Question to a psychologist 

Why does a person get nervous over trifles? How to learn to be calm in any situation and not get nervous

But in order to solve this problem, you first need to understand the reason for its occurrence.

So why are people nervous?

Everything comes from the internal discomfort that we experience at certain moments. Nervousness, as a rule, appears at the physiological and psychological levels.

For example, you are injured or injured - this is a good reason to be nervous, and you will also need to seek medical help.

This is a common tactic used by people to avoid stress before doing something important. But other participants were told that psychologists adhere to simple ritual: For example, some had to draw a picture of what they felt and then break it into pieces and throw it away.

"We found that talking about calming down doesn't work," the psychologist said. "It's like when you tell someone who's angry and yelling that they should stop yelling, it usually doesn't work," he added. "But doing small rituals like these helped people deal with more anxiety and then achieve better performance," Norton said.

A good way to calm down is to watch some video, for example with magic tricks.

The first aspect is related to the characteristics of our nervous system, and the second is characterized by a tendency to overestimate any circumstances, uncertainty, anxiety, etc.

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One of the factors that causes anxiety before these stressful situations is, in particular, the lack of control over what will happen to the person. A prime example of this is waiting for an exam in which another person will evaluate you.

“Rituals are like a form of controlled behavior, they make us feel more in control, and this relates to how anxious we feel,” the psychologist explained. In addition, the researchers believe that the symbolism behind the ritual can help a lot, although it is not essential.

Signs of distress, consequences, solutions

Partial experiences lead to loss of attention, performance and strength. But if a person is worried about any reason, then this can lead to much more serious consequences: permanent nervous breakdowns, the development of an inferiority complex or a personality disorder.

In addition, this affects the state of health as a whole: periodic pain occurs, the color and condition of the skin deteriorates, and weight is rapidly gained or, conversely, lost.

Difference between habit and ritual

Norton says, simply following a sequence of actions with no specific meaning. According to the psychologist, the very fact of calling it a ritual can have a positive effect. According to Norton, a habit is an action in itself that you do just because, in this example, because you want to drink tea.

"Ritual has more to do with how you make tea, for example if you always follow the same steps," he explains. Another way to consider whether an action is a ritual or not is to ask what will happen if you don't do it. If you couldn't drink this tea, how unpleasant you would be, he says.

When there is excitement:

  1. release of adrenaline into the blood
  2. heart rate increases significantly
  3. lips begin to tremble
  4. attention wanders
  5. pupils enlarge
  6. body trembles
  7. speech is impaired
  8. and in some cases beads of sweat appear.

“When it doesn’t bother you and influences you, then it becomes closer to the ritual and moves away from the habit,” explains the psychologist. But all this is within the normal degree of concern in a particular stressful situation. Obviously, when performing rituals to the extreme, as in the case of people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, this is not a strategy that helps. In these cases, the ritual interferes Everyday life, says Norton.

Do you know how you can control your anxiety before a presentation? Everyone remembers their first audience. They usually occur in school, or for some, college. These are the weeks when you don't sleep well, try to embellish all the lines of your speech and speak as if it were a robot. Presents his family, dog, etc. in front of the mirror. nothing is enough to calm you down.

So, as soon as you notice the first signs of anxiety in yourself, think about what factor is causing you to feel this way. It could be anything: speaking in front of an audience, an ordinary conversation, lack of information, etc.

If your worries are related to a guy, read this and it will help.

Nervousness and anxiety cause symptoms and sensations such as tachycardia, shaking hands, sweaty palms, and often when you go on stage, the person is hanging and comes to this "white". Completely and completely forgetting what you have to say. This only helps increase nervousness.

They say the greatest fear a person has is speaking in public. The second is the fear of death. This means we are more afraid of presenting to a larger audience than of dying. It's no coincidence that many people are afraid and have great difficulty controlling their nervousness before presenting themselves.

If you have problems with your computer or with some website, for example, with classmates and you don’t know, but all this has already been described. If there are other problems, look for it - the answer is always simple and well described on the Internet.

You don’t even have to worry if you ask someone for money, even if you ask a man - the article describes that there is nothing wrong with this.

