the maximum competence in your work and could bring great benefits by holding such and such a position. Ask how the boss sees your further progress in career ladder. Most likely, he will make a decision that suits both of you.

You are too chatty

The boss found out that you speak unflatteringly about him. He is looking for reasons to fire you, and your relationship has developed into a psychological duel. What to do? Never speak ill of your boss or co-workers. If this has already happened, the initiative to talk and apologize should come only from you.
And finally, general advice to subordinates and superiors. During a conflict, you risk becoming a hostage to your words. For example, in the heat of the moment, you loudly announce that you are quitting. But time will pass, you will calm down, but because of pride you will be forced to leave a good job. The same with the boss: in the midst of a conflict with employees, he will threaten to demote you. After a few days, everything will be settled, but pride will not allow him to take back his words, since the rest of the subordinates may think that he showed weakness. Therefore, during quarrels, it is very important to watch what you say.

To this topic

How much are you worth? There is a website zarplatomer.ru on the Internet with a questionnaire. It is enough to answer a few questions about your profession, and the salary meter will determine the level of wages corresponding to your qualifications and region of residence, taking into account offers on the labor market.

We calculated what salary a nurse, a grocery store salesman and an accountant in Voronezh and Moscow, who have work experience, professional certificates and higher education, can expect. On the website, the salary is indicated in dollars, we converted it to the domestic currency. So, according to the salary meter, a nurse in Voronezh costs 2250 - 2800 rubles, in Moscow - 3600 - 4350 rubles. A seller with us can earn 6800 - 8350 rubles, in the capital - 10700 - 13000 rubles. An accountant in Voronezh can count on a salary of 13,700 - 16,700 rubles, in Moscow - 21,500 - 26,300 rubles.

All adults most spend their time at work, then father-in-law in the team. Often our workplace becomes a home, and you often have to communicate with employees and colleagues much more often than even with the closest family members. It is clear that in view of such constant and long-term personal interaction, the possibility of a wide variety of conflict situations that can really turn life into a real nightmare is not at all excluded. Yes, and your favorite work, to which you gave yourself without a trace, may no longer bring that joy at all, a quarrel can even overshadow the joy of serious successes and achievements. Conflicts at work are quite common, therefore it is worth figuring out how to behave in order to prevent this from happening, and if the problem could not be avoided, how to get out of it with honor, and maintain good friendly relations with employees.

Path of least resistance: relationships with work colleagues different

Conflict situations in the workplace official statistics, arise quite often, and it happens that it is hardly possible to stop the cause of the conflict, and, as is clear, its consequences immediately. All people in the world are different and it is not at all surprising that the reaction to communication with some is fundamentally different from the reaction to others. Good and friendly relations with colleagues is that delicate and unreliable path that you need to learn in order to make your life and work as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

Need to know

Renowned world-famous psychologists still tend to think that the ability to get along well with people is a special gift that you can develop on your own, and your future career, and, consequently, fate may well depend on this.

However, many people think that relationships at work with colleagues should be built in such a way as to avoid any tense topics, and skillfully maneuver between icebergs of human misunderstanding, or even worse, but such an opinion is erroneous. The thing is that sometimes sorting out relationships, and maybe working moments, simply requires conflict, and avoiding it is not at all a way out of a predicament. It is extremely important to be able to distinguish the situation when it is worth avoiding a quarrel, and when it is possible and even necessary to enter into a confrontation with colleagues and colleagues.

This is precisely the solution to the problem, and it is worthwhile to understand that your attitude towards a person should be clearly distinguished and determined whether it is destructive or constructive. If you are angry at the wrong hair color, nationality, age, nose length or leg size, then you should realize that your claims have no basis in reality.

At work, you are not required to communicate with anyone, for any reason, except for work matters, so this is just the first thing you should understand for yourself. You definitely don’t owe anything to anyone, but your colleagues also have exactly the same rights so that you don’t dictate your own opinions, worldviews to them, and in general, they also don’t have to smile at you. Particularly detrimental effects of quarrels can cause conflict at work between women , because no one expects them serious problems, and it is much more difficult to reconcile angry women than men.

