Psychological consultation and psychotherapy
The arrival of the next round date at the age of each person can “give” him a roommate, whom few people are happy about, and he is called age-related. Moreover, throughout life path there may be several of them.
Age-related personality crisis
The main characteristic of any crisis of this type is psychological changes. The main reasons why you experience them are changes in the social situations that you are accustomed to encounter on a daily basis. In addition, it occurs when you, albeit unconsciously, reconsider existing social roles (the emergence of additional responsibility, a change marital status, new social status, etc.)
Often, the root cause of age-related crises in a person’s life is cognitive dissonance (what you want cannot be achieved as a result of the lack of the necessary opportunities).
The most surprising thing is that if a woman is engaged in what is typical for men (business, political affairs), the course of age-related crises will have many similarities with men’s. By the way, the latter is characterized by:
- revision life values;
- frequent changes in career and life.
Age crises in women
Age crises in men
- The crisis of 21-23 years is associated with life goals that are not always comparable with existing opportunities. In addition, the young man strives to prove, both to himself and to others, that he is a self-sufficient person.
- 28-30 years is the period of transition to the mature stage of life. The man realizes that everything he dreamed of 10 years ago is unlikely to succeed. It is possible that, in order to add variety to everyday life, he will seek sexual satisfaction on the side.
- 38-40 years old bring to men the terrible thought of approaching old age. A man strives to always be busy with his favorite things. There are also hormonal imbalances associated with testosterone. This can cause problems in intimate life his family. During this period, men, more than ever, need the advice of their wives who love them.
The expression “midlife crisis” is heard by many. Everyone is especially concerned about its manifestation in representatives of the stronger sex, because the signs of a midlife crisis in men are usually expressed more clearly than in women. However, this crisis is only one of many. What exactly are developmental crises?
Turning points in a child's life
Let's start with the fact that the age crisis is a normal phenomenon in a person's life. Each person goes through several such periods, and it is believed that the first begins already at the moment when the baby is born.
However, if we remember that the Greek word κρίσις is translated as “turning point”, “turning point”, everything falls into place. Perhaps never again does the human body experience a stronger shock than at birth, when it has to as soon as possible adapt to new conditions of existence.
Then age-related crises in children replace each other until adolescence.
- Crisis of one year (lasts from nine months to one and a half years).
- Three years (from two and a half to four years).
- Seven years old (about six to eight years old, with the start of school).
- Puberty (approximately 11-15 years).
As the clarifications in parentheses indicate, the names of crises are largely arbitrary and only approximately indicate the age at which they occur. Each child develops individually, and for some the time of psychological adjustment may begin earlier than for others, for others it is the other way around.
The child strives for greater independence, new impressions and their verbal expression, and all this spills out in capriciousness, disobedience, and constant demand for attention. Parents should try to remain calm and redirect the baby’s energy “in a peaceful direction.”
The peculiarities of the next crisis are that the child is psychologically separated from his parents, recognizes himself as a separate person, but at the same time remains extremely dependent on his father and mother. In psychology, it is customary to identify clear symptoms of this crisis:
- Negativism, that is, the desire to do the opposite, and not as the adult asks.
- Obstinacy is a rejection of the rules of education in general.
- Stubbornness, manifested in an absurd desire to do things in one’s own way, and not as parents or teachers advise.
- Devaluation: Everything that was once an object of love or affection seems to become completely irrelevant. Devaluation concerns both objects (for example, previously favorite toys) and people (the child no longer sees authority in the parents).
- Protest-rebellion is expressed in the child’s aggressiveness and constant conflicts, seemingly out of the blue.
- Self-will is the denial of help (including when there is a real need for it), the desire to do everything yourself.
- Despotism - the child tries by all means available to him to manipulate family members.
What should parents do? The recommendations are approximately the same as in the first crisis period: remain patient, allow independence when appropriate, praise for successes, try to teach social norms in a playful way.
The crisis is expressed primarily in the desire to copy the behavior of adults, antics: psychologists call this period a time of loss of spontaneity and naivety. It can also manifest itself in moodiness, aggressiveness, and increased fatigue. The crisis stage will be easier if you ensure the correct psychological preparation to school.
