How to refuse a man is worthy of a phrase. What to do if the man was refused, and he was offended? Reasons for the lack of reciprocity

The ability to say “no” is just as important for a girl as mastering the basic skills of applying makeup, combining colors in a wardrobe, and preparing a more or less hearty dinner. And if you can still somehow manage without the latter, then, having no idea how to refuse a man and not ruin your relationship with him, you can seriously complicate your life.

Give a turn from the gate to the annoying passenger who sat down on the next seat in public transport- this is one thing, but refusing a date with the son of a mother's friend is already completely different. You can’t dismiss him like an annoying fly with a strong word or a magazine. You won’t get off at the next stop and disperse like ships at sea - you will meet again and again and have casual conversations about the weather. Classmates, classmates, work colleagues, neighbors and acquaintances - denying intimacy to these men, like it or not, but you have to show tact.

Not knowing how to politely refuse a man, women often make such mistakes. Source: Flickr (greta_marlene)

How not to refuse a man if you don’t want to ruin your relationship with him

1. Show intemperance and rudeness.

Of course, you are already tired of his obsessive attention and have every right to personal space. But any insolence is unacceptable. First, because you are a girl. Do not spoil your image in the eyes of other potential boyfriends. And, secondly, think about it: since he chose you to be the object of his adoration, then he has at least one quality that deserves due respect from you - good taste.

2. Get personal and focus on his shortcomings.

The fact of refusal in itself is a serious blow to self-esteem, which can discourage a guy from approaching girls for a long time. closer distance cannon shot. Therefore, do not exacerbate the situation and try to honestly explain what the matter is. Believe me, if this is not a narcissist in front of you, then he himself is well aware of his shortcomings.

3. Regret.

If you are dealing with an adequate and sane guy, then pity is the last thing he would like to read in your eyes. Trying to regret and console, you will only make it worse - his manhood will be trampled on.

Not knowing how to politely refuse a man, women often make such mistakes. After that, many of the object of sympathy turn into an object for mockery and ridicule. A wounded male ego is a serious enemy, so it is better not to fight with him.

How to mitigate rejection and get dry out of the water?

If you are worried about how to politely refuse a man, prepare phrases that will help steer the conversation in the right direction in advance. There can be many options here, the main thing is to follow the basic 3 principles:

1. Speak persuasively.

A frank conversation is, of course, not a business report, but any of your words should sound just as confident and clear. Often men do not accept refusal just because it sounds completely unconvincing.

It is interesting! Psychologists assure: the way we speak has a lot to do with it. greater value than what we're talking about. Verbally (that is, through words), the interlocutor perceives no more than 15% of the information. The remaining 85% are read through non-verbal signs - intonation, voice timbre, body position, facial expressions, gestures, etc.

It is very difficult to convince a guy that you are not on your way if you use all kinds of female tricks during a conversation. You don’t need to straighten your curls, cross your legs, show off your neck and wrists, play with a shoe - in this case, the boyfriend will certainly regard your “no” as “yes, but later.”

Another taboo is to invade the intimate zone of a man. No need to try to sweeten the pill with touches, hugs and friendly kisses. Before starting a conversation, make sure that the distance between you is at least 50 cm. Otherwise, on a subconscious level, your actions will be perceived by a man as a game of cat and mouse, and then do not expect him to leave you alone.

2. Don't feed on promises.

When choosing the right phrases before refusing a guy, immediately cross out sentences with something like this:

"I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet."
"Let's not now."
"Let's not rush things."
“Perhaps I will think about it,” etc.

It is unlikely that in this way it is possible to cool the feelings of a man in love, rather, on the contrary - these words will only provoke him. It is not easy to refuse, but by delaying the moment of truth, you will bring even more torment to both him and yourself. Do not know how to refuse a person without offending him? Be honest with him, at least as far as your real intentions are concerned. Lies for good this case- the worst that can be.

Try to be polite and sensitive, but at the same time categorical and inexorable - this is the only way you will be able to protect your personal space and not offend the guy. Source: Flickr (CEBImagery)

3. Provide a good reason.

The question of how to politely refuse a guy is easier to solve if you manage to argue your decision. Do not leave him at a loss and explain what the matter is, then you will have a much better chance of maintaining a friendly relationship. The main thing is that this reason should be:

respectful;
believable (banal excuses are no good if you really don’t want to offend him);
neutral (did not depend on him and had nothing to do with his personal qualities).

How to refuse a man so as not to offend him? Choose one of several options:

"I never have an affair at work, sorry, but it's a matter of principle."
"I'm sorry, but my heart is not free."
“You are really very good, but I only like calm homebodies, what can you do,” etc.

There can be any number of such reasons, it all depends on the specific situation. The main thing is that they correspond to all three parameters, which were discussed above.

Important! Psychologists know how to refuse a guy without offending him - start a phrase with a compliment. It must be sincere and touch any forte character, not appearance. So, one can note his courage, determination, determination, strength and assertiveness - in general, everything that can be considered a manifestation of masculinity.

Here is what you can say in response to a confession: “I am really amazed at your courage, not everyone can talk so openly about their feelings. Only for real strong men capable of doing such a thing. Sorry, but I already have a young man and I am sure that such a wonderful man like you will also soon have a worthy girlfriend.

How to deal with a rejected man after an awkward conversation?

