Can Catholics be godparents of the Orthodox. Godparents: who can, who cannot be godparents, the duties of godparents

I was going to baptize the child, and one of the godparents was supposed to be my friend. He is a Roman Catholic. And we didn't "bother" about it, we thought that Christians seemed to be all the same and the sacraments were the same. Already in the church before Baptism, the priest, having learned that the candidate for godparents was a Catholic, "rejected" his candidacy, and as the only option suggested that he "be baptized" into Orthodoxy. This greatly upset us, and we postponed Baptism. The money paid for Baptism according to the tariff was not returned to us (I did not particularly insist on it). After thinking about this situation, I decided that since a Christian, both in religion and in life, was "rejected" by the Church as a godfather, then I would baptize the child in another Churches in the Catholic. And in the future I myself will undergo catechesis and convert to Catholicism (without crossing!). And now I would like to know how correctly and according to the teachings the priest acted in my case, refusing to be godfather to a catholic? I'm not talking about the moral Christian norms, but at least according to the teachings and canons of the Russian Orthodox Church?

entrepreneur

Dear Yuri, recognizing the act of the priest (in the form that you described) is not fully consistent with the official position of our Church, which allows, firstly, the presence of one non-Orthodox successor, while the other will be Orthodox, and, secondly, does not imply the acceptance of Catholics into Orthodoxy through Baptism (acceptance is allowed either by the third rite, through repentance, or by the second, through chrismation), I cannot help but ask another question: what, in fact, is your Orthodoxy? If, because of an episode, even if emotionally brightly negative, but in no way connected either with the essence of our faith, or with the nature of the doctrinal differences between Orthodoxy and Catholicism, you decide without hesitation to change your confession, what is Orthodoxy for you? If the priest had been polite and delicate, you would have stayed in Orthodox Church? With such a measure of irresponsibility, of course, our faith will hold out until the first rude priest or an impolite candlestick ... You can find anything among Catholics after catechism. Will you go further to the Baptists? To the Moonies, to the Jehovists? Our religious outlook, we must base our self-determination on something more fundamental than the infirmities or virtues of certain clergymen.

Good afternoon, father Alexander!
I got very a difficult situation, this has been tormenting me for some time now, I will not be able to write briefly, so I apologize in advance for your time.
I was baptized in Orthodoxy as a child, since then I have not been in the Orthodox Church - it happened that way. Neither my godparents nor my family instilled Love for God in me, for they themselves were far from it. Moreover, in youth adolescence I did a lot of bad things and considered myself an atheist. When I studied at the university, I met a guy from a large religious family. Slowly, he began to tell me about God, about religion, about the Church, and then, somehow sensing my interest and desire for this, he took me to catholic temple Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary (in Moscow, I am from there), and there I came to God and to faith myself, I went there for a very long time, although we parted with the guy a long time ago. Years passed, and God brought me together with my husband - he is a Latvian, and I moved to live with him in Latvia, although my relatives, as you understand, were very upset by my decision, and this is one of the reasons for our misunderstandings - they always think that I am here temporarily, although I have been living here for six years. We formalized the marriage, but he is not baptized (although better than many of those who beat their chests that he is a believer), he is even afraid to go into the temple, so as not to defile the feelings of the parishioners and servants of God. So far I have not been able to persuade him to get married, which means that I cannot convert to Catholicism, which is close to me in spirit and whose church I go to, but I really want to do this and cannot consider myself Orthodox - that would be dishonest, but I consider myself a Christian and want the reunification of the Churches.
Recently, my sister asked me to be her daughter's godmother, and I gladly agreed! I asked her to find out all the details in my homeland, since I can only come to Russia for a short time for the baptism itself, and if I need to go through the teachings, like the Catholics, then I would go through it here, at home. She said that she did not want to bother me, and found a temple where no teaching is required (I will not bore you with my thoughts on this), I replied that I would go to the temple anyway and ask the priest all the questions that interest me, so as for me this is a responsible step. Before going to the priest, I decided to read in more detail how this ceremony is held by the Orthodox, and the first thing I discovered was that the godmother must be Orthodox. Father Alexander, but it’s completely different for Catholics, Protestants - even an Orthodox can baptize a Lutheran, so it is in my husband’s family, and it’s everywhere here - Latvia is multi-confessional, I couldn’t imagine this at all. I shared my doubts with my sister, who accused me of ruining the name day (told me that I was changing God), since the money had already been paid, the photographer had been ordered, the cross had been bought, etc. I was very offended, because I do not feel guilty for the fact that I myself decided to take a more responsible approach to this and made it all worse. We quarreled very strongly and now I don’t know what to do next, how to communicate with people close to you who hurt you (this is not the first time). Tell me the direction where to "look", father Alexander.
Have a nice day!
Sincerely, Ekaterina.

Catherine
Kekava
Latvia
Other

Irina, Moscow

Where to baptize a child if the mother is Catholic and the father is Orthodox?

