How to change yourself and your life for the better. How to change yourself completely, practical steps. Change your life for the better: forget about New Year's resolutions.
Life can be changed! Happiness exists.
Surprisingly, with all today's busy day, frantic pace and fuss, we very rarely think about something important. Very often all our thoughts are completely immersed in unimportant trifles and everyday problems, one day is similar to another, and the years are replaced by the same monotonous years. Many understand the strangeness of such walking in circles but continue to live in the same spirit, in boredom and monotony. But to notice new opportunities, you just need to raise your head and look around.
Part One: It's All in Understanding
Get ready to open a window to endless possibilities, breathe fresh air and know that you are all you really need to change your life. If you don't like where you are, change it, you are not a tree. - Jim Rohn. Part of the journey of growth and change involves finding some of our unfamiliar places, places we probably tend to avoid on a regular basis.
It's time to shine a light on the shadows and better understand what has brought you to this moment in your life. Behavioral scientists Prochaska and DiClement founded the concept of the Trans Theoretical Model. The idea is that people move from one stage to another. Each stage is a preparation for the next, so rushing or skipping can lead to failure. It's safe to say that if you're reading this, you're in the contemplative stage. This stage implies that you want to change your life in the short term.
To grow, you need to change. Once your life stops changing, your growth stops. If your life does not change, then it is unlikely that something new, suddenly happy, will suddenly happen in it.
Unfortunately, happy people a little. There is such a strange law: the more cheap pleasures, the less joy. So, alcohol does not make a person happy, but the main function computer games- kill personal time. But happiness exists, and happiness is great. A person can change anything in his life. He can move, choose any occupation, engage in creativity, live for the sake of some kind of his own business, you can start a family, have children, or remain free, you can choose any circle of friends, any hobby. And what is most important and surprising is that a person can change himself. He can get rid of what is bad for him and learn what makes him good.
What if I'm happy with my office job?
Your goal is to reach last stage maintain the changes you've made. Let's start with self-esteem. To get started, you'll want to answer the following questions and write down your answers. Therapist Elizabeth Sullivan explains, "Writing helps us keep track of our thoughts and feelings, which can lead to key messages." By answering the following questions, you can hope.
Why do you want to change your life?
Typically, when someone wants to make a change, he or she is faced with many challenges. When you face a challenge, express deep and be honest with yourself about what inspires you to change your life.
What parts of your life would you like to change?
Are you dissatisfied with your job? Do you want to go back to school? Are you having problems in your relationship? Do you want to save more money? If you could think of three things you would like to change in your life, what would they be?Why, with so many opportunities, some of us live like a plant, without much active action just going with the flow? The fact is that the gift of freedom that is given to us includes the ability to do nothing.
This choice is very simple, but at the same time quite stupid and disadvantageous. Why choose the worst when you can get the best? Usually, in response to such a question, they answer something like - what can you do? That's the kind of person I am. Such a fate. That's what happened.
Again, you need to be honest with your answers. Only you know in your heart what you want to change. Is there something you wish you could do? Somewhere you're dying to visit? Do you wish you had more time to perfect a particular set of skills? You want new friendship? How about a closer relationship with your children? Define what you are doing.
How ready are you to make a change?
As much as we want to do something new, the idea of changing our lives can be intimidating and keep us from taking the first step towards change. Are you ready to move to new town for a dream? Would you hire to give you that kick that will start towards your goal? How about reducing and minimizing your stuff? Try to imagine your ideal situation and determine the extent to which you need to change it.
But you don't know what kind of person you really are. To know yourself, you need to try yourself in different forms communication with different people different types activities. We cannot fully know ourselves until the end of our lives, but what does a person who has tried five percent of what is available to him know about himself?
There are properties of a person that are a little amenable to change. For example, temperament. It is unlikely that you will suddenly become slow, gloomy and calm from a cheerful, unbalanced optimist. But what we call character can be changed, because it is just a set of habits inherited from parents or acquired during life. By changing this set for the better, a person becomes happier. Also, you do not have to repeat the life of your parents, earn a lot of money, or go all out to achieve success in a field that is deeply disgusting to you. Because in our life we are free. Free to change circumstances, change ourselves, become happy. If the soul of a person is harmonious, he is happy with any material possibilities. If a person's soul is sick, then he is unhappy, no matter how successful he is in the monetary sense. Therefore, in order to change your life, you need to start not with a career, not with making money, not with love affairs, but from himself.
