What is modesty? Modesty is the most powerful weapon of a Woman in the struggle for a Man. Humility in everyday life

Often modesty is mistaken for weakness and indecision, but when experience proves to people that they were mistaken, then modesty gives new charm, strength and respect to character.

He who searches deeply into his soul so often catches himself in error,

which inevitably becomes modest. He is no longer proud of his

enlightenment, he does not consider himself superior to others.

Almost always, modesty is directly proportional to talent.

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guardian of virtue.

Modesty as a personality trait - a tendency to show a lack of desire for honors .

An overly modest guy in a pharmacy, terribly embarrassed in line, barely whispers: - I would like this ... a condom. Apothecary: What, what? Speak louder! - Well, in general, Polina, Rosa, Elena, Zina, Evdokia, Ruslana, Valya, Aksinya, Tonya, Ira, Vera. Pharmacist with surprise: - And where are you with one condom for such a crowd?

Girl, do you have a boyfriend? -Not. -You are very modest. Such a beautiful and sweet girl should have a boyfriend? - Yes, I do not mind, my husband is against ...

A person sometimes cannot evade honors, but this in no way speaks of his indiscretion. Maria Skłodowska-Curie the first ever winner twice Nobel Prize. In 1910, she succeeded in isolating pure metallic radium. Thus, a 12-year cycle of life-threatening hard labor was completed. Out of modesty, she did not even patent the results of her research. Maria argued: “Radium should not enrich anyone. This element belongs to the whole world.” During the First World War, Maria headed the radiological service of the Red Cross Society and herself went to front-line hospitals. She learned to drive a car, and, if necessary, became an auto mechanic. In her youth, she courageously endured the cold of the attic, then in a barn unsuitable for a laboratory, she carried out laborious experiments, and during the First World War, with her calmness and modesty, she turned into a soldier. She was revered by the whole world, but she never had a desire for honors and glory.

What does indiscretion look like, that is, a person striving for honors? He focuses attention on himself, behaves in a mannered way, speaks loudly, with pathos and commanding notes in his voice, is brightly dressed, shows envy, etc. Immodestness as a manifestation of pride constantly enters into antagonism with others, and this leads to suffering and pain. When a person does not speak sincerely, with pathos, people consciously or unconsciously oppose his indiscretion. The risk of conflict increases, and that means pain and suffering. The ego of indiscretion clashes with the mass ego of others.

Unlike indiscretion, modesty is always in a state of peace, that is, its mind is calm. Peace is peace of mind, that is, the mind of a peaceful person is not excited by his ego, he is constantly at rest. A modest person, first of all, peaceful person . Not quiet, but peaceful. A quiet person can be far from modest: there are devils in a still pool.

An indiscreet person, having lost his “candy” of honors, feels envy. Indiscretion without honors grimaces and comes from envy. Modesty behaves calmly, unpretentiously, always does his duty well, with and without honors. Indiscretion, if beckoned with honors, will fulfill its duties, and it would never occur to her to disinterestedly fulfill her duty. Lack of modesty is a burning desire for honors. Indiscretion is not stable, without remuneration, privileges and honors, it is inoperable. In other words, a lot of problems arise with an immodest person: he does not work stably, conflicts with people, he is not respected. If the team was healthy, then with the advent of indiscretion, envy will corrode it.

Humility is a personality trait that manifests itself about yourself, not about other people . It is different from humility. Humility means victory over anger, a person perceives all incoming information humbly, scold or praise him - he will react equally humbly. Humility - top quality a saintly person, it automatically implies modesty. Humility doesn't have to be humble. If modesty is scolded, insulted, brought to a "white heat", it can not stand it and burst into anger. She is indifferent to glorifications, honors, gifts, but when her human dignity is insulted, she, too, can "stand on her hind legs." In other words, humility is the absence of anger, and modesty is the absence of a desire for honor. Humility is a necessary step towards humility.