Good evening. My husband and I have controversial issue: where to baptize the son. Help, please, to understand. I was born in Zhytomyr and lived there until the age of 29, and a little more than a year ago she married a Russian and moved to live in Moscow. 2 months ago we had a son, and we set out to baptize him, but we have big disagreements. Briefly about us: my husband and I are Christians, but we profess different faiths, and before marriage, we did not raise the issue of the future baptism of children and the wedding (we intend to get married). I am a Catholic and I was raised to love God. My grandmother and mother were engaged in our religious upbringing (I have 2 more sisters), I believe in God, I went to church (now I do this less often, because there are only 3 churches in all of Moscow and there is not always time to get there and visit Mass), went to procession to Berdichev and others. I also venerate Orthodox saints. My husband is Orthodox and so is his whole family. He believes in God, wears a cross, but goes to church very rarely (on big holidays and only light a candle). And in their family no one is accustomed to church, people don’t go there and, in my opinion, they don’t consider it necessary. So I tell my husband that I want my son to accept catholic faith, since I will be engaged in education, including religious education, but he will not do anything, he says: “The son was born on Orthodox soil, which means he will be Orthodox.” I tell him that if he and his mother take their son to church (because I don’t know what the rules are, I don’t even know their prayers), then I don’t mind baptizing him there, but they won’t do it! And to start a "double life" - to baptize in one place, and lead to God in another - this is wrong. On this basis, we quarrel, and here also his mother categorically stated that she is against baptism in Catholicism. Please advise how to do the right thing so that the son is fine, and we all do not quarrel.

Everything in your situation is very difficult. I understand that I may not be understood, but you turned to the priest of the Russian Orthodox Old Believer Church I will try my best to explain the situation from my point of view.

« Orthodoxy" is not a geographical term, it is a matter of religion, i.e. not in the name, but in a conscious approach to faith! The dogmas of Christianity and church laws cannot be something external to a person. A Christian either lives Christian life, i.e. tries to keep his soul pure, in readiness to stand before God, or he is no longer a Christian at all. 80th rule of the 6th Ecumenical Council reads:

“If anyone, a bishop, or a presbyter, or a deacon, or any of those who are numbered among the clergy, or a layman, without any urgent need or obstacle, by which he would be removed from his church for a long time, but, being in the city, in three Sundays in the course of three weeks does not come to the church meeting, then let the clergy be expelled from the clergy, and let the layman be excommunicated.

In Moscow, the subway and other transport are absolutely wonderful. Living in this city, you can cite anything as an excuse for not visiting. church services, but, you see, most likely, the reason is the negligence of your and your husband's family. They, calling themselves Orthodox”, have fewer excuses, because home prayer and visits to temples, if desired, will not be difficult. And for them and for you, if you wish, there will be an opportunity.

Briefly:

The godfather, or godfather, must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because the main duty of the godfather is to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith.

The godfather must be a church person, ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and monitor his Christian upbringing.

After baptism is performed, the godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed a lot for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.

pregnant and unmarried women MAY be godparents for both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!

The father and mother of the child cannot be godparents, and the husband and wife cannot be godparents for the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized as infants and no longer remember what happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godmother, or maybe even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents for someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Replies Prot. Maxim Kozlov to questions about the duties of godparents from the site “Tatiana's Day“.

- I was invited to become a godfather. What will I have to do?

Being a godfather is both an honor and a responsibility.

The godmother and father, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godfather, of course, should become a person who also has some experience church life and help parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the performance of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help those received from the font grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity to the fact of Baptism alone. According to the teachings of the Church, for how we have taken care of the fulfillment of these duties, we will be asked the same on the day of the last judgment, as well as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very big.

- And what to give to the godson?

Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, no matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form adopted in the Orthodox Church.

In the old days there was a traditional church gift for christening - this is a silver spoon, which was called a "gift for a tooth", it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he started to eat from a spoon.

How can I choose godparents for my child?

First, the godparents must be baptized, churched Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not only in practical circumstances. And, of course, the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship should be an important criterion. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child's church educators or not.

Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to perform the ceremony without him, but write him down as a godparent?

Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godfathers, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand ducal mercy, agreed to be considered godparents of one or another baby. If a we are talking about a similar situation, do so, and if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

- Who can't be a godfather?

Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on, cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends of the child's parents and no matter how pleasant people they are in communication.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are sure of the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian confession: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become sponsors.

- And which of the relatives can be a godfather?

An aunt or an uncle, a grandmother or a grandfather can become the godparents of their little relatives. It should only be remembered that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it is worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child, help us raise him. Are we cheating in this case little man love and care, because he could have one or two adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important at a time when the child is looking for authority outside the family. The godfather at this time, in no way opposing himself to his parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his relatives.

- Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or cross a child with a purpose normal upbringing in faith?

In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his relatives, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, godlessness, a blatantly impious way of life - in fact, they say that that a person has failed in his duty as a godmother. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered terminated by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another churched pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to bear care godfather or godmother about this or that child.

I was invited to be godmother a girl, but everyone tells me that the first one must be baptized the boy. Is it so?

The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by in any way.

- They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who takes a girl from the font will either not marry herself, or it will impose some kind of fate on her fate. - an imprint.

On the other hand, in this opinion one can also see a certain kind of sobriety, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if godmothers to the baby people (or at least one of the godparents) will be selected who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the physical parents of the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

- Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

Church charters do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for own child with love for the adopted baby, will you have time for caring for him, for advice to the parents of the baby, in order to sometimes pray warmly for him, bring him to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, and in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting off once.