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Methods of psychological pressure. Psychological pressure and how to resist it

In life, we often encounter the use of "forbidden tricks" regarding our personality. They do not allow us to fully assess the situation and confuse us. As a result of their actions, we allow other people to sit on our necks, enter into unprofitable contracts and make inadequate promises. All this is a consequence of the psychological pressure exerted on us.

Often, none of the participants in the communication process is aware of what is happening. People who use "forbidden tricks" do it unconsciously, and even more so, the "victim" does not track it. If this situation is painfully familiar to you, then you are probably already tired of it.

Guilt

How manipulators love to use it! The resulting guilt is a great excuse to get what is needed from you. We feel guilty for many things: the way we communicate, the lack of attention to other people, our lifestyle, our desires, etc. Usually, if you often experience such a state, this may indicate a special personality pattern.

The same event can be perceived by partners in completely different ways. This is often used by manipulators.

To resist the psychological pressure of using guilt, one thing needs to be clear: you have the right to be yourself, to have your own desires and boundaries. That is, you practically owe nothing to anyone. Separate the wheat from the chaff: outline for yourself the circle of those obligations that you voluntarily assume (care for a child or parents, time for friends, a little help from colleagues) and their limits. Then it will be easier to focus on them when someone else is trying to get the behavior they want from you.

You can, of course, play along a little with the manipulator, but only so that he calms down and does not increase the pressure. Tell the other person "no". This is the most effective way to disown what is being imposed on you. Avoid explanations altogether - they give the manipulator a hook to hang on to. Do not forget to keep track of when your feelings of guilt turn on - most likely, they will be associated with your personal weaknesses.

moral suppression

A method that is often used by aggressive personality-disabled people. They cannot solve their problems in an adult way, they begin to actively humiliate those with whom they communicate. This manifests itself in the reduction social status, blows to pride, switching attention from important details on subjective, using rhetorical questions.

In practice, this strategy may look different. For example, a mother yelling at her child: “Do you even know what you are doing! How can you be such an idiot!” Or important negotiations, during which the opponent makes a remark about the stain on your clothes. A man who makes fun of the fullness of his partner. The mechanism of work is quite simple: our attention is focused on our own inferiority, we stop adequately monitoring the situation, we feel a desire to somehow “cajole” the interlocutor.

First you need to think about why a person says such things to you at all. You can ask him directly: “For what purpose did you voice this?” It is likely that he will not find what to answer you, or he will start talking all sorts of nonsense. When it becomes obvious to you that this is a type of psychological pressure, pull yourself together and say: “He is doing this on purpose in order to get something from me. Therefore, the point is not in my inferiority, but in the inability of a partner to discuss their needs honestly and in an adult way. I will not be upset because of his words, but I will concentrate my attention on the thing that is important for me at this moment.

Psychological pressure

We rarely encounter this method in everyday life. Collection agencies, unscrupulous lawyers, bandits resort to it. Massive psychological pressure is carried out when they begin to influence you using various “strings”: they call your friends, relatives and acquaintances, find out what you are doing, disrupt negotiations or some plans.

The people around you are worried, they constantly tell you about these threats. Reassure them by explaining the situation. You need to try to do everything in your power to stop these actions: contact creditors or make a fateful decision for someone. In any case, it is worth conveying to bad people the fact that their actions only make you angry, provoke you to action, reverse topics what they were waiting for.

Reducing the distance can also be an element of psychological pressure. Each of us has our own personal space, which we try to protect from strangers. If the goal of a person is to confuse and make you think chaotically, then better way you can't imagine. The solution is very simple - to mark your boundaries, move away from the person to a safe distance, letting him know that reducing the distance is fraught with ending the dialogue.

Distortion of information

Much easier to accept a wise decision with all possible information. If someone is more interested in one outcome than the other, they will distort the information. This may be expressed in hiding some facts, focusing your attention on others. Similarly, focusing on particular details rather than the general main problem. Then it is very likely that such a reorientation will lead you to a strictly defined solution, which is what the interlocutor intended.

Some tend to use all sorts of rumors, gossip and speculation as decisive arguments. For example, your friend says to you: “Why would you breastfeed your baby after six months? There is nothing useful left in milk anyway! And she herself, immediately after birth, transferred the child to artificial feeding and if you do the same, she won't feel guilty. In an attempt to put pressure on you, she uses a well-known myth about breastfeeding which can really influence your decision.