Humility versus indiscretion able to listen, perceive new . Indiscretion is not able to listen. Active listening implies humility. This personality trait is the opposite of pride, so indiscretion cannot claim it. For example, a young provincial came to Moscow to conquer scientific world. His main motivation is, for example, obtaining scientific titles and degrees, achieving material well-being, honor and glory. Science for him is not a goal, but a means of enrichment. Angry and hungry, he furiously gnaws at the granite of science. Gradually, having accumulated knowledge, he "settles down" - he becomes a candidate, then a doctor of sciences. With the tail of years, pride, that he knows more than others, grows, his egoism is activated. Gradually, the ego of a person gets close to the mind, and he begins to feel all-knowing, the most intelligent and irreplaceable. This means that modesty is lost, the ability to further develop, improve, progress is lost. When he was humble, he could listen to other people, learn from them. That's when he was happy. But since the motives of his knowledge were exclusively selfish and had the most distant relation to the knowledge of the truth, he himself "cut off his oxygen." Leaving on the baggage of past merits, he puffs up in front of everyone, trying to confirm his importance. Even his "home" he gets his selfishness. An annoyed wife tells him: “You can play a genius in front of students, but in the family behave naturally. March to take out the garbage until you get hit on a stupid bald head. In other words, a person who has lost modesty suffers a fiasco in life.

An example of modesty and at the same time a true scientist was Michael Faraday. He never aspired to wealth or honors, but for his services he was elected an honorary member of more than seventy scientific societies and academies. His work marked the beginning new era in physics, and he did not take a patent for his inventions, repeatedly refusing profitable positions that promised him fabulous incomes. He also refused the nobility, saying at the same time: "Thank you, but I want to be called simply - Michael Faraday."

When a person's mind is polluted by egoism, he is unable to convey his thoughts and knowledge to other people. As the great director K. S. Stanislavsky said: “I don’t believe!” When a person is proud, he cannot explain anything to people. He is not understood. Paradox, there is a lot of knowledge, but no sense. Modesty is humble, it adds nothing of itself to the learned truth. If she made a scientific discovery, it will be an "added value" to the previous knowledge. The knowledge of modesty will be assimilated by people, for it comes from a pure unselfish mind. Modesty knows how to explain, because she is not nervous when a person does not understand, but continues to patiently state her point of view in a friendly manner.

A true scientist is modest and devoid of pride, he does not need honors and glory. For example, Pierre Curie and Marie Curie, when world recognition came to them, and did not think to enjoy fame, they were more worried that the provision of the laboratory by the state was delayed from year to year due to lack of money and bureaucratic delays. When the dean of the faculty natural sciences told Pierre that he wanted to introduce him to the order, the scientist replied: “Please, be kind enough to tell the minister that I have no need for the order, but I really need a laboratory.” And when in 1903 the Curies received from Royal Society gold medal, then they gave it to their little daughter as a toy. Scientists have not even patented their method of obtaining radium, believing that such a commercial approach to discovery is contrary to the spirit of science.

The ability of humility to listen and hear the other person is extremely important for relationships. If the spouses listen to each other's opinion, then the family is a single whole, which means that it is based on mutual respect. The egoist does not listen to anyone, and no one wants to listen to him. And how important it is for a politician to listen to other people's opinions, to understand and accept the point of view of their advisers.

The test of modesty is praise. Indiscretion, waiting for honors, blurs from praise, stands on a pedestal, bronzes before our eyes. She is not able to hide her reaction to praise, because she so wanted to amuse her pride. A flatterer will always find a corner in the soul of indiscretion. Modesty, on the contrary, is indifferent to praise.

If the vast majority of composers in their lives passionately sought fame, then Debussy - on the contrary. He had never been to the productions of his own operas in his life and rejected the fame that came to him at the end of his life. Well, about his music, he always modestly said: “If God did not love my music, I would not write it ...”