Here are some useful tools that can help you
After all, change is uncomfortable but necessary and gives us a way to learn more about ourselves. So now that you have a better idea of what and why you need to make changes, you need to go over some basics before making any changes. You need to get down to your basics. You need to find what makes you peck. there can be a difference between achieving your goals and just going through the motions of everyday life as if you are stuck on repetition. With no clarity and no vision for the life you want, how are you going to get there?
When we deal with ourselves, we are mainly dealing with our habits, both good and bad. But there is something in a person that stands above these habits and is able to influence them. It doesn't matter what it's called - spirit, consciousness or something else. From a practical point of view, the properties of this dominant part of our personality, reason and will, are important. Thanks to these qualities, we are able to analyze, make decisions and act.
It's like jumping in a car on your way to a place you've never been without a map. You end up driving in circles, stopping to ask for directions, and hopefully if the stars align, you will. But the goal is not to depend on hope to change your life, to find solutions.
There won't be an easy way
How many successful people do you know that only wing it every day? Most often you will find that successful people did a soul search and found who they are, where they want to end up, and then made a success-oriented plan. Starting by clarifying who you are, you will help you make decisions that shape your future.
What stops us from changing our lives?
Let's look at the main obstacles to changing our lives:
- Lack of motive Two women, equal in ability and character, begin to learn how to drive. One - because she needs to take the children to the kindergarten in the morning, the second - for the company. Who will learn faster? The answer is obvious. Link the changes in your life to something very good and imagine that everything will come true.
Below are some of the questions you should answer before starting to change. You will want to write down your answers for later reflection. Keep in mind when you answer questions: there are no right or wrong answers.
- What beliefs?
- What beliefs do you support?
- Where did these beliefs come from?
- Why do you have these beliefs?
- Influence of parents Childhood upbringing leaves its mark on the whole life. If parents always indicated what to do and led all events, then a person long years experiencing anxiety and even fear of any independent action. He can plan changes, but implementing them is a huge stress for him. But there's nothing to be done, the first few years of an independent life you have to step over yourself, then this heavy hereditary inertia recedes.
What if my friends think I'm crazy?
The beliefs we have about ourselves can either move us forward in life or hold us back. By saying things like "I'm a failure" or "I don't deserve to be happy," write a script for our lives that keeps us from succeeding. One of the first things you can do is think "I'm just as worthy as everyone else to find happiness", or "I may fail, but at least I have the courage to try" . When we change our attitude, we may find more success.
- Chronic fatigue Work - home - work. A person lives like a clockwork, and even a rare time of rest does not bring much joy. In this state, the desire for change is not supported by emotions. They just don't have enough energy. Try to make changes in your life in small doses. But daily!
- Internal protest You have planned everything, thought of everything, but there are always reasons to postpone plans. Perhaps deep down you feel that the upcoming changes will bring significant inconvenience, and therefore subconsciously slow them down. Deal with this situation. If you want change, then be fully aware of this.
When can you say "I'm doing X"? When does X become your new profession?
What beliefs do you have that are limiting you? Have you ever asked yourself why you feel this way? Does this reasoning make sense to you? To better understand how to do this, let's look at a woman named Nancy. When she was ten years old, she had a bad experience giving cool presentation. So bad that over the next twenty years, she repeatedly told herself she couldn't speak in public. It affected her school life, her work and even her social life.
- Breaking the Laws of the Universe Sounds a little weird, but it works. There are basic laws of the universe and violation of them causes a response. There are several laws, violating which a person goes a little differently than he would like. Read these laws, you get acquainted with them, then there are no internal contradictions, everything is very logical and correct:
The belief that she could not speak in public was indeed a product of her own imagination. The apprehension she had about public speaking became so severe that she truly believed that public speaking was impossible for her.
To change her ways, Nancy must answer the following questions.
- What do you want to achieve?
- Why didn't you achieve anything?
- What beliefs are stopping you?
- Law of Free Will No one has the right to violate the will of another. Neither parents of children, nor children of parents, nor teachers of students, nor colleagues, nor friends. You can not force someone to do something by force, against his will.
- Law of Love. Try to turn the negative into a positive on their own, at the same moment as soon as this negative appears. The black evil inside can only act against you.
By doing this, Nancy can feel a sense of encouragement. Now that she knows the what and why, Nancy can begin to reverse her beliefs, carefully retraining her brain to recognize her worth and ability to overcome the challenge. public speaking. She will discover that she can speak in public.