If you're afraid of public speaking, rest assured that the secret is not how to get rid of nervousness, but how to deal with it. In fact, everyone has a little chill in their stomach before going on stage. From the most introverted to the most expansive communicator. Provocation: Research shows that it is actually a fear of failure, criticism, judgment, limitation, comparison, or rejection. This means there is a lot of anxiety involved in this equation.

Get ready to take the stage

We've got 10 tips for you to calm down before you go on stage. Preparing for work is the key to reducing your anxiety levels. Prepare by making or participating in the process of creating your presentation: from planning, logical slide structure to content. The more you own the content and chronological order, the better you will feel.

If you want to solve the problem comprehensively, then in your free time take Blank sheet paper and divide it into several columns.

  • In the first, write down what scares you, in the second, indicate the consequences that may provoke your fears, and in the third, indicate the result that you would like to achieve if anxiety did not interfere with you.
  • Psychologists also advise you to relax more, do meditation, yoga and just learn to relax.

Know the location of your presentation

If possible, go to the presentation site in advance. Imagine yourself performing, getting up on stage, looking at the empty chairs. Look at any problems that might arise during the presentation and how you work around them: an audio problem or someone in the audience with more difficult questions.

No the best way calm your nerves and ensure a winning presentation than rehearsing out loud in front of an audience. Practicing your presentation will give you the confidence and ability to correct mistakes and passages that can be improved in your content. Sports psychologists have proven that an athlete's ability to visualize their success creates more high level victory. Before your next presentation, teach yourself how to speak with confidence and poise, placing information in the right places and making your content meaningful to your audience.

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How to relax before a meeting, exam and medical examination

You have an important business meeting, an interview, or another doctor’s visit coming up. It would seem like ordinary everyday events, but for some reason you are worried.

Know who the audience is and what they want to learn from the presentation. Get there early and talk to the audience, understand what they expect from your presentation. Will you deliver what they need? With this information, you begin to draw out the "rules of the game" and become more relaxed about what you will find when you take the stage.

Strengthen your positivity. In each of these steps, focusing on making sure that they are being followed will help you in the success of your presentation as a whole. Every audience research, every teaching, is one step closer to peace of mind. Now the idea is to convince yourself that you are up to the task.

How can you calm down and stop being nervous?

  • First, prepare yourself properly. Rehearse all your lines from start to finish, think over your behavioral tactics;
  • Secondly, say what you think is necessary. Answer questions briefly, clearly and concisely. Do not give the person unnecessary and empty information. This will never benefit either you or him, but will negatively affect the result;
  • Third, on the day of an important event, think about something else. Play your favorite music or watch New film(genre doesn't matter). This should distract you from overwhelming thoughts.


Breathe deeply before you speak

Shortness of breath at the beginning of a presentation is quite common, even for experienced presenters. For you who will be performing at a large event, look for an isolated place to do some breathing exercises to “warm up” on stage. This practice will help rid the body of excess energy and reduce sensations of tachycardia and trembling hands, for example.

Starting a presentation often carries enormous responsibility. This happens very often: in the beginning, when the presenter is still cold, he usually feels more fragile and unfit to win over the audience. These sensations may increase nervousness. Getting the presentation good will give you the confidence to work hard until the end.

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If you start to feel anxious before an exam or doctor's appointment, prepare everything in advance. necessary information. You are required to provide the doctor with actual facts about your health condition.

Your audience doesn't notice your nervousness

The public can't see how you feel inside, so they often don't see how nervous you are.

Train connections for alarm monitoring

Don't just decorate your slides, but also the connections between them. How do you connect one item to another? Having this planned already will also give you an edge over your feelings of nervousness.

Your presentation requires planning, roadmaps and moving design

We are experts in developing videos and presentations that are smarter and more effective. We have service, script, art and motion teams dedicated to creating videos and presentations. For a variety of public purposes and purposes. We know how to turn any subject into results. Count us in to create your next presentation.

Remember that the final result will depend on your words. A problem you may encounter in the exam is lack of information. The same principle applies here - preliminary preparation. Remember old proverb“Aware means armed.”

How not to be nervous if you've lost a loved one

When we're talking about about loss loved one, realize that you need to experience it. This is very difficult and will require a lot of time, patience and effort.