First things first: how to avoid conflict at work with colleagues

Doctors can confirm that it is much easier to take preventive measures and prevent the disease than to treat it later, and the psychology of team relations is also a branch of medicine. Therefore, the optimal solution for any person would be such a model of behavior at work, when conflicts can be avoided as much as possible. And there is nothing overly complicated about this at all, so let's figure out how to avoid conflicts at work and make your life much easier and more enjoyable.

It is worth making sure that you really like the work, bring joy and satisfaction. Often quarrels and swearing occur precisely where people are simply busy with their own business, they may not be satisfied with the absence career development, unsatisfactory wage, etc. Therefore, even at the stage of employment, you need to find out all the details, and besides, it will not hurt to get acquainted with future colleagues.
In no case should you think that the only true point of view is your own. Even if you are definitely a highly professional specialist, and you know exactly what's what, be prepared to listen to various points of view, perhaps they will find a rational grain worthy of undoubted attention. This is especially true when the opinion of colleagues is fundamentally different from yours. If at work there is a conflict with a colleague on professional issues, then it can be perceived as a working dispute and the search for optimal solutions, nothing more.
It is necessary to understand thoroughly the scope of your duties, which dictates to you job description. True, it is not at all excluded that you will have to help someone in something, or follow the personal directives of the boss, but you will not be allowed to sit on your head at all.
When demanding something from people, do not forget that you yourself must meet your own high standards. That is, in no case can problems with a colleague at work be solved by rudeness, rudeness, nit-picking, and so on.
There is one more rule, which we announced last here, but it is very important, so you cannot lose sight of it. Idle gossip, slander and talking behind your back - this is exactly what you should never take part in. Immediately put in place everyone who is trying to unsettle you by telling fables about colleagues, and then this problem will be removed by itself, or rather, simply will not arise.

What to do, if at work there is a conflict with a colleague: a conspiracy or paranoia

It is clear that it also happens that conflict and tense situations simply cannot be avoided, and sometimes we simply look for help already when the quarrel is ripe and is about to crack or grow to the scale of a thermonuclear attack. To understand how to get out of a conflict at work in such a situation, you should think ten times, because it’s very easy to ruin everything, and whether something can be restored later is not at all known. Often the conflict ends with a simple alienation and reduction of communication to the solution of purely business issues, and this is the most optimal way out. But in the most serious situations, they may begin to be rude and even set you up, and then you will definitely have to do something to get out of the problem with honor.

Never and under no circumstances, problems with colleagues at work can not be solved by swearing, shouting and rudeness in response to such behavior. Do not get involved in a quarrel, yell and wave your arms. A cold and detached response will be enough, and you will not lose face, and your offender will most likely be stumped, because all his behavior is aimed at causing you an emotional outburst.

If it was not possible to avoid a frank quarrel in public, then it is strictly not recommended to “suck” the details after the fact with colleagues. This long washing of the bones is not needed, since it will not benefit anyone at all.
Do not be afraid to talk about the current situation with direct guidance. However, this is a way out of the most difficult conflicts, when you are openly framed, mocked, and so on.

Worth remembering

For those who work in large companies, you need to know that specifically for resolving conflicts in a team, there is a special service called compliance. Just find out if there is something similar at your work and feel free to contact there.

Lessons from professionals: how to survive in a team and be yourself

However, it also happens that conflict situations can arise not only with colleagues. It is much more difficult to understand how to resolve a conflict at work if your opponent is also a boss or a direct supervisor. The situation is aggravated by the fact that your personal career, professional growth, and so on may depend on this person. First of all, you should understand that it is impossible to shout back, throw accusations in the face and swear.

Silently listen to the tirade to the end, and then quietly leave, closing the door behind you. Left alone, it is worth considering whether the accusations of the leader are groundless? Maybe you really should reconsider your own attitude to work? Before figuring out how to resolve a conflict at work with superiors, you need to think ten times who is right and who is wrong. Signs of a constructive conflict will not be difficult to distinguish, yet what goes beyond is already nit-picking.