Perhaps a separate book could be written about the problems of adolescence. The duration of this crisis is longer, and it is more painful than the previous ones. But you can also cope with it if you learn to build relationships with your son or daughter in a new way.
The main thing that parents should remember (and how to console themselves when it seems that the child has become completely unbearable): such “ difficult periods“Developmental psychology considers it as a natural physiological phenomenon that means development and movement forward - the child realizes himself in a new status and learns to build new relationships with the world and himself.
Adulthood and its turning points
The time frame for crises that occur in adulthood is much more blurred. The same mid-life crisis: some attribute its onset to 35 years, others talk about 40-45 years.
In addition, changing reality dictates its conditions. For example, in lately The concept of a “quarter-life crisis,” which occurs at approximately 25 years of age, has become relevant (more often its manifestations are noticed by those who are slightly older: 27 or 28). What is the twenty-fifth anniversary crisis and what caused it?
Nowadays, people in general begin to feel like adults later than before, life expectancy has increased, and values and priorities have shifted. In addition, one cannot ignore the influence of the Internet: social media provide great opportunities create visibility for others successful life. And it’s hard not to start worrying and doubting yourself if peers report daily about their career or personal achievements, posting bright photos and collecting comments and likes.
What to do? First of all, try not to compare yourself with others, secondly, decide what goals and desires are truly yours, and not imposed by stereotypes, and move in this direction. Be prepared for mistakes and try to perceive them with a bit of irony.
The most difficult threshold
Finally, we come to probably the most troubling topic for mature people - the midlife crisis. This period is indeed fraught with serious psychological difficulties, especially for the male half of humanity. Why?
At the same time, the paradox is that such a “double load” modern woman may not save her from the crisis, but on the contrary, cause it. As psychologists say, a woman's midlife crisis arises either because her career has been successful, but her personal life has not, or in the exact opposite situation.
Also important is the fact that at 35-40 years old a woman encounters the first signs of aging and most often reacts very painfully to this, because the stereotype about the attractiveness of youth and the ugliness of old age, in spite of everything, is still very tenacious.
Thus, a modern forty-year-old woman has much more reasons for worries and problems than a man, but they still write and talk mainly about the male aspect of this problem: when does a midlife crisis occur in men, how long does a midlife crisis last in men? ...
How to overcome a midlife crisis? For both men and women, the main advice will be this: try to think not about what will no longer happen in life, but about those interesting moments that are yet to be experienced.
And to ensure that there is definitely an abundance of them, find yourself a hobby, take up a new business, or finally go on a vacation that you have long dreamed of. This all sounds quite banal, but it actually works. And of course, it is important that your loved ones support you.
Therefore, if a wife or husband is having a midlife crisis, the partner should (although this is very difficult) show restraint. Don't blame, don't accept him or her Bad mood at your own expense, but try to find positive points even in this difficult situation.
After forty
Finally, the last age crisis is associated with retirement. Its appearance is usually caused by the inadequacy of the remaining resources and the forced abandonment of labor activity. The aging of the body accelerates, and the fear of death is felt.
No matter how global the problems that weigh down during the age crisis may seem, remember: this is a temporary phenomenon. Crises can and must be fought! Take them as a step towards personal growth and gaining new knowledge about yourself, which will help you get even more pleasure from life in the future. Author: Evgenia Bessonova
Age crises [Greek. krisis - decision, turning point] - special, relatively short-term periods of transition in age development to a new qualitatively specific stage, characterized by sharp psychological changes. Age-related crises are caused primarily by the destruction of the usual social development situation and the emergence of another, which is more consistent with the new level psychological development person.
The form, duration and severity of age-related crises can vary markedly depending on the individual typological characteristics of a person, social and microsocial conditions, characteristics of upbringing in the family, pedagogical system generally. Each age crisis is a change in a person’s worldview and a change in his status in relation to both society and himself. Learning to perceive yourself, the new one, from a positive point of view is the main thing that will help you overcome the psychological difficulties of age-related crises.