What is your personal mission statement?
Nancy can make changes when she tries to change her perception. Most organizations and businesses have a clear idea of why they do what they do and how they intend to do it. This is the organization's mission statement. He captures their common goals and summarizes them in a pleasant, neat thought. It is important for people that they have a mission statement that can guide them how they want to make life decisions.
- Law of Justice. This law says that we have exactly what we deserve, no more and no less. And this is always true, without exception. It is impossible to break it, you can only take note.
- Law of Harmony. The universe is always striving for balance. When a "skew" occurs somewhere, the Universe immediately creates a situation to correct this warp. Thus, you get what you deserve every time you go the wrong way, when you upset the balance with your way of thinking and behavior.
Creating a personal mission statement gives you clarity and gives you a motto that you can integrate into yours. everyday life even if you feel like giving up. This personal constitution will help you find a new vitality. Determine your value, your purpose and reason. Use some of the information you wrote down from the previous section to write your mission statement. Below are some sample missions to help you get started.
You want your mission statement to inspire you. Expect your mission to change throughout your life as you change certain aspects of your life such as your career, your interests and your skills. Write down your mission statement as. Every day as you move forward, ask yourself if what you are doing is helping you achieve your goals.
Tips for changing your life
- Slow down. To change your life, you need time to think and reflect. If you are always busy and don't have time to even think about changing your life, you won't have time to change it either. Slow down and take the time to look around and choose the right course.
How to determine what is mine?
The additional questions below will help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and how to make the right changes in your life. Focus on your strengths. Are you reliable and responsible? What three words would your family and friends use to describe you?
- What are your current interests?
- What other interests would you like to try?
- What are your hobbies?
- What turns you on?
- Determine your strengths and weaknesses.
- Understand that everything can be changed. This is your life and no one can change it but you. If you yourself do not want to change, only a very strong shock will make you do it. To find in yourself the willingness to change, you must clearly understand that you can always improve your life. If it's good, let it get even better. If it's bad, just let it change for the better.
Now you have a good idea of where you are and that you know what you need to work on. As you ponder these questions, consider making a vision for yourself. In the same way that writing helps us visualize purpose by creating a collage of magazine clippings, printed material and other tidbits, can be a daily motivator and a way to sort out your thoughts. To start creating your own vision board, you can use a piece of paper, a poster, or a test tube as a base.
- Understand that only you are responsible for your life. Do not blame your failures on others, bosses, country or fate. Whether your life goes up or down is up to you. All changes are available to you.
- Figure out what your core values are. What is the most important thing in life? What is missing, what is wrong? Understand. You must know this for sure.
Pebbles to Boulders: obstacles shouldn't be a problem
There will always be seven million and one reason why you can't, won't, or won't do something. Don't let your life be turned into these negative words. You may feel scared, angry, or tired. You may also feel like you don't have enough time to get things done. Obstacles such as fear, poor self-esteem, low energy, discomfort, procrastination, perfectionism, lack of support, timing, lack of motivation or uncertainty all play a role in your struggle to really make a change.
- There is something basic, a basic need or problem that determines everything. Change is not easy, so your cause is your source of energy, a clear understanding of the root cause will give you strength. What is the most important thing you are missing? What is the main thing you want to change?
- Replace limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are the biggest obstacle to changing your life. You must identify them, and for this, track your thoughts containing the phrases: what can you do, I'm such a person ... unlucky ... such a fate ... there's nothing you can do about it, and so on. All these are simple excuses, meaning a simple "I don't want to."
- Replace bad habits with positive ones. It is advisable to identify your bad habits, to figure out which ones are pulling you down. What habits would you like to break? Clearly understand this problem, it is one of the most basic. Ideally, it would be better to start new positive habits that will replace bad ones. Change your minus to a plus, that's the most wonderful thing you can do.
- Choose an example to follow. A lot of people started from scratch, without special knowledge and prospects. Now the whole world is talking about them, everyone knows them, they are a model.
- Set yourself up for long-term change. Changing lives takes time, especially if you want to radically change your life. Understanding that all this takes a long time, does not happen immediately and goes through periods of ups and downs, will give you resilience in difficult times. The hardest part is getting yourself to start moving. After that, you will move quite easily, gradually improving and changing your life.