Only yours can be discussed. professional activity, but not appearance, moral character, marital status, nationality and so on.
If you repeatedly received comments on the same subject, then there is a rational grain in this, isn't it?
Other colleagues often express dissatisfaction with your work, skills, actions.
The boss prefers to scold and chastise for misconduct in a closed office, and not in front of all his colleagues.
The leader frankly indicates that your actions or decisions and actions negatively affect the activities of the entire company or enterprise.

How to resolve conflict at work with direct guidance

If, upon closer examination and analysis of the situation with the authorities, you realized that according to by and large, nevertheless, there is at least a share of the blame on you, so you should think about correcting your own mistakes as soon as possible. However, it happens that the director simply did not like you, and he begins to find fault. Then it will be very difficult to get out alive and healthy, of course, figuratively speaking, and it will be very difficult to get by with a little blood. How to understand that you are being “persecuted” intentionally and not deservedly?

Constant destructive criticism is subjected not only to your professional activities, but also to personal qualities, appearance, nationality, age, gender and so on.
You regularly hear reproaches and reproaches, and on the most insignificant, and generally not related to work issues.
If the leader raises his voice, not at all embarrassed by the presence of other colleagues.
When you ask to point out mistakes, but you never get a specific wording.

Getting out of such a situation with honor can be unbearably difficult, and it may well happen that you simply have to go in search of new job. This option cannot be discounted, but you should not endure endless nit-picking and undeserved accusations for the sake of a decent salary, otherwise life can turn into a real hell, and this is not an option at all.

Never yell back, your aggression will cause a response explosion of emotions, even more powerful and destructive. Finally, I would like to repeat the words of one famous cartoon character who believed that the most important thing is calmness, and only calmness! Never lose face, it's important how to your-relationships at work, and for their own psychological, and mental, along with it, health.

We spend 40 or more hours a week talking to completely different people and by various issues. Conflicts are inevitable, because different characters, interests, points of view, and individual stress resistance of a person. And if we are in relatively equal conditions with our colleagues, then conflict with superiors You already compete in different weight categories.

There can be many reasons for the conflict itself, and all of them cannot be taken into account in one article. Therefore, I will immediately go directly to the question itself.

Conflict with superiors. Possible consequences and what to do.

Major negative outcomes if any conflict with superiors, this is a possible dismissal, or the creation of working conditions by him, under which you yourself will not be able to continue working and will leave yourself. Fortunately, all the possibilities are in his hands, and they do not always have nobility, and are also objectively honest with their subordinates.

However, it is important to remember some important points. An argument is also a dialogue, and it must also be conducted competently.

In my experience, most conflicts are not worth a damn and can be quickly resolved or avoided altogether. You have no idea how many imbeciles I've had to work with. Henchmen, sons-in-law or sons CEOs and so on, completely undeservedly occupying their post, and striving to gain authority from scratch. Believe me, you will not educate all of them and will not bring them to reason.

Tip 1. Zero emotions. If a conflict with superiors has begun, do not break loose - but rather, at first, keep silent. Emotions are a bad adviser. Hotheads will immediately object to me - what now, to be patient and silently endure everything? The answer is yes! It is to remain silent at the moment of the dispute or conflict itself. The reason for this advice: perhaps you yourself are wrong, and you need to analyze everything in a calm atmosphere. And when they yell at you, you can hardly soberly assess. I really want to answer, yes, sharper.

Tip 2. Look at the situation through his eyes. Everyone misses this moment. Everyone has their own truth and their own point of view. And other people, customers, clients put pressure on the authorities, and there is a high probability that his dissatisfaction with you is objective.

Tip 3. Separate the flies from the cutlets. If you have entered into an argument, then operate only with facts. No subjective opinions. In terms of your emotions, you will not prove your case, even if you yell louder than him.

Tip 4: Don't get personal. Every conflict has its roots. Follow them and go. Don't insult someone, whether you like them or not. Work is work, and the identity of the person does not apply to you.