Periods of age-related crises in childhood are characterized by processes of transition to a new type of relationship between children and adults, which takes into account the child’s new, increased capabilities, changes in the “social situation of development,” a change in activity, and a restructuring of the entire structure of the child’s consciousness. The processes of children's transition to a new age level are associated with the resolution of often very acute contradictions between their previously established forms of relationships with people around them, on the one hand, and their increased physical and psychological capabilities and aspirations, on the other. Negativism, stubbornness, capriciousness, a state of increased conflict and other negative behavioral manifestations characteristic of age-related crises are exacerbated if adults ignore the child’s new needs in the sphere of communication and activity and, on the contrary, are mitigated with proper upbringing. Children's age-related crises include the crisis of the first year of life, the crisis of three years, the crisis of seven years and the teenage crisis (11-12 years).
Age-related crises in mature periods of life and old age have been significantly less studied. It is known that such turning points occur noticeably less frequently than in childhood, and, as a rule, occur more hiddenly, without pronounced changes in behavior. The processes of restructuring the semantic structures of consciousness and reorientation to new life tasks occurring at this time, leading to a change in the nature of activity and relationships, have a profound impact on the further course of personal development. This is an age crisis during adolescence - approximately 16-20 years old. When a person is already formally considered an adult. Moreover, he considers himself an adult, and accordingly tries to prove it to himself and to the rest of the world. In addition, this is a time of real, adult responsibility: the army, the first job, the university, perhaps the first marriage. Parents no longer stand behind them, and a truly independent life begins, imbued with numerous hopes for the future. The next age crisis occurs around the age of thirty. The first rush of youth is already behind us, a person evaluates what he has done and looks into the future much more soberly. He begins to want peace and stability. Many at this age begin to “make a career,” others, on the contrary, devote more time to their family in the hope of finding some “meaning in life,” something that would seriously occupy their mind and heart. Next, the age crisis occurs at 40-45 years. A person sees old age ahead, and behind it the worst thing - death. The body loses strength and beauty, wrinkles appear, gray hair, overcome by illness. The time is coming for the first battle with old age, the time when they either fall into love affairs, then throw themselves into work, or begin to do extreme things like skydiving or climbing Everest. During this period, some seek salvation in religion, others in various philosophies, while others, on the contrary, become more cynical and angrier. The next age crisis occurs at 60-70 years. During these years, a person usually retires and has absolutely no idea what to do with himself. In addition, health is no longer the same, old friends are far away, and some may not be alive, the children have grown up and have been living their own lives for a long time, even if in the same house with their parents. A person suddenly realizes that life is coming to an end and he is no longer in the center of its cycle, that his life is ending. He feels lost, may become depressed, and lose interest in life.
Age crises accompany a person throughout his life. For some they go smoothly, for others it’s time to almost hang themselves. Age crises are natural and necessary for development. A more realistic life position that arises as a result of age-related crises helps a person find a new, relatively stable form of relationship with the outside world.
Life and age crises
Crises mental development, age-related and life crises are widely represented in a variety of psychological studies.
Age crises[Greek krisis - decision, turning point] - special, relatively short-term periods of transition in age development to a new qualitatively specific stage, characterized by sharp psychological changes.
The gap, the contradiction between the actual and potential forms of coexistence, creates, according to various scientists, the phenomenon of crisis, when a child, a youth, an adult strives for something, without knowing what their heart desires.
Age crises accompany a person throughout his life. For some they go smoothly, for others it’s time to almost hang themselves. The form, duration and severity of crises can vary depending on the individual characteristics of a person, social conditions, and the characteristics of upbringing in the family. Age-related crises are natural and necessary for development. The more realistic life position that arises as a result of such crises helps a person find a new, relatively stable form of relationship with the outside world.
Life crises are the subject of close attention of psychologists. Sharing human life into periods, stages, they pay attention to the difficulties of transition from one stage to another. At the same time, the features of crisis phenomena in women and men are emphasized, and the factors that initiate crises are analyzed. Depending on their scientific orientation, some researchers see the causes of crises in biological development people pay attention to sexual changes, others higher value give socialization to the individual, others - to spiritual, moral formation.