The question may seem a little absurd, but this is where we need to start. Well, the purpose of a sexual encounter today, with the exception of some pregnancy couples, is pleasure. Pleasure is everything that is tasty, pleasant and easy. And to feel pleasure, we need to relax.

When you are anxious, nervous or anxious, both your mind and body are primed to deal with a threat, whether real or imagined. When the body is mobilized in this direction, it is tense and cannot relax or feel pleasure. So either you're relaxed and feeling pleasure, or you're nervous and anxious, both at the same time just not giving.

  1. Accept that things will never be the same again and this will help you open up and accept new things.
  2. Provide yourself with the support of people close to you.
  3. Don’t try to suppress your grief; it’s better to let it out right away.
  4. It is also recommended to contact a professional psychologist, who will help you cope with your loss much faster.

Relaxation starts outside the bed

First of all, let the world be where it belongs: there. Focus on the present moment, i.e. try to bring your mind to where your body is. It is not good to be inside the room with the head of the office, the accounts or the list in the market. Remember to bring your mind to where you are physically.

An exercise that may help is meditating for 30 seconds. Every day, during the day, whenever you remember, stop for 30 seconds and pay attention. Notice sounds, smells, temperature, the touch of clothing on your body, and breathing. Try to repeat six times a day. So you start bringing your attention to the present moment.

Learn to relax, stop thinking about the negative, prepare in advance for each important event, plan your day carefully, “go out” more often, talk to strangers and improve yourself.

This will undoubtedly give you self-confidence and affect the quality of your life in the most in the best possible way. If problems arise, make an appointment with a psychologist, but only if the methods described above did not help you.

Don't worry about performance

Just stop worrying and comparing yourself. Each person is unique and you are not being assessed, this is not a vestibular test. Nowadays we have little room for jokes and relaxation. Sexual time is one of these several moments. You don't work, you don't need to achieve goals, you just need to enjoy and together, give and receive pleasure.

The sexual moment should be one of relaxation, play, humor. Think of this moment as a short break from your fears and worries. Remember: to feel pleasure and, as a result, to enjoy, you need to relax. And in this contact, because in this preview, relaxation occurs.

Unfortunately, for many of us, stress has become an integral part of everyday life. Being stressed all the time is not the most pleasant way to spend your time. Moreover, long-term stress negatively affects the body, causing the development of a variety of health problems, including asthma, heart disease and diabetes. Is there a way out of this situation? Learn to calm down! Whether you have a day off today, or, conversely, a tense situation is in full swing, if you approach things correctly, you can always relax and start enjoying life. Always remember a simple rule: "Relax!"

If it doesn't work, get help

Try to explore kisses, bites, harder and lighter touches, scratches, masseuses. Try to say something interesting or put it down. Explore massages with oils and creams. Remember to joke, explore, be curious. And if it's too difficult to lower your adrenaline and enjoy the moment, don't despair, seek help from a psychologist who specializes in sexuality.

A specialist psychologist is indicated for any difficulties or doubts in the sexual area. During care sessions, he serves as a guide to self-awareness and can tailor relaxation techniques, communication, and more to each case and type of difficulty. The Fuev test is already this Sunday. To avoid wasting all the effort and dedication you had during the year due to nervousness, we spoke with psychologist Rafael Lorenzo de Camargo, pre-university course consultant and director of the Franchi Institute of Cognitive Behavioral Psychology.

Steps

Give yourself a rest day

    Set aside all your responsibilities for a while. When you want to have a day of rest and relaxation, the key is to prepare ahead of time. It's hard to truly relax and unwind if you have to focus on completing a work project or tending to a screaming baby. Below is a list of things you can do ahead of time. Certainly, life circumstances Everyone is different, so some of your responsibilities may not match the list below:

    • Take an extraordinary day off from work. If necessary, take days off as vacation credit. Please note that most often management will expect you to give advance notice - usually several weeks in advance.
    • If you have children, hire a nanny. Of course, children are a great blessing, but sometimes they can turn our lives into a real nightmare. You shouldn't take risks, otherwise you may end up spending your entire day off playing ok and changing diapers. It is better to entrust the care of the child to a responsible nanny on this day.
    • If necessary, make preparations for the trip. Sometimes you just need to change your routine to relax. If you want to get away from the city, buy tickets or reserve a hotel to stay in advance so you don't have to do it in a last-minute rush.