As a rule, one episode of a showdown is enough for the guy to no longer return to this issue. But if you had to deal with a particularly persistent boyfriend, then you won’t be fed up with words alone - you will have to back them up with real actions. Here's what you can do to cool the ardor of an assertive gentleman and at the same time not ruin your relationship with him:

1. Ignore.

You've explained everything and you've been as accurate as possible. Now you are not responsible for his experiences. Do not try to be nice, fawn and try to compensate for his hurt feelings with your attention. Reduce your communication to a formal level. Be kind but detached.

2. Show your chosen one.

If you really have a young man, let him show himself to the eye of an admirer in love a couple of times. Everyone around should know that your heart is busy. If you don't have one yet, ask a close friend to play this honorary role. After all, it is one thing to impose your company on a defenseless girl, and quite another to risk facing an angry man one on one.

Feelings that we cannot reciprocate can bring a lot of unpleasant emotions. It is always a game on the edge, and when the cards are revealed, not everyone manages to save good relationship. Try to be polite and sensitive, but at the same time categorical and inexorable - this is the only way you will be able to protect your personal space and not offend the guy. Well, if nothing comes of it, and the relationship is completely ruined, don't worry too much. In the end, your own peace of mind is much more important than other people's fantasies.

How to correctly refuse intimacy and sex without offending a guy

The difficulty for polite young ladies is the task of how to deny a man intimacy and sex, while not offending him.

It happens that for the first time it is still far away, although the man insistently offers to go to the next step.

Then you should show delicacy and gently refuse the offer: simple tips from psychologists will help smooth out the guy’s resentment.

Note! Denial of sex is needed not only when a relationship is born. He is needed in a married couple when a woman is tired, but does not want to offend her husband.

Consider popular ways to refuse sex to the representatives of the stronger sex without affecting his feelings, preserving love:

Way	Description
Abstraction	A man came to his wife with an interesting request, but is she tired or wants to rest? No problem: order sushi, turn on football and distract your loved one from an annoying thought
Deposition	Cheating is unacceptable in this case. If sex was postponed until tomorrow, a man is waiting for him with great pleasure, so cheating will only destroy trust.
Replacement	Sexual intercourse is easily replaced by petting: this type of intimacy will allow you to watch your favorite TV series and bring a lot of pleasure to a young man
Talk	Refusal without motivation to a man who came to ask for intimacy will plunge him into rage and resentment. Start a heart-to-heart conversation: explain the reason for the refusal
No blackmail	Don't try to punish a man by not having sex. The approach brings a lot of negativity to the relationship between partners. Sex should be accompanied by love and desire. Scandals are superfluous here, it is better to follow the above tips and delicately refuse

How to maintain friendships and continue communication

Rejection is always accompanied by unpleasant experiences and negative consequences.

Every woman can prevent them by choosing the right strategy of behavior.

Effective advice from psychoanalysts will help maintain friendship and continue communication correctly:

Support. A close friend who has been rejected is likely to be in a depressed state. Despite this, it is necessary to constantly encourage a man.
If you specifically seek meetings, trying to console a friend, he will think that the girl has feelings for him.
It is enough to accept the communication of a young man, and continue to maintain friendly relations.
Common acquaintances. Most cases indicate that after the refusal, the guy and the girl still have common acquaintances and friends.
Meet in common companies, have fun, communicate. Then you should not cross the line and behave as if the refusal was not sincere.
Keep your distance. From the moment when the girl beautifully refused the young man, it is worth paying attention to behavior.
Notify the man that from now on communication will become friendly.
Abstract. Move on, because there are still many new acquaintances ahead.
Tact. Only adequate communication will help maintain friendly ties with a man. Self-analysis and digging in yourself are superfluous here - accept everything as it is and move on.
No flirting. Refuse to flirt in the direction of the young man, and if you notice that he himself wants to flirt, step back.
Lack of personal information. From now on, you should not devote a man to personal experiences and hardships. This will give him too much hope.

For a young man to be offended, it is enough to completely stop communicating with him. The approach promises trouble, but if it is the only way out, use it.

These tips will come in handy to refuse a date tactfully and not make an enemy.

Be honest and direct

Honesty is the best solution if you don't want to cause people unnecessary pain. First, you need to be honest with yourself. Everyone deserves a chance, but sometimes we just know things don't go right. If you do not feel any attraction, then it is better not to delay the rejection.

Secondly, you need to be honest with him. Do not invent too much, be kind and frank. If you're just not interested in that person, say so. You don't have to explain anything, but if you really have a reason why you can't or don't want to date at this time, state it clearly and concisely.

When we are talking about refusal, it is always better to be active rather than passive. Don't procrastinate by avoiding meetings or hoping your potential partner will take the hint. Deal with it as soon as you get the chance. Give a clear rejection so that both of you can move on.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated

A direct no can sound pretty harsh if you don't deliver it tactfully. You have no reason to be offended or disgusted (unless they are really intentionally aggressive and disgusting). It's flattering to like someone, so be polite and try to show a little appreciation. Remember the courage it takes to open up to another person.

Finally, don't talk about what happened. If you are in the same company with this person, do not tell anyone about what happened. If you turned someone down, they already feel rejected, no need to add embarrassment to this.