Humility is the opposite of arrogance. Have you ever heard of a modest insolent or impudent modesty? Of course not, because these are two different poles. These two qualities form the scale "Modesty - Insolence", on which a person is at a specific point. When modesty becomes the manifested side of the personality, we consider such a person modest. Humility is undoubtedly a quality of a saintly person. A common person- This is a fraction, in the numerator of which is modesty, and in the denominator - arrogance. Anatole France said: "Everything must be done in moderation, even in modesty." People heeded his advice, reducing the numerator to a minimum. A person goes to modesty consistently: “I am an immodest person. I'm probably a humble person. I am a very humble person. I am undoubtedly the humblest person. I ordinary person". Giuseppe Verdi once said: “When I was eighteen years old, I considered myself great and said:“ I am. When I was twenty-five years old, I began to say: "Me and Mozart."
When I turned forty, I said: "Mozart and me." Now I say: "Mozart". This is the way we go to modesty.

Real, not ostentatious modesty attracts wisdom . For example, a modest girl wants to get married. She will not dress flashy and behave arrogantly. She needs a responsible, reasonable guy who needs not an impudent painted doll, but a modest wife. Like attracts like. An impudent girl will attract the attention of men who are interested in her body, and not the inner world. Anyone who is interested in her mind is reasonable person, and the one who was attracted only by her body - we will not give him precise definition, and so it is clear. The price of such a marriage is a ruble per bundle on a market day. If a girl defiantly refuses attention (honor) to herself from the other sex, is this modesty or not? No. If she gladly accepts attention, is it modesty or not? Also no. If she does not pay attention to male views, is this modesty or not? Yes, this is modesty, it manifests itself inside a person, and not from outside. Modesty within oneself is inner purity and the ability to preserve and protect this purity. Modesty is the most powerful weapon women.

Between reasonableness and modesty there is directly proportional relationship . The mind of a modest person is not burdened with pride, so he sees objects outside world without prejudice and selfishness. Indiscretion has a "dirty" mind. Her ambitious ego turns true knowledge into false, seasoning them with a fair amount of selfishness. The mind of indiscretion is in ignorance, it is completely subject to the whims of an inflated ego.

Modesty not inclined to find flaws in other people . This is the fundamental property of this quality. Modesty justifies a person by thinking: “This is good man". If the flaw is on the surface, modesty says: “It's okay. Little nothings of life. I won’t leave you anyway, because you are good.” Why is this happening? From the fact that modesty has no envy of this person. One can envy the position of another person, the fact that he does not honor me. Envy causes irritation and anger at another person, forcing them to speak about him in black tones. If another person does not honor me, immodesty begins to condemn him, to gossip. She wants respect, but she is not respected. Then she begins to look for flaws in another person. In a word, envy is a sign of lack of modesty.

Modesty lives in harmony with its desires and capabilities, it not pretentious and reserved . She is disgusted by excesses, luxury and pernicious desire. Modesty, going into the store, will buy only what he planned. You can't distract her with any kind of bait. Indiscretion, full of lust, will buy both what is needed and what is not needed. Therefore, modesty will reach the material goal faster than indiscretion.

The external goal is achieved through the realization of the internal goal. What does it mean? Inner goal means to educate in oneself good qualities personality and then external goals are realized automatically. For example, a husband wants his wife and children to respect him. This is an external target. To force oneself to be respected, to give gifts, to reproach - all these are hopeless ways. In "Eugene Onegin" the uncle "forced to respect himself and could not invent better." In our times, they would say “gave oak”, “played in the box”, “glued flippers” or “thrown skates”. It is clear that this option does not suit him either. If he sets an internal goal - to become a responsible person and strives for this goal, the result will not be long in coming. Women respect responsibility in a man. Feeling the changes in the behavior of the father and husband, his relatives will change their attitude towards him for the better.