Tip 5. If conflicts are not exhausted and drag on , think in a calm atmosphere (perhaps it is better to take administrative leave for a few days) - do you need this job at all? Does everything suit you in it and would you like to continue working there, if not for this conflict and this boss? At this vacancy, the light did not converge like a wedge and finding a job is not such a big problem. Anyone who claims the opposite is simply looking badly. Another question is whether you are satisfied with the conditions in the new places. And to waste your nerves on petty tyrants - I don’t think that your salary is worth it.

Signs that the boss is right after all.

Strange as it may seem, but the authorities are also adequate and in their own way, right. Often we do not notice this, just because we have other tasks and a different point of view. So the signs are:

Conflicts at work are a typical situation from which no one is immune. In fact, at least once in their entire career, an employee of the company becomes: either a member conflict situation or by an eyewitness.

In most cases, an employee who has been magical action"clash of views", does not even try to get away from the intensity of passions. On the contrary, it acts impulsively: such behavior simply cannot end happily.

Find out from our material how to resolve conflict nuances, what means and methods psychologists advise to use.

Reasons for disagreement

Unfortunately, a conflict-free life - both in the format of personal relationships and in a business environment - is practically impossible. The primary sources of all problems lie in the people themselves: in their views and needs, values and habits.

Some eagerly rush into the maelstrom of the communication war, trying to remain the only "owners of rights", others try to pass the storm, avoiding, but not extinguishing the conflict at work.

How do they do it? Primarily wise people seek to find out the cause of the conflict, and then "build" the optimal chain of how to behave in a particular situation.

Consider the main causes of "working" conflicts:

Elementary psychological incompatibility employees working on one thing: for example, choleric and melancholic.
Incompetent distribution of work functions: shifting direct powers and responsibilities onto the shoulders of a colleague can lead to serious disagreements.
Availability interpersonal relationships in the workforce: a participant in the conflict, supported by most of his colleagues, behaves more confidently and aggressively towards his opponent. The approval and support of comrades stimulates the continuation of "collision" relapses: a conflict situation at work will become a common thing in this case.
Standard misunderstanding: the reason for this is typical speech and social barriers. The conflict grows on the fertile soil of a painful difference in social status: a professor with his own format of thinking and professional experience it is quite difficult to explain the idea to a simple worker.

Neutralize!

Quarrels between employees have been and will be - this must be understood. However, you should be aware of the following: either an unpleasant event completely takes possession of you, or you yourself control the situation.

If at work a conflict with a colleague has been going on for more than a month, and you don’t know how to eliminate it, try to apply the following methods to neutralize opponents:

Awareness what happened is the first and main action that should be taken in a conflict situation. Evaluate the event rationally and coolly. If you have enough level and skills, try to avoid a quarrel with dignity: speak slowly and calmly.

Template disruption. If the contention has occurred with the authorities, to neutralize the superior opponent, use a tricky method of sensory switching: accidentally drop a pencil, cough, say something not related to the conflict. In this case, aggression will not reach you.

Attack with questions and "agreement". Did the conflict happen directly with the head of the company? In this case, using justified agreements and clarifying questions asked in a calm tone, try to find out exactly where you made a mistake. Ask the boss "without shouting" to clarify the situation.

Complimentary. Consult with a person opposed to you, appeal to his competence and professional skills, ignoring - in good sense- possible attacks from him.

Sniper technique. How to resolve a conflict at work if a colleague is trying to bully you? Just do not take his provocations, and when he tries to insist on his point of view, indifferently ask the last phrase again, referring to the fact that "they did not hear it." This, as a rule, distracts the opponent and reduces the degree of aggression.

Constructive dialogue is the most civilized method of communication. Invite an employee who dislikes you for a cup of coffee and calmly question him about the reasons for his negative attitude to you.

Calm down and warn!

Have you got a hot-tempered and picky leader? Do not even try to "set him on the right path"! This person is well-established, with his "cockroaches" and internal complexes. Better quit.

If you do not intend to leave the warm working “nest”, then you will have to adapt. Try to prevent conflicts with colleagues and superiors. Be aware of the situation: when you come to the working team for the first time, try to identify all the created coalitions and their informal leaders.