Focus on Yourself with “I” Affirmations

If you decide to explain to someone why you are not interested in him, try to focus the argument on yourself, and not on the interlocutor. Listing reasons why a potential partner is not worthy of you sounds rude and condescending, and besides, it can hurt the self-esteem of your interlocutor. Instead, psychologists advise using statements with "I", for example:

"I don't see you in that plan, I'm sorry."
"I really enjoy talking with you, but I don't feel a connection between us."
"I'm focused on myself right now, so I'm not interested in dating anyone."
"I think you're great, but I'm looking for something else right now."

So you do not put yourself above and do not belittle the interlocutor, but simply explain your point of view. Think of it as an early reasoning about "It's not about you, it's about me." Only in this case it is not as painful as when parting.

Show that your answer is complete

When you reject someone, do it kindly but firmly so that the other person understands that the answer is final. Don't keep people hooked. You may find it nice that you suggest "stay friends" or "get to know each other better for a start," but this will only give hope to your interlocutor, and you will get sideways.

After rejection, even a friendly call or message in social network can convince you that all is not lost and it is worth trying further. So do not give hope to a person if there is none. Offer to remain friends only if you have a strong belief that your interlocutor can sustain a relationship in this vein. Otherwise, he may think that your "no" means "not now" or "I need to be conquered first."

Wirth lovers: do not answer or formulate answers briefly

If most of your dating takes place online, then it may be more difficult for you to get rid of an obsessive admirer. Internet users have no idea who you are and usually get to know as many people as possible. Therefore, if a potential partner has not written something personal based on studying your profile, you can safely ignore it. Even answering something to a person that you definitely do not like, you again give false hope and drag yourself into a conversation that will only waste time.

If you still want to answer in order not to sound rude, then online dating experts (there are some!) Suggest phrases like this:

“I looked at your profile. I think you're cool, but I don't see us as a couple, so I don't think we should go on a date. I don't want us to waste each other's time."
“I've kind of got my eye on someone on the site already and I don't think it's fair to meet you while I'm trying to build a relationship with the other person. I hope you find the one you are looking for."

Take the initiative in your own hands if the interlocutor is too persistent

Sometimes you realize that you will refuse a person exactly at the moment when he speaks to you. Maybe he's being overly provocative or seems only interested in getting your phone number (you never know, suddenly collects them).

In this case, take the initiative in your own hands. If someone insistently asks for your number, say something along the lines of "Why don't you give me your number instead and I'll call you." Your interlocutor will feel that he has achieved his goal, and will leave you alone.

Often in the life of women there are situations when a married man begins to take care of them. If being a mistress is acceptable to you, then this article is not for you. We will try to highlight the topic of how you can beautifully refuse a man bound by marriage.

Reasons for refusal

If you are still puzzled over whether or not to have a close relationship with a married man, here are a few arguments in favor of why you should not take this desperate step:

Get ready to be #2. No matter what your gentleman says, no matter what praises you sing, he will spend all the main time with his wife. You will get only “minutes of happiness”, which can be snatched from case to case. All holidays and weekends he will be with his family, and you will remain alone and patiently wait until your chosen one deigns to appear. In addition, you are unlikely to be able to openly walk around the city and go to restaurants. In such relationships, meetings, as a rule, take place in the woman’s apartment or the gentleman specifically rents housing for this;
Mistress. As is known, public opinion extremely negatively evaluates love for a married man, so do not be surprised if you are elevated to the rank of a homeowner and family destroyer;
Be patient a little and I'll get divorced. Promises of this kind are a favorite mantra of married men who have relationships on the side. As a rule, this is limited to mere words, and it comes to action only in very rare cases. And in most cases, a man does not dare to leave his family, especially if there are children in it. And this promise serves more as an excuse to keep a girlfriend for secret meetings, and, as a rule, does not reach a divorce;
All good men married. This artificially created myth successfully exists among women who are a little over 30. For some reason, they decided that by this age men with good qualities already sorted out, and those who remained unmarried do not deserve attention. Therefore, women agree to the role of a mistress, if only the man is caring and successful. Let's dispel this misconception. There are quite attractive men around who are not yet married and can make a very good match. You just need to look for them a little or take a closer look at your surroundings. And to perceive the situation as hopelessness, and from this to become a lover - is not worth it, because you probably deserve better;
Take care of your nerves. When choosing a relationship with a married man, do not expect only pleasant romantic meetings, bright sex and gifts. reverse side medals here is permanent nervous tension and permanent jealousy. Yes, married people can lie, saying that his wife no longer means anything to him, their relationship has been eaten by life, and he is in the family only because of the children. But face it, he spends more time with his wife and he goes to bed with her at night. Think about it, are you ready to put up with it?

How to refuse a married man beautifully

Learn to say a firm "no" in a soft way. To succeed in this field, you will need to use all your skills of tact and gather courage into a fist. This will allow you to get away from evasions and get rid of the state of uncertainty.

No need to be rude to a man and say that you do not need him. The refusal should sound firm, but in a friendly way, so that his pride does not suffer. In a conversation, emphasize that this format of communication is unacceptable for you, and your position will not change over time.

If you come across an imposing admirer who loves to be in the spotlight, then use his "Achilles heel"For a beautiful refusal. Such men cannot be rudely rejected, otherwise it will be a personal disaster for him.

He must be showered with compliments, tell him how successful, interesting and versatile he is. developed person. It is advisable to do this in public so that not only your fan can hear it. As a rule, men of this type want to assert themselves and simply test their strength by seducing another woman.

