David Leroy - Psychotechniques of influence. Secret techniques of special services

The power of charm according to the methods of the special services. Meet the book “Turn on the charm using the methods of the secret services” from the publishing house MYTH. The book Turn on the Charm was written by 2 intelligence agents Jack Schafer and Marvin Carlins. Read the article and learn how to use the power of charm and the secrets of charm from the book to acquire friends, business partners and a spouse.

The power of charm according to the methods of the secret services book

For a long time I have not seen books written according to the scheme: a textbook with illustrations and explanations for them.

However, the MIF publishing house again pleased with the high-quality translation of the book, equipped with explanatory photographs and practical advice, which are easy to perform even for an inexperienced reader.

This is probably what the methodology should look like for intelligence agents who use their charm to the fullest to instantly “become one of the people” in any campaign, among strangers.

Cover of the book “Turning on the charm using the methods of the secret services”

We, as readers of the book by D. Schafer and M. Karlins, can use the secrets and power of charm to become "charming cutie" or "a charming bastard“, and achieve your goals in communication: make many friends and acquire useful connections and acquaintances.

“I learned that people will forget what you said and they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”. Maya Angelou

All books by Dale Carnegie that you can find and download - without comments, as well as:

• Psychology of Persuasion Robert Cialdini, Steve Martin and Noah Goldstein

• Communication skills Paul McGee

• Laws of influence Susan Weinschenk

• The Art of Influence Mark Goulston and John Ullman

• I can hear right through you Mark Goulston

People who feel threatened instinctively hide their carotid arteries, pulling their heads into their shoulders, and open their necks when meeting a person from whom they do not expect anything terrible.

Head tilt- a very friendly signal. People who tilt their heads to the side when communicating seem much more attractive and trustworthy to each other.

A man who approaches a woman with his head slightly tilted to the right or left will be considered more interesting and handsome by her than he actually is.

Turn on the charm: TILT THE HEAD

In the same way, men believe more attractive women tilting their head to the side when talking.

Turn on the charm. Secret 3: SMILE

Smiling causes our brain to produce endorphins, which is one of pleasure. That's why smiling people bring joy and pleasure from communicating with them.

Smile- a powerful signal of friendliness. A smiling face appears more attractive, likable and less arrogant.

A smiling person is easier to approach at a party with strangers.

Turn on the charm: SMILE

The only difficulty is to smile sincerely; people immediately distinguish a sincere smile from a fake one.

Power of Charm: Smile Test

Look at the last picture that I took from the book “Turn on the Charm” and determine: in which photo: the left or right smile young man sincere?

Well, what have you determined? Write in the comments , how did you answer and why - what signs did you rely on?

Turn on the charm: CONCLUSIONS

• The most important conclusion from this article: hurry up and buy yourself a book, which was written by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins and which was translated by the publishing house MIF for you, since it will very soon become a rarity.

• Use 3 charm secrets. When you walk into a bar, a party, or a new office, take a moment raise your eyebrows, slightly bow your heads y and smile. Sincerely. Enjoy chatting with new friends.

• Write your own charm secret in the comments. Write comments and you will find at least one friend and mentor: the author of this blog - .

Share the article and 3 secrets of charm on a social network with your friends:

Turn on the charm using the secret services method and forget to turn it off- here is another secret to happy communication, full of pleasure and enthusiasm.

Read the best materials from a happiness psychologist on this topic!

• How to develop memory? Today is a new review of a book about the classical method of memory development. In the book "Memory Development. The Classic Guide to […]

Psychology professor Jack Schafer taught his colleagues techniques of influence and persuasion, which are sometimes unthinkable without personal charm. According to Shafer, there is golden rule, how to win over any person: “Make your interlocutor like himself.”

How to achieve this? We present 6 tips from Jack Schafer that he successfully used in work and in life.

1. Make a mistake

He uses this technique to achieve 3 goals. First, when students notice a teacher's mistake, it makes them feel more confident. Secondly, they begin to communicate more freely with the mentor. Thirdly, they allow themselves to make mistakes.

This technique can be used to win over anyone. Make mistakes, show your imperfections, let people correct you. And they will be favorable to you.

2. Talk to people about themselves

We are too busy with ourselves and take little interest in those around us. But in order to please people, you need to be sincerely interested in them.