Modesty does not cultivate in itself the desire to master something as quickly as possible. material world. Her motto is everything has its time. The unpretentiousness of modesty means to respect the passage of time. She knows that she will have everything in time. “You don’t have to jump out of your pants, so you won’t achieve your goal, I will get everything I deserve,” modesty is sure. Do your job well out of a sense of duty, and the result will come. Therefore, modesty is appeased. She realizes that she needs external purchases as a means to an end. If they are in this moment she can’t afford it, which means she has a different goal. Calmly perceiving this givenness, modesty, at the same time, realizes that she has a different purpose, God has other plans for her. She understands that she has a different happiness, it does not need to be anticipated, it comes from within, not from outside. It does not attach excessive importance to the objects of the external world, so its goals are achieved easily and simply. Indiscretion, striving for the fulfillment of his desires, will spend all his nervous resources, get a heart attack ten times, ruin relations with loved ones, but he will not achieve his goal. Greed hastens indiscretion: “What is the right time for everything? Get it quick."

Modesty is sincerely interested in others, respects the norms of morality and morality accepted in society. It gives freedom from vanity, provides an opportunity to learn from others, adopting their virtues.

For a modest person, one more thing is characteristic positive quality- he not intrusive in communication . If he sees that someone, communicating with him, is not satisfied, he will try to get away from contact. Modesty does not disturb other people by their behavior. Modesty should not be confused with being downtrodden and soft-bodied. On modesty “you won’t ride”, “you won’t sit on her head”. Humility is first and foremost developed self-esteem. Downtroddenness arises from the fear of losing a husband, a job, that others will treat her badly. Modesty cannot be picked up for anything, you can’t sit on her neck, she has her own goal and therefore she can always politely refuse. She will not do anything that disrupts her movement towards her goal. In achieving the goal, modesty shows self-esteem.

Petr Kovalev 2013

• Modesty gives freedom - from self-confidence and vanity.
• Modesty makes it possible to learn from the people around you, adopting their best qualities.
• Modesty provides independence - from excessive comfort and luxury.
• Humility provides an incentive - to achieve more; a humble person believes that before people appreciate him as a person, he must achieve results in his business.

Humility in everyday life

• Hearing. A person who loves and knows how to listen with sincere interest to the interlocutor is modest.
• Concessions. Yielding in ordinary everyday situations, a person shows modesty and respect for others.
• Charity. A person who does charity work and does not advertise it demonstrates a number of virtues; modesty is one of them.
• family education. Raising in the child a sincere interest in the people around them, and suppressing manifestations of selfishness, parents bring up modesty in him.

How to achieve modesty

• Modesty is largely the result of upbringing and the result of inner work person above him. Modesty is controlled by a person, and it can be cultivated in oneself, avoiding vanity in every possible way.
• Relations with relatives. Showing respect and reverence for elders, interest in equals and concern for younger ones, a person develops modesty in himself.
• Interest in the people around you. A modest person is sincerely interested in others; each of them has something to learn. Being interested in people and not sticking out his own “I”, a person learns modesty.
• Help for those in need. Helping those who need it, and not expecting return in the form of glory, a person shows modesty.
• Indulgence for mistakes. A modest person does not boast of education and does not point out to others their miscalculations; whether it be ignorance of some literary quotation or the wrong choice of cutlery for eating fish.

Golden mean

Vanity, arrogance | complete absence modesty

Modesty

Self-deprecation | absolute modesty, the flip side of pride

Popular expressions about modesty

Excessive modesty is nothing but hidden pride. - A. Chenier - In 1969 I published a small book on modesty. This pioneering work, as far as I know, has remained unsurpassed. - Lord Longford - One must beware of bringing modesty to the point of humiliation. - A. Bakikhanov - Achieve modesty if you want to achieve wisdom. Increase modesty if you have already attained wisdom. - E.P. Blavatsky - Be modest - this is the kind of pride that irritates others least of all. - Jules Renard - Reverend Macarius of Optina / Letters of St. Macarius of Optina. About humility, self-reproach and patience of sorrows The Monk Optina Elder Macarius during his lifetime was an example of special modesty and humility. And his letters to the laity are imbued with the same spirit of acquiring true Christian virtues. Fedor Dostoevsky / poor people Dostoevsky's novel "Poor People" is interesting not so much for its social pathos, but for the vivid image of the modest official Makar Devushkin, which the author managed to reveal in all the beauty and nobility of his soul, using the form of correspondence between the hero and his beloved.