But there are situations in which there are no clear and obvious boundaries. Most often it concerns relationships between people. Human behavior is determined by many reasons, and in an attempt to understand them, we often turn to the advice of friends. For example, you had a fight with a guy, and he does not pick up the phone. These actions can be interpreted in different ways, but a friend says: “What are you doing! If he doesn't love you, leave him! It's pretty easy to succumb to this.

The way out in this situation is simple, but time-consuming - to be attentive and critical to the information provided to you. Try to double-check the facts that others present to you under the guise of common truths - among them are full of myths and misconceptions. AT difficult situations try to listen to the opinions of experts: doctors, lawyers, psychologists, etc. And most importantly - try to rely on yourself and your opinion, because this is the only way you can live on your own, and not on someone else's orders.

Influence on thinking, perception and memory

The psyche and its basis - nervous system- the ladies are very capricious. Their functioning is influenced by a lot of things - from parameters external environment up to your mood, which some unscrupulous manipulators sometimes try to take advantage of. For example, gypsies. They overload all channels of perception with various signals - they make noise, shake colored skirts, touch - and you fall into a trance. As a result, there is a risk of being left without money, gold jewelry and other valuables - well, if they are not allowed into the apartment! It is not easy to resist this, but there is a way out: run as fast as you can if you feel the use of this method in relation to yourself.

The moment when you are in a hurry somewhere or feel tired is by no means ideal for making meaningful decisions. If at this time someone is trying to slip you important papers to sign or require some promises from you, feel free to ask him for a delay and explain that you will consider this issue in more suitable conditions. The same applies to noise, bustle, stuffiness and other unpleasant environment.

Direct threats

As a rule, they are used when everything else does not help, but a person needs to achieve his goal. Usually situations of using this method are related to finances or power. Sometimes this can be evidence that the person is on his last legs and ready to do anything to negotiate with you. A kind of "cornered rat." To compromise with him or not is up to you.

In any case, it is worth trying to resolve the conflict as peacefully as possible, even if you have heard a direct threat addressed to you. Try to discuss what you hear with someone who is above the situation and able to think clearly. It is possible that, upon closer inspection, the threat is not worth a damn. And it is possible that you really can be put under pressure. In this case, it is up to you to decide whether to stand your ground completely, attracting all possible resources, or spit on it and make concessions. However, remember that those who at least once succumbed to threats are likely to continue to be threatened further.

Compulsion

It is resorted to only when there is some kind of force, otherwise no one will succumb. Examples of such power can be physical qualities, power, money, information. A person who is being coerced into something is aware of the process taking place - as opposed to being manipulated. You can try to protect yourself from him by hinting to the "pressure" that he is acting aggressively - some do not like to admit it. However, if this does not bother a person, then it is very difficult to resist this type of pressure.

Humiliation

Another type of psychological pressure, expressed in the desire of the aggressor to morally "crush the victim." In this situation, you can hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself: you are stupid, scary, clumsy, mediocre, disorganized, etc. Being in a state of psychological prostration, you lose control of the situation, and at this moment it is very convenient to put pressure on you: “ Can you at least do that?" The idea is that if you were sober, you would never agree, but this is where personal defense mechanisms and the desire to prove your own worth come into play. By the way, this technique works solely due to self-doubt.

Leaving aside

This kind of psychological pressure stands apart from all others, since its essence lies in trying to starve you out. Simply put, when they try to put pressure on you, and you want to clarify this, the person begins to slip into extraneous topics or even goes into a “deaf defense”: “Well, what are you, huh?”. Or asks why you keep talking nasty things about him. In this case, it is necessary to track the moment of leaving each time and return to the starting point: “No, we will deal with me later, now we are talking about you.” If you are persistent, then there is a chance that the aggressor will lag behind you with his pressure.

Suggestion

It's kind psychological impact on a person, after which he begins to uncritically "swallow" information imposed on him from the outside

The person using this method must be an authority for his victim, otherwise the trick will not work. An extreme version of suggestion is hypnosis, but it can also be used in the waking state. For this, as a rule, games with voice, intonation and other semi-conscious moments are used. Paradoxically, there are people who are not suggestible at all, and you are lucky if you are one of them.

Belief

Most rational view psychological pressure. It appeals to reason and human logic. Therefore, people with normal level intelligence and development of thinking - the rest simply will not understand what they are being told here. Speech, which includes beliefs, is usually as logical, consistent and conclusive as possible - as soon as the consciousness of the victim catches the slightest inconsistencies, the whole structure immediately collapses.