Children's age-related crises include the crisis of the first year of life, the crisis of three years, the crisis of seven years and the teenage crisis (11-12 years).
The transition period between infancy and early childhood is usually called the 1 year crisis. Like any crisis, it is associated with a surge of independence and the emergence of affective reactions. Affective outbursts in a child usually occur when adults do not understand his desires, his words, his gestures and facial expressions, or understand, but do not do what he wants. Since the child is already walking or actively crawling around the house, at this time the range of objects within his reach increases sharply. Adults are forced to remove sharp things, close electrical sockets, place electrical appliances, dishes and books higher. Not all of a child’s wishes are fulfilled because his actions may cause harm to himself or others. Of course, the child was familiar with the word “impossible” before, but during a crisis period it becomes especially relevant.
Affective reactions to the next “no” or “no” can reach significant strength; Some children scream shrilly, fall to the floor, and hit it with their hands and feet. Most often, the appearance of strong affects in a child is associated with a certain style of upbringing in the family. This is either excessive pressure, which does not allow even small manifestations of independence, or inconsistency in the demands of adults, when today it is possible, but tomorrow it is not possible, or it is possible with grandma, but under no circumstances with dad. Establishing a new relationship with the child, giving him some independence, i.e. greater freedom of action within acceptable limits; finally, the patience and endurance of close adults soften the crisis and help the child get rid of acute emotional reactions.
The main acquisition of the transition period is a kind of children's speech called L.S. Vygotsky autonomous. Children's words sometimes resemble "adults" in their sound, sometimes they are sharply different from them. There are words that are not similar to the corresponding words of adults (for example, “ika” - closet, “giligilicha” - pencil), words - fragments of words of adults (“how” - porridge, “pa” - fell), words - distortions of the words of adults, preserving, however, their phonetic and rhythmic pattern ("titi" - clock, "ninyanya" - no need), onomatopoeic words ("av-av" - dog, "mu-mu" - cow).
A small child puts a completely different meaning into a word than an adult, since he has not yet developed our “adult” concepts. For us, a word is most often associated with a certain group of objects that are identical in some significant, usually functional, way. So, a “clock” is a thing with which we determine time. All the clocks that we denote by one word have this objective meaning - both large and small, round and square, hand-held, and wall clocks with a pendulum. A child cannot generalize objects like that. He has his own logic, and his words become ambiguous and situational.
Crisis 3 years- the border between early and preschool childhood is one of the most difficult moments in a child’s life. This is destruction, revision old system social relations, the crisis of separating one's self. The child, separating from adults, tries to establish new, deeper relationships with them.
Changing the child’s position, increasing his independence and activity, require timely restructuring from close adults. If new relationships with the child do not develop, his initiative is not encouraged, independence is constantly limited, and the child experiences actual crisis phenomena that manifest themselves in relationships with adults (and never with peers). The psychological literature describes 7 characteristics of a 3-year crisis. The first of them is negativism.
The child gives a negative reaction not to the action itself, which he refuses to perform, but to the adult’s demand or request. He doesn't do something just because a certain adult suggested it to him. In general, negativism is selective: the child ignores the demands of one family member or one teacher, but is quite obedient with others. The main motive for action is to do the opposite, i.e. exactly the opposite of what he was told.
At first glance, it seems that a naughty child of any age behaves this way. But with ordinary disobedience, he doesn’t do something because that’s what he doesn’t want to do - return home from the street, brush his teeth or go to bed on time. If you offer him another activity that is interesting and enjoyable for him, he will immediately agree. With negativism, events develop differently.
Here are examples of negativism from the experience of practical psychologists: a boy with a protracted crisis decided to draw, but instead of the expected refusal, he received the approval of his parents. On the one hand, he wants to draw, on the other hand, he wants to do the opposite even more. The boy found a way out of this difficult situation: bursting into tears, he demanded that he be prohibited from drawing. After fulfilling this wish, he happily began to draw. Another child read “in reverse” the famous lines of Pushkin: “And not in the blue, and not in the waves, and not in the ocean, and not in the stars, and not in the sky.”