  1. Pamper yourself and take a relaxing bath or shower. When you do decide to get out of bed (and on a rest day you can do this whenever you want), start your day with a relaxing bath or shower. A warm bath or shower has been proven to help calm the mind, relieve tense muscles, and clear cluttered thoughts. More importantly, a bath helps you feel good and makes it possible, at least for a while, to forget about all the problems and focus on the pleasant sensations of your body - in other words relax.

    Have a cup of coffee or tea with friends. If caffeinated drinks give you a headache or make you nervous, you shouldn't add this item to your rest day to-do list. If you think a little caffeine wouldn't hurt you, drinking a cup of coffee with friends can help you relax and take your mind off the stress of everyday life. In fact, according to some studies, if a person drinks coffee with people with whom communication brings him joy, it has a pronounced relaxing effect on him. On the other hand, if you drink coffee alone, it may even increase your stress.

    Give yourself the opportunity to take up a hobby that you usually don't have time for. Do you consider yourself the second Picasso? Have you been dying to pick up an old guitar and play some original compositions? Today is the time to pamper yourself. A day of rest is good because it gives you the opportunity to devote a lot of time to all those things that you secretly wanted to do during those long hours spent performing the necessary duties of life. Now you can feel free to spend a few hours (or even the whole day if you want) to bring joy to yourself. Here are some things you might want to do:

    • Try doing something creative. When you're in last time painted a picture, wrote a song or composed a story? If you can't remember, you might want to do something creative today and complete a project at your own pace.
    • Do minor repairs or home improvements. Small home renovations or home improvements can bring you great satisfaction (and are a great long-term investment of time and energy because they will reduce your home's maintenance costs).
    • Read a book. Real, time-tested paper books are becoming a rarity today. Nothing calms a person more than a few hours near the fireplace. spent reading your favorite book. Think about it, maybe this method of relaxation is right for you.
    • Play video games. There's nothing wrong with lounging on the couch for a few hours playing video games. However, if this activity already takes up a lot of time in your daily life, it is better to consider some other hobby that you usually pay attention to much less often.

  2. Try to cook a simple dish. Tasty food- this is what you simply need on a day of rest. Do you want to improve your cooking skills (and save some money that you would have spent at a cafe or restaurant)? Try preparing delicious and nutritious food for yourself and for the friends who may be hanging out with you. You can find thousands of different recipes on the Internet. A few minutes of searching in Yandex - and you already have several dozen recipes for your favorite dish. You can also choose any dish from a wide variety of recipes on our website. .

    • If you don't like to cook, don't hesitate to reserve a table at your favorite restaurant or order food delivered to your home. Delicious food is one of the undeniable sources of pleasure for a person; you should not neglect it on your day of rest!

  3. Complete your daily tasks without haste. If you have organized yourself a day of rest, this does not mean that you cannot do something useful. It would be a good idea to do some things that you still need to do in your free time. Not only will this give you the satisfaction of having done something meaningful, it will also reduce your stress levels in the long run. After all, any obligatory task you complete today will not be hanging over your soul tomorrow. Below is a list of cases you may want to consider:

    • Pay your bills
    • Send letters and parcels
    • Send your resume to positions of interest
    • Solve support problems
    • Do things related to government agencies(for example, check and pay fines to the traffic police).

  4. Watch a movie. Watching movies is the most calm and relaxing way to have fun (unless you choose a horror or thriller movie to watch, of course). Sit back on the couch next to your loved one or invite your friends over. A few peaceful hours spent watching long-loved films or new cinema releases will become perfect ending day of rest.

    • If you have the opportunity, you could even have a movie night with your friends. You can choose movies with a specific theme (for example, art house) or choose films at random. The choice is yours!
    • If your budget allows, you can enjoy watching movies on the big screen by going to the cinema with your friends. If all your friends are busy that day, you can go to the cinema alone, although not everyone likes to watch movies alone. If you don't want to break the bank, try to find matinee shows with inexpensive tickets.

  5. Spend the evening in public (or at home!) Some people enjoy ending their day of relaxation with a fun party at a nightclub, while others prefer to stay at home and go to bed earlier. You and only You decide what the perfect ending to your day of rest will be!