When people talk about themselves, whether in a personal conversation or on social networks, the same pleasure centers in the brain are activated as when delicious food or money.

Therefore, in order to win people over, it is important to talk to them about their affairs. Be interested in their family, biography, their opinion on this or that matter. Then gratitude, sometimes unconscious, is guaranteed.

3. Give a compliment in the third person.

Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive. Many are not ready to accept them or experience discomfort. In such cases, it is better to use a third-person compliment.

Let's say you want to ask accountant Anna Ivanovna for a favor and say the phrase: “Anna Ivanovna, the head of the HR department said that you are the most conscientious employee of the company.”

No need to praise professional qualities, maybe personal ones. For example, like this: “Anna Ivanovna, the head of the HR department still remembers your pies with onions that you brought for your birthday.” This will make people more comfortable.

4. Show empathy

Everyone is pleased to know that they are listening to him attentively and sharing their emotions with him. Of course, if they tell you about a difficult day, you shouldn’t moan: “What a horror! Oh, you poor thing!” It’s better to say: “Yes, you had a difficult day today. It doesn’t happen to anyone!” If a person says that they have coped with a difficult task, the appropriate phrase is: “It looks like things are going great for you today. This is cool!"

We must convince the interlocutor that we understand him. At the same time, if you intend to provide support, you do not need to accurately reproduce the person’s words. The interlocutor may become wary and regard the repetition as something unnatural.

5. Ask for a favor

Benjamin Franklin famously said: “He who has done you good once is more willing to help you again than he whom you have helped yourself.” This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who shows kindness to another grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please someone, then it is better not to do him a favor, but, on the contrary, to ask for a favor. But remember, don’t overuse requests for help.

As Franklin noted again, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell bad on the third day.” The same can be said about people who ask for favors too often.

6. Make the person praise himself

There is a very fine line between an ordinary compliment and flattery, so it is better to make the interlocutor praise himself.

For example, someone tells you this story: “I worked day and night to close this project.” Here you can say: “Yes, this requires an iron will.” You're almost guaranteed to get a response like this: “Yes, I had to work hard to get the project done on time. I did a great job."

Creating conditions for a person to praise himself is aerobatics. Practice this advice often, please people.

Psychology Professor Jack Schafer for many years worked as a special agent for the FBI and taught other agents techniques of influence and persuasion, which are sometimes unthinkable without personal charm. According to him, there is a golden rule, using which you can win over any person. And it sounds like this: “Make your interlocutor like himself.”

1. Make a mistake.

When Jack Schafer begins teaching a new class, he casually mispronounces a word and allows the students to correct themselves. “I pretend to be embarrassed, thank them for their consideration, and correct the mistake,” Jack says.
He uses this technique to achieve 3 goals. First, when students correct a teacher's mistake, it makes them feel more confident. Secondly, they begin to communicate more freely with the mentor. Thirdly, they allow themselves to make mistakes.
This technique can be used to win over any person. Make mistakes, show your imperfections, let people correct you. And they will be favorable to you.

2. Talk to people about themselves.

We are too busy with ourselves and take very little interest in the people we meet. But in order to please people, you need to be sincerely interested in them.

“You will make more friends in two months by being genuinely interested in people than by trying to get them to be interested in you in two years.” (Dale Carnegie)
“When people talk about themselves, whether in a personal conversation or on social networks, the same pleasure centers in the brain are activated as when eating delicious food or money.” (Robert Lee Holtz)
These two quotes show how important it is to talk to people about their business in order to win them over. Take an interest in their family, biography, children, their opinion on this and that matter, and gratitude, sometimes unconscious, is guaranteed to you.

3. Give a compliment in the third person.

Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive. Many people are not ready to take them or experience discomfort. In such cases, it is better to use a third-person compliment.

For example, you want to ask accountant Anna Ivanovna for some favor and you include the following phrase: “Anna Ivanovna, by the way, the head of the HR department said that you are the most conscientious employee of our company.”

It is not necessary, of course, to praise some professional qualities; you can also praise personal ones. For example, like this: “Anna Ivanovna, the head of the HR department still remembers your pies with onions that you brought for your birthday.”