Modesty suits everyone; A modest person does not appreciate his own merits (Dal's Dictionary). Modesty in communication is expressed in the absence of boasting, swagger, in restraint of expressions, judgments, in rare requests, and requests should be of a moderate nature. Pleasant or flattering words must also be answered culturally and, accordingly, if you can, then unconventionally. So, an enthusiastic statement about the qualities of your mind, your soul can be answered with the words of a character from a French film: “Thank you. The compliment, though undeserved, but pleasant. It can be simpler: “I’m afraid that it only seemed so to you”, “I don’t know how true it is”, “What a pity that this is not true!”, “This, of course, is an exaggeration!” “It’s hard for me to believe it”, “I would like it to be as you said!”. In any response to praise, modesty must be shown.

If speeches are made in your honor on the occasion of your birthday, etc., then, taking the floor after all the greetings, thank everyone at once for the kind and nice words, hint that you are hardly worthy of all the praises that have sounded (“ritual” moment of modesty) and be sure to say something pleasant about the audience: that you are glad to see them all on this important day for you, that they made it unique, unforgettable with their presence , and you - happy, etc.

Do you want to be well spoken of? Do not say good things about yourself (B. Pascal).

Modesty

from Krom "border", cf. edge; literally meant "limitation") - moderation in all desires, meekness and undemanding towards oneself, arrogance, lack of boastfulness. A possible manifestation is a quiet voice, restrained body movements, sitting on the edge of a chair. The typical response is positive.

Modesty in general is the fear that we will not please others, and blushing for our imperfection (H. Ellis, Studies in Sexual Psychology).

Modesty is a sign of sexual emotion, an expression of the female sexual erotic impulse (ibid.).

AT Ancient Greece out of modesty, some women bathed in their clothes. In Western European painting, modesty was depicted as a young woman dressed in white and covered with a veil, without any. jewelry other than their own hair; her eyes are fixed on the ground, and her clothes cover her entirely. Wed shyness, shyness.

modesty, modesty, pl. no, female 1. distraction noun to humble. Modesty of temper. modesty behavior. Earning modesty. 2. Modest behavior, a modest way of acting and thinking. "... Not arrogance, but modesty adorns the Bolshevik." Stalin ... ... Dictionary Ushakov

This is a way to hear from others all the good things that we think about ourselves. Lawrence Peter best decoration girls modesty and transparent dress. Evgeny Schwartz People who are unremarkable, of course, are right in preaching modesty. They are so easy... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms

Cm … Synonym dictionary

modesty- Modesty suits everyone; A modest person does not appreciate his own merits (Dal's Dictionary). Modesty in communication is expressed in the absence of boasting, swagger, in restraint of expressions, judgments, in rare requests, and requests ... ... culture speech communication: Ethics. Pragmatics. Psychology

modesty- MODESTY, artlessness, artlessness, unpretentiousness, unpretentiousness, simplicity modest, unsophisticated, unwise, unpretentious, unpretentious, simple, simple, uncomplicated. simple MODEST, ... ... Dictionary-thesaurus of synonyms of Russian speech

MODEST, oh, oh; me, me, me, mnshy and me. Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

modesty- Modesty decorates, but leaves hungry ... Original dictionary selection of aphorisms

modesty- great modesty excessive modesty exceptional modesty extraordinary modesty amazing modesty rare modesty amazing modesty ... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