About manipulation

Its essence boils down to the desire to change the behavior, worldview or perception of another person with the help of a covert, violent or deceptive strategy.

The interests of the manipulator are realized at the expense of the victim, which is why manipulation is considered unethical. Psychologists' views on this vary greatly. Some believe that the end of an action sometimes justifies the means. For example, when a doctor convinces a patient to start taking medication. Or the mother, wanting the child to put on a hat, asks him: “Which hat are you going to wear - red or blue?” without giving him the opportunity to refuse. Others rightly believe that a person needs to be given all the information, but respect his freedom of choice and decision, even if it seems wrong to us.

Manipulations aimed (albeit indirectly) at realizing the interests of the “victim” are extremely rare. Usually it is still the desire to obtain personal gain at the expense of others. Manipulation is a hidden type of psychological pressure - a person does not understand either the true motives of the manipulator, or the fact of influence. The win is one-sided.

Manipulating people is not easy - for this you need a certain level knowledge of psychology, the ability to feel other people's weak spots, cold-bloodedness and prudence. A person who decides to do this is rather cruel and does not worry about harming the victim.

Manipulators rely on different grounds with which they manage to control the human mind. Needs and desires have been used since ancient times to have a psychological impact on a person. Take, for example, the well-known Russian passion for "freebies" - the desire to get the maximum benefit by spending less. So many swindlers enriched themselves.

Each of us in life is guided by certain ideals and values, which include ideas about good and evil, about what is right and wrong, etc. ... So, relying on them, it is quite easy for another person to manipulate us. For example, giving alms to a beggar seems to be an act of kindness and compassion, although it has long been known that most of these donations go to the pockets of the scammers behind them.

Intelligence and logic can also be manipulated. For example, using complex and long schemes, with the calculation of numerous numbers and cause-and-effect relationships. This is often used by professionals. network marketing, agitating you to join their cause: "Invest only three pennies, and get a huge profit, which is obtained from the following sources ...". As a rule, this scheme contains several logical errors, due to which you see the result that is beneficial to the manipulator.

It is very convenient to manipulate the irrational ideas of a person. These include detached from objective reality beliefs and beliefs that are formed during a person's life and which are very difficult to change from the outside. They are full of them in the minds of each of us, for example:

  • I have to take responsibility for everything.
  • If you are asked for something, then you must help.
  • I should always empathize and help other people.
  • Thank you for any service.
  • Everyone around should love me.

It is enough for the manipulator to "press" on one of these "sick corns", and the person turns into a practically trouble-free creature. Moreover, the power of these installations is enormous, and thanks to them, almost any unpleasant and inconvenient actions can be achieved from us.

Well, the most fertile ground for manipulation is our feelings and emotions. When someone makes you emotionally disturbed, it is very easy to use it for your own selfish purposes. Women manipulate men, men manipulate women, parents manipulate children, and vice versa. For example: “You love me and you won’t let me go to public transport". And so it can go on indefinitely, as feelings - inexhaustible source energy.

Methods of psychological influence

Psychological pressure can be embodied in a variety of ways - it all depends on the imagination of the aggressor. However, the basic methods of manipulating consciousness need to be known in order to resist them. As you know, forewarned is forearmed, and this is one hundred percent true of everything related to psychological pressure.

Trance

One of the oldest ways to influence the human psyche. It plunges our consciousness into a special state in which the ability to analyze information and make informed decisions is lost. Perception focuses on one thing, naturally beneficial to the manipulator. You can enter into a trance different ways- monotonous stimuli are most often used, for example, monotonous speech, rapidly changing pictures, swinging of a pendulum, etc. In such a state, consciousness is especially vulnerable to pressure, so you can be verbally suggested something or provoke you to undesirable actions.

Using trigger words

These are words that carry an important emotional and semantic connotation for the “victim”. They are often resorted to by sellers seeking to sell their goods: "Buy a TV more reliable, a more elegant fur coat, more fashionable shorts ...". They reflect some kind of assessment or quality that the “victim” wants to possess.

Tuning

It is expressed in the fact that a person copies certain components of your behavior: intonation, breathing rhythm, posture, manner of speaking, look, gait, etc. ... It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this, but after adjustment, a direct psychological effect begins . You are already on the same wavelength with a person, and it is much easier for him to “lead” you in the right direction.