- Try to think a lot. Identify issues that you want to think about and resolve in the near future. State as clearly as possible the desired results (what you want). Realize what is most important for you in this particular period of life? What can be bothering you now (in general) or what annoys you? What exactly do you want or what brings you the most joy? Which results are most important to you?
Working on yourself is interesting. After all, self-improvement is not only a means of improving life, but in a sense, the goal. A person who works on himself always works for himself, not for his “uncle”. He knows: every minute of work on himself is a clear coin in the piggy bank of his wealth. He is like a champion athlete who was lucky enough to compete at the highest rank competitions until the end of his life. He needs to always be in shape, and he likes to be in shape. And this passion for victory, this anticipation and joy of victories fill his whole life with strength. In fact, such a person does not know old age, his soul is vigorous, slender and muscular.
So, it doesn't take much to change your life. Contrary to popular belief, there is no need to make radical changes to improve the quality of life. At the same time, you don't have to wait long time to get results. All you need to change your life is to take a few small steps, and do them constantly. General principle such: to understand what torments you; find out if you made any mistakes that could lead to this condition; repent of mistakes and try not to repeat them; develop in a direction that removes you from problems and mistakes.
Most of us decide to make changes in our lives when things get worse: the fear of the obvious becomes more terrible than the fear of the unknown. But after all, all life is built on progress, which is possible only thanks to our actions. Action brings change. Do not tell yourself: "why change everything - and so it will do." Do not waste your time and energy - wait until life comes to a crisis or stops at an impasse. It's time to take control of your life. In order to decide on changes in your life and start not just dreaming, but acting, a person needs not so much - just a desire. Well, for inspiration, in today's selection - quotes that can become an incentive for great changes both inside and around you. We wish you good luck and positive trends in life!
So, 15 inspiring quotes that can change lives:
- Failure is just an opportunity to start again, but more wisely. Henry Ford
- If the problem can be solved, don't worry about it. If the problem is unsolvable, there is no point in worrying about it. Dalai Lama
- Even if you are very talented and put in a lot of effort, some results just take time. A woman will not give birth to a child in a month, no matter how hard she tries. Warren Buffett
- Once in a lifetime, fortune knocks on the door of every person, but at this time a person often sits in the nearest pub and does not hear any knock. Mark Twain
- Our big disadvantage is that we give up too quickly. The surest way to success is to keep trying one more time. Thomas Edison
- Waking up in the morning, ask yourself: “What should I do?” In the evening, before falling asleep: "What have I done?" Pythagoras
- The poor, unfortunate, unhappy and unhealthy is the one who often uses the word "tomorrow". Robert Kiyosaki
- Old people always advise young people to save money. This is bad advice. Don't hoard nickels. Invest in yourself. I never saved a dollar in my life until I was forty. Henry Ford
- I want it. So it will be. Henry Ford
- I have not been defeated. I just found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison
- Hard work is the accumulation of easy things that you didn't do when you should have done it. John Maxwell
- I used to say: "I hope that everything will change." Then I realized that there is the only way to change everything - to change myself. Jim Rohn
- The lesson that I learned and which I follow all my life was that one must try, and try, and try again - but never give up! Richard Branson
- Do today what others do not want, and tomorrow you will live in a way that others cannot.
Don't be afraid to change your routine! Stagnation should be scary. Take a risk at least once! Who does not take risks does not drink champagne, and most importantly, does not succeed!
Levitsky Alexey, psychologist
No matter how old you are, it's never too late to change your life for the better. Read this article to learn how to make changes, both external and internal, to feel more content, happy, and peaceful.
Steps
Change of circumstances Change of attitude
Adviсe
- Try to balance your life between work and play. If you are only busy with work, then you miss out on the joys of life. If all you do is have fun, then you will eventually get bored with it and no longer appreciate the fun times.
- If you are married or in long term relationship where the magic fades, talk to your partner and decide together what changes you can make to spice up your sex life.
- Think about finding positive sample a role model to look up to. This person could be a teacher, a family member, or your favorite writer, actor, or musician. Positive influence in your life can help you find the motivation to overcome obstacles and achieve your dreams.
- Go to bed early and get up early. Do something creative in the early hours. Make origami for your friend's child, write short story or go for a run.
- If you want to change your appearance, but do not know how, go to the stylist. Ask your hairdresser for advice on what hairstyle might suit you best.
- This article is written with the assumption that a person generally has enough food for breakfast or a job to go to.