At the age of 3, the child first becomes able to act contrary to his immediate desire. The child’s behavior is determined not by this desire, but by the relationship with another, adult person. The motive for behavior is already outside the situation given to the child.
The second characteristic of the 3-year crisis is stubbornness. This is the reaction of a child who insists on something not because he really wants it, but because he himself told adults about it and demands that his opinion be taken into account. His initial decision determines his entire behavior, and the child cannot refuse this decision even under changed circumstances. Stubbornness is not the persistence with which a child achieves what he wants. A stubborn child insists on something he doesn’t want very much, or doesn’t want at all, or has long since stopped wanting. Let's say a child is called home and he refuses to leave the street. Having declared that he will ride a bicycle, he will indeed continue to circle around the yard, no matter what he is tempted with (a toy, dessert, guests), although with a completely sad look.
During the transition period, obstinacy may appear. It is directed not against a specific adult, but against the entire prevailing early childhood systems of relationships, against the norms of upbringing accepted in the family. The child strives to insist on his desires and is dissatisfied with everything that others offer him and do. "Come on!" - the most common reaction in such cases.
Of course, the tendency towards independence is clearly manifested: the child wants to do everything and decide for himself. In principle, this is a positive phenomenon, but during a crisis, an exaggerated tendency towards independence leads to self-will; it is often inadequate to the child’s capabilities and causes additional conflicts with adults.
For some children, conflicts with their parents become regular; they seem to be constantly at war with adults. In these cases they talk about protest-rebellion. In a family with an only child, despotism may appear. The child harshly demonstrates his power over the adults around him, dictating what he will eat and what he will not eat, whether his mother can leave home or not, etc. If there are several children in a family, instead of despotism, jealousy usually arises: the same tendency to power here acts as a source of a jealous, intolerant attitude towards other children who have almost no rights in the family, from the point of view of the young despot.
Interesting characteristic crisis of 3 years, which will be characteristic of all subsequent transition periods- depreciation. What is devalued in the eyes of a child? What was familiar, interesting, and dear before, a 3-year-old child may begin to swear (old rules of behavior are devalued), throw away or even break a favorite toy offered at the wrong time (old attachments to things are devalued), etc.
All these phenomena indicate that the child’s attitude towards other people and towards himself is changing. He is psychologically separated from close adults. This is an important stage in the emancipation of the child; no less stormy stage awaits him in the future - in adolescence.
Regardless of when a child starts school, at 6 or 7 years old, at some point in his development he goes through a crisis. This fracture may begin at age 7, or may shift by age 6 or 8.
Crisis 7 years- this is the child’s experience of the system of relationships in which he is included. The perception of one’s place in the system of relations has changed, which means that the social situation of development is changing, and the child finds himself on the border of a new age period.
At the age of 7, a child comes to understand his place in the world public relations. He discovers the meaning of a new social position - the position of a schoolchild, associated with the fulfillment of a task highly valued by adults. academic work. And even though the child’s desire to take this new place in life did not appear at the very beginning of his education, but a year later, still the formation of an appropriate internal position radically changes his self-awareness.
A change in self-awareness leads to a reassessment of values. What was important before becomes secondary. Old interests and motives lose their motivating power and are replaced by new ones. Everything that is related to educational activities (primarily grades) turns out to be valuable, everything related to the game is less important. A little schoolchild plays with enthusiasm and will continue to play for a long time, but the game ceases to be the main content of his life.
The restructuring of the emotional and motivational sphere is not limited to the emergence of new motives and shifts and rearrangements in the child’s hierarchical motivational system. During a crisis period, profound changes occur in terms of experiences, prepared by the entire movement personal development in preschool age. At the end of preschool childhood, the child became aware of his experiences. Conscious experiences form stable affective complexes.
The individual emotions and feelings that the four-year-old child experienced were fleeting, situational, and did not leave a noticeable trace in his memory. The fact that he periodically encountered failures in some of his affairs or sometimes received unflattering comments about his appearance and felt sadness, resentment or annoyance about this did not affect the development of his personality. As is known, only a few preschoolers acquire high levels of anxiety and low self-image; for this to happen, the family must have special atmosphere dissatisfaction and high demands. And, on the contrary, in an atmosphere of praise and admiration, children grow up with self-esteem that is prohibitively high even for preschool age; there are few of them either. All these cases are the result of assimilation of the constantly repeated assessment of close adults, and not of a generalization of one’s own emotional experience.
