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Good manners: etiquette and manners - Culture. Important Rules of Etiquette

An educated person lives in harmony with himself and those around him. It is impossible to become well-mannered all at once, or only in some cases, good manners are not a suit or a dress that is kept in the closet until the big occasion. You either have education or you don't.

What is good manners?

A person is judged not by clothes, but by manners, by how he behaves in society, how he treats others, how he talks and gesticulates. Generally speaking, good manners are the presence or, conversely, the lack of respect for people. old saying“Treat people the way you want to be treated” will probably never get old. You can not read treatises on the ability to behave in society, but simply act in accordance with this proverb, and you will pass for a very pleasant and well-mannered person with refined manners.

Why are good manners important?

Having good manners is also very helpful. We have to communicate with many people every day - at work, in transport, with friends, and its result depends on how friendly this communication will be. Without observing at least elementary rules of decency, it is difficult to adapt to a new society. It can be seen that successful and self-confident people are almost always well-mannered. About people who have achieved their goals, earned recognition, and, at the same time, are calm and restrained, they often say: "He has aristocratic manners, it is pleasant to communicate with him."

Good manners in today's society

You can often hear - in modern society not up to manners. However, a person who speaks loudly, is dressed dirty or yawns at all times, except for rejection, does not cause anything. Another thing is that some manners have changed, but not lost. Modern manners are based on respect for the other person, but convenience and practicality come to the fore. For instance

Let the woman go forward, open the door in front of her. Now the door is opened by the one who is more comfortable, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. If a man with a child is in front of the girl, naturally, she will open the door for him.
Men must give way to women. Just as in the first case, the one who is easier stands, and the woman may well give way to a disabled man.

Rules for good manners

What should be done and how to behave in order not to be considered ignorant? The basic rules of etiquette and good manners are simple: be reserved, benevolent, in control, and behave naturally.

There is no need to hide from everyone that you are seeing or trying something for the first time. It would be better if you were taught how to do it than to be publicly embarrassed.
It is very important to look good, and this is not about clothes. It is unacceptable to sit with your legs wide apart, or putting the ankle of one foot on the knee of the other, shouting loudly and gesticulating widely.
Do not chew gum while talking and do not look at your watch or cell phone.
Do not come to visit without warning, if you find people in pajamas in an uncleaned room, you will feel inconvenience.
Be sure to knock on the room before entering, and it doesn't matter if it's the boss's office or the child's nursery.
Naturally, one cannot read other people's letters, but in modern conditions SMS, emails.
No need to talk to mouthful and, moreover, wipe your mouth with your hands - use a napkin.
Good manners for a girl is never to put her bag on her lap or on the table. A small clutch is allowed, but a fashionable tote bag is only on the floor or can be hung on the back of a chair.

How to deal with manners?

The main sign of bad manners is to point out to other people their bad manners. It is better to take a closer look at yourself, you can probably find a couple of bad manners.

If you are irritable, flare up over trifles and can be rude in the heat of the moment, try to control yourself. Practice breathing deeper at home, counting during an attack of irritation, use what works best, and gradually it will become a habit.
Bad manners can be caused by ignorance, especially if you are in another country. Ask, or better yet, find out in advance how to behave, what are the customs in this area.
If you are inattentive to people, or simply do not notice the need for help - ask, thereby you will pass for an attentive person and gradually get used to taking care of others.
Write down all your bad habits, manners, ask someone you trust what annoys you, analyze what situations provoke them. At first, you can ask loved one gently draw your attention to the manifestation of bad manners, later you will see them for yourself and can control them.

How to learn good manners?

Can good manners be learned? How can a woman learn good manners so that a situation does not arise: she seemed beautiful and spiritual until she spoke? The rules of behavior are brought up in childhood, but this does not mean that an adult cannot master them.

First of all, learn to be calm. A calm reaction to stimuli contributes to the development of self-control, and self-control will not allow you to flare up and commit an act that you may later regret.
Cultivate a positive perception of the world around you. A well-mannered person is not one who refrains from answering if he is pushed, but one who is not offended by a push at all.
Try not to provoke situations in which a feeling of embarrassment may arise, and if such a situation arose through no fault of your own, make a distraction.
Remember what annoys you in other people and try not to repeat it.
Be polite in all situations, politeness is the basis of good manners, do not allow rude expressions, disregard for people.
Carefully observe those who seem to you a well-mannered person and try to repeat their actions in different situations.
Watch your speech - do not allow jargon or technical terms, not to mention outright vulgarism. Secret correct speech easy - read on! Especially Russian classical literature, the more you read, the faster your speech will improve, and enough has been written about good manners in books.