4. Don't forget to sympathize.

Every person is pleased to know that he is listened to attentively and his emotions are shared with him. Of course, if a person starts talking about how he had a hard day, you shouldn’t moan: “What a horror, you poor thing!” Especially if it's your boss.
A simple statement like: “Yes, you had a difficult day today. It doesn’t happen to anyone!” If a person tells you that he was able to cope with a difficult case, you can summarize it like this: “It looks like things are going great for you today. This is cool!"
We must convince the interlocutor that we share his feelings and understand him. At the same time, if you are trying to support a person, you do not need to accurately reproduce his words.
The interlocutor may be wary: he will perceive the repetition as something unnatural.

5. Ask for a favor.

Benjamin Franklin famously said: “He who has done you good once is more willing to help you again than he whom you have helped yourself.” This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who shows kindness to another person grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please a person, then it is better not to do him a favor, but to ask him for a favor. Of course, you shouldn’t overuse requests for help.

As Franklin wittily noted: “Guests, like fish, begin to smell bad on the third day.” The same can be said for people who ask for favors too often.

6. Make the person praise himself.

There is a very fine line between an ordinary compliment and flattery, so it is better to make the interlocutor praise himself. For example, someone tells you this story: “I worked day and night to close this project.” Here you can say: “Yes, this requires an iron will.” It’s almost guaranteed that your interlocutor will answer something like: “Yes, I had to work hard to deliver the project on time. I certainly did a great job. There’s nothing to be said here.”

The ability to make a person praise himself is aerobatics. Practice it, make people happy. And you will definitely like it.

All this advice is certainly not a call for hypocrisy. We just want to help you do nice things for other people and live in peace with everyone.

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Psychology professor Jack Schafer worked for many years as an FBI special agent and taught other agents techniques of influence and persuasion, which are sometimes unthinkable without personal charm. According to him, there is a golden rule, using which you can win over any person. And it sounds like this: “ Make the other person like you».

How to achieve this? website gives 6 great tips from Jack Schafer, which he has tried many times in work and in life.

1. Make a mistake

When Jack Schafer begins teaching a course of lectures to a new class, he casually makes a mistake in the pronunciation of a word and allows the students to correct themselves. “I pretend to be embarrassed, thank them for their consideration, and correct the mistake,” Jack says.

He uses this technique to achieve 3 goals. First, when students correct a teacher's mistake, it makes them feel more confident. Secondly, they begin to communicate more freely with the mentor. Thirdly, they allow themselves to make mistakes.

2. Talk to people about themselves

We are too busy with ourselves and take very little interest in the people we meet. But in order to please people, you need to be sincerely interested in them.

“You will make more friends in two months by being genuinely interested in people than by trying to get them to be interested in you in two years.” (Dale Carnegie)

« When people talk about themselves it doesn’t matter - in a personal conversation or on social networks, the same pleasure centers in the brain are activated as from delicious food or money" (Robert Lee Holtz)

These two quotes show how important it is to talk to people about their business in order to win them over. Take an interest in their family, biography, children, their opinion on this and that matter, and gratitude, sometimes unconscious, is guaranteed to you.

3. Give a compliment in the third person.

Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive. Many people are not ready to take them or experience discomfort. In such cases, it is better to use a third-person compliment.

For example, you want to ask accountant Anna Ivanovna for some favor and you include the following phrase: “Anna Ivanovna, by the way, the head of the HR department said that you are the most conscientious employee of our company.”

It is not necessary, of course, to praise some professional qualities; you can also praise personal ones. For example, like this: “Anna Ivanovna, the head of the HR department still remembers your pies with onions that you brought for your birthday.”

4. Don't forget to sympathize.

Every person is pleased to know that they listen to him attentively and share his emotions with him. Of course, if a person starts talking about how he had a hard day, you shouldn’t moan: “What a horror, you poor thing!” Especially if it's your boss.

A simple statement like: “Yes, you had a difficult day today. It doesn’t happen to anyone!” If a person tells you that he was able to cope with a difficult case, you can summarize it like this: “It looks like things are going great for you today. This is cool!"

We must convince the interlocutor that we share his feelings and understand him. At the same time, if you are trying to support a person, you do not need to accurately reproduce his words. The interlocutor may be wary: he will perceive the repetition as something unnatural.

5. Ask for a favor

Benjamin Franklin famously said: “He who has done you good once is more willing to help you again than he whom you have helped yourself.” This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who shows kindness to another person grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please a person, then it is better not to do him a favor, but to ask him for a favor. Of course, you should not abuse requests for help.