    • No need to think. that you simply must go somewhere to have fun in the evening, even if you don’t feel like it. Your friends won't be going anywhere until tomorrow if you decide to skip one night at the club and go to bed early.
    • Conversely, if you have the opportunity, go with friends to night club and have fun like in the good old days. Of course, you shouldn’t go on a spree if you have an important event planned the next day. If you return home late from a party, the next day you are unlikely to have the strength to work hard.

  6. If you're old enough, a little alcohol might be a good idea (especially if you're smart about it). Let's face it, work and daily responsibilities can stress anyone out. Sometimes we just need to relax a little with the help of alcohol. There is nothing wrong with this, especially if you know when to stop. For example, if you drink one or two glasses of wine with friends at the end of a hard day, it is unlikely to harm you in any way. According to some data, moderate consumption of alcoholic beverages (for example, a small bottle of beer daily) is actually beneficial for human health.

    • However, do not forget that excessive alcohol consumption will only increase stress. Not to mention the consequences of excessive alcohol consumption such as hangover, nausea and other unpleasant physiological manifestations, loss of control due to large dose alcohol can lead to poor decisions that will ruin your life for a long time (and can even land you in jail).

Get out of a stressful situation

  1. Stop what you are currently doing and take a short break. It's not often that we have the luxury of planning an entire day to relax. Whether stress is caused by work, school, relationships, or other external factors, sometimes annoying thoughts and feelings come at once and become unbearably painful. In such cases, it won't help you if you start planning a rest day in the future - the problem is that you want to feel better Here and now. Start by simply stopping what you are doing and get out of the stressful situation and give yourself some time to just be lazy.

    Try to look at the situation from a different point of view. Relieving stress depends not only on your actions, but also on your way of thinking. If you're feeling irritable and anxious, don't let those negative thoughts get the better of you. Try to think about your problems logically and impartially. Try to identify what exactly is causing you to feel stressed. Do you feel that you have been treated unfairly? Are you unable to complete the tasks you want to see completed? Have you been assigned too many tasks at once? Think about your thoughts, instead of focusing on how you feel. It can completely change the way you think about a situation in just a few minutes, and sometimes even provide the opportunity to unexpectedly understand something new.

    • For example, imagine a situation where on Friday evening you were about to go home, but then your boss suddenly came into the office and gave you an unexpected task for the weekend. At this moment, when you feel resentment overwhelming you inside, you have two ways to respond to the situation. Of course, you can let your feelings get the better of you and rant about the injustice for the rest of the weekend. But wouldn't it be better to try to think about why it hurt you so much? Perhaps you feel that your employer is not rewarding you enough for your time and contribution to the company? If this is the case, wouldn't it be better in the long term to think about looking for another job or try to negotiate better conditions organization of the work process.

  2. Talk through your problems. Don't try to cope with stress alone. If you have the opportunity, try talking to someone else about the problem that is causing your stress. Explaining your problems to a friendly listener can help you better understand their problems and psychologically "blow off steam" by allowing your feelings to come out. However, psychologists note that it is very important to choose the right interlocutor and talk about your problems with a person who can listen to you patiently, and not with those who can only increase your stress.

    • For example, in the situation described above, it would be a good idea to call home after work and blow off steam by telling your parents or brother or sister about the problem. On the other hand, most likely hardly It's a good idea to discuss the situation with your annoying flatmate, especially if your relationship is already strained because she's again behind on her share of the rent.

  3. Try laughing or smiling. The last thing an angry, irritated person wants to hear is the phrase: “Hey, what the hell, smile!” However, even if you don't want to admit it, there is a grain of truth in this advice. Smiling (and other "happy" behavior such as laughing) actually Maybe make you happier because it triggers a release in the human brain chemical substances that improve mood. Conversely, when you frown and act like an “unhappy” person, the opposite effect occurs and negative feelings increase.

  4. Find a constructive way to release your overwhelming energy. Eat good way cope with suppressed stress - direct it in a different direction, where excess energy and tension will help you do something useful. For example, feelings of anger and anger will make it much easier to complete a long, intense workout (and most importantly, physical exercise- this is a good way to reduce your stress level and improve your mood; below you will find more information about this question). Another good way is to sublimate stress energy into creative activities, such as writing stories or playing a musical instrument.