During the crisis period of 7 years, it becomes clear that L.S. Vygotsky calls it generalization of experiences. A chain of failures or successes (in school, in general communication), each time experienced approximately equally by the child, leads to the formation of a stable affective complex - feelings of inferiority, humiliation, wounded pride or a sense of self-worth, competence, exclusivity. Of course, in the future these affective formations can change, even disappear, as experience of a different kind is accumulated. But some of them, reinforced by relevant events and assessments, will be recorded in the personality structure and influence the development of the child’s self-esteem and his level of aspirations. Thanks to the generalization of experiences, at the age of 7 the logic of feelings appears. Experiences acquire new meaning For the child, connections are established between them, and a struggle of experiences becomes possible.
This complication of the emotional and motivational sphere leads to the emergence inner life child. This is not a copy of his external life. Although external events, situations, and relationships constitute the content of experiences, they are refracted in a unique way in consciousness, and emotional ideas about them are formed depending on the logic of the child’s feelings, his level of aspirations, expectations, etc. For example, the same mark received in a lesson by different children will cause them to have a completely different emotional response: a “B” for one is a source of intense joy, for another - disappointment and resentment, is perceived by some as success, by others as failure. On the other hand, the inner life - the life of experiences - influences behavior and, thereby, to the external outline of events in which the child is actively involved.
The beginning of differentiation of the child's external and internal life is associated with a change in the structure of his behavior. It becomes possible to more or less adequately evaluate a future action from the point of view of its results and more distant consequences. But at the same time, this is also an emotional moment, since the personal meaning of the act is determined - its place in the child’s system of relationships with others, and probable feelings about changes in these relationships. Meaningful orientation in one’s own actions becomes an important aspect of inner life. At the same time, it eliminates the impulsiveness and spontaneity of the child’s behavior. Thanks to this mechanism, children's spontaneity is lost: the child thinks before acting, begins to hide his experiences and hesitations, and tries not to show others that he feels bad. The child is no longer the same externally as he is “internally,” although throughout his younger years school age There will still be a significant degree of openness, the desire to throw out all the emotions on children and close adults, to do what you really want.
A purely crisis manifestation of the differentiation between the external and internal lives of children usually becomes antics, mannerisms, and artificial tension in behavior. These external features just like the tendency to whims, affective reactions, conflicts, begin to disappear when the child emerges from the crisis and enters a new age.
Adolescence crisis is primarily associated with puberty and the restructuring of the child’s entire body. Sometimes the entire adolescence is called a “protracted crisis.”
In adolescence, the emotional background becomes uneven and unstable. The child is forced to constantly adapt to the physical and physiological changes occurring in his body, to experience the “hormonal storm” itself. Emotional instability increases the sexual arousal that accompanies the process of puberty. Most boys are becoming increasingly aware of the origins of this excitement. Girls have more individual differences: Some of them experience the same strong sexual sensations, but most experience more vague ones, related to the satisfaction of other needs (affection, love, support, self-esteem).
According to Western psychologists, the teenager is still bisexual. However, during this period, gender identification reaches a new, more high level. An orientation towards models of masculinity and femininity is clearly manifested in behavior and the manifestation of personal qualities. But a child can combine both traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine qualities. For example, girls planning for their future professional career, often have masculine character traits and interests, although at the same time they can also have purely feminine qualities. Thanks to the rapid growth and restructuring of the body, in adolescence, interest in one's appearance sharply increases. A new image of the physical “I” is formed. Because of its hypertrophied importance, the child acutely experiences all the flaws in appearance, real and imaginary. Disproportion of body parts, clumsiness of movements, irregularity of facial features, skin losing its childlike purity, excess weight or thinness - everything upsets, and sometimes leads to a feeling of inferiority, isolation, even neurosis. There are known cases of anorexia nervosa: girls, trying to become graceful like a fashion model, follow a strict diet, and then completely refuse food and bring themselves to complete physical exhaustion. Teenagers suffering from this peculiar disease are force-fed and treated in hospitals.