Therefore, give him the desired recognition of his abilities, but only in a slightly different form, and he will remain satisfied, but to the denial of intimacy take it quite calmly. The main thing is to tell him about it face to face, so that there are no unnecessary witnesses and add a shade of regret in your voice, saying that you would like to, but you just can’t.

If you are faced with an energetic and assertive specimen, for whom only sexual victory is important, then it is necessary to act in a radically opposite way. Men of this type are characterized by a high temperament, they perceive a woman exclusively as a sexual object, and they are not at all concerned about her psycho-emotional state.

Their credo is animal sex and replenishment of the collection of sexual victories. With such instances, the conversation should be short. It is necessary to refuse directly, clearly and without unnecessary explanations. Do not be afraid to offend such a boyfriend, because he will not take your refusal to heart.

Such men do not differ in affection and do not experience deep romantic feelings, therefore, rejection will practically not upset them. Having received a lapel-turn, they will simply go in search of more pliable women who will reciprocate them.

And if you meet on your way a fan who is very persistent and threatens to use force if he refuses, then we recommend that you ring all the bells. To begin with, threaten in response that you have someone to protect you. Do it decisively and confidently. Do not be afraid. Indeed, on the part of a man, this may be a feigned assertiveness that he uses to manipulate you.

But it's better to play it safe in case the obsessive admirer does not stop, but continues his persecution. It's also a good idea to talk to friends beforehand, who you can turn to in an emergency. If the boyfriend knows where you live, try not to return home late alone, ask friends to walk you to the door.

And in no case do not let him into the apartment, even if he hysteria and beg. This is just a way to influence your emotions, nothing more. But we hope that such situations will bypass you and you will not have to resort to the last paragraph of the recommendations.

Don't give a reason

And one more piece of advice: so that the question of how to properly refuse a married man does not arise in the future - analyze your behavior. Perhaps you yourself, unwittingly, gave hope to the fan, and therefore he became more insistent in his proposals. Indeed, quite often there are cases when a married man is pleasant and attractive to women, and they broadcast this at the level of emotions and views.

At the same time, a woman is restrained by strict principles - not to have an affair with a gentleman who is tied by the knot. There is a situation called and want and prick". Thus, problems arise, for the solution of which we have to apply our advice in practice.

In a woman’s life, situations often arise that require her to be able to say “no”. Moreover, speak firmly, in a tone that does not tolerate objections, realizing your own decision as the only correct one in the circumstances.

Such a step is especially important on the part of the fairer sex, when the latter is subjected to the onslaught of an unsympathetic, even unpleasant man. In today's article, we bring to your attention practical advice, able to help properly and without serious consequences to refuse the gentleman further communication.

When you say “no,” stay friendly and as tactful as possible.

You understand that by refusing a man, one way or another, you still hurt his pride. Therefore, if you do not want to run into innocence in the form of insults and in some cases - guys are different - assault, discard rudeness and contempt.

Be decisive in this matter.

You do not need to commit violence against yourself, being in the company of a person unpleasant to you, to whom you experience indifference or, even more so, disgust throughout the evening.

Women make this mistake quite often if, for example, the acquaintance happened almost “blindly”: by phone or on the Internet. Better, finally seeing a man, having talked a little and not feeling the slightest interest in him, make it clear to the interlocutor that there will be no continuation. This is even more relevant in the case when a person is not liked already during the period of communication preceding a possible date.

You should not give a man false hopes.

Do not respond to a meeting proposal with phrases like “come on later,” “I can’t, I’m not ready yet,” “I’ll think about it,” “we’ll see,” etc., etc. Remember: by delaying the inevitable denouement, you create problems for yourself. It is better to put an end to this story in one fell swoop, without giving it further development.

Be sure to state the reason for the rejection.

The fan will certainly want to hear it, and he has the right to demand an explanation from you. Here you can turn on your fantasy: come up with a plausible reason, for example, “I already have a boyfriend”, “I basically don’t start office romances". By the way, do not be afraid to say directly that the man does not like. Just do it loyally, softly or by way of hints, half-joking (“only “nerds” in my taste) so as not to offend the annoying representative of the stronger sex.

It doesn't have to be a whole tirade.

The refusal should be extremely brief, but capacious and it is desirable not to cause additional questions.

Watch yourself from the side if the word “no” with all the accompanying phrases does not work on a man, and he continues to attack you.

Probably your speech and your behavior do not match. Most women flirt with members of the opposite sex unconsciously, without noticing it themselves. Flirting gestures include licking parted lips, a furtive glance from under your eyelashes, shaking your hair, winding a strand around your finger at the time of a conversation, a languid smile, bright color lipstick, etc.

If the fan is being overly persistent and all of the above suggestions have not worked, try the following steps:

Having refused once according to the rules, stop paying attention to the person at all. See through him as if the man were not there; do not answer questions and do not keep up the conversation when he starts a conversation with you; immerse yourself in a book (or pretend to) or put on your headphones. At the same time, keep an indifferent, even cold expression on your face. Such maneuvers are guaranteed to work, because it’s not in vain that they say: “He who kills with a word finishes with silence.”

Lie from three boxes to the importunate gentleman to yourself so that once and for all discourage him from pestering you. Tell him about your terrible addictions (“I drink, smoke, go to haunted places”), if the representative of the stronger sex gives the impression of an unspoiled, cultured intellectual, and, conversely, about your abstruse hobbies and interests (“I listen to Mozart, read Stendhal and Flaubert, I adore opera and avant-garde") in the case of a man belonging to the category of broken and narrow-minded subjects.