    • In our example of unexpected weekend work, a constructive behavior would have been to head to the gym after work rather than straight home. This would provide an opportunity to derive health benefits from anger. You could run, do a few sets of weights, and if you're really angry, you could hit the punching bag heartily.

  5. Try meditation. While some may find this advice cheesy and newfangled, learning to meditate has been proven to help many people cope with stress and, in other words, relax. There is no universal “right” way to meditate. Generally speaking, to begin meditation, you need to get away from a stressful environment, close your eyes, breathe slowly and focus on getting rid of annoying, anxiety-inducing thoughts. Some people need to take complex yoga gymnastics poses for meditation, others mentally imagine certain images or pictures, others repeat it out loud simple words or mantras. There are people who walk in circles during meditation!

    • If you need more detailed information on this issue (including detailed instructions, how you can free your mind from annoying thoughts), you can find many excellent articles about meditation on our website.

  6. First of all, make an action plan and stick to it. All of the above techniques can be extremely useful if used wisely. However, if you want relief from stress to make you feel satisfied and benefit you, you need to try deal with it. The temptation to run away from stress at work, school or home is, of course, very strong, but the most quick way getting rid of stress is to fight it. In addition, the satisfaction of a job well done will help reduce stress on for a long time, even if you have to work hard to achieve your goal first.

    • In our example, it would be optimal to try to complete the task as quickly as possible, for example, on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Then you will still have a lot of free time to implement all your plans for the weekend. When you come to work on Monday, it would be a good idea to talk with your boss and discuss how best to organize your work in order to avoid such emergency situations in the future.
    • Don't put off work until the last minute. Putting off work now will only increase your stress, especially if you have work to do by certain period. If you get the job done right away, you can then truly enjoy your vacation. Otherwise, you will constantly worry that you will still have to do the work that has been put off for later.

  • Exercise more often. As we already mentioned, one intense workout has been proven to help quickly relieve stress in a short time. However regular playing sports is also effective way maintain a positive, calm attitude towards life over time. Although it is still not fully understood which biological mechanisms provide this effect, Scientific research show that regular classes exercise can provide significant protection against health problems caused by stress, especially depression.

    • On our website you can find many articles that will give you information in a clear and intelligible form on how to make physical exercise a part of your life, including examples of complexes for different levels physical training.

  • Get more rest. The quality of sleep can have a huge impact on how we feel while we're awake. Try to remember the last time you stayed up all night and how you felt the next day. Even alone a sleepless night can make you feel bad for the whole day afterwards, and constant lack of sleep can be a leading factor causing stress in the long term. There is evidence that long-term lack of adequate sleep increases the risk of stress-related diseases, such as heart disease, stroke and many other diseases. If you want to be healthy and live a stress-free life, get plenty of restful, long sleep every night (it's generally accepted that an adult should get between seven and nine hours of sleep a night).

    • It's also important to understand that the relationship between sleep and stress also works in the opposite direction. In other words, just as lack of sleep can cause stress, stress itself can cause insomnia.
    • Change your position: Studies have shown that lying down is much easier to relax than standing.
    • Some people advocate the idea of ​​"refreshing naps", arguing that a short nap of 15-20 minutes during the day is a great way to relax and rejuvenate during a busy day. However, other people say they have difficulty waking up fully after a short nap.
    • Here are some more ideas to help you calm down:
      • Look at the rain or clouds.
      • Have someone read a book out loud to you until you fall asleep.
      • Wash your face with cold water.
      • Draw with pencils or paints. And don't worry about what kind of drawing you end up with.
    • If your nervousness and anxiety increase after a cup of tea or coffee, try replacing them with caffeine-free alternatives. Drinking caffeine can cause stress for some people, especially if they become dependent on the substance.

    Warnings

    • Rest can greatly improve your ability to creative activity(of course, unless you go to the other extreme and start being lazy). Sleeping, relaxing, or daydreaming can help replenish your creativity. The next time you're feeling writer's block, take a break from work for an hour and you'll feel refreshed.
    • You should not allow the desire to relax and rest distract you from serious matters (for example, from work). If you are in the middle of a serious project, it is best to take short breaks of 10-15 minutes every hour. If you are doing small tasks, make sure you complete the next one before resting.