As Franklin wittily noted: “Guests, like fish, begin to smell bad on the third day.” The same can be said for people who ask for favors too often.

6. Make the person praise himself

There is a very fine line between a simple compliment and flattery, so It’s better to make the interlocutor praise himself. For example, someone tells you this story: “I worked day and night to close this project.” Here you can say: “Yes, this requires an iron will.” It’s almost guaranteed that your interlocutor will answer something like: “Yes, I had to work hard to deliver the project on time. I certainly did a great job. There’s nothing to be said here.”

The ability to make a person praise himself is aerobatics. Practice it, make people happy. And you will definitely like it.

All this advice is certainly not a call for hypocrisy. We just want to help you do nice things for other people and live in peace with everyone.

Build effective communication with a person you see for the first time - quite difficult task. Getting down to business immediately is not always productive, especially in the Russian tradition of negotiations. First, you need to establish contact by talking about your partner’s “points” - about what a person is passionate about, what he can talk about endlessly. Everyone has such “clues” - some are simple, some are more complex. Read our article about how to remember the terms of a deal, contract amounts and phone numbers using the methods of the special services.

In this article you will read:

• How to train memory and attention using the methods of special services
• How to easily establish contact with a potential client or partner
• How to keep decisions, work plans and agreements in mind
• How to remember the terms of a transaction, contract amounts and phone numbers

How to train memory and attention for managers to remember the important details of negotiations in the work of managers? Hundreds of businessmen are looking for the answer to this question. Let's look at how to train memory development using the methods of the special services, which Denis Bukin, author of the book “Development of Memory Using the Methods of the Special Services,” described in his book.

The simplest option: if the interlocutor came to the meeting by car, talk about the make of his car, parking, traffic jams, interchanges, road repairs, etc. You can talk with women about children, household chores, despite the fact that they are a business -lady. But the most effective way establish contact - prepare for the first meeting. Find someone to talk to in advance social networks or read his personal blog, study the traces he left on the Internet - this way you will understand what he is passionate about. Talking about his interests will allow you to establish personal contact.

Next, you need to allow the interlocutor to talk about your hobby and, while listening to him, add comments or even argue carefully. This way you will identify positive personality traits of your partner that should be noted in the conversation, pointing out that you yourself do not possess them. For example, athletes and fans remember the standings, all the victories and defeats of their favorite team over the decades. You can say to such a person: “You have an excellent memory. But I’m not like that, I don’t remember so much.” If your interlocutor makes model airplanes, it means he has patience, perseverance, and the ability to work with his hands - then note: “But I’m not like that, I can’t work with my hands.” In most cases, the interlocutor is embarrassed because he is better than you, and he will try to support you and convince you that you can do it too, that there is nothing unattainable in his abilities. This is the very moment when you can move the conversation to the essence of the matter for which you met: contact has been established, the person trusts you, and you can calmly discuss the details of the deal.

How to remember a person’s name and his hobbies for a long time

At an unplanned meeting - say, at a conference - it is better to immediately address the person by name and start the conversation with his “points”. This inspires sympathy and trust. You can remember and quickly reproduce such information using the peculiarities of our memory (figure). It is better to tie the name to some highlight of appearance - for example, to an outstanding facial feature. At the same time, you need to mentally exaggerate it. For example, I have a beard - although this is a changeable factor, it will work well because you will remember it anyway. You imagine that the beard is just very big. Then you need to make an association with it: you can imagine the person as a sort of stereotypical Russian - gloomy, gloomy, with a beard. If he is gloomy, it means he walks like a beech, that is, Bukin. At the same time, the mustache can be imagined as a hussar's mustache, and the hussar is Denis Davydov. It turns out Bukin Denis. That is, you build a mental model, a picture, and thus associate a person’s appearance with his first and last name - and remember them.

Then you can add “points” to this image. For example, you noticed that your interlocutor good memory. Imagine a caricature of a bearded man with a good memory - say, with an exaggeratedly large forehead. Of course, the picture will turn out to be absurd, but there is nothing “wrong” about it - this way the information will be easier to remember. When you see this person again, this picture will immediately appear before your eyes, and you will recreate his first name, last name and the main points.