Go on a date.

Yes, yes, go to a meeting with a boyfriend, listen to his fiery requests! But become an artist for one evening: play the role of a girl who is far from the ideal of a fan. Put on what came to hand, give up makeup, do not build a chic hairstyle on your head, and at dinner start a conversation about your illnesses or about the coming apocalypse, and always in a mournful voice. You will not see an annoying fan again!

If a person is really in love with you, he will agree to this option. After all, the latter will allow a man to freely communicate with you, to recognize you. You will gain a faithful comrade who will console you in difficult times, and share your joy with you, and give practical advice. Gradually, you are likely to get used to this person, you will see him positive sides, you will feel sympathy for him, and maybe something more. Psychologists say: the strongest love (not falling in love!) Grows out of friendship. Good luck to you!

Refuse men like a noble lady

Hello dear girls! We all sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to say “no” to a person. The right words do not always come in time, and most often the refusal looks rude or unreasonable. Of course, it is impossible to prepare for any situation, but today I would like to talk with you about how to refuse a man with dignity. After all, by your refusal, you can not only lower his self-esteem, but also forever discourage the desire to approach girls.

To begin with, I propose to think about why you refuse. Quite often, I became a witness to situations when a girl says “no” with words, but shows “yes” with her whole appearance. Therefore, you must clearly understand why you want to reject this or that offer of a man, whether it is an invitation for a date or a conversation about intimacy.

I do not recommend you to play "impregnability". Girls think that the more you refuse a man, the more he will strive. If you say no for these reasons, then be extremely careful in your expressions.

First, not all guys take hints. Secondly, you may be considered frivolous or too flighty, because today you are not, but tomorrow you are. Especially do not get carried away with such tactics, being in a long relationship.

One of my acquaintances tried to refuse a married man an offer to meet, but all the time she was looking for an opportunity to see him and shoot her eyes. She just wanted to play a game of flirting with him. But the man did not understand why she refused him, and she herself constantly sends non-verbal signals.

If you decide to reject a man’s offer, then do it clearly, distinctly and accessible. Do not hesitate, do not fawn, and do not try to justify your refusal. But how to do it competently and beautifully, so as not to offend a man, we will now find out.

How do girls usually act? They just send them to hell, sometimes even rudely and uncivilized. If you do not want to seem tactless, then your refusal must necessarily contain a compliment to a man, not just his appearance, but masculine qualities.

If you don't know how to compliment guys, it's okay. Read the article “How to compliment a man” and you can always find the right words in any situation.

So, your refusal should consist of a compliment, a short explanation of your negative answer, and a supportive phrase. Let's take a look at an example.

For example, a guy came up to you on the street and offers to meet you.

The first option is to simply ignore him or say “I don’t see the point in communicating, goodbye.”
The second option: “You must be very brave, since you are not afraid to approach girls on the street. Sorry, but I already have a young man, but I am sure that such a brave and self-confident man will definitely succeed in finding a worthy girl.

Agree, the second option looks much more polite, tactful and correct. The guy realized that you were not ready to communicate with him, but he did not have self-doubt, he would not think that something was wrong with him.

So in sex, you also need to be able to refuse correctly so that there are no further problems. If you have a stranger in front of you, then the answer will be approximately the same as above: you are so straightforward and frank, but I only do this with my loved one, I have no doubt that such confident man can find what he is looking for.

Common Mistakes

Coarseness. This is the most common mistake girls make. Under no circumstances should you be rude, call names or get personal. No matter how hard it is for you to communicate with a person, even if he does not understand your refusals at all and continues to bother with his attention, never allow yourself to switch to insults.

Most likely, this is your first and last meeting, why make a scandal out of it? Try to remain polite and cultured in every situation. Remember that you can always resort to the help of humor. This is especially important when dealing with a loved one.

Blurring of the phrase. Sometimes girls find it difficult to immediately and directly refuse handsome guy, For example. Therefore, the girl does not say “no” directly, but beats around the bush. You need to be direct, specific and to the point. What do you want to say to a man: let's stay friends; I need a break now; we need to break up.

Try to speak directly. So, one of my girlfriends could not directly refuse a guy money. She could not say a clear “no”, so she kept coming up with some phrases.

Divergence of behavior and words. I spoke about this above. When a girl says "no", but with all her appearance continues to show interest in a man. Read the article Breaking Relationship with Your Lover. Of course, it's more about married women who decided to get distracted on the side, but for sure you will find many useful thoughts for yourself.

What does your rejection phrase usually look like? Have you ever heard a rejection?

I wish you patience and self-control in any situation.

5 reasons to refuse a married man

What to do if the chosen one is married? Leave as far as possible. And the point here is not in morality and human rumor, but in common sense and the notorious instinct of self-preservation.

Of course, we girls have the right to make mistakes and own choice, and also we all remember very well that you can’t command the heart ... However, the position of a healthy nervous system suggests the most the right decision regarding married men - refuse. And that's why:

He only thinks of himself.“We stole a few hours from life to spend them together. Just you and me, ”may sound romantic, but in practice it turns out to be quite traumatic, predictable and hopeless. "Don't use these strong spirits- the wife can smell. "Let's better to you, and not to a restaurant, so that no one, God forbid, sees." “I’ll bring you a gift for March 8 in a couple of days, okay?” "Don't be upset, baby, you yourself understand everything." Almost every married man repeats this "mantra" with various variations.