If there is a conflict with your superiors at work: prayer and some wise techniques will help you eliminate it. With aggressive leadership, it is recommended to be fully armed around the clock. Start preparing for working days at home: mentally read a prayer to your Angel, and at work - a pacifying petition to the prophet David for taming anger.

Augmented image

Confident and calm intonation: sustained tone.
Medium timbre of voice and smooth speech tempo.
Glance between the eyebrows: disarms the enemy and suppresses the aggressive mood.
Straight relaxed back: will give confidence.

Remember that you should not worry about conflicts, they must be resolved! Either you can settle it peacefully, keeping your nerves and health, or, if there is no other option, you can always find a new job! Take care of yourself and keep yours and others' peace of mind!

Hello! My name is Maria, I am 28 years old.
I beg your help - the conflict at work turned it into hard labor!
Briefly describe the situation: I have been working at this place for 4 years. Work conflicts always arise, especially since the team is quite large - 13 people in the department. But it was always decided: they argued, pouted and reconciled. There is a colleague who works almost the same amount (8 months less). Age is 2 years older. Until one moment, they communicated quite well: they were in the same positions, performed the same functions. In principle, conflicts arose over work - both were leaders by nature, but somehow they agreed and the issue was removed. We talked quite often outside of work.
But at some point, everything went awry. At first there was my wedding, which made her very nervous (she has been in a relationship for 5 years, but everything is very difficult there - they don’t live together, the young man just comes for the weekend, the budget is separate). Okay, I just ignored all of her barbs and "advice" or made them into a joke. I invited her to the wedding and the conflict came to naught.
Six months ago, she took out a mortgage - an exorbitant burden for her - the entire salary goes to payments. I tried to cheer up, to help. There seemed to be no conflict.
But a month ago there was an attestation at work. We were supposed to be promoted to a category each, but as a result: she was promoted through a category, and I was left in the same position with the wording: "corresponds to the position (category) held. Raise the professional and business level. Has the right to undergo recertification in a year." I heard the wording from the management: “She needs help! She is alone, and she has a mortgage. It’s difficult for her. We must be sorry. But you still have a husband” pay)
I was depressed. I spent 3 days in tears and went to the hospital due to nervousness - I'm allergic, so my nerves greatly affected my appearance - I had to sit on sick leave so as not to scare my colleagues with bloody scratches.
When she came out - in my direction a complete ignore. Communication is dry. Either one or two phrases purely for work, or by e-mail. Now the conflict has reached the point where she does not greet, does not say goodbye, interrupts when I say something, and since she is now a leading specialist, she is constantly trying to command (I have subordination to another person - I have nothing to do with her). At first I tried to establish relations at least on a business level. She did it while shedding tears. I just didn’t want other colleagues to suffer because of our conflict. But it didn't work. And I spat!
She also has a conflict with other guys, though not so sharp.
Tell me what to do? I don’t feel like going to work - I’m not in the mood to do anything - I sit all day in headphones, listen to music so as not to hear it. I come home depressed. If earlier I somehow made contact, now I find myself starting to be harmful too - I ignore (but in terms of politeness I remain a well-mannered person), I refuse help (today I refused the No-shpa pill, preferred to get dressed and go to pharmacy).
I don't want to change jobs - I love my team and my work. And I don’t want to give up that I raised it as my own brainchild - I came at the time of foundation and raised everything from scratch ... It’s a pity ...
I would be very grateful for advice!

Psychologists Answers

Maria, hello!

From the outside, this is seen as rivalry, a manifestation of your weakness, behaved like an offended little girl! The whole team appreciated such a bright manifestation!

Nothing bad happened, why are you reacting like that?!

A year seems like a lot ... There will be a holiday on your street.

It is in such situations that the essence of man is known. It is more convenient for us to take part in a person’s life when he feels bad (rehabilitating himself at such a moment, saying that I have something else and nothing ...), but sincerely rejoice, help in achieving success, often does not work!