Films about good manners

There are films on which you can learn the correct manners of behavior:

"How to Become a Princess" Is it possible to change manners and remain yourself.
"Pride and Prejudice"- how to successfully marry without a dowry, but with impeccable manners.
"Kate and Leo"- sophistication and slowness of the 19th century and crazy New York of the 20th.
"Miss Congeniality" Are a policewoman and a good upbringing incompatible?
"The Devil Wears Prada"- what lies behind the good manners of a successful lady?
"My Fair Lady"- how to turn into a society lady from an ugly duckling.

Interpersonal communication in society requires each person to comply with certain norms and rules of conduct. The rules and norms of human behavior in society are known under the concept of etiquette. The main purpose of etiquette is to protect the honor and dignity of a person when communicating in society. Historically, the norms and rules of etiquette have developed a long time ago. In each state, they were enshrined in special laws, the observance of which was strictly monitored.

Etiquette in society implies the unity of a high internal morality of a person with outwardly worthy manners. Only such a harmony of the inner and outer "I" allows you to make a person's behavior sincere and natural.

Modern etiquette is universal and contains global rules and norms, although each nation makes its own additions to it based on national and cultural traditions.

Etiquette contains norms of behavior that regulate human actions in various public places. Based on this, there are different kinds etiquette, corresponding to the places where the person is.

Business etiquette - regulates the rules and norms of behavior in the workplace.

Diplomatic etiquette - the rules of conduct for employees of the diplomatic corps in dealing with representatives of the country in which it is located. It regulates the order of visits, diplomatic receptions and meetings.

Military etiquette is the rules of conduct for military personnel that define a strict hierarchy and unquestioning adherence to the orders of senior officers.

General civil etiquette - rules and regulations governing everyday communication of people. Respect for elders, men for women, between passengers in transport.

The rules of etiquette are not absolute and should be followed according to the situation. What is unacceptable in one case may be the norm in other circumstances.

Etiquette norms are, as a rule, unwritten rules, unlike morality, but their knowledge is an important part of the formation internal culture person. A cultured person not only accepts these rules, but strictly follows them not only in public places, but also at home. The basis for the formation of internal etiquette is goodwill, responsibility and dignity. In addition, etiquette is impossible without tact and a sense of proportion, which should be inherent in every educated person. Disposition to people and at the same time a sense of proportion will help to adequately represent yourself in any situation.

Thus, etiquette in society requires a person to constantly cultivate an internal culture based on respect for the entire society.

T.V. Mishatkina

Ethics and etiquette

Etiquette is reason for those who do not have it Voltaire

Good manners are more important than virtue O. Wilde

The culture of communication, which determines how we feel in society, how people treat us: they love us or neglect us, is based on the observance of certain rules called etiquette. These rules have been developed by mankind for thousands of years - since the late Middle Ages. They regulate what is permissible and acceptable in a given society or in a given situation, and what is not. Of course, etiquette determines only the forms, the "technique" of communication, therefore, knowledge of the rules of etiquette in itself is not enough to be considered a cultured, educated person. Behavior in society should be based on the general principles and norms of morality, demonstrating the connection between ethics And etiquette. Every issue related to etiquette must be dealt with in the light of ethical standards. Our manners are a reflection of our ethical ideas. Politeness and attention to people, sympathy and the ability to understand another person - these high ethical qualities that underlie moral behavior are reflected in simple norms of etiquette.

What is etiquette?

There are many definitions of etiquette. One of the most common reads: etiquetteis a set of rules of conduct adopted in society.

Sometimes etiquette is defined as:

regulations behavior(behavior - from the "veda" - knowledge);

regulations courtesy(politeness - also from "know", know);

regulations propriety(decency - from the "face", "image", the person's face);

culture actions and manners (“cultural” - in contrast to “natural”, “wild”, means “man-made, organized, ordered”).

Etiquette applies to all areas of life: specific rules prescribe how to maintain hygiene, talk, dress, behave at the table, in a team, in a family, public places, in a theater, on the street, etc. Without respect for the norms of etiquette, interpersonal, cultural, business and even political relations are impossible, because it is impossible to exist without respecting each other, without imposing certain restrictions on one's behavior.

The etiquette contains general human norms of communication, preserved for thousands of years and characteristic of many peoples. Therefore, they are observed (or should be observed) by representatives not only of a particular society, but by all people. For example, simple rules of politeness, greetings, expression of gratitude are inherent in all people without exception.

Of course, various peoples made their own corrections and additions to etiquette, related to the peculiarities of their own culture. Therefore, etiquette also reflects specific national peculiarities communication: traditions, customs, rituals, rituals corresponding to the historical conditions of life different peoples. So, the celebration of holidays - New Year or Christmas, wedding ceremonies and birthdays are celebrated by different peoples in different ways, meeting their moral and aesthetic needs.