Severe emotional reactions to their appearance in adolescents are softened by warm, trusting relationships with close adults, who must show both understanding and tact. Conversely, a tactless remark that confirms the worst fears, a shout or irony that tears the child away from the mirror, aggravates pessimism and further neuroticizes.
The image of the physical “I” and self-awareness in general is influenced by the pace of puberty. Children with late maturation are at the least advantageous position; acceleration creates more favorable opportunities for personal development. Even girls from early physical development usually more confident and calmer (although the differences between girls are not too noticeable and the situation may change over time). For boys, the timing of their maturation is especially important. A physically more developed boy is stronger, more successful in sports and other activities, and more confident in relationships with peers. He treats himself as more mature. On the contrary, a boy with late maturation is more often treated like a child and, thereby, provokes his protest or irritation. Studies conducted by American psychologists show that such boys are less popular among their peers, they often become excitable, fussy, overly talkative, try to attract attention in every way and behave unnaturally, they often develop low self-esteem and a feeling of rejection.
At this age, a sense of adulthood appears, and parental authority is devalued. Frequent conflicts arise in the family; often the teenager reacts with protest to any attempts to interfere in his life. At this time, the child already wants everything at once. A person already sees the possibilities that are open to him, but in fact he still does not know how to control his behavior and desires, he is still a child. Needing parents, their love and care, their opinion, teenagers experience strong desire to be independent, equal in rights with adults.
How the relationship will develop during this difficult period for both parties depends mainly on the style of upbringing that has developed in the family, and the ability of the parents to rebuild - to accept the feelings of their child. The main difficulties in communication and conflicts arise due to parental control over the teenager’s behavior, studies, choice of friends, etc. Control can be fundamentally different. The most favorable style of family education is democratic, when parents do not infringe on the rights of the child, but at the same time demand the fulfillment of responsibilities; Control is based on warm feelings and reasonable concern. Overprotection, permissiveness, as well as indifference or authoritarian upbringing - all this hinders the successful development of a teenager’s personality. Conflicts arise when parents treat a teenager as small child and with inconsistency of demands, when he is expected to be either childish obedience or adult independence.
Much less studied age-related crises of mature periods of life and old age. They occur noticeably less frequently than in childhood, and, as a rule, occur more covertly, without pronounced changes in behavior. The processes of restructuring the semantic structures of consciousness and reorientation to new life tasks occurring at this time, leading to a change in the nature of activity and relationships, have a profound impact on the further course of personal development.
The first such crisis occurred around 16-20 years old. At this age, a person is already formally considered an adult. Moreover, he considers himself an adult, and accordingly tries to prove it to himself and the rest of the world. In addition, this is a time of real, adult responsibility: the army, the first job, the university, perhaps the first marriage. Parents no longer stand behind them, and a truly independent life begins, imbued with numerous hopes for the future.
The next age crisis occurs around thirtieth anniversary. At this time, a person evaluates what has been done and looks into the future much more soberly. He begins to want peace and stability. Many at this age begin to “make a career,” others, on the contrary, devote more time to their family in the hope of finding some “meaning in life,” something that would seriously occupy their mind and heart.
Next, the age crisis falls on 40-45 years. A person sees old age ahead, and behind it the worst thing - death. The body loses strength and beauty, wrinkles appear, gray hair appears, and diseases overcome. The time is coming for the first battle with old age, the time when they either fall into love affairs, then throw themselves into work, or begin to do extreme things like skydiving or climbing Everest. During this period, some seek salvation in religion, others in various philosophies, while others, on the contrary, become more cynical and angrier.
The next age crisis occurs in 60-70 years. During these years, a person, as a rule, retires and has absolutely no idea what to do with himself. In addition, health is no longer the same, old friends are far away, and some may not be alive, the children have grown up and have been living their own lives for a long time, even if in the same house with their parents. A person suddenly realizes that life is coming to an end and he is no longer in the center of its cycle, that his life is ending. He feels lost, may become depressed, and lose interest in life.