To successfully use the method at the first stage, it is important to form a habit. Take some newspaper and try to remember all the characters whose images are there. You look at the photo, imagine main feature Based on this person’s appearance and based on this trait, as well as his first and last name, you build a mental picture, a story - and remember it. The habit of memorizing in this way comes quite quickly; often one newspaper is enough. But some people are afraid of the absurdity of these imaginary pictures, while there is nothing scary in caricatured exaggeration. The more unusual the image, the better it will be remembered.

How to remember the details of negotiations

To remember the progress of negotiations, it is important not so much to have a good memory as to be able to highlight the main points and mentally record them. Here we continue to complete the created image of the interlocutor, adding associations. For example, it is important to remember what a person does. Take the picture you have already come up with and build the scope of his activity into it. Some time ago I spoke with an office partition installer; in the first minutes I imagined him in a labyrinth of partitions - a vivid image allowed me to remember his occupation.

During negotiations, you should not record everything on a tape recorder or take detailed notes - this is unproductive. You need to highlight the main points and remember them or write them down on paper: then using them it will be much easier to reproduce what was said.

Motivation and context are of great importance for memory, because a person better remembers the information necessary in life.

Our brain highlights what it considers important, so before you remember something, you need to formulate for yourself the reason why you need to remember it and the benefit you will get from it. For example, you can say to yourself that you are memorizing a competitor’s price list in order to impress the counterparty and look confident, arguing for a price change in your favor.

How to keep a lot of numbers in your head

When memorizing numbers, immersion in the topic is important. We are good at remembering information that concerns us professional activity or hobbies. Each number in this case correlates with those that we already know and remember; it is built into the system of associations. You can easily reproduce the contract amounts of important clients. But how do you remember less significant numbers, such as a phone number? Since numbers are abstract information that is intangible, you need to turn it into tangible information. This can be done using substitute images: they encode numbers into a picture (table), and through a fictitious story the numbers can be associated with these images. The more absurd the story, the better it will be remembered.

For example, you need to remember the contract number 19 862. Let’s create a mental picture: on the beach, a long fairground pole (1) ending with a candy cane (9) is stuck into the sand. An elephant (6) rides around a pole on a bicycle (8), followed by a goose (2), quacking and cackling.

How to remember your plans

Retrospective memory is responsible for remembering events that have already taken place, and prospective memory is responsible for intentions and plans. Remembering the future is constructed differently than remembering the past. Firstly, you need to remember the intention itself, and secondly, you need to remember it at the right time. Most often, forgetting occurs at the second point: people lose their plans from memory due to the lack of an external reminder.

To improve your prospective memory, choose “targets” for yourself - events that are guaranteed to happen during the day. For example, you say hello to the concierge, cross the road near your house, see a white bus, enter the subway. You need to try to notice these “targets” as many times as possible, note the event to yourself - count how many times you “hit the target.” You need to train on one “target” for several days, then replace it with another, then you can set yourself several “targets” at once. This training will develop your ability to remember an intention in response to an external event.

Then you need to learn to remember your intention at the right moment. Here you will need a good sense of time: it helps, without external prompts, to remember the planned task exactly when you need it. Record the time on a stopwatch or watch with a second hand. Then, without looking at your watch, note the past minute, five minutes, ten minutes and hour. At the same time, you need to do normal things and not try to count the seconds to yourself. If your sense of timing is wrong, note it and try again.

Now you can develop a system that will help you remember your plans. The simplest thing is to write them down in your diary and constantly return to them. In this case, you need to develop the habit of remembering to refer to your notes at the beginning of each day and after completing each task. The second option is to constantly “scan” intentions, tying them to some event. For example, every time a secretary approaches you with documents, you remember the list of urgent meetings and include them in your work plan.

The most reliable way is to develop rules and rituals. For example, every morning you collect data on the tasks completed by your subordinates for the previous working day, and every day after lunch you check the status of urgent tasks that are not too late to fix.

Also, we often do not complete current affairs if we are distracted by something else while solving a task: attention switches, and we forget about what we are doing. You can avoid this if, when your attention is distracted, you stop, record in your memory where you were interrupted, then create and mentally play new plan actions. In your plan, you should imagine putting off the first task, completing the second, and then returning to the first. This will create a mark that the task is not finished, the motivational tension will remain, and you will remember that you need to return to the first task and complete it.

• Career, Work, Study