Link to authorities

When you need to convince someone of something, it is often enough to refer to some expert in this field, and that's all - victory is in your pocket. Incidentally, this is a classic version of psychological pressure. Oddly enough, authorities can also make mistakes, but this remains behind the scenes.

Psychological "games"

For example, an exemplary behaving child periodically does something out of the ordinary. Perhaps he is just being mean, but more often than not, the matter is different: the child wants to be praised for good behavior which adults perceive as the norm. After misbehavior, the likelihood of receiving praise increases as the parents see the contrast. Another example: at work, the boss calls a subordinate and asks him to do a bunch of things to tomorrow. The subordinate's eyes pop into his forehead, then the boss says: “Well, okay. Do at least that." And the subordinate gladly runs away to carry out the assignment, although initially he would never have subscribed to it.

Thanks exchange

The reception of pressure consists in the fact that a person first renders you some insignificant service, which you may not have even asked for, and then persistently hints that it would be nice to thank him for this.

"Weak"

Each of us has known this technique since childhood, when you are offered a choice: either you do what is required of you, or you will turn out to be bad. It is resorted to by all and sundry: men, colleagues, bosses, friends and acquaintances, shop assistants. Paradoxically, it works!

The image of a happy future

They paint a picture of what will happen if you do what they want from you. Our soul is so arranged that it strives for a state of joy and psychological comfort, and we are ready for anything to achieve them. At the same time, the possible inconvenience for us from such an action is simply not taken into account.

frightening images

If the previous methods do not work, then the person can be shown how bad it will be if the action is not carried out. For example, the boss says: “If you don’t make a report, then the company will face fines.” Fear overpowers, and you agree.

Oddly enough, it is much easier to resist psychological pressure than to exert it. You need to realize that you are being manipulated. You can see in the partner's behavior signs of influence techniques. Persistently drawing your attention to some aspects of the problem and ignoring others should also alert you, as well as generous promises that cause reasonable doubt. In your state, during manipulation, inexplicable sympathy for a partner, sharp fluctuations in feelings, feelings of lack of time, guilt, obligation may appear - all these things should be a signal that you are being manipulated.

Next, you should inform the interlocutor that he is “brought to clean water". You may question the appropriateness of the actions and decisions that he requires of you. Then offer your own version of interaction, which in the first place will suit you.

The manipulator will resist. Then it is useful to ask questions aimed at clarifying the situation: what does he mean when he talks about the problem, what objective conditions and restrictions are there, what needs to be done to improve the situation, etc. Specify why the manipulator chose you and right now - all this will help to track what the aggressor prefers to "pressure".

Complete collection of materials on the topic: how to resist psychological pressure? from experts in their field.

Everyone knows very well how bad it is to be the object of pressure from someone else. A little confused - and you begin to act like an automaton, performing one of the children's programs: to flee, to fight, etc. How to get out of the usual rut?

The first thing to do in preparation for the defense is to stop your impulsive reaction and begin research work.

This can be done in different ways. Sometimes they recommend: count to ten. It is possible, but it works poorly. They also advise: carefully consider the person with whom you communicate, find some details that characterize him. For example, the features of clothing, facial expressions, gestures, or, say, the features of his workplace. It helps better.

Even more effective is to start tracking all the changes in the partner's state that occur in the course of his actions. Try to catch your eye: where does it go? Match the content of the words with hand movements or facial expressions.

For example, it may turn out that the interlocutor does not look into your eyes, but somewhere over you or to the side, or maybe down (is he uncomfortable for himself?) Sometimes, formidable words contrast with the fuss of hands: he pulls a button, thoughtlessly shifts then on the table, etc. All this information allows you to make assumptions about the state, motives, intentions of the partner.

Once you have managed to get yourself into the explorer state, you can begin to figure out what kind of pressure you are experiencing. If it is pressure or humiliation that is recognized fairly quickly, then you can immediately begin to defend against it.

So, you are under pressure: you are experiencing a clear compulsion. For example:

  • You are asked for something that you would really not like to do, but it is difficult to refuse, since you are dependent on the asker.
  • You are offered to do something, you refuse, but they try to pressure you with something:

A - You don't want to take responsibility?
B - It looks like you are afraid.
Q - I suspect that ... - some kind of insinuation follows.