Modesty- (from Krom “border”, cf. edge; literally meant “limitation”) - moderation in all desires, meekness and undemanding towards oneself, arrogance, lack of boastfulness. A possible manifestation is a quiet voice, restrained body movements, ... ... encyclopedic Dictionary in psychology and pedagogy

Books

• Modesty adorns millionaires, Pavlova Inna Vladimirovna. Love, death and money rule the world. In this on own experience I had to be convinced by an attractive Muscovite who imprudently decided to sunbathe at a prestigious resort. Such a vacation to the enemy ...
• Modesty and Vanity, Helen Brontë. Lauren Evans has already failed in love affairs when her own rival turned out to be a happy rival Native sister. Now the girl vowed that she would act smarter and would definitely get herself ...

Personality, which is expressed in the fact that a person comes into a state of extreme awkwardness from some life events. Characteristic features Modesty is a person's intense anxiety about what other people think of her. Such a person, most often, avoids talking about himself or does it very little. In a conversation with him, it seems that he puts the needs and needs of the interlocutor much higher than his own. We can say that this person cares too much about others, about what opinion is formed about him from the outside.

There is such a thing as false modesty. They talk about it when anxious feelings prevent a person from leading full life. Excessive modesty can significantly harm a person. Missed opportunities, constant stress, loss of interest in your favorite activities - these are the main consequences. That is why it is so important to learn to separate all kinds of fears from your own personality, to allow your inner content to manifest itself in the outside world.

Reasons for modesty

The concept of modesty originates from childhood. If a child is constantly pulled up, not allowed to realize his dreams, scolded for the manifestation of a bright personality, then he will not form the habit of realizing his goals. But it is so important in our life to be able to express our desires, to know what you want to achieve as a result of certain efforts. A modest person will hardly allow himself to somehow stand out from the crowd, and this is extremely necessary if we are talking about a mature, accomplished person.

You should never interfere with the new beginnings of the child, tell him that nothing will come of a new venture or idea. Children are extremely sensitive to various remarks, so words should be chosen with caution and common sense.

Character trait - modesty

What is a humble person? Probably, he often lowers his eyes, is embarrassed to utter an extra word in front of outsiders, evaluates very low own possibilities. In fact, such an attitude towards oneself cannot be called adequate, because it does not take into account individual abilities and talents, which, no doubt, each of us possesses.

You need to understand that modesty blocks a person’s capabilities, makes him keep perspectives in himself. It is certainly convenient for people around to be close to a modest person. He does not cause inconvenience, does not bother with questions, as a rule, is very delicate in communication. But you need to understand that modesty harms the personality itself, does not allow it to be itself, to develop its own capabilities. Such behavior can lead to very sad results, when talents and abilities are hidden inside and will not find an outlet in the world.

The modesty of a woman

Women's modesty at all times was considered a synonym for humility and easy character. It is believed that natural delicacy, unwillingness to interfere in the lives of others, is characteristic of the fairer sex. There is a widespread opinion that modesty, to one degree or another, adorns a woman. She becomes soft, pliable, pleasant, does not contradict anyone. Meanwhile, not all women who express obvious modesty in communication really agree with everything that others say. It's just that these women, for one reason or another, have a strong fear of being misunderstood and offended. They do their best to hide their own position, so that, looking at them, it is sometimes impossible to imagine what they really think. modest women, as a rule, underestimate themselves, and therefore are often forced to play other people's roles in society.

How to overcome modesty?

Those who want to get rid of the habit of living on the needs and desires of other people need to readjust their own perception of reality. It is important to learn to look at things differently, at life around. It should be remembered that excessive modesty, shyness always harm the development of the individual. In other words, we can say that modesty is synonymous with self-doubt ( read article about). Below are helpful tips to help minimize modesty.

So modesty is not so much natural quality a person, how much a habit to act and behave in society in a certain way. Of course, it needs to be corrected, so that the person begins to realize his own value and significance.