Further more. Over time your romantic evenings turn into listening to endless complaints about his wife and children, his mother-in-law and the unresolved housing problem. What kind of fireworks and magical sex are there when it is hard and hard for him, the unfortunate man? You have to listen and understand, so as not to injure once again the tender male soul, so pretty battered by a bitch wife and a cruel life. Are you also worried, interested and worried about something? “Be patient a little, baby, everything will be decided,” we hear in response. That's just decided most often in favor of legal marriage.

Always second. No matter how much your chosen one says that you are the first in his soul, but he goes to bed with her, spends the weekend with her, and her children bear his last name and call him dad. The facts are inexorable. And you get all sorts of nicknames a la “razluchnitsa”, “destroyer”, “bitch”, and, of course, “a decent woman would not do that”, “would be ashamed”, “what kind of upbringing” and “no conscience”.

Not all good men were taken apart before us. The truth is that married and unmarried men practically do not differ in merits and demerits, except that the former has a wife, and therefore additional responsibilities and chores. So before you rush into the abyss of empty promises and your own disappointments, take a closer look, perhaps among your entourage there is a young man without a ring on his finger who knows how to compliment, bring coffee to bed, give gifts and have intimate conversations. In addition, in such a relationship, there are much more chances of becoming the only woman for the beloved man. A significant plus.

Relations with a "married man" do not add health. In order to feel great, look and realize in life, a woman needs to sleep well, have a good rest, feel secure and confident. A married man cannot give it. A priori. Of course, the constant adrenaline rush from the tormenting questions “What if someone finds out?”, “What next?”, “When will it end?”, “Why doesn’t he call?” for a while they add shine to the eyes and increase activity. But not for long. This is followed by apathy, depression, insomnia and others. unpleasant symptoms, which clearly do not contribute to feeling full and happy.

Doubtful luck. Although psychologists and life experience show that men get divorced extremely rarely, but this happens. And this is where things get interesting. It turns out that the man had problems with his wife not only because she was a bitch and hysterical, she didn’t give life and married herself on a “flight”. It becomes obvious that our prince is a rather mundane creature who loves TV, beer, men's gatherings in bars and saunas, does not earn so much, and from this he pays a little alimony and a loan for a car. Only now the whole truth is being revealed: he has arthritis, an allergy to the sun and problems with erection. And the worst thing is that now you have to endure all this, understand and forgive. Why? Yes, because it is you with him true path shot down, taken away from the family, and now you owe him. In truth, one can doubt the need for such a "gift of fate."

So let the men live with those they married, out of the crisis family life come out of their own efforts, and not at the expense of the love and devotion of another woman. We will choose those who are ready to take full responsibility for their lives and actions, and do not rush about between two fires, making both themselves and everyone around unhappy.

How to correctly and beautifully refuse a man

Women tend to think that men are the stronger sex. Partly so. But, sometimes there is more vulnerability and resentment in them. They are only stone blocks in appearance, but at heart they are little boys who are afraid to hear “no”. But they will have to hear this “no”. And your task is to make sure that they swallow this pill without too much bitterness.

This technique gives great results if you meet an aggressive and assertive man. For them, all the veiled words will mean that their actions must be even more assertive. "No" should sound short, not in raised tones, but with metal in your voice. Naturally, without insults, sarcasm and attacks towards the fan. A cold "no" and perhaps in a circle.

Frontal attack sounds understandable, convincing and categorically. You can just say "no" without adding anything to it. Maybe with a little explanation.

For example: “No, I can’t come”, “No, I have other plans”, “No time”. And do not forget to completely remove flirting, coquetry and affectation. Do not react to provocations and do not get fooled by dragging out the conversation. You can listen to claims and suggestions, but do not mind, do not ask clarifying questions, but simply say “no” again.

This is the softest technique of refusing a fan. Your "no" should be followed by "I'm sorry." For example, "I'm sorry I gave false hope", "I'm sorry, but I already have a boyfriend", "I'm sorry, but I'm not that girl."

The essence of the technique is that a woman should listen carefully to a man, showing her empathy and awkwardness, but at the end be sure to say “no”.

This technique will help to refuse a man whom you have known for a long time. Suppose this is a childhood friend who looked after you at school, and now, after 10 years, the same fire of feelings flared up in him. Tell him about yourself. Everything that we experienced during this time: about my husband, about my parents, about friends and work.

Tell him in such a way that he himself understands that there is no place for him in your life.

Once is an accident. Two is a coincidence. Three or more is the rule. This is exactly how this tactic works. You need to deduce a pattern in the fact that your union is labeled "no". For example, you are married, live in another city, and your mother will not accept him. It is difficult for a man to fight on three fronts at once. In his subconscious, a pattern will be strengthened in the unreality of relations with you.

And even if he moves to your city, achieves the location of your mother, and the husband moves, because it’s not a wall, then the subconscious mind will tell him that other three reasons will immediately grow.

This technique is especially suitable for rejection: a man older than you, superior and wealthy.