It is not superfluous to recall that pressure can be exerted using rumors, petty quibbles, hidden threats, hints, etc.

Based on the examples given, in the first case it would be good to ask: “Can I disagree?” If the partner said that you are free to choose, then you can refer to this statement and refuse. If a suggestion has been made that you are addicted, try asking if there will be any repercussions from your refusal.

It is essential for you that the relationship between request and dependency be made clear and distinct. As a general rule, the aggressor wants to avoid looking like an aggressor (especially in the presence of witnesses), and it may be that he prefers to refuse further pressure.

If this relationship was clearly indicated from the very beginning, then the point of the inquiries will mainly be to buy time to think through further tactics.

In the second case, the pressure from the interlocutor can be weakened by a series of clarifying questions:

  • A: What made you think that I refuse to take responsibility? What am I not responsible for? To whom will I answer? Responsibility must be balanced by the granting of power, how will it be expressed?
  • B: Why do you think I'm afraid? What could I be afraid of here? Do you find any other explanation for my refusal?
  • Q: What are your suspicions based on? Why did you make this assumption? How can you verify your information? Have you checked this information?

The main point of these questions is to find out exactly the reasons why your partner has a power advantage. That is, you should:

You really need to identify the source of his power over you. Then you can more accurately organize a rebuff.

Maybe he only counts on a shout - it will be wise not to give in, but to wait until his noisy supply runs out, when he starts to scroll the same tricks a second time. Then the third one… Or, perhaps, the pressure is organized through those present: “Just look…”, “Well, tell me…”, “It is clear to everyone that…”

Do not hesitate, carefully study the reactions of those to whom these phrases seem to be addressed. The mere fact that you are looking at these people compels them to give you some kind of signal. Very rarely is there complete unanimity of observers. It may turn out that there is someone who will come to your defense. You can always turn the silence of those present to your advantage.

The main thing - do not let yourself break, object calmly and slowly. Look for an opportunity to question the identified type of power or weaken it in some other way.

Let's say there is a reference to authority - we weaken either the authority, or the scope of applicability of the judgment: they say, for this case it does not fit, or only partially fits. If your partner focuses on your age - find arguments in favor of your age as well.

Don't belittle his arguments per se (keep the perspective of cooperation), but limit their applicability to some objective considerations. For example, a partner relies on previous good relationship with you or previously provided services. Without diminishing the importance of those, show how difficult it is for you to do what is expected of you. Explain in detail the essence of your problems, show why they outweigh the strength of previous services. Of course, all this must be true.

If a partner is trying to influence you through a high rate of communication (attack), come up with a reason to stop: say that you need to call, turn off the kettle, leave - everything that can serve as a convenient excuse and allow you to interrupt the onslaught. Then set a slower pace of conversation that is comfortable for you. And every time he starts to rush you, ask again about any detail, "study the problem."

The reception, of course, is bureaucratic, but if the partner can use an “unclean” method, then it is not always necessary to resist “cleanly”. But this must be done just enough to stop the partner. You should refuse the reception as soon as it begins to destroy your relationship.

Psychological pressure - everyone has experienced this. It is worth giving up a little slack, as someone who has even the most insignificant powers begins to abuse them with might and main. We almost always act as if on an automatic machine, over and over again playing out ineffective scenarios - flight or.

William Shakespeare wrote: "You can upset me, but you can't play me." Apparently, the master of English poetry and dramaturgy had reason to say so. Even if greatest geniuses encounter attempts to manipulate them, this cannot be avoided by us mere mortals.

What is psychological manipulation

Manipulation is called hidden impact on another person, with the help of which there is a change in his initial attitudes, behavior, perception. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the main goal of psychological influence is the benefits that the aggressor needs. Since with the help of this influence the manipulator satisfies his interests, this type of behavior is considered unethical. Manipulations that are aimed at satisfying the interests of the victim are extremely rare.

Psychological pressure is a common problem, especially in the post-Soviet space. Many do not disdain them - from rude saleswomen in the store, and ending with traffic police inspectors. The first thing to do if you find yourself in such a situation is to track your emotional reaction, and try to stop it (no matter how difficult it may be).

You can often hear from psychologists a recommendation to count to ten, try to regulate your breathing, and relax your muscles. However, this does not always help, as well as other similar tips. Another, more effective, way is to switch consciousness to other objects - for example, looking at the appearance of your opponent. Analyzing the behavior of the aggressor or the work environment, looking at the details of clothing, calculating logarithms in your head (if you are a mathematical genius), translating the stapler label from English into Russian - all this helps to distract, stop the storm.