Change your view of the current situation, do not destroy your relationship with your offspring. Favorite work - such a rarity! And a person feels happy if he has well-being in his family and his favorite job! Don't take away your happiness. Build relationships with colleagues with t.z. self-sufficient woman (A person cannot be offended, he can be offended himself. The point is not what happened, but how we reacted).

Sincerely, Olga Borisovna.

Good answer 1 bad answer 1

Hello Maria! let's see what's going on:

conflict at work turned her into hard labor!

if the problem is that YOU see a conflict - then there is only one way out - STOP seeing it in this! and thereby let him go! and find SOMETHING that YOU enjoy in your work!

But at some point, everything went awry. First there was my wedding, which made her very nervous.(she has been in a relationship for 5 years, but everything is very difficult there - they don’t live together, the young man just comes for the weekend, the budget is separate). Okay, I'm just ignored all her barbs and "advice" or turned them into a joke. I invited her to the wedding and the conflict came to naught.

and how do you know that HER was nervous about your wedding? You drew conclusions only on the fact that she does not add up. In YOUR opinion, HER life? Or did she tell you this herself? after all, YOU yourself interpreted HER behavior, read her thoughts and feelings, and STARTED YOURSELF to see barbs and "advice" in her appeals and words - and what she felt - YOU DO NOT KNOW!

did you ask? Have you openly expressed your feelings to her?

Six months ago, she took out a mortgage - an exorbitant burden for her - the entire salary goes to payments. I tried to cheer up, to help. There seemed to be no conflict.

she took - it's her choice! and what to YOU FROM it? Sun SHE asked for HELP, cheer her up? You and In this situation were ready to see the conflict - and YOU went to contact with her so that IT DID NOT arise - but was he there?

But a month ago there was an attestation at work. We were supposed to be upgraded to a category each, but as a result: she was promoted through the category, and they left me at the same with the wording: "corresponds to the position (category) held. Raise the professional and business level. Has the right to undergo recertification in a year." Heard from management the wording: "She needs help! She's alone, and she has a mortgage. It's difficult for her. You should be sorry. But you still have a husband" (I’ll say right away: our boss is inadequate, but we are used to it and don’t pay attention to him)

those. YOU feel a sense of resentment, disappointment - AND WHAT DOES IT DO WITH HERE ??? and what exactly disappointed you - IS IT? or a MANAGEMENT attitude? that the boss took an infantile position - BUT - again, SHE has nothing to do with it - she IS NOT responsible FOR YOUR feelings, thoughts and actions !! And is she the center of the conflict?

When she came out - in my direction a complete ignore. Communication is dry. Either one or two phrases purely for work, or by e-mail. Now the conflict has reached the point where she does not say hello, does not say goodbye, interrupts when I say something, and since she is now a leading specialist, she is constantly trying to command

where is the conflict? there is just ignoring! YOURSELF perceive communication as "dry" and accordingly behave in the same way as you perceive this situation - also "dry"! and what prevents YOU from reaching out to contact, to communication - after all, YOU still DO NOT know what she feels! You projected your feelings, your resentment FOR the decision of the authorities ON HER - and is she the source of YOUR feelings!

what to do? I don’t feel like going to work - I’m not in the mood to do anything - I sit all day in headphones, listen to music so as not to hear it. I come home depressed.

stop seeing what YOU want to see and allow yourself to suffer FROM this! realize and accept your experiences, resentments, and leave them to yourself in order to go through them, and NOT stop!

look for resources for yourself - how can you enjoy and FROM what? find!

If earlier I somehow made contact, now I find myself starting to be harmful too - I ignore (but in terms of politeness I remain a well-mannered person), I refuse help (today I refused the No-shpa pill, preferred to get dressed and go to pharmacy).

What's stopping you from ignoring? accept!!! help - you are NOT accepting help because you are NOT accepting your feelings yet! why? Do you like to suffer like this? why don't you love yourself? the conflict will be exactly as long as YOU will see it! the choice is yours!

Maria, if you really decide to figure out what is happening - you can feel free to contact me - call - I will be glad to help you!

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