“Call me in an hour, oh better tomorrow. No, I can't tomorrow. Let's call on next week? Sorry, it's going to be busy all week. How about in a month? Again, I can't. You know what, but call me "never". Yes, never. Are you tempted to call me "never"? - approximately such a dialogue should sound. And a man should hear and understand him. Reschedule meetings, pull the "cat by the tail" as much as you can. The man himself will get tired of this uncertainty. And a smart man is well aware that this temporary delay is nothing more than a veiled refusal.

This technique is suitable for communicating with assertive fans who do not tolerate objections. But over time, they can simply dry out on their own.

You can't knock forever closed door. On top of that, they won't get a straight rejection and they won't feel knocked out.

You can give the fan one slow dance, but during it explain to the man what your future life will be without it. Give him something you can afford to take away the feeling of desolation and failure from his heart.

If he says: “I either have everything or nothing,” and that’s great. So you will be freed from the dance, but he made the decision. Even more than that, he refused to dance with you.

“I can’t, but my friend will accept your offer with pleasure.” A little pandering, replacement of the soloist, and the trick is in the bag. Perhaps you can really arrange the privacy of a single girlfriend with a great male specimen.

When refusing a man, no matter how you decide, remove all female things from your arsenal. Don't provoke him. Men tend to hunt and conquer. Do not lure him into your traps if you really want him to get away from you. Any of your coquetry will keep him on a leash. If you use all the female charisma, then you need this fan and the topic of rejection is not in front of you.

Friendship with his entourage

An excellent tactic, for example, married man ask about his wife. And not just ask, but praise her, say that she is beautiful and smart. Invite a man to visit with your wife and say that the husband has long wanted to meet them.

Compliment - Refusal - Compliment

If you met a man in social networks, and in person he turned out to be completely different, then give him a portion of compliments with a mandatory refusal. For example: “You are a wonderful person, but, unfortunately, nothing will work out with you, but I am sure that you will find a worthy mate for yourself.” Without unnecessary sweetness, but with the obligatory stroking of the "fur".

If the above points did not work and the boyfriend turned out to be persistent in excess, then you can try:

Ignore. Look through it as if there is no admirer, as if you are looking through glass at the street. Turn on complete indifference, you are not just deaf and dumb, but men are not. And remember the phrase "he who kills with a word finishes with silence." If a man did not understand anything the first time, then you will have to finish him off.
deceive. Don't have a boyfriend? Then "borrow" it for a while from a friend, and demonstrate it to a fan. Better if the "loan" is a boxer. No children? Say that four are sitting at home and asking for food.
Spend an evening with him. Do you want an evening? Give it to him. Just be the opposite of his girlfriend. Let a friend come with you, because she is lonely. Let mom, grandmother and neighbor call all the time. Let your school friends meet - they are all drug addicts and alcoholics. Cursing, spitting on the floor, wearing scary clothes and not washing your hair. It's all exaggerated. But you need to arrange a "chic evening" somewhere in this vein.
Offer friendship. "I will always be your friend." If it suits him, well, give it to him. Maybe fall in love?

How to refuse a man in a relationship

If you are a woman, you have already faced the following problem many times: how to politely refuse a man when he asks for a visit, invites you on a date, or asks for your phone number.

You don’t always want to go on a date, you don’t always want to give an extra reason for a relationship if you are sure that you don’t like this man and you don’t want to have any serious relationship with him. At the same time, you do not want to seem rude, offend a person, especially if he is your old acquaintance.

There are several ways in which you can politely and tactfully let a man know that you do not want to have any further serious relationship with him. You can check out some of them.

Be direct and open, but kind

It is better to say right away that you do not want the development of further relations. Here you can refer to anything - you have a fiancé, you are not ready for a relationship, a man is not your type, etc. It is better to immediately tell the whole truth (well, or almost all) than to give a man hope for the future.

Come up with some nonsense

Quite ridiculous stories often help, which make it clear to a man that you are not interested in him. Describe a situation in which you will be directly involved. Let it seem strange to your fan, but he himself may refuse to venture to invite you on a date. Some girls even go for the following trick: they tell something terrible about themselves, they say, they drink a lot, smoke, walk, etc. This discourages any desire for a normal man to pursue you.

Polite refusal without hesitation and doubt

Use your best efforts to give a polite denial in an acceptable manner. At the same time, your words should sound confident, without manifestations of indecision, otherwise the man will regard this as an attempt to play with him. Do not be rude in your refusal, do not be harsh, but be firm in your intentions.

The shortest failure

In some cases, a very brief waiver helps. You should not even tell any stories, compose fables. Just say that you can not meet a man right now or give your phone number. Sometimes the interlocutor may be offended, but this will not be for long, since you have not done anything wrong to him.

Last phrase rule

Remember that the last phrase spoken in a conversation is always remembered best. Therefore, with the last sentence, you should make it clear to the man that you are really sure of your refusal. Your phrase should not end with such expressions: "Well, I'll think about it" or "Everything is possible, but not now", etc. If you really do not want attention from this or that boyfriend, as politely as possible, let him understand this. The same applies to those cases when you do not want to offend your old friend who is in love with you. You should not give him hope with such phrases if you do not want to meet him. Let it be painful at first, but then he will definitely establish friendly relations with you.

How to refuse a man and not spoil the relationship with him?