The reason for our reactions

Why is it so difficult to stop in a conflict situation, to go beyond the usual behavioral pattern? The reason lies in our physiology, and is explained by the theory of the conditional division of the brain into three main sections:

  1. The “reptilian brain” is the most ancient part, activated at the moment of a threat to life.
  2. The “mammalian brain”, which is responsible for receiving pleasure.
  3. As well as the "human brain" - a department that regulates the processes of thinking, rational analysis, reasoning.

Usually these departments work in peace and harmony. But when a person is "upset", experiencing anger or fear - excitation prevails in the "reptilian brain". It is this department that dictates the reactions of flight, expressions of aggression, fading. But in all these cases, a person cannot evaluate his actions from a logical position, understand the opponent's motivation. This scheme was saving for the ancient man. Now it causes a lot of inconvenience, although it continues to function in the same mode as millions of years ago.

You can turn off the "reptilian brain" only with the help of logical analysis, awareness of the current situation - that is, connecting the frontal lobes. The situation looks much simpler when we got out of the conflict, cooled down, got distracted. Physiologically, in the process of analyzing the situation, the following happens - the focus of nervous excitation in the brain moves from more ancient layers to cortical structures.


Types of manipulation in communication

Exist Various types psychological pressure:

  • Compulsion. The most common type of manipulation. In this case, the aggressor affects the victim in the most direct way, using power, money, information, or brute physical force;
  • Humiliation. The manipulator seeks to humiliate the victim as much as possible in order to realize his future plans. For example, at first you may hear a stream of all kinds of information about yourself about how stupid, incompetent, ugly, etc. you are. Insults can refer to mental abilities: “idiot”, “fool”. This type of manipulation always causes resentment and a desire to defend oneself. As a result, a person quickly loses the ability to critically assess the situation, and it becomes much easier for the aggressor to control him. After all, by a certain moment the victim is already in a state of “combat readiness”, in which he will zealously defend his personal boundaries. At this point, the aggressor asks the question, "Can you at least do that?" - and the victim does everything to prove to himself and to the whole world his significance;
  • Flattery. One of the most dangerous types manipulation of the mind of the interlocutor. This species poses a particular threat to those who depend on the opinions of others, have low self-esteem. Such a person can quickly succumb to the manipulator. It is quite easy to resist flattery - you just need to voice the real value of your achievements, reflecting the manipulation. For example: “You belong to such a long-suffering people, you rich story”-“ What are you, every country has pages in history when its inhabitants had to fight for justice”;
  • Avoiding a direct answer. One of the most common types of hidden manipulations. Its meaning is that the victim is taken by "starvation". When she tries to clarify the situation, she hears in response something like this: “Are you really? It's all right. What nonsense are you talking about?" Or the aggressor may constantly ask why you say unpleasant things about him.


Psychological pressure and methods of neutralization

Resisting manipulation is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance.

How can psychological pressure be neutralized?

  • The first thing to do is to realize that the actions of the aggressor have a specific purpose. You should be alerted by his stubborn attempts to draw your attention to some aspects of the issue and completely ignore others. Fluctuating emotions, a feeling of sympathy, or, conversely, indignation towards the manipulator, should also not go unnoticed. There are other signals that you should pay attention to: for example, feelings of guilt, a feeling of lack of time. Analyze the situation ahead of time. The aggressor knows that once he gets his opponent off balance, he will be very easy to control. However, as soon as you manage to soberly assess the situation, the need for an “urgent” solution to the issue, or an inappropriate sense of guilt, disappear by itself;
  • Ask questions. They should be open-ended—that is, they are not questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example: “What makes you think that I am afraid? Can you suggest that I have other grounds for refusal? This technique is especially effective in situations where the interlocutor makes accusations against you in an attempt to pressure you emotionally. Use clarifying questions as if you are asking for his opinion. Refrain from excuses, attempts to explain;
  • If you do not like the style of negotiation, feel free to interrupt the communication. You are the same participant in the process as the interlocutor. This is the most reliable way to avoid making the wrong decisions, especially when you are being rushed;
  • Another great technique for resisting manipulation is the opposite behavior. For example, the aggressor expects you to be afraid, but you demonstrate courage and determination; expects impudence from you - you show surprise; if you are forced to act in a hurry, you become even slower;
  • Play for time - this will allow you to remember the tricks with which you can repel manipulation. For example, you can sharply “remember” that you need to take medicine, call your child, or go out of need. You can just drop a pencil on the floor and look for it for a long time. It is desirable that you always have the techniques of resisting manipulation at the ready, and you can use them “on the machine”. But if you don’t have such an opportunity yet, a pause will allow you to get together and adjust your behavior strategy.