In addition, as the living conditions of people change, the growth of education and culture in society, some rules of behavior are replaced by others. What used to be considered indecent becomes generally accepted, and vice versa.

Thus, the requirements of etiquette are historical character, they are not absolute, they relative observance of them depends on the place, time and circumstances. Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under one circumstance may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances. The rules of etiquette are conditional, they seem to be in the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. This convention is explained by the fact that the task of etiquette is to offer people such forms - stereotypes of behavior that can facilitate communication and understanding between them. Therefore, etiquette can be considered as a special form of manifestation of moral culture, because good manners are external reflection internal human culture, his moral qualities.

True, there are exceptions. So, high inner spirituality, kindness and decency of a poorly educated simple person may not be manifested in his manners - due to ignorance of the rules of etiquette. And vice versa: the refined manners of a courteous dude and womanizer are not yet evidence of his moral culture.

In addition, all types of their communication: speech addressed to elders, peers, younger at a meeting and parting; manner of moving, eating, wearing clothes and jewelry, celebrating sad and joyful events, receiving guests - a person tries to give not only moral, but also aesthetic character. It is no coincidence that we say: "beautiful manners, beautiful behavior, beautiful gestures, postures, facial expressions." Therefore, it can be said that the aesthetic form of manifestation of the moral culture of a person accepted in society is calledetiquette.

So, etiquette is a large and important part of human culture, morality and morality, developed over many centuries by the combined efforts of people in accordance with their ideas about goodness, justice, humanity, beauty and order in their own lives.

Every cultured person should not only know and observe the basic norms of etiquette, but also understand their necessity. The ability to behave in society is very important: it facilitates the establishment of contacts, contributes to the achievement of mutual understanding, creates good, stable relationships. Consider the specific rules of human behavior in different situations.

In modern society in Lately often began to talk about the rules of etiquette. What is this concept? Where did it originate? What are its features and types? It is about etiquette and its significance in society that will be discussed in the article.

The origin of the concept and its meaning

The established norms of moral behavior in society are the result of a long process of forming relationships between people. IN modern world economic, cultural, political relations are impossible without observance of generally accepted norms and rules of behavior, because it is impossible to exist in society without respecting each other.

The main types of etiquette are: court, diplomatic, military, general. Most of the rules are the same, but the diplomatic one is attached great value, since a deviation from its norms can harm the country's prestige and complicate its relations with other states.

Rules of conduct are established in many areas of human life, and depending on them, etiquette is divided into:

business;
speech;
canteen;
universal;
religious;
professional;
wedding;
festive and so on.

General rules of etiquette in specific situations

Greeting is the very first and main rule of behavior of a cultured person, since ancient times it has been a criterion of a person's upbringing. For more than 40 years, the world has been celebrating Hello Day every year.

The second main rule of etiquette is the possession of a culture of communication. Her skills and ability to conduct a conversation allow you to achieve what you want and conduct a competent and polite dialogue with people.

Currently telephone conversations- the most common form of communication among the population, therefore great importance telephone etiquette, or the ability to conduct this kind of conversation, plays in society. It is customary in a telephone conversation to clearly express one's thoughts, to be able to stop in time to give the interlocutor an opportunity to speak. Some companies are doing special education employees' ability to conduct telephone conversations.

Good manners are the main component of cultural communication, some of them are taught to us from childhood, and we master the rest in everyday adult life.

The essence of etiquette and its significance in society

From a practical point of view, the meaning of etiquette lies in the fact that it allows people to use forms of politeness to communicate with other people.

Of great importance in communication is the appearance of a person, the ability to behave correctly in public places, at a party, at holidays.

Of considerable importance are the manner of speaking, the ability to tactfully conduct a conversation. To be a good interlocutor, you need to know what you are talking about, to be able to express your thoughts in such a way that they are interesting to the interlocutor.

You need to be able to manage your negative emotions and negative mood. According to the rules of etiquette, the most The best way defeating negativity is a human smile.

Society appreciates the ability to listen to the interlocutor, attention and attentiveness, the ability to come to the rescue in time and provide a service to someone who needs it.

By the behavior of a person, his skill and style of communication with other people, you can easily determine the level of his upbringing.

So what is etiquette? This is a set of rules and manners of behavior generally accepted in society, as well as a culture of actions. The established rules of communication and behavior of people reflect their way of life, living conditions, customs, therefore etiquette is also the national culture of the state.

The rules of etiquette in society are the ability to behave in all situations in which a person can find himself. In the modern world, it is extremely important to know them, to have good manners in order to be pleased with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, affability, benevolence, naturally. So that any, even the best elite society, willingly accepts you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society is a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are several main types of such rules.