The correct solution to the question of how to refuse a man and not ruin relations with him lies in the reasons for the “delicious situation”. So you have to look for the best way out when you like a man and you don’t want to spoil your relationship with him at all. But the time for intimacy has not yet come (due to moral principles or other circumstances). Rejection is also inevitable if the man does not evoke a response in you, but respect for the person or social status requires special tact and discretion in actions.

In addition, “throw into the pool with your head” is not worth it when:

the man already has another lover or wife;
he is a collector of love affairs;
does not share your views and values;
is a slave to bad habits.

It is quite natural that a woman does not want to humiliate herself with unworthy relationships. But a man who sincerely loves and respects her will make an effort to rise to the desired level, but will not demand a “lowering the bar”.

How to tactfully refuse a man, “without burning bridges behind you”?

It is much easier to achieve understanding if you speak with a person in a language that he understands, or rather, focus on a value system that is understandable to him. So, a man interested in a career can explain his refusal by employment at work, and a connoisseur family values arguments in the form of related cases will be clearer. In this case, there will be no unpleasant "draft", and there will be a chance for new attempts.

A man will not be offended by an indirect refusal, presented through a story or an anecdote that dots the “I” in a positive form, full of humor and cheerful mood. If this person causes sincere respect and has done a lot of good for you - you should use the form of a compliment when you tell your partner how beautiful, attentive, etc., but relations with him are possible only in a brotherly or friendly way.

Often a woman herself does not know how best to act. In this situation, it is worth hinting that you need to think, or turning the situation into a joke (but always in a friendly tone). Funny and funny speeches will help the guy relax and tune in to a peaceful note, which will help delay the decision, carefully weigh all the arguments and your own feelings.

How to refuse a man, but sweeten the pill?

Looking for the best way to refuse a man and not ruin relations with him, first of all, you should not allow him to feel rejected, unnecessary and finally expelled from the world of his beloved woman.

But since any living soul deserves love and respect, the main thing is to try to cause as little pain as possible, sincerely empathizing with the one who has to be refused. You can dispel gloomy colors with the help of a compromise, when a person is offered some kind of alternative in the form of assistance in a particular matter, joint work, friendly communication or the organization of a new acquaintance.

In order for the guy who was refused to be able to save face, he should not have the feeling of a banal “excuse” because of your inarticulate muttering and fear of looking into your eyes. Also, the arguments will not be heard, and the guy will consider himself deceived when in large numbers hastily spoken words. However, the girl should not feel guilty and long-windedly apologize, giving false hope. It is better not to exacerbate the situation by limiting yourself to a concise, brief answer.

If a girl plans to refuse a man so that he shows even more interest, and thereby “bind” the guy to her more tightly, it is worth raising not only her own “value”, but also the partner’s self-esteem. In this case, impregnability only strengthens desire. Here it is worth hinting at mutual sympathy and expressing confidence that the man will have enough tact and patience not to rush things. The delay can be explained by the desire to verify the depth of feelings and get to know the young man better.

How to refuse a man: A simple and effective way

From time to time, we all find ourselves in a situation where we need to refuse a person. Definitely tell him no.

But this rejection is not always easy. Sometimes, surprising ourselves, we say “yes” instead of “no”. Most often, such situations occur in communication with men. Especially when the relationship is just starting or when they are going through a crisis.

Women do not know how to refuse a man correctly. Not because they are reliable and ready for any concessions. Because no one taught them. There is a misconception that once you refuse a man, you can lose him forever. How many women have been ruined by this delusion! How many were forced to do something that they later regretted ...

Women, more than men, tend to give in and are sensitive to what others might think of them. With their refusal, they are often afraid to offend a man, hurt his pride. As a result, such good intentions bring problems on their heads. A woman too often says "no" guiltily and uncertainly. He tries to justify himself, offers to agree on a compromise option and remain friends. As a result, the man does not take her refusal seriously. And he tries with all his might to convince a woman, sometimes even to intimidate or insult. How to refuse a man correctly? There is one simple effective way. Let's find out which one.

Often, women tend to think for a long time "how to refuse a man." They are tormented by questions: “How can he say this? What will he think of me? How will he react to my words? And this is one of the most important mistakes women - they are more worried about him than about themselves.

Believe me, you should not get hung up on the question of what will happen after your “no”.

Think about yourself—your desires, your opinions, and your expectations. You have the right to decide whether you want to meet this man, whether you are ready to negotiate with him and under what conditions, whether you need him. And no one can impose themselves on you.

If you value and love yourself, then the question of how to refuse a man will be solved very easily for you. You just answer no.

If self-love is not all right yet, do it. Calmly say no. No need to justify. Or vice versa - to blame: “How dare you offer me such a thing ?!” If you don’t want to offend a man with a refusal, simply say “no”.

If you doubt your resolve or are afraid to start making excuses, try to say “no” and leave. Especially if you understand that you can be persuaded to change your mind and force you to comply. Say it simple short word"no" and leave.

Then you will not, with your guilty look, provoke a man to turn your “no” into a “yes”. After all, your confused face gives a man hope and excitement. And he thinks: "Nothing, nothing, I'll persuade her now." So, in order not to tempt a man once again, say the word "no." Pronounce it confidently and easily. And on this the problem of how to refuse a man will disappear by itself.

By the way, if you are required to explain, remember that you have every right not to give them. “No” is the magic word, it can protect you from problems. No wonder they say - no, and there is no trial. Learn to appreciate yourself and your desires. Don't be coaxed into doing something you don't want to.