All for now.
Sincerely, Vyacheslav.

Good afternoon dear friend!

I can guarantee that you have had situations when, in response to a psychological attack, you fell into a stupor. Or you were seized by a fit of rage. However, your humble servant is no exception. Let's think howresist psychological pressure in more adequate ways.

Reactions of stupor or rage are natural. These are primitive instincts - to "freeze" or "fight". But in modern life relying only on instincts is an unaffordable luxury.

One way or another, it is important to arm yourself with knowledge first. Just to recognize such situations. The very awareness that you are under pressure will smooth out your reactions. and will not allow an uncontrolled avalanche-like growth of emotions.

Psychological wushu

I propose to name several self-defense techniques with such a “wrestling” term. They include speech patterns and intonations that allow you to resist pressure or take the conversation in a different direction.

So, psychological wushu includes:

  1. Certain speech structures
  2. Solidity: pauses, slowness of speech
  3. Intonation appropriate for your reaction

Why resist the pressure?

Sometimes our interlocutor simply tests us for strength. Often such tricks are used by recruiters in interviews. And sometimes leaders. Usually in the form of tough, or even questions.

In a way, this is an emotional game. The main task: to evaluate your reaction to stress factors.

In order to play these “games” correctly, it is important to keep yourself under control. For this you need:
  1. to recognize the growth of their emotions in time and “ ”
  2. timely apply counteraction techniques - psychological wushu.

Maintaining dignity, calmness, you will make a much better impression than someone who starts up half a turn or falls into prostration. This will certainly affect the outcome of the negotiations.

Psychological wushu techniques:

Let's look at a few techniques that allow you to either successfully resist psychological pressure, or reduce the situation to nothing, as if transferring energy in a different direction.

Infinite Refinement

A question or several questions about the nature or object of criticism.

- Why do you think it is appropriate to go to a meeting with a shareholder in such a tie?

— Well, what kind of tie do you think is more appropriate? What colour? What form? And which of the employees walks in a suitable tie?

When we hear the word "violence", we first of all imagine an aggressive person using force on a weaker one. However, violence can manifest itself not only in the form of physical aggression, but also in the form of psychological pressure and coercion. And many psychologists are sure that emotional and verbal violence is much more dangerous for a person than physical, since it does not cripple the body, but the psyche and. A person who is regularly subjected to psychological violence gradually loses confidence in himself and his "I" and begins to live with the desires and attitudes of the aggressor, making efforts to achieve his goals.

Signs and types of psychological abuse

Psychological violence, unlike physical violence, is not always obvious, since it can manifest itself not only in the form of screaming, swearing and insults, but also in the form of subtle manipulation of a person’s emotions and feelings. In most cases, the goal of the one who uses psychological violence is to force the victim to change their behavior, opinion, decision and act as the aggressor-manipulator wants. However, it should be noted that there is separate category people who use psychological violence and pressure in order to morally break the victim and make her completely dependent on their will. To achieve their goal, the aggressors use the following types psychological abuse:

Protection from psychological abuse

Psychological pressure is easiest for people who do not have strong personal boundaries and do not know how to defend their own rights. Therefore, in order to protect yourself from psychological violence, you must first of all, designating for yourself your rights and obligations in each of the spheres of life. Next, you need to act according to the situation, depending on what type of psychological violence the aggressor uses.

Opposition to the lover to command

When faced with a commanding and ordering person, two questions need to be asked: “Am I obligated to follow this person’s orders?” and "What happens if I don't do what he wants?" If the answers to these questions are “No” and “Nothing bad for me,” then the self-proclaimed commander should be put in his place with something like this: “Why are you telling me what to do? It is not my duty to carry out your orders." Further orders and commands should simply be ignored.

Practical example: Employees A and B work in the same office in the same positions. Employee A regularly transfers part of his duties to employee B, without providing any counter services in return. In this case, the opposition to the aggressor will look like this:

A: You are just printing out something, well, print out my report, and then put it in a folder and take it to the accounting department.