The ability to present oneself - the rules for the formation of a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, postures, gestures.
Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, thanks, give remarks; farewell rules, politeness,
Table etiquette - manners at the table, serving standards, the ability to eat.
Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, shop, office, etc.
Business etiquette - relationships with colleagues, superiors, good business manners, leadership skills, etc.

Ability to present yourself

Good manners, the rules of etiquette, the ability to be a kind person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. Modern man should know how to behave in any circumstances, be able to behave accordingly, be amiable, friendly and self-confident.

Etiquette in clothes

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, the mind is manifested in the choice of clothing for the occasion. To make a good impression, it is not enough to be fashionable or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must reckon with them and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to observe the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and fit you, but it is much more important that all the details appearance organically combined with each other, and he himself corresponded to the time, place and situation. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes to work. Each time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, do not forget about your own age, body features. Everything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The exit attire should always be in full readiness. When shaping your wardrobe, remember to include must-have items such as suits, tailored trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home kits.

Personal care

Good manners imply the obligatory observance of cleanliness of clothes, proper nutrition And healthy lifestyle life. It is unacceptable to appear in society unkempt. At the same time, it is important to monitor the appearance in the complex, carefully removing the hair, going out into the "light". These are mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good manners in society

The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, manners of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms do not move widely in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the stomach is tucked up. You can not lift your head high, but you should not walk with your head down. Equally important are postures and gestures. To make a good impression, you need to act simply and naturally. in a bad tone it is considered a manner of twirling something in your hands, twisting your hair around your finger, drumming your fingers on the table, stomping to the beat of music, touching any parts of the body with your hands, pulling another by the clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules here: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information is encrypted, both semantic and emotional. It is necessary to know them by heart, to be able to choose the most appropriate for the occasion and pronounce them in the appropriate tone in time. Masterly, correct possession of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not be very delicate when you say “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it’s completely unacceptable to say hello to the boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men must accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting with a lady, a gallant gentleman kisses her hand, while he should not pull her towards him, but should bend as far as the woman gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the second is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing anyone, state the first and last name. And addressing by patronymic, for example, Ivanovna, is permissible only in the village, but not in secular society.

3. Requests

The word "please" is really magical, it must be heard in all requests. Since the request in one way or another burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: “If it’s not difficult for you”, “Is it not difficult for you?” It is also appropriate to say: "Do me a favor, be kind, could you," etc.

4. Farewell

Before you say goodbye, you should prepare the interlocutor for parting: "It's already late", "Unfortunately, I have to go." It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, such as "I'm glad we met." The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without delay.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural, sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but it is here that one must especially observe the measure.

No need to try to deliberately embellish the process of eating, for example, eat in very small pieces, set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, not to talk with your mouth full, to chew food thoroughly before putting another portion in your mouth.
Never drink until you have swallowed the food, unless you have taken hot food in your mouth unexpectedly. If you see that the food is hot, do not blow on it before you start eating.
Try to eat and drink absolutely silently.
In society, bread is eaten not by biting off the whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it.
Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, is supposed to be taken with the end of a clean knife, after pouring it on the edge of your plate.
Ketchup or mustard as a condiment is offered only in the most casual atmosphere.
When eating, try not to stain your plate as much as possible, do not stir or smear food on it.
Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, then you can take a fork right hand.
If you want to drink or take a break from eating, then you need to leave the fork and knife in a crosswise or "house" position.
The spoon is always taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, the spoon is left there after eating, not laid out on the table.
At the end of the meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

In public places, there are some specific rules of good taste, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, a vernissage

The rules of conduct in these "temples" of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk through the halls quietly, speak in a hushed tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not get too close to the paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theater, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Earlier in such public places a man was supposed to invite ladies, today it is considered quite decent if a girl herself invites him to a performance, a concert. And even if it is she who pays for tickets for two. A well-bred man should play the role of a gallant gentleman, courting a lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, undress calmly, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society urge you to behave in these places as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. You can not talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Questions and inquiries should be answered politely and in a low voice.

In any establishment, it is important to maintain good manners, to be accommodating, tactful and polite. Most importantly, your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

Business Etiquette

Good manners at work - required condition for every worker. What points are affected Business Etiquette? Easy rules will help to understand this issue.

Compliance with subordination with colleagues and superiors.
Timely arrival at work and prompt performance of their duties.
Polite communication with both colleagues and visitors.
Privacy at work.
Appropriate clothing for the institution you work for.
Lack of personal topics in discussions.
Maintain order in your workplace.
by phone.

Rules in society help to achieve the goals assigned in business. With good manners, one can advance career ladder and in everything to be a successful self-actualized person.

To be a pleasant person in any situation, to want to do business with you, you need to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help not only achieve any goals, but also become a self-confident and happy person.