B: Do I work here as your secretary? It is not my job to print your documents and deliver them anywhere. I've got a lot of work to do, so take care of your report yourself and don't distract me, please.

Protection from verbal aggression

The goal is to make the victim embarrassed, upset, stressed, start making excuses, etc. Therefore, the best defense against verbal aggression is not to live up to the aggressor's expectations and react in a completely different way from what he expects: to joke, remain indifferent or feel sorry for the offender. Also effective way protection against such psychological violence is the developed famous psychologist M. Litvak method "Psychological Aikido". The essence of this method is to apply in any conflict situations depreciation - smoothing out the conflict by agreeing with all the statements of the aggressor (as a psychiatrist agrees with everything that the patient tells him).

Practical example: The husband calls names and tries to humiliate his wife every time he has Bad mood. Protection from psychological abuse in this case may be as follows:

M: You don't know anything at all! You are a disgusting hostess, you can’t even clean the house properly, there’s a feather lying around under the sofa!

Zh: Yes, I'm so clumsy, it's so hard for you with me! Surely you know how to clean better than me, so I will be grateful if you help me clean the house next time.

Confronting Ignorance

It is important to remember that intentional ignoring is always manipulation, so you should not give in to the pressure of the manipulator and try to appease him so that he changes his anger into mercy. A person who is inclined to be constantly offended and “turn on the ignore” in response to any actions that do not suit him needs to be made clear that playing silent is his right, but he will not achieve anything with his behavior.

Practical example: Two sisters live in the same apartment separately from their parents. Younger sister(M) from childhood used to manipulate older sister(WITH). In cases where M does not like something, she begins to deliberately ignore C and triple her boycott. Countering psychological pressure in such cases is as follows:

S: I'm leaving in a week for a business trip for two months.

S: This business trip is important for my career. And nothing will happen to you in these two months. You do not Small child- Find something to entertain yourself.

M: Does that mean? Then you're not my sister anymore and I'm not talking to you!

Confronting the psychological pressure of duty or guilt


Strong personal boundaries are a reliable defense against the pressure of feelings of guilt and duty. Knowing the boundaries of his rights and duties, a person can always determine what is not included in his duties. And if a person notices that his boundaries are being violated, he should directly inform the aggressor about the limits of his responsibility and duties and make it clear that the manipulation has failed.

Practical example: Single mother (M) trying to ban adult daughter leave to work in another city, pressing on her sense of duty. The response in this case could be:

M: How can you leave me alone? I raised you, raised you, and now you want to leave? Children should be a support for parents in old age, and you are leaving me!

D: I'm not leaving you - I'll call you, come to visit and help you with money. Or do you want me to lose the opportunity to get a high-paying job and not be able to fulfill my dreams?

M: What are you talking about? Of course, I want the best for you, but I will feel bad without you!

D: Mom, you are an adult, and I believe that you can find yourself a lot interesting activities. I promise that I will call you regularly and visit you often.

Confronting bullying

Hearing from a friend, relative or colleague phrases with the meaning "if you do not do something, then misfortune will happen in your life" or "if you do not change your behavior, then I will do something bad for you", you need to ask yourself a question whether the threat is real. In the case where intimidation or threats have no real basis, the blackmailer can be invited to bring his threat to life right now. If your life, health or well-being and you are sure that he can fulfill the threat, then it is best to record his words on a voice recorder or video camera and then contact the police.

Practical example: Employee A has not fulfilled his part of the project and is trying to intimidate employee B to do his job. To resist pressure in such cases, you can do this:

A: Why are you going to leave if the work on the project is not finished yet? If we don't finish today, your boss will fire you. Do you want to be unemployed?

B: I have done my part of the work. I don't think I'll get fired for not doing your job.

A: The boss doesn't care who does what. He wants a result. So help me if you don't want to be kicked out.

Q: Do you think? Why wait until tomorrow? Let's go to the boss right now and ask him to fire me for refusing to do your part of the job.

Many people are aware that psychological violence is used against them, but they do not dare to fight back for fear of spoiling relations with someone who likes to command, manipulate or insult. In such cases, you need to decide for yourself what exactly such relationships are valuable for and whether it is better not to communicate with an aggressive person at all than to regularly endure his insults and act to your detriment, succumbing to his blackmail and manipulation.